Take Me As I Am (10 page)

“Are you okay?” Daisy asked.

“I don’t know.”

Somewhere in the house, a timer began ringing.

“Oh, my popovers are ready. We’ll talk at dinner when your friend gets here.”

Thea sighed. George gave in to her too easily and that meant he’d have his spies monitoring her conversation with Joanna. She closed her eyes and shook her head as a lone tear trickled down her cheek. Once her protector was gone—and Joanna would be gone, that was certain—she knew George Andrews would make her pay for rejecting him.

†

“No! No, damn you, Thea. What has made you change your mind about coming with me?” Jo couldn’t believe her ears. They had just enjoyed a wonderful home cooked meal and just as she was about to impart her good news, Thea told her she couldn’t go.

“Joanna, surely it is my prerogative to change my mind,” Thea countered.

“Give me credit for some intelligence, Thea. Two hours ago, we were practically out of this town and now all of a sudden you want to stay? Give me one good fuckin’ reason.” Jo was angry at her reaction to Thea’s rejection. “Was it a prerogative or coercion that made you change your mind, Thea? That is what I want to know? Who has been here? Andrews? Reed? Or that stupid sheriff you call the law in this town?” Jo wasn’t going to mention either Reed or the sheriff, but her emotions got the better of her and she spewed it out.

Thea’s startled eyes turned to look at her. “Why do you mention Reed and what’s this about the sheriff?” Thea’s voice was full of innocence.

“Nothing, nothing that concerns you, Thea. A misunderstanding, that’s all.” Jo, not wanting Thea to see her lie, shrugged before shifting her eyes away.

“A misunderstanding, you say? So tell me. Perhaps I can help clear up the misunderstanding.”

“What does it matter? I’m out of here in the morning and you’re coming with me. That’s the only thing there is a misunderstanding about at the moment,” Jo replied decisively.

“If you don’t trust me enough to tell me what the problem is with our sheriff then how do I know that going with you won’t cause me trouble?” Thea pointed out.

Jo glanced at her friend and was hurt at the accusation that she might be in trouble and that it would affect the younger woman. “I do trust you, Thea. However, on this one, I want you to let it go and I’ll explain everything once we are out of this fuc… this town.”

“I see. Don’t you need to go to the bar for your final night? John-Henry would be upset if you’re late.” Thea turned away.

Jo heard the words—Thea didn’t trust her. Why would she? What did she know of her? Except for once in her life, she was trying to be helpful and as usual, it was backfiring.

Fuck this town. To hell with you, too, Thea. Stay in this crummy town and marry that asshole banker.

Jo bit back the words she wanted to say.

“Yeah, I do. Can’t let down the only person in town who still wants me, now, can I?” Jo turned on her heel and left.

†

Thea, unable to stop the threatening tears, watched as Joanna left, knowing that she was the cause of her anger and despondency. Her heart was hammering, knowing that it was the end of her dreams. When Joanna mentioned the sheriff, she realized that the banker’s words were true. Joanna was in trouble and she was the only one who could help her friend. Of that, she was convinced. Thea would sacrifice her own happiness to keep Joanna safe.

She heard the door slam. “I still want you, Joanna. I still want you,” Thea whispered into the gradually dimming light in the room.

Chapter Eleven

Jo was playing to the crowd with every ounce of energy she possessed and indeed anyone who had watched her perform in the bar would think that. The frenzied performance was the best that she had ever done and it showed John-Henry that his faith in her as a performer was spot on. She was a wonderful entertainer and deserved to achieve credit for her talent. He hoped it would work out for her and Thea.

As she finished her final session in the bar, Jo moved forward through the wolf whistles and calls for encore toward the bar.

“That was magnificent, Jo. What was firing in you tonight? You’d better have some left for that live performance in Nashville. I guarantee you will be on all the billboards in a year.” John-Henry laughed watching Jo sit on a stool opposite him.

“I have lots of pent up energy that I needed to release. It was much better than going out and crashing heads with that goon of Andrews.” Jo’s voice sounded hollow even to her.

John-Henry had listened intently to the sheriff and his questions regarding a possible assault on George Andrews’ bodyguard. Jo’s description of what happened was fitting.

“Wise move. I thought Thea would have been here with you tonight?”

“No. She is otherwise pre-occupied, probably with the banker,” Jo said.

John-Henry raised his craggy eyebrows in surprise. “I thought you said the engagement was broken?”

“Ah, well, it appears that I might have been wrong on that count.” Jo shook her head. “So very wrong.”

