Sydney Harbour Hospital: Lexi's Secret (17 page)

‘Maybe there is no one else who can take your mother’s place,’ Lexi said. ‘Maybe your father has always known that in his heart. Maybe he’s perfectly happy living with his memories of their time together.’

Sam frowned at her darkly. ‘He should’ve moved on by now.’

‘Why should he?’ she asked. ‘Is it so hard for you to realise that his love for your mother was enough to satisfy him for a lifetime?’

‘I can’t imagine loving someone like that,’ he said almost savagely. ‘It’s not what I want for myself.’

‘I feel sorry for you, Sam,’ Lexi said. ‘You’ve closed yourself off in case you get hurt. But life is all about being hurt. It’s not something we can control. There’s no switch we can turn off to stop us feeling the pain of losing someone, of loving someone so much we don’t feel we can go on without them. We grieve because we love. We might as well be dead if we didn’t feel something. It’s what makes us all human.’

Sam looked at her standing there, the angles and contours of her beautiful face cast in an ethereal glow by the moonlight. She looked like a mermaid that had come up from the depths of the sea. Her long hair had worked itself loose from the knot she had restrained it in earlier. It was lying about her shoulders and down her back in a silky tangle that his fingers itched to run through. ‘Do you love your fiancé like that?’ he asked,
hating himself for asking it, hating himself even more for wanting to know.

Her eyes moved away from his. She stood stiffly, her gaze on the dark endless sea that moved like a ripple of silk under the caress of the light late-night breeze. ‘What I feel for Matthew is nothing to do with you,’ she said.

‘So you’re still going to marry him.’

‘Is that a question or a statement?’ she asked as she turned and met his gaze, hers diamond-sharp.

‘Which would you answer with the truth?’ he asked.

She turned away from him to look back to the wrinkled black blanket of the ocean. ‘I don’t have to tell you anything,’ she said. ‘I’m just here for now. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Something casual and temporary. No strings. No feelings. Just a physical connection you could get with anybody.’

‘Not just anybody,’ he said, coming up behind her to cup her upper arms with his hands. ‘It doesn’t feel quite like this with anyone else.’

Lexi closed her eyes as she felt his body brush against hers from behind. His mouth was already at her ear lobe, his teeth tugging at her in playful little bites that sent arrows of delight down her spine. He lifted her hair off the nape of her neck and kissed her there in soft movements of his lips against her super-sensitive skin. She shivered in delight, her whole body alert to the proud jut of his erection pressing against her bottom. She leaned back into him, her head lolling to one side as he worked his magical mouth on her neck.

Did he mean it?

Was
she
the only one who made him feel like this?

Lexi didn’t know for sure but when she turned in his embrace and offered her mouth to his, she knew with
absolute certainty that she would treasure every moment of this weekend with him, for she suspected these memories would be all she would have of him once it was over.

The rest of the time out on the water with Sam was like a fantasy come to life. Sleeping in Sam’s arms at night to the gentle rocking of the yacht was like a dream come true. Waking to his caresses, to the hot urgency of his mouth and hands and surging male body had made her soar to the heights of human pleasure.

Watching the sun come up together made her feel close to Sam in a way she had not felt before. She had never seen him in such a relaxed and playful mood. It was as if he was determined to make this short time together as pleasurable for her as possible. There was no further mention of the past or her engagement. It was a no-go area they had seemed to reach by tacit agreement. Lexi was relieved for she knew she had some hard thinking to do in the days ahead, but for now she was content to treasure every precious second with him.

When the wind came up Sam taught her how to sail, showing her how to go about by ducking under the boom and reeling in the ropes. It was an exhilarating experience and one she knew she would never forget. They had a picnic on an isolated beach that Lexi hadn’t even known existed. They swam, but not for long as the water hadn’t yet warmed up enough to be comfortable, but Lexi soon grew warm again when Sam enveloped her in his arms and made love to her on the sand.

But eventually the weekend drew to a close. It had to.

Sam’s relaxed mood seemed to dissipate the closer they got to the marina on Sunday afternoon. His features
took on a cast of stone and when he smiled at something she said it didn’t reach his eyes.

Lexi watched as he steered the yacht back into its mooring position. Once it was secured and locked up he helped her step onto the marina walkway and carried her bags of shopping for her. They got to the end of the walkway and an awkward silence fell.

