Surrendered on the Frontier (2 page)

“Thank you, no,” Samuel said. “You’ve got your own work to do here. But I’ll be by right soon to visit again. Noon?”

I nodded. He looked me over then, and his eyes warmed. To my surprise, he reached his hand out and it wrapped around the back of my neck. He tugged, drawing me closer to him. His mouth dipped to my forehead and he gave me a brief, chaste kiss. “You be a good girl, now, Ruth, and take care of yourself.”

“I will,” I said with a smile. I stood in front of the door, watching until I couldn’t see him anymore. And even as I felt the warmth of his lips still upon my skin, I felt suddenly very, very alone.

* * *

Hannah sat at the table, swinging her little feet in front of her. Her hair was lighter than mine, a caramel-colored brown, neatly braided. Her freckled face was scrubbed clean, her blue eyes bright and cheerful. I marveled at the transformation my little girl had undergone in the year with just me and the Stanleys watching over her. She no longer cowered, or hid in her room in fear. She walked taller now. I was proud of my strong little girl.

We were getting used to our new home. It was still built upon the plot of land Leroy and I had staked when we were newlyweds, so fortunately I hadn’t had to begin new with crops. They’d been planted in previous years, and though not maintained most recently, I’d been putting in tireless hours weeding and pruning in preparation for spring. But it was difficult for me to keep up the farm. The house and barn were sturdily built, but needed constant attention. Our livestock was meager, but also needed care.

So as Hannah chattered on and on about the book she read for school, and the new trail to the creek she and Matthew found, my mind was occupied.

How would I get what we needed? What services did I possibly have to offer? I had no idea how I could earn some extra income.

“Ma, you seem as if you’re a mile away today,” Hannah said, taking a long sip of milk from her tin cup.

“Oh, just much on my mind, darlin’,” I said, stirring the coffee as I prepared it. The warm, pungent scent filled the room, and I smiled softly to myself. The first cup of coffee with just a bit of the fresh milk would do me good. “You need new shoes. We need supplies around here, and I need to be prepared to tend to the animals.”

Hannah nodded. “Ma?”

“Yes?”

“Can I go to Mary Ellen’s? She’s having a birthday celebration, and I wanted to go.”

I turned my back to her and faced the stove. Frowning as I poured the steaming coffee into my mug, I kept my back purposefully to Hannah, so she wouldn’t see my face. I did not want her to go. It had only been a year since we had broken free from the tyranny of my husband. I wanted to shield her from all that was evil and wicked and hurtful in the world. As long as I lived, I’d never forget the way he’d raised his hands to her. I’d defended her every time, to my own detriment, and couldn’t bear the thought of another soul harming her.

“I don’t know,” I said. I didn’t want to tell her no. “I’ll think on it, and let you know.”

Behind me, she responded, “Yes, Ma.”

I decided to change the subject. “I saw a nest full of eggs this morning when I went to get the water,” I said. “And one of them is cracking open! We’ll hear the chirps of baby songbirds any minute now.”

My proclamation had the desired effect. Hannah’s eyes shone. “Ooooh! I want to see!” she said, but I pointed to her breakfast and reminded her to finish. She quickly downed the remainder of her food, and as soon as she was done, the two of us scurried out of the house to where the nest lay in the eaves of the barn. We crept along quietly. I reveled in my daughter’s shining eyes as we came upon the nest. “Three of them, Mama!” she whispered, pointing a little finger at the trio of downy little baby birds chirping and mewing for their mama. As we watched, stock still, the mama bird came flying in with a large, wiggly worm in its beak.

Hannah gasped. “Oooh, oh, the mama’s gonna feed the worm to the babies!” she hissed.

“Well, of course,” I said. “Birds don’t nurse their young like the cows and horses.”

“I know! It’s just…
awful
!”
she said, giving a muffled shriek as one little bird began eagerly nipping at the worm. “Oh, that little one didn’t get anything to eat, because the other ones were all greedy! I wonder what it would be like to share something like that with your brothers and sisters.”

“Well, now, I’m sure that mama is capable of finding more worms,” I said with a chuckle.

“I can find some, too! I’ll pile them all up right next to the nest where she can find them.”

“Oh, that’s a noble idea,” I said. “But now it’s time you get yourself to school.”

We both started as we heard a shout right outside the barn.

“Hannah!”

