Tableland (22 page)

Started the day full of confidence – determined to put the tips learnt on my course to good use but my feeling of well-being was immediately shattered by P.H. greeting me with ‘Bad news! that quote we sent to Proones has been turned down. Lumberjobs have sent in an amazingly low quote and they've accepted that.'

This is depressing news. Turned it over and over in my mind all day. Don't see how we could have got our figure any lower. Feel in thoroughly bad mood – not improved by Trev grumbling all evening about the new school and threatening not to go back there.

It must be nice to “opt out” to abandon the rat race and go and live on an island and grow vegetables, fish and swim. Was just brooding in this vein, mentally totting up my assets and wondering which hemisphere would be the most pleasant in which to live, when Julie remarked that she'd bought some polyester jersey material to make a dress for the dinner dance. Well, at least that's something to look forward to.

Smiled my way round a furniture factory this afternoon but to no avail. My perpetual grin seemed to make them ill at ease and the manager asked me, ‘What's the joke?'

Trev still grumbling and complaining about school. I'm sure I never carried on like this. He brought a leaflet home with him to the effect that a school fête would be held at the end of the month to raise money for a dry ski slope. Don't know why they feel the need for one of these – we managed quite well without one. However, Trev's class is in charge of a toy stall and all parents have been asked to contribute.

‘I'll make a fluffy toy,' Julie volunteered but I suddenly had a brainwave.

‘I'll get some off-cuts from the timber yard and we'll make some simple boats, trains, steam rollers, etc. You can give me a hand painting them up,' I said to Trev. Perhaps it'll cheer him up a bit.

Was not able to do anything about the off-cuts owing to a day's visit to various factories in the North Wales area. Thought I would give my new techniques one more chance and fixed a beaming smile on my face as I greeted the foreman and made a merry quip – the one about the dog and the rat poison. There was a deathly silence. ‘Morgan had to have his dog Bodger put down yesterday,' said one of the workers, nodding at the foreman.

Woke up with stiff arm – must have been lying in awkward position in bed. Don't think I'll be able to tackle the garden this weekend. Weather seems quite autumnal and we turned the electric fire on this evening.

Talk turned to the forthcoming dance.

‘Una's wearing black,' Julie informed me, ‘and, incidentally, she managed to pin down Anita Crow on Les' whereabouts. Apparently Les is in Hamburg.' I thanked her for this little nugget of information but said I really wasn't interested in keeping tabs on Les Crow.

Julie's busy making her dress for the dance. Red and orange material with green stripes going round. ‘A remnant from the market. I'm sure it will look very nice when it's made up.

Arm felt better this morning so gave the car a good polish but the rubbing must have strained it again as when Steve came round to suggest a game of tennis tomorrow, didn't feel able to accept.

On the way back from their tennis this morning, Steve and Alan Uppe stopped to say hello as I was retouching the outside window sills with some yellow ochre paint we'd brought from our old house. I remarked on the flaking paintwork to Steve. ‘Oh,' laughed Alan, ‘that's nothing, we've got dry rot and the house is only five years old. In fact, hello, hello, hello, what's this I see. If I'm not very much mistaken – incipient wet rot.' And to my amazement he snapped off a corner of the windowsill. Was quite speechless and only the fact that I remembered in the nick of time that he is treasurer of the Round Wheel this year prevented me from saying something very rude to him.

Think Alan realised that he'd gone a bit far. We all looked at the piece of wood in his hand and Steve came to the rescue with a good suggestion. ‘A touch of Stik ‘n' Fix will have it back on in a jiffy – just like new – Julie will never notice a thing. A first- class adhesive. We're doing a big campaign on it at the moment. I'll bring some round this afternoon – mends anything.'

‘Does it really?' asked Alan. ‘I've got several things at home that need mending. Perhaps Pete could bring it round to me after he's finished with it.'

‘It's alright with me,' said Steve.

I had somewhat recovered my cool by this time and even had the presence of mind to thank Alan for his holiday postcard from Cornwall.

