Sushi for One? (30 page)

THIRTY-SIX

I
f she ever got married, she was eloping.

Lex staggered into the Pagoda Bridge Restaurant behind Mariko’s giggling bridesmaids. Four hours on her feet, standing next to Squawking Tiki — thank goodness Mariko stuck Lex on the end of the line — was as joyful an experience as getting her tooth drawn. Without Novocain.

At least the actual wedding will only take an hour.
With the rehearsal finally behind her, she could find Oliver, sit down for the first time in four hours, and enjoy a very expensive rehearsal dinner meal paid for by Grandma.

One more week, and this torturous stint as bridesmaid would be done. If only the wedding were tomorrow instead of next week Saturday. Mariko had insisted on Pagoda Bridge for her rehearsal dinner, and it hadn’t been available the Friday before the wedding.

Venus found her first. “You’re not going to like this.”

“What — Mariko sat me with Uncle Fitz and I have to feed him?”

“Worse. You’re with Trish and Jenn, and I’m at a different table.”

Lex closed her eyes as a headache exploded behind her eyeballs.

“Maybe I’ll grab Oliver and we’ll leave early.”

“Too late, he started eating. It gets worse.”

“How can it possibly get worse?”

“Mimi’s here — ”

“Hey, I get along with Mimi now. Sort of.”

“She brought Aiden as her date.”

Ugh. It had gotten much, much worse. Suddenly Trish and Jenn didn’t seem so bad. “Has Aiden met — ”

Venus nodded. “Too late. They’re at the same table.”

That’s just great.
Lex couldn’t even enjoy her food because she’d be trying to enjoy her time with one guy when she’d rather be with the other, whom she’d avoided for a week, who wasn’t an option because he wasn’t Christian, even though she’d dreamed about kissing him every night for the past five days.

Lex hated round tables. Her seat was squished between Oliver, digging into his eggrolls with gusto, and Aiden, chatting amiably with Mimi, the little tart.

Lex sat, smiling at Oliver and refusing to even glance at Aiden or Mimi. Luckily, Trish and Jenn — both dateless — also seemed to be avoiding her eyes.

“Hey, Lex.” Oliver passed her an eggroll. “And try the pot stickers — they taste just like my grandma’s.”

Grandma then strolled past their table, the grande dame, overseeing her grande feast. First, she bestowed warm smiles on the uncle and aunty who filled out the eight-person table. Then she gave gracious smiles to Jenn and Trish, who returned with weak grimaces. Grandma gave a strained smile to Mimi, probably because of Mimi’s fire-engine-red, skintight blouse, which plunged into her cleavage.

Grandma’s brow wrinkled as she gave Aiden a polite nod. She skipped over Lex — no surprise there — and eyed Oliver with curiosity. Then she moved on.

Lex released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

She wondered if Grandma would pull funding just to spite her, despite Oliver’s presence. If they started dating seriously, he’d help her with funding if Grandma pulled out, right? And he wasn’t exactly difficult to like.

On a separate table, the waiters laid out dessert — little squares of heavily iced cake. When Mimi hopped up to get a plate, Lex followed her.

“Hey. I didn’t know you knew Aiden.” Had Lex’s voice come across as plaintive? Jealous? Snipey?

Apparently. Mimi gave Lex an arch glance before she scanned the cake slices. “Don’t you remember? I met him when I came to your apartment right after the surgery.”

Oh, when Lex was miserable and on her back? Her memory was a little fuzzy. Or maybe her mind tried to block out the memories of that time.

Mimi stuck her finger into the icing on a piece and licked it.

“Yeah, he and I have been emailing.” She picked up a different piece of cake. “Don’t you think he’s cute?” She flounced away.

Cute? What would be cute would be that cake plastered all over her snide little face. Cute.

Aiden wasn’t cute. He was a lying, weaselly, sneaky, overbearing, rat fink cockroach. Whom she’d been dreaming about kissing.

“Lex.” Trish crept up from behind her. She tucked a lank strand of hair behind her ear. As she scanned the pieces of cake, the restaurant’s lighting made the bags under her eyes look larger than used Liptons.

She blinked rapidly and cast nervous glances at Lex.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Lex didn’t dull the edge of her tone.

“We broke up.” The noise from the party almost drowned Trish’s voice.

