Authors: Catrin Collier
‘But we won’t be alone on the train like we are now.’ Making no attempt to cover herself she went to him and tried to kiss him.
‘No.’ He pushed her gently down on to the sofa. ‘Not now, and certainly not with you in this mood.’
‘What mood? I love you …’
‘You’re so mixed up you don’t know what you want, London or Swansea, me or any man who’ll show you what sex is like. I don’t want to have to get married like Jack, forced into it because there’s a baby on the way. I want to get married because I love the girl, she loves me and we’ve made a decision to spend the rest of our lives together. Not because the girl sees marriage and a family as a way out of a job she can’t get to grips with.’
‘It wouldn’t be like that …’
‘Do you think I’m so stupid I can’t work out that the only reason you’re mentioning marriage now is so you can give up work?’
‘I love you,’ she protested in a small voice.
‘I’m sorry, much as I want to, I don’t believe you.’
‘So what happens now?’ Forced to accept that he wasn’t going to touch her again, she reached for her dress.
‘That is entirely up to you.’
‘You want us to carry on as we have been, with both of us working all the hours of the day and night, hardly ever seeing one another …’
‘And we’d see so much more of one another if you came back here.’ He stepped into the doorway. ‘If you can’t see a future for us together, I’d rather you told me now, Judy, before I waste any more time making plans that aren’t going anywhere.’
Her heart missed a beat. ‘You want us to stop seeing one another?’
‘It might be an idea until you decide what you really want out of life.’
‘And if I decide I want you?’
He looked carefully at her. ‘You’d continue to put up with a city and a job you hate just for me.’
She hesitated. ‘I just need time …’
‘I won’t wait for ever, neither will I let myself be used by you or anyone else, Judy. Just one last piece of advice. Whatever happens between us, don’t go asking any more men to make love to you when you’re not sure whether you love them or not. In my experience that’s how girls get reputations they’d rather not have.’ He gave her one final piercing look before he walked away.
‘The kettle’s not long boiled, there’s instant coffee and bread and cheese in the cupboard,’ Sam greeted Brian as he walked into the basement kitchen.
‘Where’s Martin?’ Brian asked, as he made himself coffee.
‘He went straight to bed when we came in.’
‘Happy days,’ Brian mused sardonically.
‘Not for him and Lily, or you and Judy by the look on your face,’ Sam diagnosed as Brian sat in the only other easy chair.
‘You know girls.’
‘Unfortunately not as well as I’d like to.’
‘If you take my advice you’ll stay away from them.’
Sam handed Brian the sugar bowl. ‘From where I’m sitting, it doesn’t look like you’re taking your own advice.’
‘I may soon be forced to.’
Sensing a depressing conversation about to start, Sam left his chair. ‘I’m for bed. See you in the morning.’
‘I’ll be here,’ Brian answered absently, as he swung his feet on to one of the kitchen chairs.
Recognising Martin’s silhouette behind the stained-glass panel in the front door, Lily ran down the passage in the hope that he had called to tell her he would like to spend the day with her after all, but he looked anywhere but at her as he backed down the path.
‘Come in.’ She opened the door wider.
‘I can’t. Brian is catching the two o’clock train.’
‘I know, Judy told me. Haven’t you even the time to step inside?’ she asked, as Joe walked out of his house and waved to her.
‘No. Sam suggested we take Brian for a pint down the Rose before Sunday dinner. Mrs Hunt’s invited us.’
‘She’s invited Uncle Roy, Katie and me too.’
‘Then I’ll see you there. About today …’
‘Yes,’ she broke in eagerly.
‘The weather isn’t really good enough for us to go anywhere.’ He held out his hands as if to emphasise the slight drizzle that was dampening the air and greying the pavement.
‘No, I suppose it isn’t,’ she agreed reluctantly.
‘See you at Mrs Hunt’s, then.’
‘Yes, see you there.’
Martin didn’t even look back as he turned down the steps to his basement.
‘Chicken or pork?’ Roy asked Joy as he picked up the carving knife and set about the two roasts she had placed in front of him.
