Surprises According to Humphrey (17 page)

BOOK: Surprises According to Humphrey
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And then we were outside. It was such a beautiful day! I was hoping there wasn’t a real fire, not here or anywhere. But if there was, I was prepared to STOP-DROP-ROLL. As I looked around, I noticed that the playground looked a lot different than the last time we had a fire drill.

For one thing, there was a big, shiny fire engine parked near the swings. Sitting on top of the fire engine was our old friend Jeff Herman, smiling broadly. A small stage had been set up with a microphone. Sitting on the stage was none other than Mr. Brisbane, in his wheelchair. He was smiling, too. There were all kinds of familiar faces. Was that Aldo? And his wife, Maria? Many of my friends’ parents were there. And some people who didn’t seem to belong there at all, like Joyce from Maycrest Manor and Aldo’s niece, Amy.

WHAT-WHAT-WHAT was going on? I wondered. And then I saw a banner draped above the stage. It said, MRS. BRISBANE APPRECIATION DAY.

I glanced over at my teacher. I’ve seen Mrs. Brisbane look happy, sad, mad, tired, puzzled and even discouraged. But I’ve never seen her look so surprised.

Mr. Morales stepped up onstage and tapped the microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, students, we are gathered here to honor one of Longfellow School’s greatest assets: Mrs. Sue Brisbane of Room Twenty-six. For thirty years, she’s been informing, supporting and inspiring students in our community. And I think it’s time that we all said, ‘Thank you!’”

The crowd cheered wildly. “THANKS-THANKS-THANKS!” I shouted as loudly as my little lungs would let me. I heard an enthusiastic “BOING-BOING-BOING” behind me.

The principal continued. “As we all know, it’s not easy to get Mrs. Brisbane out of her classroom, so I want to thank Jeff Herman of the Fire Department for helping us arrange this fire drill as part of our scheme. Thanks, Jeff.”

After more applause, Mrs. Brisbane was called to the stage, where she took a seat next to Mr. Brisbane, who just couldn’t stop smiling. Then, one by one, people came up to the microphone to thank Mrs. Brisbane. Aldo said she’d inspired him to go back to school to be a teacher. Amy said she’d inspired
her
to become a doctor. Joyce said Mrs. Brisbane had realized her son had a hearing problem and got him help. Other parents thanked her. And then, the students of Room 26 were called up to the stage.

Miranda brought me right along, and Richie and Kirk brought Og, too. Mrs. Wright stood in front of the stage and blew her whistle (of course). Garth started
strumming his guitar (where did that come from?). Then my friends began to sing a song that sounded a lot like “Yankee Doodle Came to Town,” but with different words.

Mrs. Brisbane came to school

To teach us to be smarter,

When we tried to goof around,

She made us work much harder.

Mrs. Brisbane, keep it up,

You are oh so handy,

Keep on teaching kids like us,

And we will all be dandy.

Mrs. Brisbane taught us well,

Starting in September,

We have learned so much from her,

And we will all remember.

Mrs. Brisbane, thanks a lot,

We will not forget you,

Don’t stop helping kids like us,

For we will never let you.

And then they all shouted, “Thanks, Mrs. Brisbane!”

Mr. Brisbane handed his wife a handkerchief and she wiped her eyes. I wished I had a handkerchief, too.

Mr. Morales came to the microphone again and thanked Mrs. Wright. “It took some clever planning to keep this party and this song a surprise,” he said. “Mrs. Wright taught the children the song during P.E. class. Our room mothers, Mrs. Hopper and Mrs. Patel, made a lot of calls, and our custodian, Aldo Amato, and his wife helped organize this day.”

It was nice to think that Mr. Morales made a Plan, too. I always knew he was a very smart human.

Everyone applauded again. But Mr. Morales wasn’t finished. “Most of the time, we don’t thank our teachers until they retire. I’m so glad we had the chance to thank Mrs. Brisbane for
not
retiring. We hope she’ll be here another thirty years.”

“At least!” I squeaked, which made Miranda giggle.

“Finally, I can’t take credit for thinking of this surprise party,” Mr. Morales continued. “I have to thank an unknown person who left the suggestion in my suggestion box. Thank you, whoever you are.”

“You’re welcome,” I squeaked softly.

“So things worked out, Og,” I said that evening when my friend and I were alone.

Og leaped up and dove down into his tank with a gigantic splash. That meant he was happy. So was I.

Sometimes you have to give a Plan a long time to work.

Sometimes things work out differently than you expected, but they still work out.

Life is full of surprises. And I think that’s a VERY-VERY-VERY good thing.

