Suspended (34 page)

Dawn drove Shane from his bed. The mix of lavender and
vanilla in the room should have been too fussy and female, but he’d slept
deeply and dreamlessly.

Kendall had said the inside of the B and B was finished and well
preserved, and she’d been right. He wandered through each room before going
downstairs to find the coffeepot. Instead of lingering for breakfast, he
escaped to the property and found his supplies in the barn.

He’d backed his truck up beside the faded structure and
immediately tackled the tangle of orders as well as the packaging from the
moving company. For hours he got lost in the organization of the barn, in
carving a space for himself within the dumping grounds of the catchall barn
filled with extra furniture and wood.

He itched to work, but he needed a clean spot to do that. He
built shelving units for his tools and the various discarded appliances that
had been in the kitchen at one time or another.

Lily dropped him off a carafe of coffee and plate of
sandwiches without a word. He could feel her curious gaze, but she managed not
to ask questions.

He wasn’t sure if was out of loyalty for the silence between
him and Kendall or because she wasn’t sure what to make of him yet. Probably a
mix of both.

By ten that night, not even his flood work lights could keep
him awake. After a painfully quick shower, he vowed to fix the water heater the
next morning. Again he fell into a dreamless sleep and woke at dawn to work on
the barn before heading into town for a water heater.

Kendall brought him two breakfast sandwiches and a carafe of
black coffee. She watched for a few minutes before heading behind the barn to
the dock. Part of him wanted to follow her, to see the spot she talked about so
much, and the other part of him couldn’t stand any more disappointments when it
came to her.

So he stayed away.

And he worked until he didn’t have to think. Until he was
able to stop wanting Kendall for a little while. He added a new smart water
heater. It would increase efficiency in the house and bring down her utility
bill.

Their utility bill.

He put one foot in front of the other and made a list of
projects to do to increase the value of the property. Kendall left every
morning at seven and returned sometimes as late as seven in the evening.

They passed each other in the hall, outside the bathroom,
and occasionally in the kitchen. But they kept separate lives. Lily fed him and
left him lists for when he went into town. He finalized the orders he’d created
with the koa wood and began renovations on the barn. He framed out a room for
himself over the workshop.

Living in the B and B and so close to Kendall messed with
his brain. He hoped that if he made a completely separate spot, then he could
begin to work her out of his system. Maybe the love deal had been just the hazy
side of lust.

Remarkably he was able to sleep at night. He had a feeling
it was because he worked until he hit a wall and had no choice but to blink out
and recharge. If he hit that wall, then he didn’t dream about her. He didn’t
wake up reaching for her.

If he rolled out of bed and got right to work, he didn’t
even have to see her before she left in the morning. And if he didn’t see her,
he didn’t wonder why she was working away from the house. And he didn’t care
that she didn’t come to see him either.

As November bled into December, he got the barn converted
into a true workshop. He’d built a bunk over the office and could finally get
out from under the Heron’s roof and into a space of his own.

Shane headed up the side stairs to his room. It was two in
the afternoon, and Lily would be watching her television shows. She was the
ultimate morning person, scrubbing the house to an inch of its life so she
could enjoy her soaps and talk shows in the later part of the day.

It was amazing how quickly he’d moved into a schedule
without actually speaking to her. He didn’t know what the hell to say, and Lily
seemed to know he needed his space. It worked for them.

He loaded up his duffel bag with his clothes and toiletries,
and just as he slung it over his shoulder, Kendall filled the doorway with a
stack of towels and fresh sheets.

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know you were in the house.”

“I was just leaving.”

She glanced at his bag, her huge dark eyes slowly surveying
the room. “You’re really leaving.” There was no question, just a resigned
statement.

“Just moving into the barn. I also updated the Web site with
new pictures of the front of the house. I hope that means we’ll get a few
requests. I want to get out of your hair.”

“You’re not in my hair.”

He shrugged. “Out of Lily’s.”

