Sydney Harbour Hospital: Lexi's Secret (19 page)

She was so sensitised she felt every pulsing moment of Finn’s release. She felt the way his body tensed all over before that final explosive plunge into his own paradise. Her inner core felt each and every aftershock and her mouth accepted each and every earthy gasp from his.

Evie felt him slump against her, his head buried against her neck, his breathing ragged and uneven. Her hands slipped under the loose tails of his shirt, her fingertips memorising every knob of his vertebrae. He flinched as she touched him between his shoulder blades so she backed off. But then she felt the puckered flesh of the scar he had sustained during combat and her fingers stalled …

As if he sensed her hesitation he pulled back from her, his expression shuttered as he refastened his trousers.
‘You should have gone home when I told you to,’ he said.

‘I don’t like being told what to do,’ she said. ‘You should know that by now.’

‘Here,’ he said, tossing her bra and top at her. ‘Get dressed.’

Her heart sank. But what had she expected? Evie considered defying him but decided against it. Somehow having a discussion with her topless and him fully clothed didn’t really appeal. Once she was decent she turned and searched his features. Was he really so cold he could push her out the door as if nothing had happened between them just now? It might have been rough sex. It might have been rushed and raw and performed with most of their clothes still on, but it had been the best sex she’d ever had. For a brief moment she had felt a connection with him that had superseded the mere physical. She had felt his vulnerability in their passionate embrace, the way he had lost himself in her body as if she was the only one who could reach inside him and soothe and comfort the dark bleakness of his soul.

‘Let me see it,’ she said softly. ‘Let me see your scar.’

He scowled at her menacingly. ‘I’m not a freak show, Evie. You got what you came for, now get the hell out of here.’

Evie dug her heels in. Any reaction from him was better than no reaction. Red-hot anger was better than chilly indifference. ‘You got that when your brother was killed, didn’t you?’ she asked. ‘You were almost killed as well.’

His jaw clicked as he ground his teeth. ‘Get out.’

‘You feel guilty that he died instead of you,’ she went on. ‘That’s why you punish yourself by working such crazy hours. You close yourself off from everyone
because you don’t believe you deserve to be happy because you lived and he didn’t.’

She saw his hands clench into fists and a vein bulge in his neck. His eyes were blue chips of ice, hard and unyielding, distant, closed off, angry. ‘Get out before I throw you out,’ he ground out.

Evie raised her chin. ‘I think you care about people way more than you let on,’ she said. ‘Take me, for instance.’

His lip curled mockingly. ‘I just did.’

A dagger pierced her heart but she went on regardless. ‘You hate yourself for needing anyone. You keep everything and everyone on a clinical basis. We just had amazing sex and yet you just trivialised it as if it meant nothing. You cheapened it as if I was just another girl you picked up at a bar. But I’m not just another one-night stand. I’m someone who cares about you. Don’t ask me why but I do.’

He gave her a flinty look. ‘Are you done?’

Evie let out a breath. ‘You don’t believe me, do you? You don’t believe anyone can care about you. Why do you believe that? Why do you think you’re so unworthy of love?’

‘Love?’ He spat the word out as if it was acid. ‘Is that how you have to justify what we just did? You’re using the wrong four-letter word, princess. What we just did was have a good old fashioned—’

Evie closed her eyes as if that would stop her hearing the coarse word, but of course it didn’t. She opened them again to see him looking at her with that same mocking expression. She felt hurt beyond description. She was nothing to him other than a sexual outlet, one of many he had used. Their intimacy hadn’t touched him at all. She had imagined it. Her overwhelming attraction
to him had distorted her judgement. She felt used, cheap, like a piece of trash he no longer had any use for. ‘You really are a piece of work, aren’t you, Finn?’ she said with an embittered look.

He leaned indolently against the sofa, his eyes running over her lasciviously, smoulderingly. ‘You ever feel that itch again, princess, just knock on my door and I’ll gladly be of service,’ he said.

She turned for the door, wrenching it open before she threw him a glittering look over her shoulder. ‘Don’t hold your breath,’ she said, slamming the door behind her.

