Sweet Affection (Truth Book 3) (36 page)

The door opening draws my attention back to Laurel and what’s about to happen. Judy walks in with Dr Bennett and moves round to stand on the other side of the bed.

“So, we’re going to take her off the ventilator now and leave her with just oxygen. She’s been responding well to having less sedatives, so we’ll just continue to monitor as she comes round. Do either of you have any questions?” He asks, as he sorts out the machines and puts the mask round her head.

I don’t have any words. My heart’s lodged in my throat as I wait for signs she’s awake. I take her hand and I wait.

Nothing happens.

“W-Why can’t she open her eyes?” I ask him, swallowing down the dread and anxiety that falls quickly to the pit of my stomach.

“Because she’s not ready to yet. It’ll take time, it won’t be instantaneous. She’ll get more movement back, open her eyes then drift away again. It’s completely normal. Most patients don’t remember much from the first few days of waking up. But we’ll be here when she does. You can carry on talking to her. She’ll have a better chance of hearing you now. I’ll come back soon.”

Chapter Twenty Six

Laurel

I have to struggle to catch my breath, my lungs feel strange. It’s like I’m gasping for air but I can’t get enough in.

“I’m scared.” I whisper to my dad.

“Don’t be sweetie. I won’t let anything happen to you.” We carry on walking and I see that Cassie and Jen have reached the end. They’re mouthing something but I can’t hear anything above the Bridal March that’s filling my ears. They have happy, relieved smiles. I try to make out their words – Welcome back? Why are they welcoming me back?

My mum looks at me with tears in her eyes. It’s all still blurry, but at least I know who they are now. My eyes search for him, and I’m about to ask where he is when he turns and fills my vision completely. I blink again furiously. I want to be able to see every line on his face, every feature, every emotion so I can burn it into my memory but I can’t and it’s so frustrating. I can tell he’s smiling though. We step closer, nearly at the very end of the aisle. This is it.

Dad stops before I can get there. I glance up and tears are silently rolling down his cheeks. “What’s going on?” The music is going to be coming to an end soon.

“This is as far as I can go.”

Wait, what? He can’t leave. “What do you mean?” I ask, my voice full of panic again that this may be the last time I see him.

“I’ve taken you as far as I can. Now you have to walk the rest of the way on your own. I won’t be far away. I’ll be here watching. But it’s time for you to go to him.”

I look back at James. He’s mouthing something to me but I don’t know what he’s saying. I want to shout that I can’t hear anything. Why aren’t they speaking out loud?

My eyes quickly go back to my dad. I don’t want to choose. The tears come back again with so much more force than before. I’ve had this tiny little sliver of a moment with him, and now he wants me to let him go. It feels so unfair.

“Go on, Laurel. You’re stronger than this. Just reach for him, he’s there.”

I shake my head and dig my heels into the carpet of the Church aisle. I’m not going to choose.

“Beautiful girl, I told you that the day you were born was my proudest day.  But this, this tops
it completely. Seeing you here all grown up; happy, successful, stunning. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me. Go and live your life. Take this memory of us with you; I’m always here watching over you but it’s your time with that man over there now. He’s your future
. Grab hold of it with both hands and never let go.” Dad kisses my forehead gently and I know in my heart he’s right. I can choose to have a life with James, and still hold onto these memories.  And I will.
I’ll keep them with me, forever.

I sniff, nodding in acceptance, and wipe my tears away swiftly. As I turn to face the front I feel my dad’s strong hand leave my shoulder. “Bye daddy.” I whisper quietly into the air.

My eyes find James’ eyes. Kind, loving baby blue eyes that I could just stand and drown in all day. I find the strength in my limbs to move my body forward as James’ arms reach out for me. He’s speaking again and now I’m closer I can read his lips. He’s telling me he loves me. He says it over and over and over again and soon the music stops and I can hear his voice. Loud and clear and deep.

“I love you, Laurel. I’ll always love you.”