“She likes having someone to take care of.”

Shane lifted a brow. “She has you.”

“You let her mother you.”

“I do not.”

An almost Kendall smile tipped up the corner of her wide mouth.
“You do. Hey, if someone else is doing the honey-do list, then I’m all for it.”

“Speaking of which, you haven’t been around much.”

“I temp during the slow season to make some extra money.”

He frowned. She shouldn’t have to do extra jobs. He jammed his
hand into his pocket so he didn’t do something stupid like grab her and make
her realize that. “But not today?”

“No, it’s decorating day. First we have to clean all the
rooms.”

“Your mother keeps every room sparkling.”

“Agreed, but Christmas is her deal, so I have to do what I’m
told.” She held up deep-green-and-white towels. “Christmas towels. But I guess
it doesn’t matter now.”

He stood in front of her and flicked a blonde curl over her
shoulder. He was playing with fire, but she was there in front of him, and he
couldn’t stop himself. Not when her apple scent rolled through his room—his
former room—and reminded him of just what he’d been missing for the last few
weeks.

She closed her eyes. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” He stroked his thumb under her chin and along
her jawline until he felt her pulse flutter wildly.

“Don’t make me want you again.”

“You stopped?”

She swallowed, and he could feel the muscles of her throat
work. He lowered his mouth to her temple. Her orchard flavor mixed with the
fresh linens in her arms. It made him think of Sunday-morning sunshine when he
caught her hanging the laundry.

He stepped back, even as his cock screamed at him to move
forward instead. To lay claim to her mouth, to stretch her out on his bed and
lift her arms above her head and watch her break apart in the diffused winter
sun.

He wanted it way too much. And he couldn’t invite that back
into his life. Not when he was working so hard to separate himself.

KENDALL WATCHED HIM walk away. Her chest ached with the need
to call him back. Already the room was empty without him. The little toiletries
that dotted his dresser, the clothes hanging in the closet, his extra pair of
work boots—all of them were gone.

Just how long before he’d be gone too?

Resolutely she put the towels in the bathroom and stripped
his bed. The lingering wisp of cedar chips ripped into her. She sat on the bed
and pulled his pillow forward and buried her face in his scent.

No. Not again. She stood and shook out the pillowcase until
the feather pillow landed in the chair with a thud. When the bed was stripped,
she snapped out fresh sheets.

The last three weeks had been a lesson in self-control. She
decided she pretty much sucked at it. The nights were the worst. Even working
twelve hours a day wasn’t enough to banish him.

She appreciated the new water heater, but she was still
taking cold showers out of necessity. She woke with his name on her lips, his
phantom hands on her body, and an orgasm teasing the edges of her sanity.

Even a hot shower and taking care of herself didn’t do the
job.

She was going to go mad if she didn’t figure out a way to
make him see that she hadn’t lied to him on purpose. She finished making the
bed and tossed the dirty sheets in the laundry chute. Before she could talk
herself out of it, she hit the stairs at a dead run.

The cold December air slapped her in the face. She stormed
across the driveway to the barn. Shane’s lathe was on, and a pile of sawdust
sprinkled over his boots. A spindle took shape as he worked his chisel up and
down the length.

That wasn’t helping.

She waited at the door for him to turn it off, and he tossed
his glasses on the workbench. She crossed the room before she could talk
herself out of it, then hooked her arms around his neck. She laid her lips on
his. At first there was no response.

Shane stood there as still as one of the carvings he had on
his shelf.

Then his fingers fisted into the back of her shirt, and he
dragged her against him. She gave a sighing moan as the hard length of him
pressed into her belly. He lifted her and dropped her on a metal workbench on
the far side of the room.

His mouth was relentless on her neck and collarbone. He
peeled up the bottom of her shirt, his teeth capturing her nipple on the reveal
of her plum-colored bra.