Finn pushed himself away from the sofa, cursing. He had just broken his own code with Evie. Evie, of all people! He should have known she wasn’t the type of woman to play by his rules. It would never be just sex with Evie Lockheart. She pushed against his boundaries in a hundred different ways with her concerned looks and soft voice and those velvet hands touching him as if he was the most fascinating specimen of manhood. For a moment there he had lost himself in her.

Totally lost himself.

Felt things that he had no right to be feeling.

He didn’t do feelings.

He didn’t do emotional connection.

He didn’t want to feel anything for her. And he certainly didn’t want her feeling anything for him. But the sex had been mind-blowing, even if it had lacked finesse. All he had wanted to do was bury himself in her and forget about everything except the way his body felt gripped tightly by hers.

And it had felt incredible.

She had met him physically in a way he had not expected. Her body had been so responsive to his. He had
felt every silky ripple of her skin, every tight spasm of her orgasm, every breathless gasp of her breath into his mouth as he’d driven them both into oblivion.

It had been much more than a meeting of bodies in the primal act of mating. He had felt the stirrings of a much deeper bonding that had terrified him. Evie had revealed her vulnerable side, citing feelings for him he had never asked for, never sought, and secretly dreaded.

He had a feeling she could see inside him, the
real
inside—the inside where the ragged edges of his soul barely held him together any more. His emotional centre had been bludgeoned in childhood and then obliterated completely the day Isaac had died.

He was dead inside, dead emotionally. But Evie with her soft hazel eyes kept stroking at the cold heart of him with her looks of concern and her questions about his health. It was as if she was determined to perform cardiac massage on his lifeless soul.

Allowing someone,
anyone
, into the locked and bolted heart of him was unthinkable. He never wanted to feel anything for anyone again. He didn’t want anyone to feel anything for him either because he was sure he would only let them down just as he had his brother.

He was used to being alone.

It was the only place where he truly felt safe.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

‘Y
OU
won’t believe the juicy piece of gossip I heard on the weekend,’ Lexi’s assistant Jane said as soon as Lexi came in on Monday morning.

Lexi kept her expression blank but her heart gave a little stumble of panic. ‘Oh?’ she said offhandedly as she leafed through some donation slips.

‘Your sister and Finn Kennedy had a blazing row in A and E,’ Jane said. ‘They tore strips off each other.’

‘So?’ Lexi said, privately releasing a sigh of relief the gossip hadn’t been about her and Sam. ‘It’s not the first time they’ve locked heads and it probably won’t be the last.’

‘Yes, but that’s not all,’ Jane said. ‘Finn had her backed up against the door in the office and it looked like he was about to kiss her. It was only because one of the staff came past that he didn’t.’

‘I still don’t think that means they’re an item,’ Lexi said.

Jane leaned forward conspiratorially. ‘Not only that. Evie went to his apartment later that night. One of the nurses who lives in the same block saw her.’

Lexi put the donation slips down and gave Jane a look of reproach. ‘That doesn’t mean anything. She might’ve gone there to talk about a patient or something, or maybe she went there to try and smooth things over.’

‘Can’t have worked ‘cause they’re still at loggerheads,’ Jane said. ‘Everyone’s talking about it. Mind you, I can see what she sees in him. He’s seriously gorgeous with that sexy stubble and that haven’t-slept-properly-in-weeks look. What woman wouldn’t want to jump into bed with him?’

Lexi had her own complicated love life to deal with without getting embroiled in her sister’s, but when she happened to run into Evie in one of the staffroom bathrooms a couple of days later it was obvious Evie had something on her mind.

‘Lexi, I want a word with you,’ Evie said, blocking the main door with her body so no one could disturb them.

‘Sure,’ Lexi said. ‘What’s up?’

Evie narrowed her eyes at her. ‘What the hell are you up to with Sam Bailey?’

Lexi felt her chest freeze in mid-inhalation. ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’

‘You don’t?’ Evie said with a raised brow. ‘Well, how about I spell it out for you? I was on late shift last night with an intern who happened to be working on his father’s boat at the weekend. He said he saw you getting on Sam’s boat on Saturday afternoon. He also said he saw you leaving it the following evening.’