“Does that mean you leave on your own in the morning?”

“Yeah, sure does. I was thinking I might as well finish out the night. If it’s okay with you, I’ll sit it out on the porch until the bus arrives in the morning. Any objection?” Jo asked.

“You don’t want a decent night’s rest and a shower before you travel?” John-Henry asked.

“I hardly think I’m going to be making any friends on the bus that will care about my personal habits, do you?” Jo gave him a wry look and then drank heavily from the beer he placed automatically in front of her.

“Well, let’s hope not, because after your performance it’s certain you might have a stale aroma about you.” He smiled and stroked his chin contemplating the information Jo had given him.

Jo looked at the crowd, drained her bottle, placed it carefully on the bar, walked back to the podium, and talked to the crowd around her.

“Since this is my last night, I thought I’d stick around till closing. I’ve got one more song I want to sing and then I’ll take requests.”

John-Henry listened to the impassioned words and could tell Jo was hurting when she began her song. It was then he saw Thea standing near the entrance and listening to Jo sing the last song of her own repertoire… “What made you change your mind?”

When the song ended, John-Henry watched as Thea quickly exited the bar in tears.

†

Thea was crying softly on the porch and hadn’t heard the soft footfalls of Daisy as she opened the screened door and walked out with coffee for them both. It was heart wrenching for her to see the child in pain. Whatever the trouble was, it wasn’t going to end like this. It wasn’t an option. Not for the gentle young woman who had done nothing in this life except love her father and want to help him through his woes. It had been a difficult time for her during the past five years, after the drinking and gambling took control of her father.

Now there was a little hope for her. Thea had seen something in Joanna Lackerly that brought a torch to light the flame of hope within the dear woman. By all that was holy, she wasn’t going to see it extinguished by the arrogant son of a bitch, George Andrews.

“Thea, darling, please, drink this. It will make you feel better.” Daisy passed a coffee cup to the crying woman.

Thea looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes and gave her a slight smile as she gratefully accepted the cup. “I’m not sure it will make me feel better, but thanks, Daisy.”

“Once you take a drink and tell me what’s going on, then perhaps with the coffee and the talk we can find a solution. What do you say?” Daisy grinned engagingly.

It was then that Daisy listened as Thea began her story. She learned why the banker had come to visit and later Joanna’s lack of trust in her.

“She wouldn’t tell me exactly what was going on or if anything that George said was true. If she’d only trusted me with the information, maybe we might have worked something out. All I could see was how hurt she was by my words and I let her go without a word of support.”

“So you decide that it’s in Joanna’s best interest for you to stay here and fend off Andrews. Is that it?” Daisy asked gently.

Thea blew her nose on her tissue that was sopping wet with her tears and weakly nodded. “Yes, so it would keep her out of trouble with the sheriff.”

Daisy chuckled. “If Joanna had anything to worry about on that score, do you think she would still be singing in the bar? Sheriff Smith might be in debt to Andrews but he knows the law. He’s very black and white in those circumstances, Thea, and you know it.” Daisy was certain that if they had anything substantial on the woman she would be in jail. She also knew that certain parties could get emotions running high and things could get out of hand easily and then perhaps Joanna might have a problem.

“I can’t take the chance that she might end up in jail.”

“Darling, the only thing that is going to be trouble for Joanna is when you travel with her and she has to keep
you
out of trouble.” Daisy laughed at the affronted look she received.

“I’m not going with her, Daisy. I won’t see her beaten again and I never want to see her suffer in any way because of me,” Thea said vigorously.

“Don’t you think she’s going to suffer more if she doesn’t know the truth?” Daisy countered.

“What truth is that? She wouldn’t understand my reasons.”

“Love. That’s the truth. I’ve never known anyone that didn’t understand that type of reason.”

“I can’t tell Joanna I love her, Daisy.” Thea looked as if she were agitated while trying to puzzle out the negative and positive issues in her head.

“Why not? She obviously cares about you or she wouldn’t have asked you to go with her. Would she?” Daisy had a knowing smile on her face.

“Because—”

“Because you’re afraid. My child, we are all afraid of reaching out for something that might be taken away, or never given back with equal measure. Darling, it’s worth taking that step if there’s a chance in a million that your love is returned.” Daisy wanted Thea to understand that she had choices.

“I could lose her, or even worse, she could end up in jail if I try to leave with her,” Thea whispered.