“That’s too bad.” She tried — she really did — to keep the sarcasm from her tone, but she failed miserably.

Trish went on the defensive. “You’re all superior now because you have a man and I don’t. Well, I’m fine being single, while you were desperate trying to find someone who didn’t think you were too weird to hang out with.”

Lex flared her nostrils. “I searched for a guy who would respect me rather than telling me when to go to church, when to spend time with my friends — ”

Trish gave a sob and ran out of the reception room, flinging open the women’s restroom door. At the table, Jenn saw her flee and gave Lex a reproachful look. She got up to follow Trish.

Lex had to get out of here. She turned in the opposite direction and saw the glass doors leading out to the Japanese garden in back of the restaurant.

The night air cooled her skin but not her temper. She marched down the path toward the bridge that spanned the
koi
pond, swatting at fern fronds in her way.

A chill emanated from the stone bridge. Lex shivered but climbed the arch to stand in the middle.

“Lex.”

At first she thought it was Aiden. No, Oliver. “I saw you fight with that girl and then head out here. I thought you might like company.”

Not really, but he’d been very sensitive to notice. Why couldn’t Lex appreciate him more? Why couldn’t she feel more for him?

Oliver came to stand close. His hand brushed her arm. “You’re cold.” He removed his sports jacket and set it over her shoulders.

Aw, how considerate. But then he wrapped his arm around her waist.

Lex took a deep breath to force her muscles to relax. This wasn’t a smart idea. The darkness, the intimacy. She usually didn’t put herself in situations like this.

But this was Oliver. Potential boyfriend and/or volleyball sponsor.

She’d already let him kiss her. This was nothing, right?

She couldn’t get herself to relax.

Oliver misinterpreted Lex’s tension, pulling her closer and turning her to face him. His mouth came down on hers.

It wasn’t too bad a kiss — a little harder than she’d like. His hands kneaded her sides — that, too, was a little harder than she’d like. They moved up, higher than she was comfortable with. She tried to push them down, but her hands skidded over his knuckles. He drew her closer than she wanted to be.

He deepened the kiss, his breath harsh against her skin. No, she didn’t like this. Her skin crawled — too much touching. She didn’t want to be touched anymore. This was too difficult for her. She wasn’t ready. She broke the kiss. “No, Oliver.”

He smashed his mouth against her again. She twisted her head and pushed him away. “No.”

“Oh, baby.” He rammed her against the stone railing and wrapped his body around her.

He had trapped her. He touched her all over. She struggled, but it seemed to enflame him more. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the railing.

“No, Oliver!”

“You can’t just lead me on.” He pressed closer, suffocating her.

Oh, God. God, help me.
She cringed inside herself, transported back eight years, but only for a moment. Only for a moment.

She reacted automatically. She slammed her heel down hard on his instep. When he took a step back and bent over, she kicked her knee up and broke his nose. She shoved him away.

Lex staggered down the bridge and turned left toward the gate out of the garden, into the parking lot. She rammed into the gate, fumbled with the latch. She tugged it open and stumbled out.

She didn’t expect the cracked cement steps. Her foot twisted. Her back twisted. Her knee twisted — her right knee.

Pop.

A burst of pain, like a water balloon exploding in her knee joint.

No.

Nononononono.

No, God.

No, please, no.

Please, no.

Lex grabbed her bent leg and clawed at her knee as if she could stop the swelling rushing into the joint, as if she could reach in and repair the ligament. As if she could undo what she’d done.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Screaming. She was screaming without a sound. She couldn’t see.

Tears made the darkness into a melded blur. The pain faded, leaving a narrow ache under the skin.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Lex, I’m right here.

Her chest collapsed. The aching rushed past her tight throat, flowed out of her nose, her eyes. Her mouth opened wide, the cries pouring out of her.

Oh, God, where did she go wrong? Why was this happening to her? She was so tired. She was so tired.

Rest.

And suddenly she felt arms around her, and she was held.

The roaring in her ears died to a whisper, like wisteria brushing against a window screen. Her heart pulsed, squeezed tight, and then released. Warmth spread from her chest, over her arms, into her belly.

She looked up through watery eyes. There was no one, but she still felt arms holding her. A hand settled on her head. She closed her eyes.

