Surviving Him (14 page)

I hit send. My head hits the pillow and I try to sleep.

I take the bus up to the Trafford Centre the next morning. The weather is crap, but I’m off to meet my old friend, Lee.

Just my fucking luck, it’s pissing down with rain.

I can’t wait to get inside. The place is huge, and it would take me weeks and weeks to shop in every store in here. At least I am dry, not soaked through to the skin.

I walk through the car park toward one of the massive entrances; a glass door that takes me straight through to the perfume aisle in Debenhams. I stop and apply some of the tester perfumes. I walk through the rest of the store, passing the clothes and the stunning shoes, out through the other door that takes me into the middle of the Trafford Centre, where I could see for miles all the hundreds of shops; Heaven in a massive concrete building. Oh yes, I could move in here.

I pull my phone out of my handbag and send a multiple text to Katy, Rose, Vicky, and Mandy
.

I hit send and make my way to Costa Coffee. I could just stop in River Island for a quick look, I think to myself while walking by. I’d better not. I don’t want to keep Lee waiting; I will get totally side-tracked by the shoes and I don’t think he would be too happy about that. I can have a nosy after I’ve caught up with Lee.

I arrive at Costa Coffee and scan the tables for Lee. He is sitting at a corner table near the window playing with his phone. As I approach him he looks up and smiles his all-white smile. he stands and leans in to kiss me on the cheek.

“How you doing, babe?”

He tells me to have a seat and while he orders the coffee.

My phone buzzes in my handbag. I dig it out and see it’s a reply from Katy.

I smile at the screen and reply
.

Lee returns with a skinny vanilla latte for me, and a cappuccino for himself. I study his face; he looks just the same as he always did, just much taller, his build full of muscle.

“How did you end up in Scotland, babe? Of all the places to go to, why go there?”

Good question. Why the fuck did I go to Scotland? Apart from it having stunning scenery, the only reason I give him is my stupid ass ex-husband.

“I met someone, I got married, and he’s a bastard, we broke up.”

His eyes are wide and he analyses me for a minute.

“Yeah, he must be sweet to let you go. Did he treat you right?”

I’m not sure if I should share, but he would learn what happened sooner or later; later would be better but I should just get it over with.

“Erm...” I start but then I stop and take a sip of my latte, wondering where the fucking hell do I start without looking like a complete fool.

“He knocked me about a bit. He is a control freak, a paranoid control freak to be exact. He likes beating women up, violating them, and he doesn’t like being answered back. I wasn’t allowed to do shit like have a phone, have a life. I lost touch with everyone. That’s why you never heard from me.”

“Wow, sweet pea. You should have got a message to me. I could have helped you, got you out of there.”

His eyes glaze over with anger.

“I couldn’t even call my mum. I did leave once, but I didn’t know where any of my friends were. I’ve got away from him now. I’m still on the run, but I’m away from him. My girls and I are finally safe.”

His eyes turn warm but serious.

“What do you mean, you’re still on the run?”

His eyes still locked with mine, he takes my hand in his. I don’t want him worrying about us so I tell him.

“Its ok. Me and the girls are living in a women’s refuge until we can get rehoused. I have to start all over again, but at least I can rebuild my life in some way. I’ve met someone else but I can’t be with him because it’s just not safe for him or us. My ex-husband found us, that’s why we came back here.”

I suck in a big breath after spitting that out all at once. Lee just stares at me, his face kind of hard to read by this point; his eyes have that glaze in them, but he looks away and takes a sip of his cappuccino.

“Fucking hell!”

I look down at my latte and drink some more.

“It’s good to see you, Lee. Are you married? Where do you work?”

His eyes focus on mine again and his hand sweeps through his dark hair.

“Long story.”

“Yeah, well I have time, lots of time.”

I do have a few hours to spare. Lee looks at me like he wants to speak, but can’t find the right words.

“Lee, just tell me what’s been happening with you. It can’t be that bad.”

Can it?

“You have no idea, Dee. Things went shit when you left. My mum and dad got a divorce. Mum moved to fucking London with my sister.”

He sits up straight in his seat, and puts his hands up to rest under his chin.

“I stayed in Manchester with my dad, and I learned how he earned his money.”

Lee was my neighbour as a kid, and I remember his mum and dad as clear as day. I never thought they would split up. They seemed so well together.

“I’m so sorry, Lee. I thought your parents would be together forever. But what do you mean you learned how your dad made his money? He’s a lawyer, isn’t he?”

He always looked smart in a suit and drove around in a nice car, always smiling a huge smile, one like Lee was showing me right now.

“Yeah, babe. He’s what you call in the business; drug running, guns. Wherever the money is, he’s there.”

I try to process what he is telling me, but I struggle. Okay, this is really hard. I know them, yet I really don’t know them at all.

“Your dad’s a gangster? Fucking hell.”

“Yeah, sweetie. I also got in the business, well kind of, not as deep as my dad, but I’m there all the same.”

I hear what he just said but I try to ignore it, so I don’t have to think about one of my oldest friends living that life, as a fucking drug dealer. My mouth drops open, I have to force it shut.