He moaned around the stiff tip and flipped her cups up with
the sweater until both were hanging around her neck. He went from one breast to
the other, taking care to suck both of her nipples into aching points.

He pulled her to the edge of the table and stripped her of
her jeans. His green eyes were wild and his jaw hard as granite. She kicked off
one pant leg. He pushed aside the elastic of her panties, and then he was
finally there—inside her.

The metal table rocked with the force of his thrusts. She
cried out and took each one like a punishment. Her swollen heat clasped around
him and held him tight as he ground against her pelvis.

Her nails bit into his shoulder, and the smoky scent of
sawdust drifted up with the musky scent of them together. She whispered his
name, her knees flexing at his hips as she took every thrust.

She came so hard her teeth rattled. And when she opened her
eyes, Shane’s fierce and focused face burned itself in her memory. He lifted
her knee higher and slid just that much deeper into her, and then she heard the
guttural groan as he filled her.

Unable to stay upright, she dropped her forehead onto his
shoulder.

“Shane.”

He backed up, and she locked her legs around his hips. “No.
Don’t go.”

“Kendall, I have to.”

Sunshine. She missed the soft, gravelly way he’d say
Sunshine
like it was an endearment. “I’m
sorry.” Her voice broke. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you to want to be here
without it being a perfect bed-and-breakfast. I just didn’t want to lose you.”

“Or the Heron,” he said quietly.

“No. I don’t want to lose my home either.”

He slid his hands along her knees and pulled her away from
his hips. Feeling exposed, she jumped down and jerked her jeans back on.
Turning away from him, she fixed her bra and sweater.

From the outside she didn’t look any different. Inside, she
knew she was changed yet again. The disappointment in his voice scooped out the
pleasure and left it with the sawdust on the ground.

“I don’t know what to say to make you understand why I did
what I did.”

“I was all the way in. And now I just don’t know.” He tipped
his head back. “Now all I see are the things that need to be done. And all the
return we’ll never get.”

She clenched her fists. Return on the business or them?
“Don’t you have any faith?”

“I thought I did.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and backed out of the
barn. How was she supposed to have enough faith for both of them when she was
teetering on the edge alone?

She wanted to believe that she and Shane made sense, that
they could pull the Heron out of the mire with faith alone, but what if he was
right? What if it was smarter to sell and start over somewhere else?

Maybe she should let someone else shoulder the burden and
find a job where she could put her managing skills to work without the
responsibility of ownership.

She climbed the side stairs and heard her mother singing in
the kitchen. She bypassed that route and headed for her bedroom. She quickly
cleaned up, her insides still reeling from the sex and their confessions.

Before she could change her mind, she called Bells, and they
agreed to meet in town. She backed her Outback down the drive and out to Heron
Way. She needed someone else’s point of view.

Kendall bustled into the pizza place, elbowed her way to the
counter, and ordered a pie before she claimed a booth against the window. Bells
waved to her and wove her way through the Friday-night crowd.

“How’d you get a booth?”

“There might have been snarling involved.”

Bells flipped her thick red hair over her shoulder and
quickly braided the end to keep it under control. She waved two fingers in the
air at the waitress, and two Stellas landed on the table.

It was good to be a regular.

“Okay, spill it, sister. You have scruff burn on your neck, and
you look miserable. Orgasms are supposed to end with sighs, not cries.”

Kendall shook her head. “Knowing someone from second grade
sucks sometimes.”

Bells grinned and took a sip from her beer. “I’m jealous. Do
you know how long it’s been since I’ve even had a whiff of whisker burn?”

“Three months.”

She roared out a laugh, and a few people looked at them.
Bells just shrugged and waved. “I wouldn’t count that. Maybe a mild case of
accidental orgasms. And only if I moved my hips just right.”

“You are so wrong.”

Bells smirked. “I don’t wanna be right.” She slid her hands
across the table and covered Kendall’s. “Enough with the witty banter. What’s
going on,
chica
?”