Surviving the Pain (A Baby Saved Me Series Book 1) (18 page)

“Is Ember okay?  Oh, God, is Hudson okay?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I didn’t mean to freak ya out. I actually came with the hopes that you and Holden might be willing to help me with something.”

He let out a huge breath, of what Sage assumed to be relief, before punching him in the shoulder. “Don’t fucking do that shit again. Damn! I’m too young to have a heart attack,” he said as he clutched his chest. “You know that girl is my family.”

“Sorry,” Sage apologized again with a chuckle.

The guys had gotten really close since his return to Ember’s life. They were a great couple of guys and Sage was so glad that they were watching over his girl when he couldn’t. Of course, they didn’t just let him off the hook that easy. He was glad they hadn’t. Now, however, they were all a pretty damn tight knit group.

“Come on in dude. I’ll go wake up jackass. Have a seat in the living room.”

Sage walked down the short entry hallway and turned in the direction that Aspen pointed as he headed in the opposite direction. He was stunned for a moment at how neat and organized everything seemed to be. Here he’d thought that they would live that typical bachelor lifestyle, but he was dead wrong.

“What’s up man,” Holden came in rubbing his eyes, giving Sage a half hug, half back slap. “I wasn’t sure if we’d hear from you this week since it’s Hudson’s birthday week.”

Fidgeting with his keys, he couldn’t meet their eyes. “I know. I, uh, well…”

Aspen sat in the armchair that sat in the corner of the room next to the couch. “Well, if you came here to discuss a stuttering problem we might be able to tell you that you have one. If it’s something else, you need to s-s-s-spit it out, man.” He joked with Sage as if sensing his unease.

Sage collapsed onto the couch with a loud sigh of frustration. Holden sat on the love seat that sat on the opposite side of the arm chair. In the center was a glass coffee table on top of an area rug. For being two dudes that lived here, it was quite stylish.

“Why are you guys even friends with me?”

“Because they trust Ember and me,” Grey said from the doorway causing Sage’s head to pop up. “You aren’t perfect, and neither are we, but you’re trying to make up for what you’ve caused. We’re here to give you the benefit of the doubt.” He spoke as he walked to the couch and taking his position at the end.

“Grey, man, I don’t even understand why
you
still hang around me.”

“I do because of Ember.” He paused for a moment. “And because you were and are one of my best friends. Yeah, we both fell for the same girl, and I got a little…”

“Jealous?” Aspen piped in.

“Crazy?” Holden said at the same time.

They all chuckled for a moment. Each of their laughs were nothing short of a sarcastic type of laugh. None of them thought of him that way – well other than maybe the jealous comment – but he did lose himself for a while. It wasn’t Grey who got drunk and tried to take something that wasn’t his. They all knew that, but even now a few weeks after it all went down and he was still unsure of how everyone would be toward him. Honestly, Sage thought that he was waiting for Ember’s rage, her hatred toward him for what he did, but she’ll never give it. Even she knew that he wasn’t himself.

“I’ll give you those,” he tried to chuckle to hide the sadness in his voice, but failed. “Ember has always been a huge part of who I was and what motivated me,” he said softly as he looked Sage in the eyes. “When she told me that I wasn’t good enough for her – no she didn’t use those exact words, but that’s how I took it – I wanted to show her that I was more than enough for her, that she didn’t need you. Everything I did – it didn’t matter what it was – reminded her of you. Do you know how bad that hurt? I loved her, and she only saw you… never me.”

Sage sat up slowly and turned to fully face Grey. He could see, out of the corner of his eye, the guys tense. His guess was that they were ready to break Sage off Grey if need be. None of these guys knew how lethal Sage was when fighting. Or at least they’ve yet to let on that they did anyhow.

“As I told you before,” Sage started, trying to keep calm. He owed this man a lot. Sage also knew the pain that Grey went through. Moreover, he understood it completely. “You need to stop torturing yourself like this. But just so we’re clear here, I know exactly how you feel. From my spot on the sidelines over the years and you telling me how happy you two were… I had to watch you kiss the woman I loved and vowed a forever to so long ago. Yeah, I fucked up, but when I could come back to her, you told me to back off that you two were happy, and she hadn’t been happy for so long. Then don’t even get me started about the park. My job prevented me – temporarily – from coming back right away. It would have put her in so much danger. I just couldn’t put her in harm’s way.”