‘You certainly sounded as if you were having a good time with the Spicers.'

A dark look came over his face. ‘Please don't mention it – it's rather a sore point at the moment.' He raised a hand to stop further comment on the subject.

After lunch, Steve was as good as his word and brought round a large pot of Stik ‘n' Fix.

“It's quick drying, crack defying”

‘Sticks tighter than a pressing creditor. In fact, a rhapsody in glue,' he quipped. ‘Strictly entre nous,' he said confidentially, as I reassembled the windowsill. ‘On the subject of the Uppes' holiday with the Spicers – I gather everything in the garden is not exactly rosy, so to speak. A slight contretemps has arisen. If I'm not much mistaken, from various hints Alan has let drop, it could be… but I must say no more. My lips are sealed.'

‘With Stik ‘n' Fix of course,' I said jokingly, but he ignored this.

After work, while Julie was getting the supper ready and still trying to decide whether to sign on for woodwork, floral decoration or French conversation at evening classes, I popped round the corner to Alan's with the adhesive.

Ron Spicer was gardening next door as I rang the bell of The Nest and we had a pleasant word or two until Alan ushered me indoors quickly. ‘Thanks, you're a real pal,' he said as I handed him the glue. ‘Not like some people I could mention, naming no names of course.'

‘D'you mean Ron Spicer?' I asked, coming right out with it.

‘It just goes to show how wrong you can be about people. I'll never forget what they said, never. Sue said she wasn't used to gas.'

Was growing curious by the time Sue came in. ‘I was just putting Pete in the picture re the Spicers,' Alan continued.

At the mention of the name Spicer, Sue became tight-lipped. ‘There was no need for them to use such dreadful language, and in front of the children too,' she said.

That was all I learned of the dispute as Alan suddenly changed the subject. ‘I hear you and your good lady are joining our festivities next Wednesday evening.'

‘Looking forward to it,' I said. ‘It'll be our first visit to the Station Hotel.'

‘Well, don't expect too much,' Alan replied. ‘The Baroque Room has been redecorated and I fear the worst. By the way, talking of decorating, I don't suppose you have a small stepladder you could lend me, have you?' I shook my head. ‘Never mind, I think Les Crow has one. I must remember to mention it when I see him at the dance. Ah no…' he broke off suddenly, looking confused ‘No can do. I was forgetting.' I just said ‘Ah' or some other such non-committal remark. Then Alan said, ‘He's in Spain.'

A pouring wet day. Arrived home soaked to find Julie very indignant. ‘This house is falling to pieces around my ears!' she shouted. When I asked her to explain her wild statement, she described how she had been cleaning the inside of the living room window when “a large piece of the windowsill outside suddenly just fell off – it just fell off”.

Went round to Steve's this evening as I thought he should know about the failure of Stik ‘n' Fix but he didn't seem very grateful that I had taken the trouble to inform him.

‘I never said anything about it being waterproof, now did I, be honest,' he said. ‘You can't expect miracles.'

Could sense that he didn't wish to pursue the subject so steered it round to the Uppes.

‘Alan seems very piqued with the Spicers,' I ventured to say.

‘Ah, well, let's face it, it's all a matter of Sue's culinary expertise,' Steve said with a smile.

‘How do you mean?' I asked.

‘Simply that on the cooking front Sue's not exactly Escoffier, in fact, her efforts are terrible, rotten, abysmal, disgusting… and I should know, we had a holiday cottage with them in the Lakes last year. Luckily for us, there was a little pub quite near that did simple nosh, so when Una wasn't doing the cooking we made some excuse for a quick getaway. But this cottage in Cornwall was miles from anywhere and I gather after three samples of raw potatoes and burnt tins of mince, the Spicers became rather hungry and exploded, which anyone in their right mind would have done – only Ron's choice of language was a bit strong.'

‘It all seems a bit of a storm in a teacup,' I said.

