Sweet Nothings (21 page)

She kind of hated that he read her so well, and hated just as much that he was constantly there to “fix” it. But she also kind of liked it. It was nice. She’d discovered she liked sharing things with him, even if she pretended she didn’t want to. Something about the two of them talking in the evenings made sense.

It was because she hated stressing over things, she decided. Telling Nick her issues allowed her to get them out of her head and move on. It made the days end better.

But this time she wasn’t sure she wanted to go there. She hadn’t talked with him about her mother yet.

She pulled her hand from his and dried it on the towel across his shoulder, accidentally-on-purpose letting the tips of her fingers trail over his skin. “It’s your turn to talk tonight. Tell me about that space I heard you checked out on the square. It’s been a couple weeks but you haven’t mentioned signing a lease yet.”

“Haven’t managed to get any clients yet.”

He returned to the stove to turn the chicken and she saved the rolls from burning. He was making a paprika chicken dish with rice and
garlic-pepper broccoli on the side. Her mouth was watering just thinking about it. It sure beat her frozen dinners. Cooking for one was no fun.

“No need for an office if I have no clients,” he finished.

“I’m sure they’re just waiting for you to get done with this place. Wanting to see how it turns out.” The food wasn’t the only thing that smelled good. She rose up on her tiptoes behind him, steadying herself with her palms on his back, and pressed her nose to the base of his neck. He smelled like soap and man. “Mmm, you smell good.”

He reached around and patted her on the behind. “You feel good. And you’re likely right. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway. They trust me because I’m Cody’s brother, but not enough to go into a contract with me just yet. Also, I’m not sure I need an office at this point. Life is pretty laid-back here. I’ll be in Nashville so I will definitely need an office manager here, but I suspect the calls could simply be handled by cell. At least for a while.”

Joanie dropped back to her heels and ignored the little voice screaming at the thought of him leaving. She’d known this was temporary. Heck,
they
were temporary.

She scooted around beside him so she could get a good look at his face, and leaned one elbow on the counter. “Is that okay with you?” she asked. “Your other locations are bigger. Are you really prepared for a smaller operation here?”

“Sure. As long as there is
some
operation, I’m good. I just want the work. I want a reason to come see my brother and nieces more than the occasional weekend.”

He was such a family man in the making. She couldn’t imagine how he’d managed to turn into that when he’d come from an alcoholic mother and a bad home life. Joanie had learned those facts from Lee Ann after she and Cody had almost split up back in December.

Nick had come to town to find his brother, shocking Cody not only with the fact that he had not one, but two brothers, but also surprising him to learn that the woman who’d given birth to him had recently died
from liver disease. She’d apparently been a drunk for at least Nick’s whole life.

She’d sold Cody to some adoption agency, though somehow he’d ended up in the system. But she had apparently succeeded in her other attempt at selling a kid. That would be their older brother. Joanie had no idea why she’d kept Nick.

Nick worked in silence for a few minutes while Joanie moved around the kitchen, pulling out plates and silverware—they’d loaded a handful of dishes back into the kitchen after he’d finished with the cabinets. When she glanced his way, she caught his dark eyes watching her.

“Want to tell me what was bugging you a few minutes ago?” he asked.

She shook her head. He could be so pushy. “Nope.” She needed to keep the focus on him. “But you can tell me about your other brother. You hired a PI to find him, right? Any news there?”

A wry smile settled over his mouth. “Okay, sweetness, we’ll play this your way. But you know you’re going to tell me before the night’s over. And not just because I want you to.”

No, not just because he wanted her to. Which bothered her even more. She wanted to share her worries with him. She really did. She wanted to spend evenings like this, cooking and talking together. She wanted it so bad she almost cried every night when she crawled from his bed and went back to her own.

They were not in a relationship. Not a real one. They were merely sleeping together. She’d had the same arrangement with men before.

Yet not one of them had she wanted to hang around and cook dinner with.

Also, not a one of them had ever looked at her beyond the sex. None had worried what bothered her, or whether she locked her door when she went home at night.

“Your brother?” she asked, all smiles and innocence, determined to quit thinking about how nice this week had been.

Nick chuckled and leaned over to kiss her. “No news yet, but we knew the guy was backed up for a few weeks when we hired him. He came recommended, though, and given it’s been thirty years, Cody and I figured a few more weeks wouldn’t hurt.” His hand snuck under her top and stroked her stomach. “What’s your next question? I can play this game with you all night.”

She eyed him, wanting to be frustrated, but knowing he had a point. She was going to tell him what had been on her mind, but it drove her crazy to know that. Before Nick, she’d only shared those things with Lee Ann. What was so darned special about him?

He pressed one more kiss to her mouth and this time she parted her lips and he slipped inside. They got carried away for a couple minutes before he remembered he was cooking, and she remembered she was hungry.

When he turned to the stove, she thought back over what she’d been contemplating before. Would she find anything about her mother in the boxes she’d hauled home?

Though she didn’t want to get into her whole “past,” she knew he had to already know about her mother leaving. He was living at the Barn, for heaven’s sake. He’d also known about the Bigbee Curse. He had to know about Grace.

“You know my mother left when I was young, right?”

He glanced at her and simply nodded.

“Earlier… I was just wondering… why she never came back.” Geez, did that sound pathetic. “I mean, I don’t dwell on it or anything, but the thought crossed my mind that she might have contacted GiGi in the past that I didn’t know about. Then I wonder… is she still with the guy she ran off with?” Joanie shrugged. “Things like that. So it occurred to me that some of the stuff I’ve taken home with me could potentially hold answers. Or… not,” she finished lamely.