Holden cleared his throat and sat forward a little more on the loveseat. “I don’t mean to get nosey, but what kind of job did/do you have that could put Ember at risk.”

There it was. He knew it was only a matter of time before they asked it. Still, it worried him that when he told them, their views of him would change. When he told Ember’s parents, Sage could see the fear in their eyes when they heard who he worked for. All Sage could do was hope that they believed him that Rufus really wasn’t as bad as his reputation made him out to be. Yes, he was shady. Rufus didn’t do things by the book and earned a hell of a lot of money that way. Yes, he has been at the head of some murders. But if you were just someone like Sage, you were just a way to legalize the money you earned illegally. Sage hadn’t done anything against the law in the five years he’d worked for Rufus.

Of course, that didn’t mean that he was a pushover. Quite the opposite. He was a force to be reckoned with. Maybe that was why Rufus took him under his wing the way he did. Maybe he saw something that reminded Rufus of himself. Sage wasn’t too sure, but regardless, he had done nothing to him over the years. When Demon’s crew was after him for winning a fight, Rufus was there making sure that he was safe and anything and everyone he held dear. Having a man on your side like Rufus, well, it made you feel a bit better about your safety, or that of your loved ones.

“I am an MMA fighter. I fight for Rufus Tortelli.” Sage stopped there. He waited for the news to sink in and the realization dawned on them. Holden was the first one to realize who he was referring to.

“What the fuck! You’re kidding us right now, right? You can’t possibly be a part of that sick fuck’s crew!”

“No, I’m not kidding. I’ve worked for him for five years. It was the reason that I pushed Ember away when she found me. I had to. The ‘Rufus’ then would have definitely hurt her to keep me in line. However, who he is now, is completely different. I’m not doing anything illegal, nor am I involved in that aspect. Yes, I know he can be a shady character, but he’s saved my ass too many times to doubt him. He could have let me die when Demon’s crew came after me for just knocking the ever living piss out of their ‘best’ fighter. Rufus didn’t though.”

Aspen snorted. “Yeah, because you were his money! You can’t be that stupid Sage.”

“I’m not an idiot,” he said getting defensive of the man that had grown to be like a father figure to him over the years. “He doesn’t do things the right way, and he’s not a passive kind of guy, but he saved me. When we finally had things covered for the danger, and I knew who he was, Rufus is the one that helped me find Ember. Look, I’m not asking you to understand this. You don’t have to, and I don’t need your approval for this. Ember understands and so do her parents, that’s all I need.”

“Okay,” Grey let out a big breath. “Fine, we won’t question you anymore on that. We’ll keep our opinions to ourselves… for now. Know this, though. If anything happens to Ember or Hudson…”

Sage rose to his feet and glared down at Grey. “Don’t you dare tell me fucking anything about my son or my woman. They are mine, and I’ll keep them safe no matter what happens. They are my world. Not yours Matthews, remember that.”

Grey, now, rose to his feet and returned Sage’s glare with his own. “Yeah, I know who they are to you, but do you?”

Standing toe to toe, nose to nose with him now, Sage hissed, threateningly. “What the fuck do you mean by that asshole?”

“You seem to go on convenience,
brother
,” Grey hissed back unaffected by Sage’s rising temper.

Sage swung and punched Grey hard in the chin. He stumbled backwards a few steps, almost falling on Aspen before he recovered. Holden stood to come in between them, but one look from Sage had him raising his hands and stepping backwards in a silent surrender.

“You know, every fucking time, I try to give you the benefit of the doubt, you say something that makes me wonder exactly what kind of person you are. You aren’t the guy I grew up with, that I trusted to watch out for my heart while I was away. If you want to keep making me pay for my past mistakes, I can make you pay for yours. I may have slept around over the five years that I couldn’t have my woman, but I never forced myself on a woman. I’ve never left marks on a woman!” Sage ranted angrily. “But until this very fucking moment, I’ve never thrown that in your face. Have I? Yet, every time I turn the fuck around, you are throwing in my face that I wasn’t here for the past five years! Yeah! I get it! But you were half the reason I wasn’t here for so long!”