Hot tears fell onto her knee and dribbled down her leg. The gravel bit into her butt. Crickets screeched. A breeze wicked away tears and cooled her face.

She heard sandals crunching the gravel, getting closer.

“Lex.”

She looked up. Mimi’s face in front of her. No, not Mimi. Not Mimi. Where was Venus? Trish? Jenn?

“I’ll get Venus.” Gone, Mimi had gone.
No, come back. Don’t leave me alone.

Lex wasn’t alone. The arms still held her.

“Lex!”

Mimi had brought her three cousins. Venus ran up to her, saw her hands around her knee. “Oh, no. Oh, God.” A whisper, a prayer. She touched Lex’s shoulder.

Lex flinched violently. Her skin had become painful, like a sunburn.
No, don’t touch me.

“Lex, what’s wrong?” Venus’s hand hovered over her.

Trish pulled Venus’s hand away and turned to Mimi. “Get Aiden.”

“Why Aiden?”

Trish held Lex’s numb gaze. “He’s her therapist. He’s been touching her for weeks. It has to be Aiden.”

Jenn knelt in front of Lex. She sat there, breathing her air, staying close. Trish whispered something to Venus.

Who cares if they know about the rape?
Even thinking the word made her shiver.
It happened years ago. It doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters.

Their whispers reached her. “How do you know that’s what happened now?”

Trish’s answer was fierce. “Put two and two together. Oliver followed her out here but came back alone. Lex ran hard enough to hurt herself, and she doesn’t want anyone to touch her now, even us. It’s just like before.”

Before. Lex couldn’t remember before.

Jenn shifted in the gravel. It must be puncturing her bare legs. She leaned close. Then Lex realized she was praying.

Lex suddenly felt safe.

The crunch of more gravel. A deep voice — a male voice. “What happened?”

Trish whispering. “About eight years ago . . .”

No reply.

Lex’s muscles locked, rock hard. Her shoulders started quivering.

She had a hard time breathing.

Then Jenn backed away. A shadow over her. She curled up.

“Lex. I’m going to carry you to my car.” Aiden’s voice. Gentle.

Soothing. But she couldn’t relax.

Then he bent in closer, and she smelled it. Soap, fir, and a thread of musk. She remembered that smell. She remembered the soft pressure of his hands, easing the pain away.

His hand touched her back. Another arm under her leg. The smell filled her lungs, wrapped around her. Her back muscles loosened.

“Arm around my neck, Lex.” She complied and smelled a stronger whiff of fir and musk. Like a sedative, it worked into her body, into her muscles, untangling the tension.

He lifted her up, and pieces of gravel fell away from impressions molded into her skin. He bounced her a little, adjusted his grip, wrapped his arms more firmly around her. Then he walked through the forest of cars.

She closed her eyes and breathed.

Aiden took her to his car, followed by her cousins. He clicked in her seatbelt.

Venus, Trish, Mimi, and Jennifer gathered around the open passenger door.

“Aiden, take her to her dad’s place.”

Yes, Lex wanted Daddy.

“I’ll find her dad and her brother.” Mimi darted away.

“What about Grandma?” Trish frowned. “I don’t want her asking questions.”

“I’ll take care of Grandma.” Jennifer straightened. Lex noticed the stronger line in her back, and her eyes met Trish squarely rather than flickering around.

“What about . . .” Trish’s mouth pulled into a tight line.

Venus’s eyes glittered like a dragon’s. “I’ll tell Richard. He’ll want to know.”

“Let’s go.” Trish climbed into Aiden’s backseat.

Trish directed him to Dad’s apartment. Dad and Mary arrived a minute after they did. Aiden carried Lex into the living room and laid her on the couch.

Her father had aged, with lines crossing his mouth, his hands.

He sat on the couch with Lex, not saying anything. Lex heard Mary murmuring, and then it was just her and Dad. He didn’t touch her.

He hadn’t touched her then, either.

After the first attack, she’d sat, face hard like a porcelain
Noh
mask, her body a mass of rubber bands stretched to screaming tautness. She had spoken in monosyllables, and she hadn’t wanted anyone to touch her.

This time, it was different. It could have been worse. She bit her lip.

Dad shifted on the couch. Then he reached out and touched her finger.

She moved her hand forward and clasped his hand.