Sweet Pain (The Club #18) (5 page)

“I didn’t know my mom.”

He looked at me. I had no idea where this was coming from.

“She died when I was three. Dad was a suck ass father. Most times, he forgot I was there and went to get drunk.” 

He took my hand again and led me to the couch. “Do you really want to go back to being a whore for your fixes?” 

“The hell kind of question is that?” 

“A real one.” He could see I was not in the mood to play games, but he pulled my hand away from where I was scratching my arm. “Give me a real answer. I promise I can help you with the itching and the crawling. But I want an answer.”

“No one wants to be a whore. It’s not like I was sitting on a swing in the playground thinking, you know what’s a great career? Prostitution. I think I’ll be a street walker. Oh and let’s make this even more fun, I can be a junkie on top of it.”

“You’re being absolutely truthful?”

“I have a reason to lie at this point?” I realized something. “You don’t trust me because someone else does it to you.”

“Not the street walker part. The dope fiend. The woman didn’t want to clean up. She loved being high. It was all she ever wanted to do
—
and whatever way she could find it. Nothing I did convinced her that there was so much more to live for.” His big, brown eyes stared into my soul
—
and I couldn’t keep him out. I didn’t want to keep him out. “I lost her. She got bad blow. Really bad. She was dead before I could get 911 on the phone, before I could even think to grab her and toss her in the car. And if you want me to show you how sweet pain can be, you need to quit all of it. Not even a blunt. All of it.” 

Those eyes. Strong and vulnerable at the very same time. He was asking if he could help me. And right at that moment, with my shoulder throbbing, my brain all kinds of fucked up from the half assed bender I had been on since leaving the Club, I wanted him to. 

“I don’t know you.” 

“You will. And I will know you.” 

“You’re serious. You can get me over this drug thing. And learn about the pain thing.” 

He leaned in close. “I will make you beg for it.” 

Shit. A chill ran down my spine. It wasn’t the shakes yet. “This is about sex, too, isn’t it?” 

“It’s the relief from the pain. If you agree to this, you are going to get fucked, hard and often.”

“It’s just sex.” 

“Not with me. You’re not a prostitute with me. You’re a sub. You’re my charge. And it’s never just sex.” 

Damn. The heat those words induced in my sex was nearly an inferno. It had always been just sex to me. A means to an end
—
a quick come, a quick fix, a few bucks. But this guy, this Dom, wasn’t interested in just sex. 

I looked at my fingers and this was where and when I got to choose my future. Not a lot of people got what I had at that moment. And this guy was…well. Fucking hot. Dominant. Alpha. 

Protector. 

“My brain wants me to go find something, anything that’s going to stop the dope sick. I need you to show me. Show me how much I like pain and how I can live with myself knowing I’m a freak.” 

He stood. “Do you trust me?”

Chapter 7

I didn’t know if she was going to do it. She had to trust me, and if she didn’t…

…I would drop her off at her house and try to forget her. 

I didn’t want to do that. 

The sad, sweet eyes of this girl who was trapped in a life she didn’t want stared at my outstretched hand. 

This was as important for her as it was for me. I wasn’t trying to replace Lina’s death with something. I was trying to make her death worth something in my eyes. And at the same time, Gianna was trying to decide if she wanted out, for real, for good. She was fighting a raging battle in her mind, admitting she liked pain. 

What I didn’t tell her, what I needed her to find out, was how much pleasure was going to accompany it. That’s what this was about to be. Showing her that even though she liked pain, there was so much power in owning that, and using it, and so much reward. Such a wonderful reward. 

Finally, she took my hand. “I trust you. Show me.” 

“Your safeword?” 

She smirked. “Grapefruit.” 

“Good girl. We’re going to do a scene now. That means that you’re submissive, and I’m your Sir. Your body is going to start craving the high more and more. You need to listen to me. This isn’t going to be easy, but I will help you through the DTs and then we can start learning some more good stuff.” 

I made a mental shopping list of what I was going to have to add to my arsenal: canes, clamps
—
both nipple and clit—jute rope, and I had to talk to my old Mistress to see what else she could come up with. 

As long as Gianna stayed beyond today. 

I led her back to the bedroom. She stopped at the door. “Here? Sir?” 

“Here, darling. The Club is a fun place to play, and we will have scenes there. But right now, you need to see that I don’t need to hit you in any way to give you what you need.” 

She trembled. “The nipple things?” 

“Clamps, Gianna.” I leaned into her ear. “I have one for your clit, too. I think you’ll enjoy that.” 

She wasn’t ready to be comfortable with this, but I was going to push it. Until she uttered that safeword or I thought she was pushing too hard. 

Right now, though, the delightful torture I had for her was simple. Very simple. I shut the door and stared at her. She was a lovely little thing, curved and tucked in all the right places. 

