Read Surviving the Pain (A Baby Saved Me Series Book 1) Online
Authors: P. J. Belden
“I’ll be with you soon, my love.”
“No!” Ember screamed. “No! Sage! Damn it,” she huffed as she tried to remember what button it was that unlocked the door for her to be able to get out and go to him. Finally, a click filled the eerily, silent room. Quickly, she grabbed the handle. Just as she turned the knob, the sound of gun fire caused her to choke on her next breath. Hudson screamed, but right now, Hudson was safe. Ember wasn’t so sure that her heart was. In fact, she was pretty confident it was long gone.
“Stay in here,” she yelled at her son to be heard over his screams. Flinging the door open, she stepped out into the once immaculate space. Hell, she wasn’t even sure that there was a speck of dust on any surface when they’d led her into this room. Everything had a place, and it was sure to be in that exact place every time it was put away. Honestly, for the kind of ‘business’ Rufus had been – and still was to a point – associated with, it was the last thing that she’d expect to see. However, the precisely set room was not what she saw right now.
At that moment, papers were everywhere, his desk was where one of the bookcases used to be and the bookcases were all knocked over, the contents spilled and piled on the ground as if it had experienced a tornado. But what drew her focus was the smell of recent gunfire. Her eyes swept the mess before her until she landed on Sage. He sat – still – on his knees staring toward the door. That’s when she noticed Creighton standing there in the doorway. Sage’s glare was petrifying – to say the least.
“You mother fucker,” Sage roared, climbing to his feet. “Why and the fuck did you stop…”
Ember could see the murderous look on his face and knew she needed to do something to stop this. So, she did the only thing that she could – that Ember thought would help –, and she stepped forward, and as calmly as Ember could, she called for him.
“Sage,” her voice was soft, but it was thick from unshed tears.
Sage threw his hands to his ears screaming. “Stop it! I failed you! I failed both of you!”
Tentatively, she stepped forward even as Rufus shook his head. She called his name again. Tears fell down her cheeks faster as she watched him fall to his knees crying. The agony in his voice as he pleaded with her ‘spirit’ to leave him alone broke her apart even more. Still she forced herself to step closer to him. With each careful, cautious step, she repeated his name. When she could get no closer, she reached a shaky hand out and placed it on his shoulder.
“Sage,” her voice cracked from the pain that he’d been put through.
Whirling around, Sage fell to his butt and stared at her in what almost looked like horror. With each passing second, he continued to stare at her and a bit of her hope died at her feet. Kneeling down in front of him, she rested her hands on her knees.
“Sage, please talk. I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through. I love you so mu…”
He made an almost choking sound cutting her off. Reaching out for him, he recoiled back from her. In just that single motion, Ember dropped her head to her hands and started to weep.
“You’ve been alive all this time? You’ve been… What about Hudson? Is my son alive too?”
Ember looked up at him with watery eyes and nodded her head. “He’s in that room back there. He’s doing better. They believe with a lot of work, he’ll be back to our little boy in no time.” She tried to smile.
He stood suddenly after several moments of staring at her. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m sure you and Hudson will have a great life.”
“Sage,” she cried out his name as she stood to reach for him. “Please, you must understand…”
“Understand what?” He hissed. “Understand that the two people that I love more than my own life, have been alive this whole time I’ve been dying slowly. How am I supposed to understand that?”
“If you’d…”
He held up his hand and glared at her with eyes so cold that she froze in spot. “You got your payback, Ems. You have destroyed my world and all I have ever thought I’d have. Just as I assumed, I did for you all those years ago. Only this time…” he stood taller and his glare hardened further. “Have a good life Ember. Tell my son I love him. ” He turned and shoved past Creighton and left the room.
Ember broke down and fell back down to her knees. She never got to explain anything to him. She thought at the very least he’d let her do that. That he would want answers. If he had listened to why she agreed to pretend to be dead, he’d see the reasoning and understand. But he didn’t even give her the chance to say more than a meek apology. Yes, she knew that he’d be mad finding out that they’d been alive all this time, but she thought for sure her love for him was enough.
“He didn’t even listen to me,” she cried. “He hates me. I told you he’d hate me.” Her body jerked with each broken plea left her lungs. “Please forgive me. Please. God, please forgive me.”
“I know it’s hard to see right now,” Rufus said sitting next to her. “But he’ll realize what actually happened here. He’s just in shock right now. You and Hudson are his life. He won’t stay mad long.”
She looked up at Rufus then. “You didn’t see his eyes. I know Sage better than I know myself. He isn’t going to forgive this one. He isn’t. I know it.”
“I’ll talk to him, Emmy. I’ll tell him everything. It’s my fault this has gotten to this point. I wanted to save my son as well as you and my grandbaby. I guess I just went about it the wrong way.” Rufus said dejectedly.
Please, Sage, please forgive me.
Sage
sat on a park bench and stared out at all the kids playing. Their laughter both warmed his heart and broke it at the same time. He missed his family. He missed his son. But Sage couldn’t let go of the betrayal of being left to believe his world had ended. In his mind, there was no justification for it. None. Still, even though he knew this – and he reminded himself of it often – over the past two months, he couldn’t stop himself from missing them. Hudson was everything he dreamed he’d wanted in a son and so much more. It was uncanny how much they looked alike.
