Sweet Sins (17 page)

             
After Mrs. Ryder’s departure, she was once again muddled with all the thoughts and reasons of why he did leave and none of her answers were good. Maybe Mrs. Ryder was right and he belonged with his wife but for her things could never be the same. She didn’t know how she could stay married whether he returned to her or not.

             
At home, she had her little baby Brent close to her. Watching his angelic face, sweet in dreams, once again saved her from a ritualistic madness that seemed to possess her in the dark hours of the night.

             
Chloe had asked her to be in a charity fashion show and she had declined because of Adam. Now, she wasn’t just unhappy, she was angry. What right had he to destroy her, to leave her so tormented when they had been so happy together? She held Brent’s soft little body close to her, grateful for her two boys.

             
“Chloe, if you still want me, I’m in. I’m just a mess when it comes to love. I should have told you I would do the show. Besides, if Renee and you will be there, it will have to be great.”

             
“Great, thanks. You know, I never wanted to say anything to you about Adam, but he is a little off. I guess he’s right for you, but all that Dylan stuff and his moodiness that would make me crazy.”

             
“I know but that’s such a small part of him, the rest is just…well…unbelievable.”

             
“Accept that he did leave you.”

             
“You’ve got a point there. You know what it’s like, Randy is still married and he’s not your conventional guy, being in a band, wearing girls’ skins. You’re not with anyone typical either.”

             
“No, neither one of us is in the best of situations where our men are concerned. I hope for both of us that things work out, especially for you because you’ve got the boys to think about.”

             
“Well, I’ll see you there and we can catch up on stuff.”

             
She was grateful to have a friend like Chloe. The just clicked from the first day they met. They had been assigned to a promotion together and had chosen to partner together in the team assignment. Ever since then they had remained close buds. Arianna had chosen her for the cigarette promotion and she had gotten to know Adam during that time. When she first met Chloe, she was surprised that such a beautiful young woman could be so shy. Most everyone she knew that endeavored to be noticed in the modeling industry displayed overtly obnoxious extraverted behavior, and she included herself in this group. They would dance on tabletops, in the streets, and act on all manner of impulsive gregarious activities.

             
While the children were in pre-school, she set about completing her usual tasks. Driving back from the grocery store, her thoughts were preoccupied with Adam and she almost didn’t see him but it was hard not to recognize his arrogant swagger. A strut like that could only belong to Danny. His legs were bulging with muscles attributed to his soccer playing, his upper body was lean and almost boy like. He was clean shaven, with slicked back short hair, and dressed like a valet had laid his clothes out for him. Danny was hard not to notice. She remembered how taken she was with him the first time she saw him at the Sam Clemens when he handed her that rose. Danny was always exercising, running; walking and she had seen him many times several months ago but not recently. Strange that she should see him now with Adam gone away.

             
“Danny, hey, Danny,” she called out as she pulled her car to the side of the road. Danny squinted and peered at her. He had his soccer ball under his arm and was carrying a backpack; she thought he might like a ride. Danny had a little trouble with the road; he had three car accidents and had lost his license for a year.

             
“Arianna, how the hell are you? Where have you been? I’ve been up at the Mark Twain many times and thought I would run into you.”

             
“I’m OK, I guess. I’ve met someone and we’ve been inseparable for quite a while, that is, until now but that’s a long story. Hop in; I’ll give you a ride. How’s the team doing?”

             
We’re doing all right, but there’s just not much interest in soccer in this area. It has never caught on nationally or locally, more’s the pity. I love it. My Dad’s cut my entitlement spending and says that if the soccer thing is not going anywhere that I either have to go back to college or get a job. That sucks.”

             
“Danny, your Dad’s spoiled you for a long time. I know that must be rough to be cut off but at least you were lucky enough to have him support you for a long time.”

             
“Hell, he’s a successful lawyer bringing in the big bucks. He could still do it; he just doesn’t think I’ll make it to play professional. He’s given up on me and that’s awful. I think I’m good enough, I just need a break.”

             
“I hope you’re right, Danny. If attitude and stamina count, you’re not lacking in any of that. Now that you’re poor, are you still throwing your change on the ground?”

             
Danny had a habit of only preferring paper money and any change he received he either used it as a tip or threw it on the ground. He said someone would find it and put it too good use.

             
“Not all of it. I save the quarters now but the rest still goes on the ground. So tell me about this guy you met. I broke up with someone also recently.”

             
“Actually, I met him at Mark Twain’s just like you. We’ve been together for months and we were talking about getting married and then complications set in, more than I really feel like going into. It just gets me upset to talk about it but we ended it in New Orleans. It was quite an adventure, driving to New Orleans on a motorcycle in the rain. I thought he would change his mind about leaving after we had this awesome time for almost a week, but he didn’t. I flew home and now I’m spending time with my boys and doing some stuff with the agency.”

             
“It’s must be fate us running into each other. I broke up with Tiffany last week, the girl I’ve been seeing. Let’s go to dinner and console each other, purely platonic.”

             
“I don’t know Danny, somehow that wouldn’t seem right even though he left me.”

             
“Come one, it’s just dinner and it will take your mind off of him for a while.”