‘Chicken, please.’
‘Katie, Judy?’
‘Chicken, please.’
‘And for me, Uncle Roy.’ Lily placed a bowl of mashed potatoes on the table.
‘Joe?’
‘I don’t mind either, Mr Williams. Whichever is the least popular will be fine.’ Joe glanced at Lily in an attempt to gauge her mood, but she followed Joy back into the kitchen.
Sensing that everyone would be feeling a little flat after the wedding, Joy had invited Roy and John Griffiths and their respective households together with Martin, Sam and Brian to Sunday lunch. When they all accepted she bought a joint of pork to complement the large chicken she had ordered from her butcher. Pleading a heavy workload, John Griffiths had dropped a note through her door early that morning to say that he wouldn’t be able to join her, but Joe would.
Roping Katie and Lily in to help her and Judy in the kitchen, Joy had been concerned by how subdued all three girls had been. There had been none of the usual banter as they had prepared the vegetables and Katie, especially, looked pale and heavy-eyed. Reluctant to pry, Joy hinted that if any of them wanted to talk to her they could, but the silence had only intensified as the girls retreated even further into themselves.
‘If you take in the apple sauce, Lily, I think that’s it.’ Joy glanced around the kitchen to check she hadn’t forgotten anything as she ladled gravy into a jug from a pan on the stove. Picking up the sauce boat, Lily led the way back into the dining room and slipped on to a chair between Roy and Joe who had engineered a seat next to hers.
Roy said a brief grace, tureens and plates were passed, the salt cellar and pepper pot travelled from one end of the long table to the other and the whole time Judy fought the urge to scream. Every time she looked up, she caught Brian watching her, but the only conversation between them was of the ‘pass the salt’ variety and she was too embarrassed by the events of the previous evening to attempt anything more.
Sam said a great deal, most of it to Katie who, when she replied at all, did so in monosyllables. Joe was too busy staring at Lily to say much beyond complimenting Joy on her cooking. Martin ate silently, neither looking at nor saying a single word to anyone, so it was left to Roy and Joy to direct what little discussion there was.
Martin was the first to break up the party. As he finished his main course he pushed back his chair from the table. ‘That was wonderful, Mrs Hunt, a real treat. Would you mind very much if I left now?’
‘There’s loads more food, Martin …’
‘I couldn’t eat another thing, Mrs Hunt, thank you.’ Rising to his feet, he replaced his chair beneath the table.
‘Not even the apple crumble and custard I’ve made?’ Joy had noticed that Lily and Martin were avoiding one another and Joe’s smile was broadening, and wondered if Lily had gone back to Joe.
‘I’ve never had much of a sweet tooth and I have to study for my City and Guild finals. They start the week after next.’ Martin folded his linen napkin and set it neatly beside his plate.
‘Of course, if you have work to do. I’ll see you out.’
‘Don’t disturb yourself, Mrs Hunt, I’ll see myself out.’ Martin left the room and seconds later the front door closed behind him.
‘Anyone want any more meat, vegetables, potatoes or gravy?’ Joy asked.
‘I wouldn’t mind a few more roast potatoes please, Mrs Hunt.’ Sam beamed at Katie as he pushed his plate towards his hostess.
‘My mother would have a fit if she could see me now.’ Helen took the ice cream cone Jack handed her and sat on a park bench.
‘Why?’ Jack watched as she licked all around the edge of her cone to stop it from dribbling.
‘Because I’m eating in public.’ She imitated Esme’s drawl: ‘Like common street riff-raff.’
‘I warned you that I’d bring you down to my level when I married you.’
‘I’m glad you did.’
‘Warn you?’
‘Marry me, you idiot.’ She grabbed his arm and planted a kiss on his cheek.
‘Steady with that cone; that’s a brand-new sports coat you’re about to rub ice cream into.’
‘I wasn’t about to do any such thing.’ She sat back and stared up at the bright blue cloudless sky. ‘Do you think the weather’s as perfect as this in Swansea?’