Steady brown eyes watched her carefully as he stirred the dish without looking. “You’ve heard nothing from her since she left?”

Joanie shook her head. “Not a word.”

“That had to be rough.” His understanding tone made her want to lean into him. “You were what, thirteen?”

“Somebody’s been busy,” she said, raising her eyebrows. “Who filled you in?”

“Cody.” He pulled her to him and kissed the top of her head. “Only because I asked. I wanted to know what I was up against.”

She decided not to remind him he wasn’t up against anything. Just because he rocked her world every night didn’t mean her path could so easily be changed.

He kept her against him but reached out and pulled the skillet from the burner, then he put his arms around her and began to sway back and forth as if they were slow dancing at a junior high dance. Finally, he asked, “Have you ever talked with your grandmother about it?”

“No.” She burrowed her cheek against his warm chest. “It wasn’t the first time my mother had left, so I think we both expected her to get dumped and come running back home. Like she always did. Only, this time, she didn’t come back.”

And now that Joanie thought about it, her grandmother had not seemed surprised that she hadn’t returned. GiGi had even acted from day one as if Grace’s leaving with Bill had been different. Almost immediately, she’d switched to longer hours to account for the loss of income into the household. As if she’d known Joanie’s mother wouldn’t be returning.

“Maybe you should,” Nick said. He brushed his lips across her temple.

Joanie looked up.

“Go see her,” he urged. “Ask her about it.”

“I will go see her. I’m going Tuesday. But I’m not going to ask her if she knows why her daughter left us and never came back. If we haven’t talked about it in all this time, there’s no need to now.”

“Now is the perfect time,” he urged softly. “Before it’s too late.”

His words were an unneeded reminder that she and GiGi were running out of time for a number of things.

Though Joanie hadn’t been back for another visit yet, she had continued calling to check on her grandmother. Seemed GiGi hadn’t improved much. The doctor hadn’t had anything more to report than he had the last time.

Joanie had the sudden thought that she didn’t want to wait until next Tuesday to visit. She could take an evening off from packing—and from Nick. That would probably be good for both of them.

Maybe she’d go tomorrow night. She could take the pictures of the house she’d already made. And maybe stick around a little longer, too. Last time hadn’t been so bad.

At her continued silence, Nick pulled them apart, and peered down at her. “Why not ask? You need answers.”

“And you think she has them?” Joanie stared up at him, wishing she believed that he was right. “You think she’s been sitting on reasons for two decades but for some reason she’ll come off them now?” She shook her head. “Even if she did know, she wouldn’t tell me. We don’t have that kind of relationship.”

She paused, then pulled out of his arms and muttered “anymore” as she turned away. They hadn’t had that kind of relationship for years. It had all begun going terribly wrong within the years following her mother’s exit from their lives. GiGi had become hateful and distant. Joanie had rebelled.

It had not been a good time.

And it had never improved.

Lately she’d found the distance between them bothering her. GiGi had doted on her at one point.

Joanie picked up the plates and began dishing up their meal.

“Joanie—”

“Let’s drop it, okay? She doesn’t know any more than I do. My mother left, chasing after yet one more man, and this time maybe she kept him. Apparently I wasn’t worth sticking around for, and neither was GiGi. We don’t need to bring it up again.”

“I’ll go with you if you want.”

Joanie had taken her plate and was headed to the couch they’d dragged back in from the garage earlier in the week, but stopped in the middle of the room. She faced him. “No. I just need to forget it. It’s been twenty years, and I got over it a long time ago. Had a weak moment tonight, but I won’t again. Now let’s just eat.”

Nick watched Joanie turn away and continue to the couch, ignoring him as if he wasn’t there. He grabbed his plate and two beers and at the last minute pulled the cigar box of letters from the cabinet. He kept forgetting to bring them up to her, but tonight seemed a good time for it.

Walking into the living room, he stopped dead in his tracks.

Joanie was half sitting, half lying on the couch, legs stretched out to her side, and uncomfortably propping herself up on her elbow, waiting for him to take his spot. Once he sat, she would lean into him, which matched how they’d spent the past few evenings.

Both cats were snuggled against her. Cat at her feet, not wanting to show his love too much since he was still a little irked that the new, cuter cat had invaded his territory. But Bob was wound into a compact ball in front of her stomach. It’s exactly as it had been every other night that week, but Nick realized for the first time how normal it looked. And felt.

They were spending every evening together, doing normal things. Talking, laughing, making love. Playing with their pets. But they weren’t “dating” because she didn’t date. They were just having sex. Then she was going home.

Only it was more. He knew it was.

And that surprised him as much as it would her if she paid attention to the facts.

His rib cage suddenly felt as if it were going to collapse in on his organs. And he didn’t know if that would be a good or a bad thing. Because he was falling for her. Hard.

It was going to destroy him when she dumped him.

None of the other women he’d dated had he ever felt this close to. He’d tried to make relationships last. He’d even thought he had one or two that were going somewhere. Especially when he’d dated Angela. She’d even come with a ready-made family.

But in the end, it was the idea of what they could have had together that he missed as opposed to the women.

It might just be different with Joanie, though. He was pretty damned sure of it, actually.

He shoved the thought to the back of his mind, unsure how else to play things, and eased into his spot on the couch, eyeing the blue curl that settled down on his shoulder. He was even starting to get used to her ever-changing hair. “What are we watching tonight?”

A quick smile turned his direction and his body sang hallelujah that he had her in his life for as long as he could have her. She made him happy.