Chapter Twenty Seven

James

I don’t think my heart has stopped its relentless pounding for the last two days. Laurel’s been drifting in and out of consciousness just like the doctor said, but each time I lose her again I feel so deflated.

The last time was for around a minute. Cassie and Jen were here too, and she frowned at us at all, gaze drifting over each of us, then went back to sleep.

I’m sitting in the chair next to her bed, my body bent over hers, my hands under my chin, resting on her stomach, looking out the window and trying to make things out of the puffy white clouds rolling by. I’ve already seen a huge fluffy one that looked like a poodle and a couple of smiley faces and now I think I’ve just spotted a kid sitting on a camel. I chuckle then stop immediately when there’s movement underneath me.

Thank fuck for that; she’s coming round again.

I sit up and watch her face. “Laurel, can you hear me? I’m here. I love you so much. I’m here.”

Her eyes flutter open, and her head moves on the pillow to look at me. It takes a few seconds for my face to register with her, while fear slowly seeps into my mind. What if she doesn’t recognise me? I pray a silent thank you when she slowly smiles back and I feel like I could explode with happiness.

She tugs on her mask, and I reach for her hand to stop her from taking it off completely.

“You’ll need it babe. Don’t talk. Just rest.” I stroke the sides of her hair away from her face and rest my hand on the side of her head, my thumb stroking her forehead. She’s warm and slightly damp, but so beautiful.

So fucking
perfect.

I choke down a shout of joy when she lifts her hand and fumbles for mine. Her grip is weak, but mine’s strong enough for the both of us.

“God, I’ve missed you. You scared the shit out of me.” I kiss her hand and rest it against my cheek. “Don’t ever leave me again, babe.
Please.
I can’t-”

It’s the gut-wrenching relief that chokes me up and I can’t stop the tears as my head falls forward onto the bed. I know I should be strong now, she’s back and soon I could have her in my arms but I don’t have the energy. Her hand finds its way to my hair and she threads her fingers through the strands.

Gradually I realise how selfish I’m being and push away the sobs racking my body. The comfort of her fingertips calms me inside enough to lift my head.

She’s still awake. Thank God she’s still awake. This is the longest she’s been conscious. I should get a nurse. I hit the button on the wall with force and stand, my hand stroking her cheek.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Her head shakes, then she winces like she’s in pain so I panic and try to reach for the button again.

Her hand on my arm stops me, before she pulls the mask down and this time I help her move it to the side. Now I can see her face properly. There’s my beautiful girl.

“W-what happened?”

“You were in a car accident, babe. You’re in the hospital now. You’re going to be fine.” I perch down next to her on the bed and kiss both her hands.

“You’re awake honey.” The nurse comes through the door and heads straight to her monitors. “How are you feeling?” She tilts her head and rubs her hand gently on Laurel’s shoulder.

“My throat’s dry.” Laurel croaks out and tries to sit up. Her face screws up the moment she moves so she slumps back against the pillow.

The nurse pours out some water, and helps her take a sip before putting the plastic cup back on the bed-side table. “I’ll up your pain meds a little, if your head hurts?”

Laurel lets out a little laugh, that’s so good to see I can’t help but grin too.

“It hurts like a mother-” I press my finger over her lips and smile when she looks at me remorsefully.

The nurse chuckles. “Oh we’ve heard worse cursing than that round here. From this one actually.” She points her thumb at me, then winks at Laurel. “He has one hell of a dirty mouth.”

“I know,” is Laurel’s mischievous whisper.

I laugh and as the nurse busies herself writing on her chart, I take my time in studying Laurel’s face. Her forehead’s half covered by the huge bandage, shielding the head injury. The little cuts from the windscreen shattering are healing, but she still has dark circles round her eyes. Her cheeks are pale, but there’s a hint of a pink blush in them and there’s expression in her features now, not just emptiness.

I’m so lucky to have her back here with me.

My muscles relax, and I stifle a yawn whilst her eyes find their way back to me.