‘If it isn’t, it will be when we get back.’
‘Just think, all our Sundays are going to be like this from now on. Walks and ice cream in the park, nothing to do …’
‘Except change nappies, feed the baby, wash his clothes, rock him to sleep, play with him, teach him to crawl, then walk, play football – I never did make a good job of that with Katie. She’s a terrible footballer.’
‘You remember Katie as a baby?’ she asked in surprise.
‘I was three but I can remember her being born.’
‘This is going to be the first baby in our family since me.’ She had a sudden panic attack. ‘What if I don’t cope? Some women don’t … I read about one the other day. She abandoned her baby on a doorstep …’
‘I forbid you to read any more stories like that.’ Demolishing the last of his cone in two bites, Jack wiped his fingers on his handkerchief and handed it to her. ‘You’ll be fine, sweetheart.’
‘I wish I had your confidence.’
‘My mother used to say there’s nothing to babies. Feed one end, clean up the other and they’ll be happy.’
‘I didn’t need to hear that when I’m eating.’
‘You all right?’ he asked anxiously as she paled.
‘Morning sickness.’
‘It’s three o’clock.’
‘Looks like I’ve got all-day sickness.’
‘Want to walk back to the hotel?’
‘Please.’
‘If you’re ill I could try and get us a taxi.’
‘I don’t feel that bad’ – she looked up at him mischievously – ‘but a lie-down before dinner might be nice.’
Everyone sitting at Joy’s table was relieved when the last vestiges of apple crumble and custard had been eaten. No one lingered. Brian left to finish his packing and Judy went up to her bedroom to do the same. Roy made for the parlour to fix a broken window sash and Katie and Lily persuaded Joy to go with him, promising to bring them both a cup of tea when they’d finished clearing the table and washing the dishes.
For once Joy didn’t argue, deciding if something was bothering the girls it might be as well to leave them on their own so they could talk it out, but she had reckoned without Sam and Joe. Both hung back after she left the room, Joe in the hope of renewing his conversation of the night before with Lily and Sam in search of an opportunity to ask Katie to go out with him.
‘If you need a slave to wash the dishes, I’m your man.’ Taking the tray Katie had brought in from the kitchen, Sam set it on the table and began stacking plates and bowls on to it.
‘We can manage,’ Katie protested, as Joe left his chair, picked up a tureen of cabbage and made a beeline for the kitchen.
‘The least I can do after that magnificent meal is help clear up.’ Refusing to be deterred, Sam carried on scraping and stacking bowls.
‘Here, let me take those from you, they look heavy.’ Joe snatched the meat and Yorkshire pudding trays from Lily. Misjudging their weight, he almost dropped them. Steadying them against his chest, he smudged the pale-grey cashmere slipover he was wearing with grease.
‘Someone’s going to have fun trying to get that stain out.’ Lily cast a critical eye over the damage as she took two clean Pyrex bowls from Joy’s cupboard.
‘Our housekeeper’s good at laundry.’
‘No wonder, you must give her plenty of practice. It still might be an idea to go home and change. If you put that slipover into cold water it will prevent the stain from setting.’
‘Now I’m a mess, I may as well stay and help you until this lot is cleared away.’ Dumping the trays in the sink, he began to run the hot water.
‘Take the trays out of the sink and stack them on the stove,’ Lily ordered.
‘I’m going to wash them. They’re far too heavy for you and there’s no sense in both of us getting into a state.’
‘You don’t know much about washing up, do you?’
‘It’s that obvious?’ He gave her a sheepish smile.
‘If you’re intent on learning how to do it, clear and clean the sink, fill it full of hot water, add a couple of spoonfuls of soda and start with the cleanest things first, which in this case will be the glasses, then the dessert plates and cutlery, then the dinner plates and cutlery. The oven and meat trays can wait until last.’
‘Yes, ma’am.’ He gave her a mock salute. ‘But won’t the water be very dirty by then?’
She wondered if he was deliberately playing the fool in an attempt to make her look like an idiot. ‘It will do to get off the worst of the grease. You can always run a fresh bowlful afterwards.’