Lexi chewed at the inside of her bottom lip. ‘I know it looks bad …’

‘Bad?’ Evie’s tone was incredulous. ‘Do you realise what’ll happen if this does the rounds of the hospital? You’re putting everything in jeopardy. Your engagement, your work for the transplant unit, not to mention Sam’s reputation. Do you realise that?’

‘What about you?’ Lexi said, going on the defensive. ‘Everyone is talking about you going to Finn’s apartment
late at night. Do you want to tell me what time you left or is that no one’s business but your own?’

Evie’s mouth flattened. ‘At least I’m not supposed to be marrying another man next month. You can’t have it both ways, Lexi. You have to make up your mind. Matthew doesn’t deserve this.’

‘I know, I know, but I’m so confused,’ Lexi said, fighting tears. ‘I can’t get a call through to him to even talk to him. What am I supposed to do? Send him an email or a text and tell him I’m in love with someone else?’

Evie’s shoulders dropped as she let out a sigh. ‘God, I didn’t realise things were that bad,’ she said. ‘You really love him … Sam, I mean?’

Lexi nodded miserably.

‘And what does Sam feel?’ Evie asked. ‘Does he love you?’

‘No …’ Lexi’s chin wobbled. ‘He’s never loved me.’

Evie let out another sigh and reached for Lexi, hugging her tightly. ‘Then you’ve got yourself one hell of a problem, hon,’ she said.

‘Tell me about it,’ Lexi said, and burst into tears.

The night of the ball finally arrived. The marquee at the front of the hospital looked spectacular. Starched white linen tablecloths adorned each table set with gleaming silverware and crystal glasses. Black and gold satin ribbons festooned the chairs and crystal candelabra centrepieces gave each table an old-world charm.

The press had arrived to document the event, cameras flashing everywhere just like at a Hollywood premier as the guests walked up the red carpet accompanied by the beautiful music of a string quartet.

The men were dressed in black tie suits, the women
in gorgeous evening gowns, and almost everyone had entered into the spirit of the occasion by donning a mask.

Lexi was wearing a backless silver satin gown, nipped in at the waist and floating to the floor in a small but elegant train. She had chosen a Venetian mask, which covered most of her face, and her hair she’d had professionally styled in a glamorous pile on top of her head.

Evie had arrived and had spoken briefly to Lexi but she seemed to be doing her best to avoid Finn, who looked particularly dashing in a mask that only revealed his piercing ice-blue eyes.

Lexi knew the exact moment when Sam arrived. The fine hairs on the back of her neck lifted and she swung her eyes to the entrance of the marquee where she found him looking straight at her. The slow burn of his gaze made her feel as if he was seeing right through her evening gown to the tiny strip of lace that was her only item of underwear.

He looked magnificent in a black tuxedo, and the black highwayman’s mask he was wearing gave him a devilishly sexy look that made a hot flood of desire rush over the floor of her stomach and flow tantalisingly between her thighs.

He looked away to respond to another guest who had spoken to him, and Lexi took a much-needed sip of her champagne to settle her nerves.

Other guests came in and drinks and canapés were served. Some masks had to be removed for guests to eat and drink, but they were still a great ice-breaker and everyone seemed to be having fun as they perused the silent-auction items set up along one wall of the marquee.

The evening progressed with a fork-food buffet dinner, which Lexi had specifically organised so people
could mingle rather than be stuck at one table. The dancing had already started and the music was upbeat and got even the most determined wallflowers up on their feet. Lexi could see Sam dancing with Suzy Carpenter, one of the nurses with a reputation for sleeping around. Lexi wondered if Sam would be one of Suzy’s conquests by the time the night was over. It certainly looked like that was Suzy’s goal if the way she was draping herself all over him was any indication, Lexi thought, turning away in disgust.

Lexi had so far been too busy seeing that everything ran smoothly to get on the dance floor herself, but then she heard the band strike up the opening bars of the song that had been her first dance with Sam on the night they had met five years ago. A rush of emotion filled her, and she quickly walked out of the marquee, not sure she could bear seeing Sam dance their song with someone else.

She was standing looking at the view of the harbour when she felt someone come up behind her. ‘They’re playing our song,’ Sam said, his broad shoulder brushing hers.

Lexi turned and looked up at him. ‘You remembered?’

He held out his arms for her to step into them with a crooked smile on his face. ‘How could I forget?’