Swansea Summer (12 page)

‘What?’ she asked carefully, wondering if he was referring to the words they’d had about her returning to Swansea.

‘Tonight. Martin told me earlier that he and Lily have never had an argument, and after the last couple of hours I can believe it. Their idea of arguing is evidently not to say a word to one another. You could bottle the atmosphere between them and sell it as fog. What was it all about, anyway?’

‘Don’t you know?’ She turned in at her gate.

‘I wouldn’t be asking if I did.’

‘It’s Joe. Didn’t you see Lily’s face when she was dancing with him, or Martin’s as he watched them?’

‘Martin’s jealous of Joe?’ he murmured incredulously.

‘I’d say so.’

‘Does he have reason to be?’

‘Lily’s adamant it’s over between her and Joe, and I believe her. Martin’s a fool if he thinks otherwise.’ She stopped outside her front door. Her mother had left the lamp burning in the hall and the stained-glass panel reflected vivid blue, red and green jewels of light on to Brian’s suit and face. ‘You coming in for coffee?’

‘It’s nearly midnight.’

‘I know the time, I asked if you wanted coffee.’ There was an edge to her voice he found difficult to ignore.

‘What about your mother?’

‘She said I could ask you, but if you don’t want to …’

‘Oh, I want to, but where is your mother?’ he asked warily.

‘At a guess I’d say listening to the wireless or reading in bed.’ Judy turned the key and stepped inside. ‘Mam?’

‘In the kitchen, Judy.’ Her mother appeared in the doorway in a pale-pink quilted-nylon housecoat. ‘I’ve just made some cocoa. Do you want some?’

‘Brian and I would prefer coffee, Mam.’

‘It’ll keep you awake.’

‘Not after the day we’ve had, Mrs Hunt.’ Brian waited until Judy pulled off her gloves before helping her off with her coat.

‘From what I remember weddings can be tiring affairs but not as tiring as a full Saturday in the salon, so if you’ll excuse me I’ll say goodnight, Brian.’ Joy nodded to him and kissed Judy as she carried her cocoa to the stairs.

‘Goodnight, Mrs Hunt.’ Brian gave Judy’s mother a cautious smile and, feeling the need to say more, added, ‘I won’t keep Judy up long.’

‘That’s good to know.’ She returned his smile and he even thought he saw a little warmth in it.

Since Katie had moved in with Lily to share her bedroom they had fallen into the habit of talking over their day last thing at night. But to Lily’s relief, for once Katie crawled into bed after leaving the bathroom, turned her face to the wall and closed her eyes. If she didn’t fall asleep shortly afterwards, she certainly gave a good impression of it. Lily crept in beside her, switched off the bedside light, curled into a self-contained ball and contemplated the evening – and Martin.

Given his father’s reputation for violence and Katie’s stories of the beatings Ernie Clay had inflicted on every member of his family, she could understand Martin’s concern over losing his temper and hitting Adam but not his reaction. Martin was totally unlike his father who had been feared and avoided by everyone in Carlton Terrace. She was one hundred per cent certain that he would never lash out at any man without provocation and it was unthinkable even to consider that he’d ever hit a woman or a child. When they had been children she had seen Martin ignore taunts and bullying about his ragged clothes and his family that had driven Jack to blind rage.

Was he really afraid of hurting her as he had said, or was he simply fed up with her and looking for a way to end their relationship? And what was their relationship anyway? A few dates, some good times when she had assumed he had enjoyed her company as much as she enjoyed his, but he had never told her so. What if he had been bored the whole time?

And he’d talked about not wanting to take on the responsibility of a family as Jack had done. She tried to recall everything she had said to him, not only that night but on their dates. Had she frightened him off by giving him the impression that she was only going out with him because she wanted marriage and a family? The few times she could recall discussing anything remotely related to the topic, the conversations had been concerned with Jack and Helen. Had Martin assumed that because she’d been happy to help Helen set up her home she wanted to do the same herself?

Just before sleep obliterated thought, she came to the conclusion that the one thing she could be absolutely certain of was that Martin meant more to her than she did to him, otherwise he wouldn’t be so determined to push her out of his life – and towards Joe.

