Sweet Affection (Truth Book 3) (39 page)

“Go ahead. It’s Buck’s Fizz without the Fizz.” I relax and my hand goes straight to the glass.

“So orange juice, then?” I laugh and unwrap the note, fingers shaking even more this time.

…The way you feel when I’m holding you in my arms

A tear falls and I can’t help it. I breathe in deeply, long slow purposeful breaths. Long enough that when I look back up I see that he’s gone, and Jen is walking through the door. Her fiery red hair curls over her shoulders, and sets off the emerald green dress perfectly. She looks gorgeous tonight. I smile with her as she lowers the tray.

“What’s going on, chick?” I whisper quietly, not wanting there to be any way James will think I’m conspiring with her.

“Just glad to have you back, safe and sound, honey.” She whispers back. I nod and try to quash the shred of disappointment. But I scold myself silently for even feeling like that for a second. I know how he feels about me. That’s all I need. I take the rose and read the note.

…How fiercely you love and protect your family and friends. You always have our backs.

That’s so true. I love them all even more after tonight. Underneath there’s a photograph that I run my fingers over as I pick it up. It was taken at James’ birthday party and we all look so happy. Missing out on weeks of your life will give you perspective, and these people are my world. She backs away with a quick wink and passes Graham and Hayley who have come out together. Graham carries the tray in his hand and Hayley hangs onto his arm, eyes full of growing excitement the closer they get. Again, I pick up the rose and read the note.

…That you’re everything I didn’t realise I wanted, until I met you.

I choke on a small sob, and blink furiously to try and stop tears falling but it’s no use. I wipe at them, frustrated I’m being so emotional, but when Graham takes Hayley’s hand and reaches down to kiss my forehead they come barrelling out with such force it takes me by surprise.

“My boy’s lucky to have you. Don’t let him forget it.”

I smile through the tears and nod my agreement. “We’re lucky to have each other.” I say unwaveringly. How can we not be? He’s the other half of me. He’s made me who I am, made me strong with his love and support. There’d be no Laurel as I am today, without James.

My mum appears from the door next and I can’t manage to hold my butt on the chair long enough for her to get to me. I’m moving everything in my lap onto the table and rushing over to her before she even gets half-way.

“Welcome home, darling.” She hugs me tightly then pulls away and thrusts the tray towards me. I carefully pick up the rose and straighten out the note.

…That you inspire me. To love freely. To make better decisions. To be the best damn boyfriend in the world so I know I’m worthy of your love.

Oh God, I’m definitely going to need some tissues. They’re freefalling down the side of my face. My mum sheds a tear too, and reaches out to wipe under my eyes with her thumb. With a small proud smile she disappears and I walk back over to the table, trying to get my thoughts and emotions under control. I’m a mess, and continue to be so when Ryan appears from behind the door and raises his eyebrows in acknowledgment. He looks so handsome, and I shake my head in disbelief that this has all been for me, when I thought he’d arranged it for himself and one lucky lady. Well, I’m the lucky lady.

I spot the tissue on the tray first and pick it up first hoping it will help with the snivelling. After dabbing at my eyes, and leaving it scrunched up on my lap, I go to the rose and note.

…How nothing feels as good as knowing I’m the reason behind your beautiful smile.

And I smile. So wide my cheeks hurt. I mouth ‘thank you’ to Ryan as he backs away and my eyes are fixed on the door. It must be ending soon and I’m desperate to see James and throw myself into his arms.

Cassie clacks across the room next. Her smile is content, peaceful, as she totters to me. She’s wearing a black satin cocktail dress with her hair gathered up high on the back of her head, and a few loose tendrils framing her face. They all look amazing tonight.

This is the last. I can tell by her soft expression that I’ll be seeing James after and I have a mixture of crazy emotions flowing through me. It’s intense, and exciting. Overwhelming and unnerving. All at the same time. My hands shake violently as I reach for the rose and little white note.

…Your uncompromising belief in us. This is it. It’s finally time for our Happily Ever After. You’ll always be mine, angel.

Cassie grabs my hand and squeezes tightly. One tear falls down her perfect make-up covered cheek leaving a pale, perfectly straight streak. Her arm comes round my neck and she pulls me into a tight hug before letting go and walking away. I reacquaint my face with the tissue and do my best to pull myself together. I want to look pretty, not a hot mess.