‘I’ll give you a lift home,’ Sam said, not looking at her.

‘No … Thanks anyway but I’d better make my own way back,’ Lexi said.

Another painful silence passed.

‘I guess I’ll see you at the hospital,’ Sam said, his expression still inscrutable.

‘Guess so,’ Lexi said, forcing brightness into her tone. ‘And the ball. I can’t believe it’s next weekend. Have you got a mask to wear?’

‘I’m working on it.’

Lexi shifted her weight from foot to foot. ‘I had a great time,’ she said, looking up at him. ‘Thanks for … for everything …’

‘Pleasure.’

Well, there had certainly been plenty of that
, Lexi thought. Her body was still tingling inside and out.

She started to walk away but Sam suddenly snagged one of her wrists and turned her back to face him. She looked into his unfathomable dark brown eyes and felt her heart trip. ‘I want to see you again,’ he said, the words low and deep as if they had been sourced from somewhere deep inside him.

Lexi moistened her suddenly dry lips. ‘Sam … This is not exactly easy for me …’

A flinty look came into his eyes. ‘What’s not easy?’
he asked. ‘Hasn’t the last day and a half proved anything to you?’

Lexi drew in an uneven breath, hope flickering inside her chest like a tiny candle flame in a stiff breeze. ‘I’m not quite sure what it is you’re offering …’

‘You know damn well what I’m offering,’ he said. ‘I’m offering you the most passionate, pleasurable experience of your life.’

‘An affair.’ It wasn’t a question or a statement but an expression of heart-wrenching disappointment. Pain hurtled through her like a cannonball, knocking over all her hopes and dreams like ninepins. He didn’t want her for ever. He never had. But in spite of the roaring passion that existed between them it still worried her to think he only wanted her now because someone else had already staked a claim.

‘I’ve always been clear on what I can and can’t give you, Lexi,’ he said. ‘I haven’t made any false promises to you and I’m not going to make them to you now.’

‘I know,’ she said on a sigh that prickled her chest. ‘I know …’

He brushed her cheek with the back of his bent knuckles, his eyes gentle and warm as they meshed with hers. ‘If ever you need a hideaway I’ll keep that cupboard empty just for you,’ he said.

Lexi gave him a bittersweet smile. ‘You do that, country boy.’ And then she picked up her bags and left to make her way home.

CHAPTER TEN

F
INN
Kennedy was just about to go home before his throbbing headache turned into a migraine when he got a call from Evie in A and E. He had been having trouble with his arm all day. He had dropped a coffee cup in the doctors’ room but thankfully no one had seen it. The pain behind his eyeballs was like dressmaking pins stabbing at him as he tried to concentrate on what Evie was saying.

‘We’ve got a post-op patient of yours in,’ she said. ‘A Mr Ian Reid with a swelling in his groin. You did a heart-valve op on him eight days ago. He’s in pain and the swelling’s getting bigger. I think you need to see him.’

Finn rubbed at his aching temple for a moment. The last thing he wanted to do was head into Theatre feeling the way he did just now. What if his arm let him down at a crucial moment? Dropping a coffee cup was one thing, severing an artery was another. ‘I’ll be down to see him in a few minutes,’ he said. ‘I have a patient in ICU I have to check on first.’

‘We’re pretty busy down here,’ Evie said. ‘The ambos have rung ahead about a stabbing coming in any minute.’

Finn ground his teeth. ‘I said I’d be down there, Evie. Just give me five minutes, OK?’

The phone slammed down in his ear.

Finn walked into the cubicle where Ian Reid was propped up in bed, having just finished a sandwich and a cup of tea. A young nurse, Kate Henderson, was just about to clear the tray away.

‘Would you like another drink, Mr Reid?’ Kate asked.

Finn glared at the nurse as he indicated for her to leave the cubicle to speak to him away from the patient. ‘How could you be so stupid as to have fed this patient?’ he roared. ‘What the hell are you thinking? He’s come in with an obvious hematoma over his femoral puncture site, he’s obviously still bleeding, he obviously needs emergency surgery, and you’re serving him high tea, for God’s sake!’

Kate blushed to the roots of her hair and her chin started to wobble uncontrollably. ‘But he was hungry, Dr Kennedy. I didn’t know he was going to Theatre.’

‘Didn’t Dr Lockheart inform you of his condition?’ Finn asked, frowning furiously.