“Oh, that’d be Matthew,” she said, scrambling up to go meet him outside. I brushed the hay from my apron and followed behind her, the sun momentarily blinding me.

Matthew stood with his lunch pail in one hand and books in the other, his wild hair wet and slicked down, and I remembered well the mornings he’d fight his ma, when Samuel wasn’t there, until she bested him and straightened his hair out for school. If Samuel was there he’d merely give him that ‘look’ and say in his low voice, “Matthew, mind your ma,” and Matthew would meekly comply.

As my eyes adjusted to the light, I looked with surprise to see that Samuel stood next to him. I hadn’t expected Samuel to return so soon. I nodded to him, and he tipped his hat.

“All right, then, you two behave yourselves, and come straight back here for some cookies after school,” I said, knowing that they’d come straight home with the promise of such a treat.

I waved as I saw them off, pleased Hannah had Matthew to watch out for her. I stood, my arms wrapped around me, enjoying the warmth of the sun. Though Samuel stood beside me, my mind was churning over all I had to do that day, so I didn’t speak for a moment. I had so very much on my mind that when I heard the squall of the barn cat, I just about jumped out of my skin.

There was chirping and squawks, and sounds of a struggle just inside the barn. I gasped, thankful in the split second it took me to realize what was happening, that Hannah had already gone to school. I bolted to the barn, but Samuel got there first.

* * *

There were feathers and blood, and a proud-looking tabby cat standing with the mama bird limp in its mouth. We called the cat Cornhusk, and she was Hannah’s least favorite, scrawny and aloof, but I liked her because she hunted mice with a vengeance. Cornhusk came to me and dropped the bird as an offering at my feet. I shook with fury.

“You wicked, evil thing!” I shrieked, swatting at it fiercely with my hand. It scurried away, narrowly missing my hand, and likely confused as to why I hadn’t been grateful for the gift.

I fell to my knees and gently lifted the lifeless bird. Dropping the bird, I lifted my apron to my face. As tears welled in my eyes and sadness filled my chest, Samuel spoke.

“Now, Ruth, don’t despair,” he said. “Come here, woman, and look.”

I dropped my apron.

“Every one of ‘em unharmed,” he murmured, picking up one of the wee baby birds in his large hand. The baby bird pecked at his palm, causing him to chuckle as he stroked one large, rough finger over the downy feathers.

“They’re all safe?” I whispered.

He smiled and nodded. “They’ll need some attention, of course,” he said. “I mean, without their mama they won’t be able to survive.”

Something about watching his big, gentle hand holding the tiny baby bird made my heart twist.

“They’ll need shelter, water, and food,” he continued. “You can’t keep ‘em in here like this. Any manner of beast would get ‘em. You’ve got a place inside?”

“Of course I do,” I said. And with his help, we moved the little nest and the three baby birds into our cabin. One of the people who’d helped raise our house had fashioned a bit of a table out of a tree stump for Hannah, which stood right next to her bed and beneath the window in her room. It worked as the perfect sunny spot. The little birds chirped and squawked. I smiled as I turned to Samuel.

“What brings you here?” I asked. “I thought you were shearing the sheep today.”

“Ma asked if I’d come and fetch you,” he said. “Said she wanted to have your hand in helpin’. Matthew found himself a honey tree, and she said come and help, and take what you’d like.”

“Honey?” I asked, as gleeful as a small child. I loved honey on my biscuits, or in my tea, and I still made a honey cake my own ma taught me to make when I was a little girl. But honey wasn’t something easily found, or even easy to come by. When we did find it, we found it aplenty, and stored it away as best we could. It was liquid gold to me.

Samuel’s eyes twinkled. “I think she’d much appreciate it if you’d give a hand with the dinner. You know I like your food better’n anyone else’s, anyway.”

I wondered for a moment if this was his polite way of saying, “Ma wants to make sure you and Hannah have enough to eat.” I was quite a hand at cooking, though, and Ma said I could make a meal fit for a king with nothing more than greens from the garden and a little bit of sunshine.

When I didn’t answer right away, Samuel’s eyes hardened a bit. “I know that look, woman,” he said.

“What look?” I responded, pretending to ignore him as I turned my back to him and tended to the little birds in my nest.

“That stubborn look that says your pride is gettin’ in the way of good sense is what. When’s the last time you and Hannah had meat?”