The seconds tick by quickly. My knee jogs up and down. I move the items from my lap and arrange them on the table to fill in the time. I smooth my hands over my thighs, pretending my dress needs straightening. I fix my hair, running my hands through it and readjusting it on my shoulders. I breathe in again, deeply. My heart pounds so hard against my chest, it seems like it’s never going to stop. But it actually does when the door opens and he walks in.

Before I can watch his face, my eyes are roaming over his body, taking in the wide expanse of his chest covered in a form fitting tux, his hands wrapped round another pink rose and the swagger in his stride, giving him that air of confidence, arrogance, charm that makes me melt inside. I get up and watch his handsome face, feeling jittery and on edge. I’m happy to be out of hospital, excited for our future together and nervous about being a mum. My hand reflexively touches my belly as I try and control my breathing. His eyes drop to my hand and I smile when the intense, passionate way they caress my stomach tells me everything I need to know.

When he stops in front of me, one side of his lip curves into that sexy grin that I love, and he offers out the rose to me. I curl my fingers round the stem and look at the last note:

…But more than any of those things, I love that you have a piece of us growing inside of you. You’re not just giving me you, and your love, but a family. A future that I didn’t even contemplate needing. Now I know, I need it more than air.

Oh goodness, he’s making me cry again. I look up at him with watery eyes and he steps forward, reaching his thumb out to wipe my tears away.

“I love
you,
Laurel. And I always will. You and this baby are everything to me.” My heart rate accelerates until I think it’s going to break out my chest when he lowers himself onto one knee. Oh my God, this is really fucking happening.

“Laurel Elizabeth Matthews, will you marry me?” He opens out the velvet box to me and I gasp when I see my mum’s engagement ring, and start crying harder. I can’t get any words out. I’m being such a
girl.
When it’s obvious I’m not going to be able to speak, he gets up and pulls me into his arms. I duck my head into his chest and think about my dreams when I was in the hospital. Seeing my dad again, and feeling how real it seemed that he was with me. And now I’m clutching the ring he lovingly picked out for my mum. It’s all too much. James strokes my back for another few minutes and when my sobs slow down, he takes my head in both of his hands.

“You okay?” He asks, concern written all over his face. I nod and wipe my eyes with the tissue I still had in my hand.

“Then can you please answer me, babe. You got me in knots here. I don’t know what you’re thinking.” He looks lost, trying to figure out what the tears actually mean. I smile, so hard my cheeks hurt and nod my head frantically.

“Yes, of course. I’ll marry you.”

There’s no need for the twinkly fairy lights now, James’ grin is enough to illuminate the room.

He places one hand gently on my stomach and the other threads through my hair as he lowers his mouth to mine.

“You’ve made me so fucking happy.” He whispers against my lips. “I love you so much.” His lips brush over mine, once, twice, three times. I’m lost to his hands, wrapping around me, holding me close. He’s my happy ever after, my fairy-tale ending, and finally we can start living it.

The End

(For now…)

Sweet Affection Playlist

I love putting my earphones in and getting completely lost in music whilst tapping away on my laptop so I thought I’d share with you some of the many songs that have played a massive part in James and Laurel’s story. Some were actually mentioned in the book and some have just given me a huge amount of inspiration.

• Beyoncé ‘Partition’
  
• Enrique ft Pitbull ‘I’m a Freak’
  
• Cheryl ft Tinie Tempah ‘Crazy Stupid Love’
  
• J. Holiday ‘Bed’
  
• John Legend ‘Stay With You’
  
• Jason Derulo ‘Stupid Love’
  
• Clean Bandit ft Jess Glynne ‘Rather Be’
  
• Trey Songz ‘Already Taken’
  
• Sevyn Streeter ft Chris Brown ‘It Won’t Stop’
  
• Keri Hilson ft Neyo and Kanye West ‘Knock You Down
  
• Dan and Shay ‘Can’t Say No’
  
• Justin Timberlake ‘Not a Bad Thing’
  
• One Republic ‘Love Runs Out’
  
• Beyoncé ft Drake ‘Mine’
  