‘Um … she mentioned to make him comfortable until you arrived,’ Kate said.

‘Comfortable?’ Finn said with a sneer. ‘Well, he’s not going to be very comfortable if he vomits when he’s anesthetised, aspirates and ends up on a ventilator in Intensive Care, is he?’

‘But I didn’t know he needed Theatre …’

‘Well, you damn well should have checked,’ Finn said. ‘Anyone with any sense and experience could tell he was in dire straits and would’ve taken the initiative to fast him. What are they teaching you lot at university?’

Kate started to cry, her shoulders shaking as she stood with her head bowed before him.

‘Oh, for pity’s sake,’ Finn said. ‘Stop acting like a child and get an orderly down here and have them get this patient up to Theatre before any more harm is done. He’ll have to have a crash induction and we’ll just have to hope to hell nothing goes wrong before we get this bleeding under control.’

Kate scurried off, still brushing at her eyes as she went.

Evie frowned and followed Finn into the office, closing the door for privacy. ‘What was that all about?’ she asked.

Finn began writing up his patient notes and didn’t even acknowledge her with a look. ‘What was what all about?’ he asked.

Evie ground her teeth as she took in his devil-may-care demeanour. ‘You had no right to speak to that young nurse like that,’ she said. ‘This is only her second day in the department. She’s still finding her feet.’

Finn scrawled his signature on the foot of the page before he cut his hard, ice-blue gaze to hers. ‘She can find her feet somewhere else,’ he said. ‘I haven’t got time to babysit silly little schoolgirls.’

‘That’s hardly fair, Finn, you know how hard it is for the new graduates these days,’ Evie said. ‘They don’t have a lot of on-the-ground experience when they come to us.’

Finn gave her a hard look. ‘Then you should be watching for slip-ups like this. It’s my name that will be dragged through the courts on a malpractice suit if something goes wrong. What the hell are you doing down here? Running a bloody crèche?’

Evie flattened her mouth in annoyance. ‘You really get off on intimidating everyone, don’t you?’ she asked.

He eyeballed her for so long the air almost started to pulse with tension. ‘You want to pick a fight, princess?’ he asked. ‘Just keep going the way you are.’

She stood her ground, even though her stomach gave a funny little wobble as his ice-pick gaze pinned hers. ‘Why do you do it, Finn? Why are you so determined to alienate everyone?’

His eyes were like stone as they held hers, his jaw just as unmalleable. ‘I’m not here to win a popularity contest.’

‘Maybe not,’ she said. ‘But it doesn’t mean you can’t demonstrate a bit of emotional intelligence from time to time, especially with younger members of staff. You’re meant to be a role model. Monkey see, monkey do, remember?’

‘Leave it, Evie,’ he said, tossing the file on the desk with an impatient flick of his hand, his forehead crisscrossed with a brooding frown.

‘No, I will not leave it, Finn,’ she said. ‘You can’t come into my department and throw your weight around, or at least not on my watch.’

His lip curled upwards in a smirk as he stepped towards her. ‘Your watch?’ he asked. ‘Since when have you been appointed Department Head?’

Evie was the only thing between him and the door and she was determined not to move until she had said her piece. But it was hard work staring him down when he was so big and so threatening and so very close. She could feel the heat coming off his body. She could smell his scent: one part aftershave and three parts potent, hard-working male. She could feel herself responding to his nearness. She could feel her skin prickling as he
sent his gaze on an indolent perusal of her body. Those Antarctic, unreachable, unreadable eyes seemed to be slowly but surely stripping her of every stitch of clothing, leaving spot fires burning in their wake. ‘I might not be a head of department but I’m responsible for the staff who work with me,’ she said, trying to keep her voice steady. ‘It’s about being a team. We’re meant to be working together, not against one another.’

Finn’s hooded gaze burned into hers. ‘You want to get out of my way, princess?’

Evie felt a warning shiver scurry down her spine like a small furry animal but she still didn’t budge. A perverse desire to get under his skin kept egging her on. ‘What are you going to do, Finn?’ she asked. ‘Throw me over your shoulder, caveman style?’

His eyes gleamed menacingly and she felt his warm breath skate over her uptilted face. ‘Now, that sounds like a plan,’ he said, planting a hand either side of her head, trapping her within the cage of his strong arms.