Swallowbrook's Winter Bride (12 page)

Back in her own bed that night Libby was finding sleep hard to come by. She’d agreed to go sailing on the lake with Nathan and Toby the next morning and how awkward was that going to be? she kept thinking. The three of them in close proximity with Toby happy and excited because she was there, and Nathan playing it cool as he always did,
except for that night on the island.

And now to add to her sleeplessness even more, she’d agreed to dine with him in the evening and could see that being another nerve-stretching occasion.

Sailing the lake the next morning in the smart new boat was Toby’s special time, she thought, and put her anxieties to one side as the two of them smiled at his excitement.

Living near the lake, they’d both been brought up amongst sailing craft and it was like history repeating itself from the days when they’d been young and
their
parents had smiled at
their
excitement on the occasions when they’d been on the water in
their
boats.

They stopped for lunch at one of the restaurants beside the water and as Libby looked at his young face glowing from the nip of the wind she hoped that if Toby’s parents, taken from him so tragically, were anywhere nearby in the ether, they would be content to know that he was being loved and cherished by the two of them.

If her relationship with Nathan could be as strong and sure as the one they both had with Toby, life would be so wonderful, she thought wistfully, and hoped that she wasn’t inviting more uncertainties on herself by accepting his invitation to dine with him that evening.
And it wasn’t going to be in the blue dress.
It belonged to a better understanding between them than the present one.

Dressed in warm trousers and sweaters, and with wind cheaters beneath their life jackets, the three of them spent another hour on the lake when they’d had lunch and at one point the house on the island came into view.

Libby was conscious of Nathan’s glance on her as the memory of what had happened between them there on a magical night came back, and she turned away. As always at the end of that mind picture was the moment when the putdown had occurred the following morning.

She was tempted to tell him that the dining-out arrangement was off. If his sombre expression was anything to go by, he was reading her mind and didn’t need telling, but she told herself there was no cause to make a big drama out of going for a meal with him—that was all that it would be, for heaven’s sake. She intended to make sure of
that
.

When they’d left the boat behind and driven back to the cottages Nathan said levelly, ‘So are we still on for tonight?’

She was bending to give Toby a hug and looked up at him with an expression that was giving nothing away. ‘Yes, I thought we had agreed…hadn’t we?’

He was smiling. ‘Just checking, that’s all.’

As the afternoon wore on she was restless and on edge. Why had she agreed to this evening’s arrangement? she kept asking herself. It was bound to be an ordeal, making polite conversation with Nathan when the only words she wanted to hear from his mouth were ‘I love you’. If it wasn’t for Toby she would steer clear of him altogether, and doing that would not be easy.

Working at the surgery with him, living next door to him, what chance would there be of that? There
was
a solution, of course—leave Swallowbrook, go elsewhere to practise medicine and start a new life. But to do that she would have nothing left of the things dearest to her and that would be worse than what was happening now.

On impulse she put on the warm jacket and the hat she’d worn for the sail on the lake and went out into the village to try to banish the blues.

There was hammering coming from the square in the centre where the war memorial was situated, and next to it council workmen were erecting the big Christmas spruce that they brought every year to be a focal point in the village.

In the fading light she saw that fairy lights were already beginning to appear in cottage windows and on trees in the gardens. Inside the grey stone properties were her patients and her friends, and next door to her was a man who held her heart in his careless hands, always had, always would.

If it wasn’t for it being Toby’s first Christmas in Swallowbrook and the first one since he’d been orphaned, she would go away for the two days that were all they allowed themselves at the practice, and that would be a first, absent from the village at Christmas. But if she was filling one of the gaps in Toby’s life to some small degree, she had to be there for
him.

The vicar and his family were arriving home from a drive out in the already frost-covered countryside and as she was passing the vicarage they invited her in for a hot toddy.

As they chatted, the man who loved Swallowbrook almost as much as she did was reminded that so far there were no Christmas weddings arranged to take place in the village this year, which was unusual, and with his glance on Libby hoped that one day, whatever the season, he might have the pleasure of officiating for the caring young doctor who had her own special niche in the life of the place.

Surrounded by the warmth of the vicarage family’s welcome and the hot drink they’d provided, Libby’s spirits were lifting and as dusk became the darkness of night she made her way home with a lighter step than when she’d set out.

Yet it didn’t stop her from remembering how what she’d thought had been the beginning of bliss had turned out to be a raw and aching memory of a non-event that Nathan had felt warranted an apology, and now she was committed to an evening of polite conversation and strained smiles.

Before she went up to change she wrapped the Christmas gifts she had bought for Nathan and Toby, a cashmere sweater for the man and for the boy a battery-operated replica of the boat called
Pudding
that he would be able to sail in the bath. There hadn’t been any need to consult Nathan again as to what she should get him. Once she’d seen it in one of the toy shops her mind had been made up.

As she’d been about to wrap the sweater she’d held it close for a moment and wished that Nathan was inside it, that she could hold him close and tell him how much she loved him, but the road of rebuff was a painful one to travel, and she’d been down it too many times.

For her father she’d bought a smart towelling robe and as she wrapped it wished she saw more of him, but he seemed contented enough where he was, so there was no point in fretting.

A camera was her gift for John, who had a special place in her heart, and now all that she still had to shop for were gifts for the practice staff.

Christmas was only a month away and what it would bring with it she didn’t know, but had a dismal feeling that Santa wouldn’t have any nice surprises for
her
in his sack.

