Surrendered (Heart of a Warrior Series Book 3) (16 page)

“Because you just eliminated that Taliban cell. Because I am no longer in play. And because there is no one he trusts more than himself to get the job done now that I am gone.”

“How big a shipment are we talking?”

“Enough to create another catastrophe the size of nine-eleven on American soil if executed correctly.”

Adrenaline charged through Nick, the kind that made him ready to jump a plane to the Middle East or wherever this transaction would occur. The kind that made his trigger finger itch to hold his rifle. One last op. This could be it. This could eliminate a major terrorist and a plan to hurt America again.

Jake slipped into the chair next to Janus. Nick felt the controlled energy radiating off of him as he leveled his tone. “I’ll ask again. How do you know all this?”

“Because I set up the buy months ago. And one of the informants trusts me more than Sasha.”

Jake looked at Nick, who nodded. “If we can confirm your information, we’ll talk terms. But we will need specifics.”

The ball was in Jake’s court now. Nick rose to leave, buttoning his jacket as he prepared to revisit the snowy environment outside the door. Cold, wet stuff should never be allowed to fall from the sky, but he’d rather be out there than spend another minute looking into the eyes of a woman who could get them all killed. “I’ll see myself out. Keep me posted.”

“We’ll be in touch soon, I’m sure.”

“Wait.” Her sharp voice sliced through Nick. “I’m not finished with you yet.”

Nick turned. “I think you’ve said all that needs to be said.”

“Not quite. I have one more condition for my deal. I want to see Natalia.”

He didn’t need to step outside for his blood to freeze. He slumped against the wall and crossed his arms. “No.”

“Then no deal.”

“Then you’re dead.” With each passing moment, Nick found it harder to control the emotions. He’d never met his sister, but he didn’t have to think at all to know he wouldn’t allow this woman within a mile of her.

“Hawk,” Jake warned.

“I’m not going to do that to her, Jake.”

Jake only stared. “We’ll talk about it.”

Nick pushed off the wall but stopped as Janus stood, all five foot two inches of her focused on him. “If I do not see her, I will make sure it reaches Sasha’s ears that I have two children I gave up at birth. Two children that I long to reconcile with before I meet my death.” Her voice blackened with every word and her eyes held the threat of death. “I will make sure he knows exactly where to find both of you. And I believe that address will soon include a certain auburn-haired beauty, am I correct?”

It took every one of Nick’s instincts to stay calm. Her decisions, her selfishness had resulted in the death of his biological father, Bates, and countless others. Kaylan and Natalie would not fall into that count. He didn’t care if he died trying. He would not lose either one of them. This conversation was over.

“Jake, I trust you’ll take care of this.”

Jake’s gaze traveled from Janus’s poised stance to Nick and back. He nodded as Nick turned and made himself walk from the room. But with everything in him, he wanted to sprint back to California, lock Kaylan and Natalie away, and take this guy out with his team.

If he’d learned anything over the past few months, it was that Janus only looked out for herself. Nothing good could come of her meeting Natalie, and nothing good could come from this meeting. But he would rather go to his death than let her near the women he loved. His heart hardened within him as he stepped into the cold. Flurries floated through the air and landed on his face. Despite the freezing temperature, his blood boiled, heating every part of him. He couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t give the grace that he knew he should give to his enemy. She’d threatened him for the last time.

Anya Petrov was too far gone to forgive.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Nick held Kaylan tighter than he’d intended on their Friday night date, but he didn’t care. Dread still filled him at the thought of Janus’s threats only twenty-four hours before. He hadn’t been able to sit still during the plane ride this morning or during the car ride from the airport when they arrived this afternoon.

“Babe, you’re hurting me.”

“Sorry.” He released her and stepped back but reached for her hand and wound his fingers through hers. Man, it felt good to touch her, to be near her.

They walked down the beach towards the traveling carnival where a Ferris wheel, games, and several other rides dominated the parking lot. Despite the chill of the night, his blood ran warm. He slung his arm over Kaylan’s shoulders and kissed her hair.