I frowned, giving him a quick glance over my shoulder. “We do just fine, thank you. Honestly, Samuel, I don’t know if I have time to go with you today. I’ve much to do around here.”

He crossed his arms on his chest and looked at me sternly. “Tell me.”

“Tell you what?” I asked, feeling my irritation rising.

“What you’ve got to do today.”

The nerve of the man! “Do you doubt my honesty?” I asked, spinning around to face him. “Or is it that you have no use for woman’s work? You think that the work in the house isn’t as important as the work in the field? You’d do well to remember that I have both the work of a man
and
woman on this farm!” I’d marched over to him as I spoke, so close to him now my angry exhale ruffled his shirt.

His eyes darkened. “Woman, if you hadn’t been mistreated at the hand of that lowlife husband of yours, do you have any idea what I’d do to you?”

My anger flared into flames of fury. “How
dare
you threaten me? You’d take a hand to me like he did? You wouldn’t!”

He took a step toward me then—the only step between us—so that now he towered over me and I had to crane my neck to look up at his furious face.

His voice was a low, hissed whisper. “Not like he did. You insult me to even hint at such a thing. But there’s a world of difference between his fist and my palm across your backside. Ruth Watson, though you try my patience, I won’t spank you. But as God is my witness, if you don’t close your mouth, I’ll close it in the only way I can.”

My stomach clenched. I knew I was acting in anger and I knew Samuel was a good man, but I was not immune to the threat of a spanking. I also didn’t know how he meant to close my mouth.

I poked a finger at his chest, though I trembled. I was furious at his ridiculous statement but angrier still at my body that would betray me. For I was somehow set to flames with his warning of a spanking, my belly tingling.

“Don’t you
ever
,” I began, but his large hand wrapped around my smaller one, interrupting my punctuated set-to, pinning my hand behind my back. With his other hand, he grasped my second wrist. My chest heaved with impotent anger and fear, and the room fairly spun with the intensity of my feelings. And before I knew what was happening, his mouth met mine.

I wanted to protest. I wanted to push him away.

I wanted to be stronger than I was.

But I was not. As he kissed me, I moaned. My wrists pinned helplessly behind my back, overcome by the sheer size of the man compared to my tiny frame, I felt consumed by him. His mouth was warm and sensual, surprisingly soft, and in sharp contrast to the whiskers that pricked my lips. I felt the flicker of his tongue in my mouth, and my chest constricted, as he kept his hands firmly on mine. He kissed me until my knees weakened. I’d never been kissed like this before.

I heard the distant chirping of the birds, and further in the distance, the bang of an axe on a log. Someone was chopping wood, and a hawk cried overhead, but it all murmured in the background as my only focus was Samuel’s mouth on mine. Arousal flamed in me, licks of fire between my legs and low in my belly, as my body yearned to be touched by him.

I’d been sold into marriage by my father to a man who beat me on our wedding night and took what he wanted. I’d never been touched by a lover before. I longed for Samuel’s touch. I wanted more, as I felt deep within me that somehow his touch would cleanse me. I wanted his hands on my breasts. I wanted him to strip me. I wanted his strong, powerful hands over my bare skin, ravishing me as I relinquished myself to him so that my body no longer remembered the savage assault I’d experienced, but instead the claiming of a real man, a lover.

I knew my thoughts were wanton. I well knew that such desires for an unwed woman were considered sinful. Other than the Stanleys, ‘polite society’ had spurned me when I’d been wed to a man who drank and beat me, so I’d long since discarded any care for societal expectations and morals.

As his mouth pulled away from me, I looked at him in astonishment. I had no words.

His eyes smiled at me. “I have means to quiet that razor-sharp tongue of yours, little Ruth.”

“You’re a brute,” I whispered helplessly.

He released my hands and stepped back, one corner of his mouth turning up. “Honey, if you think that was brutal, we could have a talk or two to show you otherwise.”

And in that moment, somehow it all struck me as funny. My flaring temper, over—what? His ‘way’ of quieting my mouth. His declaration that I needed a spanking but he’d stay his hand, and the way he implied he could do more than kiss me to keep me in line. Amusement bubbled up inside me that I couldn’t contain. I put a hand to my mouth and laughed. His eyes widened. The laughter burst out of me and I snorted out loud. He looked astonished, even as his eyes darkened. I found it hilarious.