“Thea, answer one thing and only one thing, for that’s all that will matter in the end. Would you be happier going with her and taking your chances together than staying here knowing that you have no chances left? You know where that will lead.” Daisy stroked Thea’s bangs away from her eyes and saw the answer without words.

“I’ll leave you to ponder that thought, my child. Don’t forget to lock the door, whatever you decide.” Daisy got up and walked toward the screen door when Thea suddenly engulfed her in a warm hug.

“I love you, Daisy.” Thea whispered tearfully into Daisy’s neck.

Daisy shifted and hugged Thea back. “Yes, I know you do and I love you too. So drink your coffee and stop crying before this old woman joins you.”

†

Thea smiled tenderly at the retreating back of the woman who had at least given her things to think about, even if she hadn’t made a decision. After walking back to her chair, she looked toward the town. The faint strains of music floated down the street from the bar just as her mind drifted to the problems at hand.

†

Jo sat on the steps leading to the bar, her guitar by her side and her few personal possessions in the haversack at her feet in the dust. She gingerly placed her hand on her left eye and grimaced at the pain it caused. She smiled ruefully, for that pain was nothing to what she felt at leaving without Thea by her side.

The sunrise was beautiful, with gentle swirls of golden light heralding the dawn of a new day along with the fresh possibilities that lay ahead. Jo gave it a cursory glance and sighed. She waited patiently for the bus that would pass through town and take her away, part of the way to her destination—Nashville.

She’d said her good-byes to John-Henry, who had been sad to see her go but made her promise to call him if she needed any help. There was also the promise of free tickets if she made it in Nashville. Jo had laughed at his optimism. It had cheered her up and made her think of something other than her melancholy thoughts of Thea.

Lucy had surprised her at the end of the night with a short visit to say goodbye. She brought freshly made sandwiches and snacks for the journey. Jo had to wipe a tear away at that gesture. No matter how happy she felt at leaving, she would miss some good people. Once she boarded the bus, she would be leaving the nondescript town with a heavy heart. Definitely a first for her.

In the distance, on the horizon, she could see a dust cloud approaching the end of Main Street. With one last glance at the motel, she wondered if Thea had gone back there for the night. Maybe even for the rest of her life. She shook the thought away while pulling her tall frame up from the steps before stepping down onto the road, away from the building. Her arm rose to signal the approaching vehicle and picking up her bags and guitar case she looked around her and gave a wry smile.

Hell, a month ago I was cursing having that argument with Jed that brought me here. Now, I’m wondering why it is causing me so much more heartache to leave.
Her attention returned to the approaching bus, her heart too heavy to contemplate what she was about to give up.

“Could you use company on the journey?” Thea placed two battered suitcases down. Jo’s back stiffened at the sound of the voice she had never expected to hear ever again. It was like music to her starved heart. “Who says I’m going on a journey?” Jo answered with happy confidence.

“Isn’t that why you’re waiting for the bus,” Thea replied.

“Yeah, yeah, it is. Don’t know how long the journey will last though. Sure you’re up for it?” Jo still hadn’t dared turn around. She felt sure it was a trick of the early morning and she was talking to herself. The oncoming bus was about to stop any second to pick her up. No, to pick them up, she prayed.

“Yes, I’m up for it. For however long it lasts, Joanna. Even if it’s a lifetime.”

Jo heard a breath sucking in—it was hers. She turned around with a wide infectious grin that Thea returned in equal measure.

“Well, I’m not sure getting to Nashville will take a lifetime, but let’s go, shall we?”

Thea laughed and picked up her bags as the driver opened the bottom doors for them to stow their belongings.

“You know, Thea, you’re going to have to ditch the suitcases. We need to travel light.”

Jo smirked at Thea’s distressed glance at her cases. “That’s fine for now, Thea. We’ll work it out. Never fear.”

“You know that no one told Tony that I wasn’t staying at the motel. I saw him asleep in his truck parked in front of the building. I think he was on guard duty.” Thea grinned. “I don’t think I want to be him when good old George finds out I’ve gone.”

“Come on, let’s take our seats.” Jo grinned at the news. “Serves ‘em both right. The bus will be long gone before they know you’re not there.”

“Joanna, may I ask you a personal question?” Thea wrinkled her nose as she slid into a seat.

Joanna sat next to Thea and smiled. “Sure. Ask away.”

“You don’t always travel without getting a shower do you? I think that in the future you need to break that habit if you do.”

Jo laughed so loud that the two other passengers on the bus looked in her direction. “Well, you see, it was like this, Thea…” Joanna settled down next to her friend as the bus speedily left the town.