“Oh my god. I don’t know what to say.”

And I don’t. I can’t get my head around it.

“Don’t think any less of me, please, Dee. It’s just the way it is, it’s always meant to be this way. I just didn’t know it growing up, shit happens.”

Hell no. He thinks I think less of him? Was my reaction that bad? I lean towards him and put my hand on his cheek.

“Hey, I don’t give a shit. I just don’t want you or anyone else getting hurt. That’s a dangerous lifestyle, Lee. Even I know that we saw it all around us growing up, even though we didn’t realise just how close to home it really was. As long as you’re safe, that’s all I care about.”

He covers my hand at his cheek with his own. He smiles his big smile at me.

“Thanks, babe. So, what’s this guy’s deal, the one you can’t be with?”

I tell him all about Logan, Amy being his daughter, and the rest of the whole sorry situation in more detail; that I have managed to see Logan a couple of times, and have been able to spend a bit of time with him.

“I can’t be with him, not while all this is going on. Ian just won’t let up, and it’s never ending.”

Lee takes out a multi coloured tin from his jacket pocket, and sets about making himself a massive doobie, which
would knock out the incredible hulk.

“I get that, sweet. He sounds like a right bunny boiler your ex. A total fucking wanker. Anything you need just give me a shout, do you hear me?”

I’m not about to ask him for any help, not when it means him getting into any more trouble.

“I hear you, Lee. Thanks.”

With that Lee stands up, towering over my seat. He leans in and pecks my cheek.

“Got shit to do. Call me or text me whatever you need, anytime, yeah?”

I wonder what kind of shit he is doing.

“Stay safe, Lee.”

I kiss his cheek and then he’s gone. Wow. How can I go shopping now? My head’s minced. I need food. There’s so much choice in here but I need comfort food, I need a burger. After walking around the Trafford Centre, for what seems like hours later, I find somewhere to get my cheeseburger. After refuelling, I decide to shop.

I can’t help it, honestly. I shop until I literally drop. I plonk my ass down on the bed in my room, where I dump the load of shopping bags on the floor. I retrieve my phone out of my handbag and send a group text to Katy, Rose, Mandy, Vicky, Lee, Logan, and my mum, who has Kayleigh and Amy for the night
.

I send another text to my mum.

My phone starts vibrating and beeping continuously, almost jumping out of my hand onto the floor.

Thankfully, I manage to catch it in time before it smashes into a million pieces.

“Bloody phone,” I scold.

I stare at the screen of my phone and scroll down my contacts to call Logan.

“Hey, baby,” he answers on the second ring.

“Hey, you. How you doing? Thanks for the text message, miss you too. Loads.”

His voice is dripping with lust.

“I miss touching that gorgeous body of yours. Believe me.”

Oh wow, a total tummy curling moment.

“You do realise my phone may melt into my ear and slide right off my hand if you keep on talking to me like that through the phone.”

Trying hard not to drop my phone, while talking to a hot Scotsman at the other end, is hard fucking work. Oh my god.

“Is that right, baby? You know you want me right now as much as I want inside you. I want to taste that sweet pussy and lick you dry.”

I hear him chuckle, and my breathing increases.

“What’s funny?”

It isn’t funny. I can’t be getting all hot and bothered and not be able to do anything about it.

“You are funny, beautiful.”

I’m not enjoying this conversation. He knows I can’t resist him, even over the phone.

“I’m not trying to be funny. I...” I pause, thinking how can I possibly get off this topic of conversation? And how I am failing miserably.

“Logan, shit. I’ve got to have drinks with the girls soon. I definitely need a drink, a strong one.”

With that he asks about Kayleigh and Amy. He says he will call my mum to speak to the girls and will call me back later.

Cool ice cubes would be pretty damn good right now, or a fan. I go downstairs to the kitchen to look for the ice cubes in the freezer, when I hear the front door and a whole load of footsteps moving along the hall. The front door slams shut.

“Oh fuck.”

The kitchen door flies open, the volume in the room turning up a few hundred watts.

“What are you doing, girl? Get your head out of that freezer.”

“Got to go, speak soon.”

“Call you later, baby.” I kill the call, look up to see all the girls staring at me wondering what in the hell I am doing with my head stuck in a tiny freezer drawer.

“I was looking for ice,” I say to the four sets of what-the-fuck-are-you-doing stares.

“I bet,” Katy chuckles as she pulls the chair out from under the kitchen table.

“Seriously, it gets so hot in here sometimes.”

I am hot all right; my knickers are absolutely soaking wet, and my nipples are as hard as steel. If I was a guy, I would be covering my nether regions with a pan right now.

“What is it about that guy chick? You is all loved up, you know it we know it. Isn’t it ladies?” Rose says, mostly with her hands more than her words; her finger doing a dance from side to side along with her head that mimics a pigeon. I love her attitude.

“Rose, it’s too complicated it’s not gonna work. I can’t be with the guy. Not gonna happen, ever. End o
f.”

That’s the very sad fucking truth, no matter how much it hurts me.

“Where are the glasses? I need a drink. Anyone else want one?”