“Strip.” 

“What?” 

“Five hits with the paddle.” 

“Oh, God, what? Sir, I don’t understand.” 

“When you disobey me, you get paddled. You questioned my directive. Strip. Get on the bed, face up. Vite, vite, darling.” 

She still hesitated, but this time did actually obey me. It was endearing to see her so shy over her body after I had spanked her ass all the way to orgasm in front of an audience. A moment later, she scrambled onto the bed and lay down, one hand over her pussy and the other arm over her breasts. While she stripped, I had pulled a few things out of the chest of drawers. 

I sat down next to her, and I could see that she was starting to get the sweats. This might work out better than I had planned. I took her hand from over her breasts and held it up above her head, looping a piece of rope over her wrists. “You are never to be embarrassed about showing me your body. I enjoy your naked skin, your pert breasts. I plan on feasting on all of it.” 

“Sir, I haven’t taken a shower…” 

“The doctor and I washed you earlier.” I put a finger to her lips when I saw her start to protest. “No. I’ve seen you naked and beaten, both good and bad. And the doctor is a trusted friend of the Club. No one will know you’re here.” The tension in her body dropped, and I moved her hand away from her sex, looping the rope around that wrist as well. I pulled them up above her head. I tightened the rope a bit and then caught her curious eye. “Your training begins now.” I yanked on the knot and the rough rope bit into her wrist. 

She gasped, jerked
—
then sighed. Immediately, Gianna looked terrified, and I ran a hand down her cheek. “Listen to me. No one outside of our safe circle will ever know that you like this. Unless you tell them, it’s not their business. Enjoy it, pretty girl. You may give me suggestions so we can learn what you like and what we have to explore.” 

The adorable sheepish look on her face won me over to her a little more. “Tighter, Sir?” 

I laughed. “I can do that.” Her nipples pearled in response to my second tug, biting the rope into her skin a little more. While she enjoyed that, I captured her ankles and secured each to a bed post, opening her pussy to me like a flower in the morning.

She got an adorably terrified look in her eyes when I snapped on the latex glove. 

“S-sir?” 

“Relax, Gia. This is protection for me. You’ll see.” I picked up a small vial and unscrewed the cap and dashed a touch onto two fingers of the gloves, pinching it ever so lightly with my thumb. I brought it to the lips that hid her clit and spread the fine powder on either side. 

The gasp she first let out was from my hand, and the one that followed was for the sensation the powder gave her. Her eyes popped open, and her face contorted a bit. “Sir! What…?” 

“Itching powder.” I grabbed the vial from the nightstand. “Let that work for a moment, darling. I’ll be right back.” 

She groaned and twitched. I headed for the attached bathroom and quickly gathered a few things: the porcelain basin, some soaps, and three washcloths. I ran the water to lukewarm, and as I was filling the basin, I heard Gianna gasp and moan. 

Itching powder hurt. If it wasn’t scratched, it started to hurt very quickly. 

I walked back to the bed, putting everything on the nightstand. Then, I pulled over a chair and sat. She turned to find me, her eyes wild, her breath heaving her breasts. “What are you thinking, darling?” 

“It hurts. I want to scratch!” 

I nodded and sat back, watching her squirm. She tried to rub it off or scratch in every way possible, and all it was doing was making it worse. I couldn’t help but smile. I did like watching this. I knew it was just the right kind of pain and just the right amount. 

“Oh, God,” she breathed. “Oh, shit.”

I let her go for another two minutes. Finally, I leaned into her ear. “And you like this, don’t you? That low shock of pain. That thrumming. Say it, Gianna. Tell me.” 

“I love it. I fucking love it.” She had barely hesitated. 

“We’re going to play some more, darling.” Not sure she heard me, I pinched her nipple and elicited another shocked gasp, followed by a moan. 

“More, please, Sir.” 

“Good girl.” Selecting another object from my nightstand, I moved to stand over her. Not kindly, I took a nipple in my gloved fingers
—
that still had itching powder on it
—
and pulled, twisting a bit. I slipped the nipple clip on and pressed it tight. She let out a little incoherent yell and arched up off the bed. Repeating the ministrations to her other breast, this time earning a small scream, I sat back and watched her. I waited just a minute more before taking the last clip in my hand. Careful not put the powder on her clit, I gathered enough of the bundle nerves of her pussy to hold a clip. She let out a rending scream at the sensation and this time her words were clear. 

“Oh, fuck yes, that feels so good!” 

I kissed her forehead as I slipped two clean fingers into her waiting tunnel and pumped slowly. She tried to press against them, but I held my pace. Her body was shaking and trembling, and I didn’t know if it was the withdrawal or if she was shaking with the sexual rush. 

“Color, darling.” 

“Green, green.” She panted, her breasts heaving. Pulling on the chains, I made them tighter and pulled on her body. “Oh God, oh shit.” 