As Lily relaxed into sleep, Katie allowed the tears she had kept in check since she had left the warehouse to fall. Stifling her sobs in her pillows, she cried until dawn broke. She’d lost the only man she would ever love and her heart was broken.

‘Your mother’s mellowed,’ Brian commented as Judy carried a tray of coffee and sandwiches into the living room.

‘Absence and all that.’ Judy set the tray on the coffee table in front of him. ‘She actually admitted this afternoon that she misses me.’

‘I get the impression she almost likes me.’

‘Don’t get a swollen head over it, she “almost likes” a lot of people.’ Sitting beside him, she handed him a plate.

He opened one of the sandwiches. ‘Great, pickle and cheese. Can we switch off the main light?’ He turned on a sofa lamp in anticipation.

‘Not until I’ve eaten. I like to see what’s in my sandwiches.’ She heaped two on to her plate.

‘Didn’t you make them?’

‘Who else?’

‘Then you should know what’s in them.’

‘I’m tired, I could have scraped up a spider with the pickle.’

He paused mid-bite and opened his sandwich again.

‘That was a joke.’

‘You think that’s funny.’ Realising that the banter was Judy’s way of trying to cope with the underlying tension that had set in between them since he had discovered she was considering returning to Swansea, he gave her a hard look.

‘It got you going, didn’t it?’

He left the sofa, turned off the light and closed the door to the hall.

‘Why do boys always want the light out?’ she asked, as he took her plate from her hand and set it together with his own on the table.

‘Possibly for the same reason girls always close their eyes when they kiss.’ He sat on the sofa and pulled her towards him.

To prove him wrong she left her eyes open as he wrapped his arms round her and lowered his lips to hers.

‘Always have to prove a point, don’t you,’ he remonstrated, as he released her.

‘I wondered what it would be like to leave my eyes open for once. Do you realise this is the first time we’ve been alone together in anything resembling privacy since we left Swansea a month ago?’

‘Yes.’ He kissed her again and this time she closed her eyes, shivering as he pulled down the elasticised sleeves of her dress and exposed her bra. Slipping his hand behind her back, he unfastened the hooks. She clung to him as he laid the strapless bra on the cushion behind him and gently caressed her exposed breasts. ‘You really are very beautiful. Much more than …’

‘Who?’ she snapped, instantly on the alert.

‘Not who, what,’ he muttered, shamefaced. ‘The boys have magazines in the hostel …’

‘Of naked girls.’

‘You’ve seen them?’ He was stunned at the thought.

‘Helen used to pinch Joe’s and show them to us.’ Her mouth turned down in disapproval. ‘They were disgusting. I can’t believe you’d want to look at pictures like that, or that any decent girl would pose for them.’

‘The girls are well-paid.’

‘No amount of money would make me strip off for a photographer.’ She frowned. ‘And how do you know the girls are well-paid?’

‘Because one of the boys in the hostel went out with a model. She told him she earns ten times her regular fee every time she works in the nude.’

‘And I suppose she gave you and “the boys” a private show.’

‘I never even met the girl,’ he protested. ‘And before you say another word, I can’t avoid seeing the magazines when they’re always lying around, now can I.’

‘You could if you tried.’

‘Isn’t it enough that I don’t buy them or go out of my way to find them?’

‘No.’

‘It’s not like I have another woman,’ he said defensively as she pulled up her dress.

‘What would you say if I told you that Lily, Katie and I look at magazines of naked men?’

‘I’d say, do whatever makes you happy.’ He grinned as an image of the three of them poring over a photograph of a naked man came to mind.

‘Happy – we’d die laughing. Naked men are ridiculous,’ she railed scornfully.

‘Oh, yes, and how many have you seen?’

Caught in her own trap, she sensed her cheeks burning. ‘None.’

‘Then how do you know we look ridiculous?’

‘I’ve seen Greek statues.’

‘And you think classical statues of men look ridiculous.’

‘This is a stupid conversation.’ She picked up her plate and took another bite of sandwich.

‘You always say that when I’m winning.’

‘I don’t.’

‘I think you need to study a naked man in depth.’ Setting her plate aside again, he nuzzled her neck.

‘You volunteering?’ Her cheeks burned again at her audacity.