             
“You’re right, the kids will be in Orlando this weekend going to Disney World with their dad so I’ll be alone and I don’t want that. It’s a date.”

             
“Will you wear that white dress that you had on in your modeling composite? That’s a knock out.”

             
“Yes, if you wear that black sport coat that I like.”

             
“It’s a deal, let’s go out and
style and profile
.”  This was one of Danny’s catch phrases he used and she liked it when he said it. Only he could get away with it because that’s exactly what he did. With Adam, style was a t-shirt and jeans but with Danny he looked like he just stepped off the cover of GQ. They were so completely different, she liked Danny but not in any way the type of feelings that she had with Adam.

             
When she dropped him at his house, he turned back and unexpectedly kissed her, just a slight touch of a kiss but a kiss nonetheless. So it has begun— life without him, the breaking of the bonds between them. She had never thought another man’s lips would ever touch hers again. Now, only a mere ten days since he had gone, someone had kissed her—how peculiar, how peculiar indeed!

             
Later, walking through the grocery store, she felt like life had played a trick on her. She never wanted to be with another man again. She was struggling to be brave but having had no contact with him had disillusioned her about life. She was facing the reality that he probably wasn’t coming back or if he ever did, he would not be coming back to her. She knew he wasn’t crying over her or having sleepless nights. Damn him—damn him for making her go out with Danny. Things are really over now. She missed him till her bones ached but that didn’t make him return to her. She thought he might at least send a post card, that would be harmless enough and she would know he was safe.

             
She would be in the charity fashion show this weekend and go out with Danny. Was it such a short time ago that she was with him in New Orleans, lying in his arms, saying “I love you”. Now it seemed as if it never happened or that it had happened long ago.

             
Every time the phone rang, she jumped, hoping against all odds that it was him but it was Chloe’s Mom.

             
“I’m helping Chloe organize the show and she asked me to call you. They need someone to go down to the newspaper office in one of the designer dresses and take some photos for publicity for the event. Would you be up for it?”

             
“Am I? You bet. You couldn’t have picked better timing. The boys are with their Dad and I’m available to take the trip down there. Clearwater’s OK, I don’t mind the drive.”

             
She hurriedly dressed and styled her hair with clips and faux diamond accessories. She brought props along that she always had available in case they might enhance the photo shoot. She was delighted and wished she could have called Adam to tell him her news.

             
Chloe’s Mom had brought a choice of three dresses. They were spectacular. She chose a black lace dress that was so impeccably designed it looked as if it were made for royalty. The shoot went well at the newspaper office and she was delighted Chloe had chosen her to do the shoot.

             
This time, it was Danny she phoned; she just had to tell someone. After his congratulations, he invited her to watch him at soccer practice and she agreed believing it was a healthy step in her recovery. She realized, after all, that life would go on without Adam. Perhaps there was some light ahead.

             
Saturday evening found her preparing meticulously for her date with Danny. Chloe had encouraged her to accentuate her long manicured nails with attention getting features. They looked like faux nails; they were painted with artistic designs. For modeling photos, they accentuated her hands beautifully. Jackie, a friend of Arianna’s from the agency wore light feathery gold body power and against a tan, it looked fabulous. She had stolen that idea from her. Working in the modeling industry allowed her to play at life and dress in outrageous looks.

             
Pulling into Danny’s drive, she felt good. For the moment, she refused to think about Adam.

             
“Danny, you look wonderful,” she said.

             
“Arianna, you look delicious.”

             
They stood staring at each other, each proud of their escort’s appearance. His custom white shirt was open just enough to see his lean tan hard chest. The aroma of him made her stir. He was an edible magazine cover.

             
The angel white dress she wore had a seductive slinky fit, one bare shoulder added to the allure. They were a good fit tonight. They strolled into the restaurant arm in arm.

             
“So, beautiful, what do you plan on doing now that Adam’s out of the picture?”

             
“Well, handsome, I guess I’ll just have to reach out and grab you.”

             
“Sounds good to me—I am here and he’s somewhere roaming the US and you haven’t even heard from him.”

             
“It’s hard to talk about him. It’s painful just saying his name. I’m sure you don’t feel like talking about Tiffany, do you?”

             
“No, you’re right. We won’t mention them again tonight. What else is going on with you? Are you still modeling?”

             
“Yes, every chance I get. I take anything that’s thrown at me. The Tampa Bay area is not exactly known for this industry. There’s very little out there going on except lots of promotions.”

             
“Still, it’s pretty cool that you’re doing something you like instead of having some boring 9 to 5 job like most people have.”

             
“I don’t want to ever go back to working in an office again if I can help it. Although, I know that’s unrealistic but if I can’t make a living doing this then I’d like to start my own business.”

             
“That’s the way I feel about soccer, if I’m not good enough to go pro, I don’t know what I will do. I can’t imagine myself tied down to a house payment, kids and stuff. That’s way too much responsibility—maybe in another decade or so.”

             
She felt a slow burn inside her, his words echoing Adam’s sentiments. Young men, she thought, definitely seemed more adverse to commitment and responsibilities than women. She had these commitments and although it could be daunting sometimes, she would never regret having children so young or wanting a home instead of apartment living.