“Want to tell me what has you upset?”

“Who says I’m upset?”

She wrapped her arm around his waist, their pace comfortable, in sync. “I know you. And you can’t hide those raging emotions from me. You may be as cool as a block of ice in a fight, but y’all boil pretty hot the rest of the time. Even if you don’t show it.” She grinned at him. “At least my SEAL does.”

“You think you’re so smart.” He couldn’t resist kissing her cute grin. They came to a stop at the edge of the carnival, the night reserved for just the two of them. Lights glowed in the darkness, obscuring the stars Nick loved so much. The Ferris wheel lit up with hundreds of multicolored lights. Children squealed in delight from the tilt-a-whirl. The ringing of victory and games charged the air. Nick knew he should relax, but all his senses felt heightened, on alert at all times. He wanted to be here with Kaylan. But he also wanted to deploy and take care of business.

“Hey.” She squeezed the hand hanging over her shoulder. “Be here with me, please.”

He turned her to face him, squeezing her waist. “You and me, babe. What do you want to do?”

“Let’s start with the Ferris wheel.” They turned and walked toward the line. “And don’t think I didn’t notice that you avoided my question.”

“Forget smart. You’re brilliant. And a little too observant.”

“You bug me about not paying enough attention. You bug me about paying too much attention. Pick one.”

“I need you to not pay attention when I don’t want you to poke.”

She stood on her tip toes and kissed his cheek. “I think that’s when I need to know the most.”

“Maybe.” He smiled.

They slipped into the next seat on the Ferris wheel. Nick eyed the chipping paint overpowered by the flashing lights. He’d jumped out of planes in the middle of the night but somehow this carnival ride made him more nervous than any of his stunts. He could see the headlines: Navy SEAL Killed in Freak Ferris Wheel Accident. What a way to go.

“Nick . . .”

“Sorry. I’m here. I’m with you.” He slipped his arm around her shoulders and leaned back, the seat rocking a bit with his movement.

Kaylan peered over the edge as the ground slipped farther from reach. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” she whimpered as the basket pitched again.

He wrapped his arm a little tighter, fighting the drop in his stomach as they lurched to a halt. “Let’s just play a game.”

“Nothing that requires moving.”

“I guess kissing is out.”

She grinned, her eyes dancing in the energy twirling around them. “That might be more dangerous than this ride.”

“True. We’ll table that for now. How about a game of ‘would you rather’?”

“You and your question games.” She sighed. “All right. I’ll go first. Would you rather go back in time or into the future?”

“Back in time. I don’t want to know the future. Would you rather have a huge wedding and stay here for the honeymoon, or elope and have a huge honeymoon?”

“Um, are we talking hypothetical here? Because we kinda planned everything already.”

He chuckled. “It’s a game, babe. Relax.” Their cart swung as the ride started again. Their feet hung above the ground as the ride hoisted them back into the air and stopped again.

“I would rather elope and have a huge honeymoon.”

“We should have played this game before planning.”

She rolled her eyes and swatted his chest.

“Kidding. Kidding.” He poked her in the ribs. “Your turn.”

“Would you rather wrestle a hippo or a bear?”

He threw his head back and laughed. “Where does your gorgeous brain get this stuff?”

“Hey, buddy, you wanted to play. Answer my question.”

“Wrestle a hippo. You can avoid the mouth, but those bear claws could slice you up in a fight.” Their cart swung to the very top and stopped. The carnival stretched below them and a black star-studded sky hovered above. “My turn.” His stomach churned. “Would you rather live an uncertain, unsafe life with a man you love, or live a stable, safe life with a man you like but don’t love?”

Uncertainty danced across her face. “Do you play these games just to get answers to things you wouldn’t normally ask?”

He offered a nervous laugh. “I don’t mean to.” They started moving again, their cart quickly approaching the ground and their exit. Not enough time to answer. Not enough time to really know.

“Short answer is I would never trade you for the world, Nick Carmichael. No matter how many fights we have, how many mean mothers show up, or how many men threaten my life.”