‘If you reciprocate.’ Sliding her dress down again, he cupped her breasts with his hands and gently caressed her nipples with his thumbs.

‘Do you ever feel like going further than this?’ she ventured, as his touch sent shock waves coursing through her body.

‘Every time we’re alone.’

An image came to her mind of Helen’s and Jack’s flat. Would they be able to find one like it in London? If they did, she could give up work and keep house for Brian. It wouldn’t be like living in Swansea but then she wouldn’t have to get up every day to face a job she hated either. ‘You haven’t tried recently.’

‘Only because we haven’t had the chance to be alone and if my memory serves me correctly, you always fight me off.’

Her green eyes glowed seductively in the muted glow of the lamp as she lifted her legs on to the sofa and moved against the cushions to make room for him to lie beside her. ‘But you want to.’

He slid his body along the length of hers and kissed her again. ‘It would have to be for the right reasons,’ he whispered huskily. Pushing her dress down over her arms, he stripped her to the waist, pulled off his tie and dropped it to the floor.

‘How many girls have you made love to?’

‘Millions.’ He slid his hand up her leg and rested it on her stocking top.

‘I’m serious, Brian.’

His hand froze as he opened his eyes. ‘What kind of a question is that?’

‘You did your National Service, you were a soldier, you’ve been abroad. There are always girls around army camps who’ll do anything for a few shillings …’

‘Who told you that?’

‘I read the Sunday papers.’

‘The
People
or the
News of the World?
’

Putting the odd tone of his voice down to frustration, she continued, ‘I’m only asking because I think it’s time I stopped fighting you off.’

‘You want me to make love to you, right here and now?’

‘I’ve never done it and I’m curious as to what it’s like. Helen …’

‘Helen talked about her and Jack!’ He removed his hand from her leg.

‘All she would say was it was private between her and Jack.’

‘Good for Helen.’ Sitting up, he moved away from her.

‘We’ve been going out together for months now. Don’t you think it’s time we made love?’ Kneeling beside him, she pulled the skirt of her dress from beneath her and tugged it over her head.

The breath caught in his throat. She was very beautiful and temptingly desirable, dressed in only a lace waist petticoat, suspender belt, panties and stockings. But something in her eyes made his blood run cold. It was almost as if one of the models from the magazines was with him, not his girlfriend of the past few months. ‘If I did, would you insist on marrying me afterwards, or move on to the next thrill?’ he asked coldly.

She stared blankly at him. ‘I can’t believe you just said that.’

‘Do you realise you asked me to make love to you without once mentioning that you love me.’

‘You know I love you. I told you this afternoon.’

‘That was this afternoon, when you also told me you were thinking about leaving London to come back here. I don’t know where I am with you, Judy. And, frankly, the last thing I need at the moment is to satisfy your curiosity by indulging in a bout of meaningless sex.’

‘That’s a horrible thing to say.’

‘But true. And it’s made me realise that this isn’t the time or place for what we’ve just been doing, not with your mother upstairs.’ Leaving the sofa, he retrieved his tie from the floor and pulled out the knot.

‘If my mother is all you’re worried about, she won’t disturb us.’

‘I’m more worried about you than your mother.’ He looked back at her as he fastened the buttons that had worked loose on his shirt. ‘Hasn’t anyone told you lovemaking is just that, making love, an expression of your feelings for one particular, very special person?’

‘But I do love you, Brian, you know that.’

‘That was an afterthought if ever there was one.’ He reached for the door handle.

She couldn’t understand why he was angry or what she had done wrong. He had more or less admitted he liked looking at naked girls, she had taken most of her clothes off and yet he was walking away from her. ‘I’m prepared to give you everything and you’re turning me down because you won’t make love to me until we’re married, is that it?’ she asked in confusion.

He looked at her as if she were a stranger. ‘You really don’t understand, do you?’

‘No. You asked me to marry you …’

‘Months ago and you said no.’

Her eyes rounded in alarm as he opened the door. ‘Don’t go …’

‘I told your mother I wouldn’t keep you up late.’

‘But what about us? We haven’t decided anything …’ Her voice tailed off as a cold shiver ran down her spine.

‘We have hours to talk about us on the train tomorrow, Judy; that is, if you are going back to London. And if you’re not, I rather think any decisions will have been made.’