• Trey Songz ‘Heart Attack’
  
• Sia ‘Chandelier’
  
• Jason Reeves ‘Skydive’ (Acoustic)
  
• Twin Atlantic ‘Heart and Soul’
  
• John Legend ‘Stay With You’
  
• Beyoncé ‘Halo’
  

Acknowledgements

So, I never intended to write another full novel about Laurel and James. It was always my intention to come back to them at some point because I love them, but I thought that would be far off in the future. I wasn’t expecting to still be thinking about them after Sweet Reflection and I definitely wasn’t expecting Tyler. Both things just happened, and so Sweet Affection came along but I can finally put their story to rest. They’ll still feature in the rest of the series though. I can’t let go of them completely. And I have a lot in store for Tyler!

I’d like to say a very special thank you to my husband. Without his continued support and reassurance I wouldn’t be doing what I love. There have been so many late nights and days off that I’ve ignored him completely to focus on this, but he’s always been there with words of encouragement and never-ending cups of tea. Thank you.

To Viola Estrella for a beautiful cover.

To Debra at Book Enthusiast Promotions for hosting the Cover Reveal and Blog Tour. Thank you so much for the help and guidance.

A big thank you to my beta readers, in particular, Gwen at G and the Book Divas. Her insight and words of support have made James and Laurel’s story so much better. I feel extremely lucky to have found opinions I trust.

To the amazing bloggers that give up their free time to pimp out, review and recommend indie authors, including those they haven’t even heard of before.

And finally, to all the readers who have taken a chance on reading this book, THANK YOU!

If you would like to get in touch or have any feedback at all, don’t hesitate in getting in touch!  I love to hear from readers.

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Sneak Peek

Ryan’s story, Sweet Anticipation, coming next in the Truth series (subject to change)

Chapter 1

Ryan

I remember the night I met her three years ago like it was yesterday. The bar was so busy and I’d been working my ass off for hours; sweating, running around like a blue-arsed fly. It wasn’t even easy drinks. No beers or quick shots to pour that I could sling out like an assembly line. No, we had four hen parties tearing up the place with their lewd dancing, shouting, screaming, laughing. And it was cocktails. All of the worst, most rude, crude names you could think of. If I had a pound for every female that had asked me for a Screaming Orgasm or twirled her hair and licked her lips when she eyed me under her lashes asking for a Hot Fuck, I could be sunning myself in the Bahamas right now.

I had just been wiping down the counter getting my breath back after three women had been particularly insistent. At one point I was worried they were actually going to climb across the bar to get to me. I don’t think it was necessarily me, just the fact they were off their faces, and with the hen parties taking up most of the space in the bar, I was one of a few unlucky males caught in their web. I chucked the tea towel over my shoulder and looked up. She stood there, head tilted watching me, the most perfect smile reaching her eyes. Her blonde hair flowing round her shoulders. Legs that went on for days. A black dress, fairly conservative compared to some of the things the women were wearing tonight. It didn’t show much, but hinted at every motherfuckingthing.

“Seems like they can’t keep away from you tonight.”

I grinned. I’d been told my grin caused women to do some crazy shit. It had happened before but I didn’t take advantage of that. I was no saint but I considered myself a good guy. And that included how I treated women. I was a ‘one woman guy’ until the relationship ended. And a relationship was always something I looked for. There was nothing better than having my arms wrapped round a woman that meant something to me. Sliding inside a woman who knew exactly how to please me because she knew me. Not men in general, but me. Not a quick fuck in the bathroom of a bar because it makes you feel like a man. Not that I would mind a quick fuck in the bathroom of a bar. It would just have to mean something. Other guys have called me a pussy for that. But I don’t give a fuck what people think; I live my life how I want to live it. And have done ever since I pushed off the weight of the world from my shoulders and left home. Now I’m in a little sleepy town that still has enough drama to keep you occupied, but it’s my home. It’s what I always wanted. Anonymity. Where I’m supposed to be. Here, I’m just Ryan Murphy, bar manager and sometime construction worker and I can breathe. Finally, for once in my life, I can gulp down the fresh country air and let it fill my lungs with nothing to hold me back, keep me down, keep me inside, keep me alone. I’m surrounded by real, genuine friends.