Her fingers stroked his face. He closed his eyes, his spirit weary. Strength came from Christ alone, and he would need it to lead this beautiful woman, to treasure her, and to protect her.  “I’m so sorry for all this mess.”

“Hey, look at me.” He opened his eyes to passionate green gazing back at him. “We do this together. You and me.” She slipped her arms around his neck. “I would rather you be a man who follows the Lord into battle for others than a man content to watch from the sidelines and do nothing. Following where Jesus leads is never safe, but it’s always the best place to be.”

He rested his forehead on hers, sharing her strength. He chuckled. “As long as we keep having these weak moments at opposite times, I think we will be okay.”

Her smile lit up his world. “Come on. Let’s go play some real games.”

*

They spent hours trying every carnival game in the parking lot. Kaylan walked away with a pink stuffed elephant, a yo-yo Nick swore he would learn to use, and a small basketball. With an aching stomach due to way too much cotton candy and a night spent laughing at everything and nothing, Kaylan slipped her hand in Nick’s, ready to go home.

“Step right up, step right up,” a young guy in suspenders and a straw hat called from a high striker, a game Kaylan hadn’t seen in ages. A twelve-foot-tall pole with a puck at the bottom towered over the man. He balanced his weight against a wooden stick with a heavy mallet at the end as he yelled at the crowd to step up and take a shot at making the puck fly up and strike the bell fixed to the top of the pole.

“You there,” he pointed at Nick. “C’mon, show your little lady how strong you are. Step up and take a shot.” He held out the end of the mallet to Nick.

Nick waved him off. “No, thanks. I think we’re done for the night.”

“Oh, c’mon. Are you chicken, a big strapping dude like you?”

Kaylan knew he’d made a mistake as soon as he’d called her competitive fiancé “chicken.” While Nick didn’t need to prove anything, it didn’t stop him from making a point every now and then. Just for fun. She rolled her eyes as he accepted the mallet and stepped up to the base of the high striker.

“You going to cheer me on, babe?” A gleam from a night of fun filled his blue eyes.

“I don’t think I need to feed your ego any.”

“C’mon, don’t leave your man hanging,” straw hat goaded.

“He knows he can do it.”

Nick took a bow. A laugh slipped before she could stop it. If he managed to hit the bell, she wouldn’t hear the end of it for weeks.

A crowd gathered as the carnival man raised his voice, creating a spectacle that might keep him busy the rest of the night.

“Military?” a woman said to Kaylan’s right.

Kaylan smiled. “Yes. How’d you know?”

“They have a look about them. You hang around long enough and you can spot ’em. Every branch carries themselves differently.”

“Do you have family in the military?”

“My ex was a marine.”

Kaylan nodded. The stout lady had a look about her, too, like she could eat Kaylan for lunch. Nick got the crowd clapping as he gripped the mallet in his hands like a bat and prepared to swing.

“It’ll never last.”

Kaylan turned to look at her, really look at her for the first time, but the woman’s attention was firmly fixed on Nick. “Excuse me?”

“Take it from me, honey. You’ll never be able to hold onto a man like that for long. Another woman will get him. Or the job will. But in the end, it’s all the same.”

Nick swung and the bell rang out loud and clear. The crowd cheered as he took a bow. Kaylan clapped and smiled as Nick came and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. But deep inside, she wrestled with the woman’s words. She never worried about Nick with another woman. Women looked at Nick all the time, even with Kaylan present, but he never noticed them, never responded with anything other than friendly courtesy. But his job?

Kaylan glanced down at the palm of her hand, the very hand that she’d fought to open after the pastor’s sermon. All she wanted to do was let go, surrender Nick and their relationship to the Lord. Surrender her fear, but at every turn something warred with that decision.

But she’d lived with the conflict long enough to realize that as long as the war raged on, it meant her fear hadn’t won. She leaned closer to Nick as he walked her to their car, talking and laughing about their night. The man next to her meant the world to her, and she would keep fighting.

Even when the tiny voice within her told her the woman might be right. She might lose him.