I sat on the bed next to her, still moving slowly in and out. “Do you want to come?” 

“Fuck yes, yes, please.” 

I used my thumb to flick the clip in her pussy. She screamed, but it wasn’t enough to make her come. I moved my fingers all the way into her and hooked them around to find that sweet, soft spot inside. I pressed against it as I flicked the clip again
—
then pulled the clip off. 

The rush of blood back into her clit finished her. She came, screaming at the top of her lungs, yanking against the ropes that held her fast. Her face was glorious as she came, her eyes pressed closed in delight. 

Her cheeks were wet, but the tears were not those of sadness
—
they were those of someone who was discovering what the world could be. They were the tears of someone who was finding joy where there had only been contempt before. They were of someone blossoming under the careful, caring hand of her Master. 

Epilogue

I pulled him along. It was just as much fun to tease Sir as it was to be teased by him. 

“Gianna.” It was his Dom voice, and that was exactly what I wanted.

“Come on, come on. You’re walking like a slow poke.” 

“Darling, it’s nothing that can’t wait.” 

“I don’t want it to wait.” 

I was so excited. I shouldn’t be. We hadn’t talked enough about our futures yet. But I was ready. So very, very ready for all of it. 

The roof of the Club had become one of our favorite spots to have sex. Just sex. Nothing dirty, nothing kinky. No masochism, no dominance. Just wonderful sex under the Texas sky, and that’s why I had picked it. I stopped him in the hall and put up a finger to hold him there. “Give me two minutes, Sir. Just two.” 

The sexy man I called Sir, Master, and Nate gave me a look of impatience, but then melted into indulgence. “Hurry, darling. You know the rules.” 

I smiled and skittered out onto the roof, shedding clothes as I went. I knew the rules. In the club, he was always Sir, and he was always in charge. Other places we spent time, it could go any way we wanted at that moment. But he had been firm about Sir at the Club. I knew I was going to get paddled. 

Good
. 

I folded all the clothes I had pulled off and put them on the table next to the bed
—
bed being a loose interpretation of some of the others in the Club and at home. This was a sprung platform with a waterproof cushion on it, under a small canopy. While the roof was open and available, the cushions were topped with an extra cushion. It was a great place for a good fuck. 

But I didn’t have time for that right now. I neatened everything up and pulled up my big girl garter. Sir loved these naughty good-for-nothing outfits, and I had one of his favorites. I dropped to my knees, touched my forehead to the ground, and waited. 

The click-click-click of Sir’s shoes made its way across the roof. I loved his Club attire. Always dressed to the nines to counteract the dirty and grime he worked in during the week. 

And the first time he let me see him filthy from work still burned in my brain. I never knew how those lowlifes had
figured out
where I was that day. But when Nate had gotten home
—
once his house, now ours
—
and I wasn’t there, he had first gotten pissed that it seemed I had left. 

I hadn’t. I had finally gotten up the courage to go to the community college and try registering
—
but on the way, Melissa’s little posse found me, dragged me back to Darnell’s place, and tried to beat me up for money. Apparently, the news that my new “dealer” had money had gotten around, and they wanted a piece. 

Except Nate wasn’t a dealer and he wasn’t about to put up with their shit. He busted through that front door like the incredible Hulk, ready to yell at me. Then he saw them and completely changed tack. From what I had heard, once their bones had mended, they had left town. 

That was the first night Nate and I made love. We’d had sex, we’d fucked, we’d played scenes, but when Sir busts a door like it’s made of paper to save his little subbie, things get very different. And I made up my mind to stay with him as long as he would have me. He had collared me the very next night. I was his. 

The cement I was on was still warm from the hot sun, but it was kind of nice. I waited. 

“Gianna?” 

Abernathy was directly in front of me, waiting. I didn’t move, but I answered. “I am at the mercy of your heart, Sir. While I wear your collar, I do not have the strength of being your wife. But I will do my best to serve your child as a mother.” 

I heard him suck in a breath. “Stand up, darling.” 

I rose carefully, keeping my eyes downcast. I needed to be a perfect submissive, and I didn’t want to upset him. He tucked his fingers under my chin and raised my eyes to look in his. He suddenly seem to grow short
—
and that was when I realized he was down on one knee. 

“I am at the mercy of your heart, sweet Gianna. And I want to give you the strength of being my wife. Marry me.” 

“Yes, yes!” I practically crowed. 

He slipped the ring onto my finger and pulled me down to his chest. 

“You’re really pregnant?” 

“Yes, I am. And you really want to marry me?” 

“I’m in love with you. Of course I do.” 

“I guess we all get a happy ending.” 

Abernathy cocked his head and gave me his sexiest, most mischievous smile. “I’d call it a happy beginning.”