Surviving the Pain (A Baby Saved Me Series Book 1) (15 page)

“Well, where the hell did she go?”

“Where’d who go honey?” The main day nurse, Mildred, asked as she walked in with his lunch.

“Uh,” he looked around the room again. “No one.”

He sat down in bed, and she wheeled his lunch over in front of him. Leaving him to eat, he picked at his food. His thoughts were eating at him. He felt it. Grey felt the connection between them. Maybe he was just as wrong about her as he was about Ember.

“If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all,” he grumbled as he took a bite of his tasteless lunch. He was done. He was giving up on relationships. He’d get his bedmate for a night and then just call it good. Grey decided walking into the fire was just not worth it anymore. It sucked because he thought Zea was the woman he’d been searching for his whole life. Once again, he was very wrong.

Ember
left the hospital after seeing Grey, and she felt good. Her friend had found his girl, and he was no longer hung up on her. She wasn’t ruining his life anymore. If she’d just told him then that she didn’t want anyone other than Sage, he might have avoided all this. However, had none of this happened, he might not have ever met his girl. It was kind of a harsh way to look at things, but in the same aspect, it was true. That saying that everything – good and bad – happened for a reason. It truly did.

“You’re smiling like the Cheshire cat from
Alice and Wonderland
right now.”

Beaming up at Sage, she couldn’t contain her happiness. “I have my friend back. He sees what I’ve been telling him all along. The best part being that he has a girl of his own.”

Sage stopped when they reached her car and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I hope that I’m part of the reason for your smile.”

Her smile dropped, and she looked at him seriously. “I know that you want so much more than my trying right now, and I really wish I could give it to you. The thing is that you hurt me badly once. I can’t risk Hudson getting hurt more by me not being cautious.”

Ember watched as his happy face broke, just a little. “I know. Please know that I’d do nothing to hurt you guys. I never meant to hurt you before. Your safety was all I was thinking about. Rufus is not a guy that is crossed.”

This brought back more questions that she’s wondered about since they had their talk before. Looking away for a moment, the questions swirled rapidly in her head. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her phone and called her dad.

“Dad?”

“Hey, how’s Grey doing? I hate not being able to get up there to see him yet.”

“He’s doing much better actually. Better than I thought he’d be doing. Listen, do you mind keeping Hudson for a little while longer. Sage and I need to talk some more, and I would prefer for him not to be around. You know how he picks up everything, even when you think he can’t hear.”

Everett laughed heartily. “Yes, we do. I remember him asking a million question about why Isa needed laid. I swear that girl owed me on that conversation with my grandson.” He laughed again.

“Yes, I know because he came home asking me more questions. I told him he had to ask Aunt Isa about it.” She laughed. “Needless to say, he had me call her and make her come over. Isa doesn’t talk like that around him anymore.”

“He’s a sponge – good, bad, ugly, pretty, he absorbs it all.”

“I know. He’s getting too big,” Ember whispered sadly.

“He really is,” her father sounded equally saddened. “Anyhow, we’ll keep him overnight. He was begging anyway. We told him that you don’t like to let him go so we’d have to ask you. He said ‘tough, she’d learn’ and we laughed about it. We’re going to take him to the water park. Do you mind? So maybe we’d keep him the weekend?”

“Dad, I only need for a few extra…”

“Hey,” he interrupted her. “I want to spend time with my grandson before he gets too old and doesn’t want to do anything with his old papa anymore. Let us have this time, and you take it to figure out what you and Sage are going to do. You know that Hudson is in good hands.”

Sighing, she could feel the tears burning her eyes. “But… what if…”

“He’ll be fine honey. We are aware of the panic attacks and nightmares he still has from the break in. You need to trust us. You need this time with Sage, and we need this time with Hudson.”

“His inhaler and anxiety meds are in his bag,” she relented after a moment’s pause. “Don’t forget to give him the one before he goes to bed or he’ll have his night terrors.”

It killed her to think of her little boy going through so much, but he’s so resilient. They believed that he would bounce back rather quickly when his mind caught up to the fact that the break-in was in the past, and he was safe. Though, Ember personally thought that them still being in that apartment could be causing it to stay around longer. Sadly, though, she had no choice but to stay there. She couldn’t afford anything else. Even if she could, the damn landlord wasn’t letting her out of her lease. She still had three more months left there.

“We know sweetie. Have your chat, get this straight with you, and we’ll see you for supper on Sunday. Sound good?”

“Okay,” she sighed.

After telling her son that he got to spend the whole weekend with her parents and making it through his happy cheers, she said her ‘I love yous’ as did Sage and they hung up. Wiping a tear from her cheek, she hated being away from her son. He’s been her focus since he was in her stomach. So much so, that without him, she was lost. The trip back to her apartment was quiet. Ember was sure that Sage had no idea what to do about her quietly breaking down. Or maybe he understood since he has not wanted to be away from his son since getting here.

As they walked up the stairs to her apartment, he grabbed her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. It was a silent offer of support and understanding, and it made Ember turn her head and smile at him. It was moments like that that she saw her Sage from before he disappeared from her life. These times were when she forgot the pain that she’d gone through and remembered all the love and happiness she had with him. Funny how such a small gesture could give her that reminder, but it did. Somewhere in all the hurt, her heart still longed for the man beside her.

Silently, they entered her apartment. For several long moments, nothing was said. Ember needed to start this, but she didn’t know which question to start with. Wringing her hands in front of her, she looked at her feet and asked the one that screamed louder.

“You keep saying that it wasn’t safe, and that’s why you pushed me away. You’ve said that this Rufus guy is not one to be crossed. So why is now safe? You’ve been here for almost a week. So that means you aren’t doing whatever it is you do for this guy. I just don’t get it.”

He sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him. Slowly – and even a little shyly – she made her way to the sofa and sat down. There was more silence for a moment. She studied his features and watched as he warred within himself as to what he should tell her or shouldn’t. Ember told him then that she wanted only the truth, not half-truths or lies. If he felt the need to give her anything less than the full truth, then he needed to leave. She wasn’t going to stay in a relationship like that.

“Okay,” he breathed. “I’m an MMA fighter for Rufus. I bring him in some damn good money. I’m undefeated, and I’m highly sought after for fights. Everyone wants to bring down the top dog, you know?” He shrugged. “As for Rufus missing me, it’s my off time. I don’t start up workouts again for another two months. He isn’t an issue. To be completely honest with you, I don’t know that I want to stop. I make good money and could give you guys a life you deserve.”

Her head snapped up at that statement. “But you just said…”

“I know what I said, and it’s the truth. However, Rufus figured out that I wasn’t going to be one of the other pussies he’s had try and screw him over. I love to fight. The power I feel when I knock out a man three times my size is… euphoric almost. I’m good at it. I’ve made a name for myself. Everyone knows me. I’m
The
Sage ‘Iron Fists’ Jacobs.”

“Then why has it taken you so long to come back? If he knew you weren’t like the rest…” Ember couldn’t understand why anyone would want to risk their well-being to make money. There were safer, healthier ways to earn money.

“I’ve told you this before Ems. I’ve tried to come back, but either you wouldn’t see me or Grey stopped me. It took me over a year to prove myself and know that it was okay to come back, but by that time, you already hated me. It has been an uphill solo battle since.”

“But there are other ways, safer ways, that you can earn a living Sage.”

“Not like this.” He said simply.

“You have a child and a wife to consider,” she screamed without thinking. It wasn’t until the words she just said registered in her head that her hand flew to her mouth, and she felt her face heat. “I mean you have a child to consider.” Ember corrected herself softly.

“No,” he smiled. “You had it right the first time. Whether I’ve asked or not and whether you’ve said yes or not, that’s how I’ve always viewed you, Ems, long before I left. You’ve always been more than a girlfriend. Truthfully – and you said you wanted complete honesty – when I came here… Hold on a minute.” Sage left the room and went to her room.

Ember had no clue what he was going in there for. He’d followed her in there the other day when she tried to give him the money back and saw that everything he sent was still in the box. He was shocked when she told him that she’d never opened the boxes. Sage refused to take the money back from her. It was his money and she knew that Sage brought nothing with him because he had to go to the store to buy new clothes.

A few moments later, Sage returned to the living room. Without a single warning, he dropped down to one knee and opened the small box that had been in the package he’d sent. Tears filled his eyes as he smiled.

“I’m not expecting a miracle here. I know as I ask this question it will be a no because you’ve made it clear I need to earn back what I destroyed, and that’s fine. I still want to say this, though. See, had you opened this box, you would have found this ring sitting on the inside. It was my first purchase. I had it for a while, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to ask you. When I saw you last, I didn’t know if I’d ever get that chance again. So, I put it in your birthday box and wanted you to know that no matter how much time had passed this was still a future for me. A future that I had still envisioned for us. There were nights that I’d fall asleep thinking about what our wedding would look like, what our future kids would look like. You were all I thought about. But, had you looked in this box, you would have seen the message on the top too…”

He tipped the box back, and she looked inside the lid of the small blue container. Scrawled in Sage’s writing were six words.
I hope to earn this yes.
Ember’s eyes flicked up to meet his. Tears filled her eyes and his form danced in the blurred sight. One tear slipped from her eye and then another. She was stunned silent. Sage truly wanted only her. His love had never died over the years, just as hers hadn’t. They’d merely learned how to survive the pain they’d been thrown into at the time. The big question here was, did she trust him? Did she trust that he’d do all he could to keep her and Hudson his priority over all else as she would them? Looking him in the eyes, she knew, deep in her broken – but healing – heart that he would.

“I know that trust is a hard thing to earn back, but I hope I can. And I hope that when I say, ‘Ember, I love you more than anything in this world. Love is about making unknown dreams come true. Dreams that never end and never fade are where true love lie. You are my dreams, my true love, will you marry me?’ I hope one day that the answer will be…”

“Yes,” she breathed, tears falling mercilessly down her cheeks.

“Yeah, I want that answer. Maybe just like that too,” he smiled sadly.

“No, Sage. I’m answering. There’s one thing you’ve taught me – and my parents – is that there comes a time when decisions need thought and when they need gut instincts. This is a gut instinct one, in my opinion. My answer is yes. I will marry you.”

Sage sat there with his mouth gaped open and his eyes wide. It was a comical sight, and Ember couldn’t stop the laughter from bubbling over. The truth was Ember wasn’t fully sure this wasn’t going to bite her in the ass later on. At the same time, she felt like this was the right decision to make. When Sage still didn’t say anything – or even move a muscle or blink – she rambled on before her insecurities stopped her from making a decision she knew was the right one to make.

“I want a real wedding, though. I want all our friends there. I don’t know if you have any friends from your life for the past five years, but if you do, I’m sure you’d want them there too. Hudson needs to be involved too.”

Shaking his head, he finally blinked. “You’re serious.”

“Yes,” she smirked. “Seems I’m saying that a lot in the last few minutes and I’m not getting anything out of you.” Ember couldn’t help but tease him. He looked so… so… lost right now.

“Don’t…” he choked on his emotions. “Please don’t play with me, Ems.”

Her smile fell at his words. Sliding down to the floor, she faced him, eye to eye. “I’d never play on this, Sage.”