“What do you mean that Grey was half the reason it had taken you so long to be back here?” Aspen asked confused.

Sage just glared at Grey and cocked his eyebrow at him. If Grey wanted to continue to punish him for the past, he was going to make him confess
his
mistakes and own them. Sage may have kicked Ember out of the bar that day – for her safety – but he didn’t keep her from being happy. He didn’t stop the things that would bring her happiness. Sage sure as shit didn’t wet his dick in his best friend’s woman either.

He wasn’t sure how long he stared at Grey expectantly, but eventually, he finally sighed. His whole body sagged in defeat. Sage knew he shouldn’t find a bit of enjoyment in his defeated friend, but he did. Grey was his friend, but right now, he was being a prick. He’s not afraid to put someone in their place. Friend or not.

“Sage had come back for Ember about a year after he left. I told him then that she didn’t want him and that he’d only further upset her if he tried to find her again. Then when he came back a second time, I told him that Ember and I were together, and we were happy. We weren’t together then, but I wanted to be. I knew if Sage came around, I’d never have my chance. He came back several times after that and I told him that she was happy with me and was finally smiling and living, said that if he loved her at all, he’d give her that.” Grey looked at everyone before returning to him where his gaze stayed on Sage as he spoke again. “I loved her. Honestly, I thought if you were out of the picture long enough, she’d realize how much she loved me too.” His voice was sad, broken even.

There was a long stretch of silence that filled the room. He’d come over here with good intentions and then suddenly things turned ugly in a matter of minutes. Grey told us he’d moved on, or well past it. He said he’d met a woman, but by what just happened, I’d say he was far from over it all. Grey loved Ember and Sage wanted to hate him for it. As a man that loved her with everything he had, he understood Grey’s addiction to her – that sounded creepy, but it was true. Sage knew he had to stop this constant hate bashing each other. Yes, we loved the same woman. Thankfully – even though this sounded bad too – she loved only him in return. That didn’t mean he was blind to the pain that his friend was feeling.

“That is so fucked up, G. Wow,” Aspen said as he stepped away from him. “If I were in Sage’s shoes, I’d beat you to a bloody pulp. How can you even call yourself a friend to Ember when you have been half the reason she’s been hurting?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Grey started to argue, but was cut off by Holden.

“That’s exactly what the fuck it is!” He roared. “You bastard! You’ve thought of only yourself. You’re a selfish prick, you know that? You’ve sat here and watched her suffer. Hell, you made us believe that Sage was some kind of self-centered, lying douche and the whole time you were describing yourself. Do you know how many times I’d been to her house, and she’d break down on me? Or what about when her apartment was broken into, and they had gone in Hudson’s room? She called me scared from her fucking closet, where she hid her and Hudson. She’s lived in that fucking hellhole, miserable and always feeling like her life was falling apart. Here, she could have been happier sooner if it hadn’t been for you and only thinking of your-fucking-self!”

Damn
, Sage thought.
He just said everything that I had thought not long ago.
Sage’s gut tightened at the thought of all she’d been through over the years without him there to protect her. That was something he always reassured her he’d do, and he failed. He failed her for so long and yet she still agreed to marry him. How the hell did he get that lucky?

“That’s not how it was at all. I loved her. I thought I was doing the right thing,” Grey protested weakly.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Sage was done with this topic. “I know why he did what he did. Might even understand it – kind of. The past is what it is, we can’t change it. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere unless they come with me. It’s us three against the world. Period. Now, I came here for a reason, you know?”

There was a long, tense, silent moment before the other three men finally nodded their heads and they all returned to the seats they had occupied before the fighting started. Sage may never fully understand what was going through Grey’s mind. Why he’d love a girl that never returned it, but that wasn’t for him to understand. That was for Grey to get and if it made sense to him, then Sage was going to have to learn to handle it. He loved Ember. Ember was very easy to love. Having someone else around that cared so much for her, may not be a bad thing.