‘Ah, but have you tasted Sue's cooking? Beware! Don't you notice how Alan always looks as if he's suffering from indigestion?'

I had always put it down to catarrh.

Una appeared briefly to pop coasters under our beer mugs and, when she'd gone out again, Steve said in a hushed voice, ‘Keep off the subject of tennis if you don't mind – it's a sensitive subject with her at the moment. She missed the last match of the season, due to no fault of her own.'

‘Les Crow?' I ventured to ask.

‘Exactly so,' he said. ‘I hear on the grape vine he's in Malta and likely to be there for some time. Best not to mention his name'.

‘Count on me,' I replied. I felt I'd be glad to forget all about him.

‘Mind you, you've him to thank for these two tickets he won't be needing, for the dance on the 30th.

Found some suitable nails and nailed back the piece of windowsill. With a touch of putty to “make good” and a coat of yellow ochre, it'll be as good as new.

Julie went to enrol us for French conversation evening classes.

‘I was always rather good at French at school and it would be useful if I get a part-time job as a receptionist,' she announced.

Had to attend PTA meeting at Trev's new school this evening. It was an opportunity for the parents to meet the staff and group masters. The hall was very crowded and we had to join a queue to have two minutes' chat with the head of Tudor House – a Mr Fisher. He seemed a decent sort but didn't seem to know Trev at all, although he said the name “rang a bell”. As he said he was leaving the school at the end of the term, I suppose it doesn't really matter anyway.

Strains of “Viva L'Espana” announced to the world that the Butts were at home last night, and the usual accompaniment of car horns, singing and laughter made it impossible for us to get any sleep until the early hours. Consequently, we didn't wake up until 11.30. Was annoyed to find the morning gone as I had planned to do various things in the garden.

A number of people came to view the house next door including, surprisingly, Ron Spicer. He popped his head over the fence while I was in the midst of applying the yellow ochre and wishing I'd made a better job with the putty. ‘Good little houses, these,' he said, ‘solidly built.' I stood with my back to the sill and agreed.

‘Thinking of a change of scene?' I asked him.

‘Just looking, just looking,' he replied. ‘It must be nice having a detached house with no immediate neighbours.' Putting the Butts firmly to the back of my mind, I agreed heartily. ‘Yes, it is nice to be detached.'

Steve came over to join us. ‘We're just off to the mere for a spot of the old waterskiing. Rick Trent – he's in eye ointment – has just bought a very slick new speedboat “Shirl Girl” by name – so it's on with the rubber suits.'

‘Rather you than me,' I lied, having always rather fancied a try at waterskiing.

‘Now then, jealousy will get you nowhere,' he laughed. ‘Hurry up, Una, Kevin, Tracey.'

‘It always looks rather a dangerous sport to me,' Ron said. ‘I'm surprised more people aren't injured.'

‘It's simple when you know how – it's a knack really,' Steve explained, ‘and of course it's essential to be fit.' At this point, Una and the children appeared with a picnic, Steve's rubber suit and transistor radio and off they all went.

‘Well he's certainly fit,' I said, ‘with all that golf, squash, tennis… ‘

‘Jogging,' added Ron, ‘and I gather he's going to dry ski lessons this autumn in preparation for a winter sports holiday.'

‘It must be nice to have all that energy – one game of golf and my back starts playing up,' I said, ‘and I'm prone to tennis elbow.'

‘I know the feeling,' Ron said sympathetically. ‘Brenda's the energetic one in our house. She's been playing a bit of tennis lately and even got into one of the Cock and Bull matches. Les Crow has been giving her a lot of encouragement, but of course,' he added hurriedly, ‘he had to go off to Greece.'

Hang on, hang on, I thought, this doesn't add up – something wrong somewhere. Didn't bother to argue with him but is it my imagination or did Steve say that Les was in Malta and didn't someone mention Spain… and Hamburg? How does he get to be in four places at once?

Well, wherever he is, I hope he stays there a long, long time and I don't suppose I'm the only one who wishes that.