SUGGESTION:
An idea you offer to someone else in order to be helpful. It’s a good idea to listen to suggestions, especially if they involve
partie
s and, more importantly, if they involve parties honoring friends you REALLY-REALLY-REALLY like. If those parties include your favorite humans and nice speeches and some singing, so much the better.

Humphrey’s Dictionary of Wonderful Words

Humphrey’s Top Ten Good Surprises

1.
Share something with a friend: like ice cream (or broccoli—yum!) or a great book.

2.
Put a note saying something nice about someone on his or her desk. Don’t sign it! (And don’t use the word
rat
in the note—NO-NO-NO! Unless you’re talking about a pet rat you love. Because pet rats are almost as nice as hamsters.)

3.
Throw a surprise party for someone special.

4.
Help somebody (like your mom or dad or teacher) without being asked. Now
that’s
a nice surprise!

5.
Visit someone in the hospital or a retirement home. Bring something you can do together, like a puzzle or music to listen to.

6.
Offer to read to your younger brothers and sisters. Or offer to play a game with them.

7.
Draw a picture of someone you like and give it to that person.

8.
Give your dog or cat (or hamster) a good scratching. They’ll like it—but be gentle!

9.
Smile at someone when they least expect it.

10.
Invite a friend over to play with your hamster. FUN-FUN-FUN!

Dear Reader,

SURPRISE-SURPRISE-SURPRISE! Humphrey is back!

Since Humphrey loves adventures out of his cage so much, I thought it was high time he had his own hamster ball. That was a nice surprise for me to give him. But as I imagined him rolling across A.J.’s yard, I wondered what would happen if he rolled right up to a cat. That was a not-nice surprise for me to give him…but it was a lot of fun to write!

When readers ask me what happens to Humphrey in
Surprises According to Humphrey
, I tell them, “Well…he’s very worried he might be abducted by aliens from another planet!” From the funny looks I get, I guess fans just can’t figure out how that could be possible. I couldn’t either, at first, but the dream about the alien carrots was one of the most fun sections of a Humphrey book I’ve ever written—at least until the next book.

After all, if I’m going to write a book to entertain readers, I’d better entertain myself as well. And I do. Whether I’m writing about rolling along in the hamster ball or dashing down to the Suggestion Box, I’m having
at least
as good a time as Humphrey.

But there are serious worries for Humphrey, too, as always. How can he help Garth and A.J. repair their friendship? How can he help inspire the people at Maycrest Manor? Will Mrs. Brisbane really retire? And how can one small hamster get a whole school to show appreciation for a great teacher?

Then there’s the fire drill. No one really likes fire drills, except for the fact that they get people out of the classroom for a while. I don’t think we take them very seriously. But knowing what to do in case of fire is as important for kids as it is for adults. I know, because my
grandfather was a fireman with Engine Company 29. He saved many people’s lives in days when firefighters didn’t have the safety equipment that they have now. Grandpa’s first name was Herman. We also have a fireman in the family now—my niece’s husband. His first name is Jeff. So now you know how the firefighter Jeff Herman of Engine Company 29 came to be!

When my sister and I were little, it bothered Grandpa that we were a little
too
interested in matches. In those days, there were more matches around. You needed them in the kitchen to light the oven, and people smoked more, too. So one day, he sat us down at the kitchen table with matches and stood by watchfully as he made us light match after match after match until we were just plain sick of it! It worked, I guess, because I never played with matches after that.

Now, how to weave all these different threads—fire drills, hamster balls, aliens, and a cat—together into one story that somehow makes sense?

Like Humphrey, I usually start out with a Plan. But as in life, surprises pop up as I write.

It’s funny to think that this is actually my job. How lucky can I be? And I consider myself especially lucky to be a F.O.H. (Friend of Humphrey).

I hope that you’re a F.O.H., too!

From one friend to another,

Betty G. Birney

P.S. PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE take the Fire Safety Quiz and learn as much about the subject as you can!

Humphrey’s Baffling Brain Benders

Mrs. Brisbane came up with some tricky questions for Wacky Wednesday. Here are some more:

1.
Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
2.
How many months have twenty-five days in them?
3.
There’s a fire in a ten-story building. A man panics and jumps out of the window. How does he survive?
4.
What can be opened but can’t be closed?
5.
What does this expression say: AROCKcaughtAHARDPLACE
6.
What’s coming but never arrives?
7.
How can you use the letters in NEW DOOR to make one word?
8.
What two things do you never eat for breakfast?
9.
I appear once in a year and twice in a decade. What am I?
10.
What has legs but can’t move?
11.
Three people try to crowd under one small umbrella, but nobody gets wet. How can that be?
12.
Mary’s father had four children. Three are named Nana, Nene, and Nini. So what is the fourth child’s name?

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