“How long have you been here?” She asks. Do I lie, or do I tell her the truth? She’s going to find out eventually. I guess it should really be me telling her.

“That young man has not left your side. He’s been here the whole week.” The nurse says as she puts the clipboard back in its slot at the end of the bed.

“A week?” Laurel’s voice wheezes, and she starts a little coughing fit, lifting herself off the bed so she can get it all out. I gently soothe my hand over her back until she stops and rests back against the mattress.

“You need your rest.” I say sternly to Laurel. “Could you give us time?” I ask the nurse and she sends a gentle smile our way, before leaving.

“Of course. Just hit the button if you need anything.”

There’s so much I want to ask her but I need Laurel to be feeling better for what I have to tell her.

The baby. 

It’s definitely not the time. She can hardly keep her eyes open. And she looks like she’s in so much fucking pain. I decide on a couple of hours sleep. For both of us.

“With me?” She whispers, and shifts ever so slowly to make room for me. It’s damn selfish but I ease myself onto the bed and wrap my arm rounder her shoulders, letting her rest her head on my chest. It’s not the most comfortable I’ve ever been, but I don’t care about that as I feel her laboured breathing against my side.

She’s breathing; that’s all that matters.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Laurel

I try to open my eyes but they’re so heavy. Then my mind registers the burning pain in my throat and the clawing ache in my head.

Crap, I feel like I’ve been hit by a damn truck.

A warm body moves next to me. I feel so hot but it’s comforting so I move closer to it.

“Shit, sorry.” The familiar voice mumbles next to me and I lift my eyelids to see James’ horrified expression. His eyes soften when he sees I’m awake, and he plonks himself down in the chair beside the bed with no grace whatsoever.

“It’s okay.” I swallow through the rasp in my throat that feels like tiny little pricks of glass and lift my arm to point to the water.

“Oh, sure.” He walks quickly round to the other side and picks up the cup, helping me to lift the back of my head, and take a sip. The cool liquid douses the fire just for a second.  It feels good.

“What happened?” The words croak out, so I cough to try and clear my throat.

“You came round a couple of hours ago. You don’t remember?”

“No.” I keep my head still but my eyes skitter behind James and around the room. It’s stark, bare, white walls, linoleum floors. I breathe through my nose and smell antiseptic, and I look down at the covers and the bed.

“Hospital?” I frown as I pick up my hand and see the drip attached to the back of my hand.

“Yeah.” He nods, and entwines our fingers resting on my stomach. “You were in a car accident.”

“Why are you-” I swallow and try to force more words out. It hurts but I try my hardest because I want to know everything.

“-looking at me like that?” I groan when the realisation hits me. “Someone else?” Alarm rises from my chest and must hit my eyes because James shakes his head really quickly.

“No, you were alone in the car. But Tyler was on his bike in front of you. You were following him.”

Tyler?
My mind’s fuzzy but I try my hardest to think back to what I last remember. I close my eyes and desperately sift through my memories to the last ones I remember. I woke up to noises in the house. They were coming from Tyler’s room. The fear in his eyes. His grip on my arms, pushing me back onto the bed. His panic and regret when he woke up. Him leaving on his bike. Me following him in the car.

Oh my God.

“Where? Need to see him.” I ask James, who’s now looking at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. It sure feels like I have.

“Laurel, you can’t be serious. You’ve just woken from hell, how can you want to see him? He’s the whole reason you’re here.”

That’s what he thinks? Is that what everyone thinks? Tyler must believe that too. It was
my
fault. I was insensitive and reckless. I close my eyes again and flashes of the dream I had come back to me. When I open them James is looking at me curiously.

I reach out my hand to cup his cheek and the length of his stubble grazes my palm. I trace over his eyebrows, and round under his eyes, and realise how I tired he looks.

“How long?”

“A week.” He croaks out quietly. My heart jumps out my chest. He was here by my side for seven days. What must he have gone through? How could I have put him through so much pain? Guilt stabs at my chest furiously.