‘Clear a space, heavy load coming through.’ Sam burst into the kitchen with the tray, Katie trailing in his wake. ‘Good to see you already at it, Joe. Shall I dry?’ He picked up a tea towel as Joe removed the first of the glasses from the sink of hot water he had run and placed them on the draining board.
‘Fine by me, is that all right with you, Lily?’ Joe asked, as Lily removed the remainders of the meat into the Pyrex bowls.
Lily glanced across at Katie, who was scraping the leftovers into the pigswill bin. Realising her friend was no more comfortable with Sam’s attempts at flirting with her than she was with Joe’s, she nodded agreement. ‘And seeing as how the two of you are so set on clearing up for us, we’ll skive off and see if we can help Judy upstairs.’
‘I’m sure she can manage …’
‘So am I
,
Joe,’ she interrupted sweetly, covering the Pyrex bowls with plates and stowing them on the cool marble slab in the pantry. ‘But it will give us the chance to have a last gossip. Let us know when you’ve finished and we’ll come down and make Mrs Hunt and my uncle that cup of tea. Do you want a hand to untie your apron, Katie?’
‘You left Sam and Joe with the washing up?’ Judy started to laugh as Lily closed the door.
‘It was Lily’s idea.’ Katie sat on Judy’s bed.
‘I didn’t hear you object.’ Lily joined Katie on the bed.
‘Serve them right for being so pushy.’ Judy rummaged in her handbag for her make-up. ‘I wish we had all afternoon so we could have a really good chat, like the old days.’
‘The old days?’ Lily raised her eyebrows. ‘I’m not forty yet.’
‘God, imagine being forty.’
Lily thought about it for a moment. ‘I can’t.’
‘You two will be married like Helen. You’ll have four children apiece and I’ll be good old spinster Auntie Katie.’ There was a trace of bitterness in Katie’s voice that Lily had never picked up on before.
Judy sat on her dressing-table stool. ‘By “old days” I meant before I went to London.’ She made a face as she studied her reflection in the mirror. ‘I’d give anything to be able to stay here with you two.’
‘Then stay,’ Katie said suddenly.
‘For two pins I’d take you up on that.’
‘I could find two pins.’ Katie examined her nails. Since her father’s death she had stopped biting them and the novelty of actually having nails she could polish hadn’t yet worn off.
‘I talked to my mother about coming back here for good again this morning. It’s tempting but I should work out my notice at the BBC in case I ever need a reference from them.’ Judy tipped her make-up out on to a glass tray.
‘If you work for your mother you won’t need a reference,’ Katie pointed out logically.
‘And Brian?’ After revealing Judy’s doubts about life in London to him the day before, Lily had to steel herself to ask.
‘I told him how much I hated my job and living in the hostel when he came to tea yesterday afternoon.’
‘Was that because of what I said to him at Martin’s?’ Lily felt guilty at the thought.
‘Yes.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be, I should have told him weeks ago.’ Judy unscrewed the top from a bottle of foundation.
‘If he was upset it’s only because he’s besotted with you.’ Lily left the bed and moved restlessly to the window.
‘I’m not so sure.’
‘You didn’t hear some of the things he said about you on Saturday afternoon when you left to clear out your wardrobe.’
‘That was before he brought me home from the Pier last night.’ Judy paused for a moment. She wanted to talk about what had happened between her and Brian but there was no way she could tell even her closest friends the full, mortifying details. ‘We had the most awful row.’
‘What about?’ Katie asked.
‘I’m not quite sure,’ Judy prevaricated, still raw from Brian’s rejection. She would have given anything to erase all memory of the humiliating episode from her memory.
‘What about you and Martin, Lily? Neither of you said a word on the way home from the Pier, or over lunch, come to think of it.’
‘Martin and I are just friends.’
‘Pull the other one.’ Judy dabbed spots of foundation along her forehead and down her nose.
‘We haven’t been going out together anywhere near as long as you and Brian.’ Lily sat on the windowsill.