Yet she wasn’t quite right about that. The thought had no sooner entered her head than the phone rang, and as if by wrapping his gift she had conjured him up, her father’s voice came over the line and it was more buoyant than it had been for a long time.

As he explained the reason for his call his upbeat tone was easily understood. It seemed that he was coming to Swallowbrook for Christmas and bringing someone with him, the new woman in his life. They would be staying with John at his invitation and he hoped she would be happy for him when she met Janice. ‘It doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten your mother, you know,’ he said awkwardly. ‘I’ve been like a lost soul since she went.’

‘Yes, I know you have,’ she told him reassuringly, ‘and, Dad, of course I’m happy for you.’

When they’d finished the call she put the phone down slowly. She’d meant what she’d said to him, but couldn’t help feeling that she really was going to be the odd one out during the festivities.

But there was no time to mope. The clock said that it was time to start preparing for the evening ahead and the final result was far from what she would have chosen if she’d been looking forward to it.

She’d decided to wear a starkly simple black dress that fitted her mood, relieved only by a gold necklace and matching earrings, and on observing herself in the mirror thought that it went well with the pale face looking back at her and the lacklustre expression.

One thing was clear, she decided, after tonight Nathan wouldn’t be falling over himself to wine and dine her again after her performance of death’s head at the feast.

They had taken Toby to the lodge by the river, complete with ‘comforter’ and his favourite teddy bear, and now Nathan was pointing the car in the direction of the hotel on the plateau beneath the tops of the fells.

He had made no comment about the absence of the blue dress, had just observed her thoughtfully when he’d answered her knock on the door of his cottage and suggested that she get in the car as he and Toby were ready so they might as well get mobile.

Of the two of them he was the most distinguished-looking in a smart grey suit with matching shirt and tie. Where Libby had felt she was underdressed for the occasion she thought that his clothes were a bit over the top for a casual night out, but could not deny that his appearance was heart-stopping, with regard to
her
heart anyway.

Since they’d kissed Toby goodnight and taken the road out of the village there had been no conversation between them and now Nathan’s only comment was, ‘There is snow on the tops and the forecast isn’t good. Gale-force winds and sleeting rain are moving in and if it turns to snow at this level it will be tricky.’

‘So do you want to turn back?’ she asked quickly.

‘No. I’m used to this road,’ he said levelly. ‘I won’t let you come to any harm.’

She almost groaned out loud. Some night out this was going to be, with ghastly weather blowing in and Nathan as chatty as one of the large stones that in a bygone age had been strewn along the side of the road by the elements. She wasn’t to know that his insides were clenching at the thought of what he would do if tonight, which he’d had such hopes for, turned out to be a fiasco in the storm-lashed hotel that Libby had chosen. Not so long ago he’d decided that he was being too wary of the past in his dealings with her and a more forthright attitude was called for, so he’d suggested that he take her out to dine with a view to clearing the air between them once and for all, and the earth would have to open up and swallow the Plateau Hotel before he would be willing to turn back.

Their table was ready and as they looked around them it was clear that the weather had made others think twice about dining there on such a night, and they had either cancelled or not been willing to make the effort without a booking in such weather.

Nathan’s smile was wry. He’d wanted to have her to himself this evening and he’d got it, but it wasn’t exactly as he’d hoped it would be as they ate in silence in the empty restaurant, and when they were seated in the hotel lounge with coffee and petit fours amongst a scattering of people who had just stopped by for a drink to take away the chill of the winter night, there was still no rapport between them.

This was catastrophic, Libby was thinking. She should have followed her instincts and refused the invitation to dine with Nathan, yet it would soon be over, it would have to be. Neither of them would want to be stranded up here with nothing to say to each other in this ghastly weather. As soon as they’d finished their coffee they needed to be off.

A gust of cold air in the reception area close by and the loud voices of new arrivals broke into her thought processes and almost simultaneously two men dressed in mountain rescue gear appeared in the doorway of the lounge.

‘I know these guys,’ Nathan said. ‘I used to be part of their team before I went to work abroad. What are they here for, I wonder?’ Rising from his seat, he went across to speak to them.

‘We’re looking for a volunteer to go up to the tops with us as we’re short on members tonight,’ one of them told him. ‘Two teenagers are missing from a group who are staying at the youth hostel on the bottom road. Should have been back hours ago. Their friends reckon they aren’t experienced or well equipped, so fast action is needed. How are you fixed for joining us, Nathan? We might need a doctor if we find them.’

‘Yes, all right,’ he agreed soberly. ‘But as you can see I’m with Libby Hamilton from the surgery in Swallowbrook, I need to explain what is happening… And what about equipment? I can’t go dressed like this.’

‘The hotel has a stock of clothes for this kind of situation. We’ll sort that out while you make your apologies to Dr Hamilton.’

‘What’s wrong, Nathan?’ she asked anxiously when he came back to her side.

‘Two youngsters lost on the tops,’ he said grimly. ‘They want me to go with them, Libby. I hope you’ll forgive me for leaving you like this but, whatever you do, don’t set off homeward bound, will you? I’ll come straight back for you once we’ve found the teens.’

She was observing him aghast. ‘I’d rather be up there with you,’ she protested.

‘No way. I want you here out of the cold, waiting for me, when I return.’

‘You’re risking your life up there. Suppose you don’t come back?’

‘I
will
come back,’ he said steadily, ‘because I have so many things to say to you that I’ve left unsaid, and then there’s Toby, who needs us both so much. I know the fells as well as anyone and I’m trained for this sort of emergency. There’s no way I can leave two kids stranded any more than you could. I have to do this, Libby.’