Then there was Ember. Ember held his heart in her hands from the minute she started to point out his bullshit. Something about how she’d never back down from him eventually led to the love of a lifetime. But then somewhere in there, she developed a pension for lying. He still remembered the look of devastation on her face when he’d told her off for lying to him. Sage was angry. No, it was beyond that. It was rage. For a whole month – a whole fucking month – he was made to believe that there was nothing left for him in the world. That he’d just said goodbye to the very beings that gave him reasons to try every day.
In his fit of rage, he stopped by her parents’ house to find out if they knew she was alive. Sickeningly enough, it was comforting to know that they too had been kept in the dark. Everett even understood the anger that coursed through him even still now – just not as strong as that day. From what Sage had got from her parents, the only ones that knew the truth were his family as well as Holden and Aspen. Grey didn’t even know. It was that moment that Sage had realized that he hadn’t seen Grey since that day in the hospital.
When Sage went to Grey’s apartment, it was in shambles. It wasn’t until he maneuvered through the mess room by room, that he found Grey on his bed face down. Next to him was a letter. Basically, the letter had said how much he loved her and would see her again soon. He also said on there that they’d been robbed of their forever, but he’d have eternity. Thankfully, there was a weak pulse, and he’d called the ambulance, and they’d rushed him to the hospital. The cops and Sage had looked everywhere for how he tried to kill himself, but they couldn’t find anything.
Grey still hadn’t woke from his coma, but when he did Sage was ready to see what the hell he was thinking. Since the first day they’d met, they’d been inseparable. He couldn’t blame Grey for loving Ember. She was impossible not to love. However, he could blame him for what he’d done in keeping him away from her.
Sage has spent a lot of time next to his bed, talking to the form that was his best friend, hoping against hope that he could hear him and he was fighting. Of course, the first thing he told him was that Ember and Hudson were still alive. Sadly, Sage couldn’t leave off his anger at that knowledge. Sage wanted someone to pay for the pain he was in, but at the same time, it put a whole new perspective for how Sage had left her without a warning.
Shaking his head, he looked around waiting for Everett to show up. Everett called and asked to meet with him, but wanted to do it without Kimberly knowing. Apparently, she’d told him that he needed to stay out of things. So, here he sat on a bench at what was his son’s favorite park remembering the trips they made here. His heart had never hung as heavy as it did when he thought about the time he lost with his son because Sage thought he was protecting Ember.
“Dad?”
Sage’s head snapped to the side and met identical eyes to his own. His chest rose on a deep breath as he watched his little boy wheel himself over to meet him. It was then that he’d realized the lack of an adult with him. His face turned from shock to stern.
“Hudson, why are you here alone?”
“I’m not. Grandpa brought me. I begged him to help me so I could talk to you.”
Standing, Sage pushed Hudson’s chair further away from the crowded park and to a more off the beaten path section that had a little beat up bench. Once his son’s chair was secure, Sage took a seat on the bench and looked at him.
“How are you doing, buddy?”
“I’m doing better. I can stand on my legs for small bits at a time. Greenlee says it won’t be long before I’m back on my feet if I keep this up.” His smile was so big and bright that Sage couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face too.
“I’m so proud of you,” he said softly and felt the tears building in his eyes.
“You know I came here for a reason, right?”
Nodding his head, Sage took another deep breath and looked away from his son. “I kind of figured. What does your mom want me to hear?”
It was Hudson’s turn to take a shuddered breath. “Mom didn’t want me to come near you.”
Sage’s head snapped back in his son’s direction. Ember didn’t want his son talking to him? What the hell is up with that? “You’ve got to be kidding me?” He muttered.
Shaking his head, he looked down at his lap. “No, she said that the pain that she felt now is what she deserves for lying to you on something like this. But you have to know she had no other choice.” He urged.
Skepticism filled him as he stared at his son with a ‘yeah right’ look on his face. Still he couldn’t help but be curious about why they felt she had no choice. Sage would have done anything. Why tell him it was going to be a plan and then make him believe she was dead. Not just her either, but his son too. Taking Sage’s silence as a reason to push forward, he began talking rapidly.
“Mom had gotten a letter. It was delivered to the hospital. You were away looking into something with Uncle Crazy and the others. Grandpa had come in to check to make sure she was okay since you weren’t there. Mom had been crying. They won’t tell me what it said, but Mom said that they were coming after what she held dearest.”
“You,” Sage breathed.
“No. You.”
“What?” He was beyond confused at this point. Sage was no fool. He knew how much Ember cared about Hudson and she should. That was her son, her baby. “I don’t get it.”
“They considered me dead already I guess.” He shrugged not understanding fully what was going on. There were times that Hudson was smart beyond his years and then there were others when the reminder smacked you in the face.
“It still doesn’t make sense. How does faking her – and your – death help out at all? If anything it left me more exposed.” He was saying this more to himself than to his son, but his son explained anyway.
“Rufus came up with the plan. It put you in the spotlight, but it also brought… Uh, how did he say it? Oh! Yeah! The bugs out of the walls. Mom can explain this better if you’d give her a chance. I don’t know it all. I think everyone has suffered enough. I want my family back. I miss how close we all were. Please, Daddy, please at least talk to Mom and hear her out. If you would rather we not exist to you after that, then fine.”
“Oh, son…”
“Please,” Hudson begged. “For me if nothing else.”
Sighing, Sage nodded his head. “Fine. I’ll go talk to your mom. I assume that Grandpa is still waiting for you?”