Take Me As I Am (6 page)

George called his entourage with the crook of a finger. It so happened to be the very man that had tried to buy her a drink a few weeks ago.

“Tony, find Bascome and get him to bring the champagne and two glasses. We have an engagement to celebrate. Ah, and, Tony, have Bascome give everyone a free drink in the place…the rounds are on me…especially the singer…most definitely the singer. Better still…get Bascome to invite her to our table to celebrate our good fortune once she’s done.”

Thea watched the man retreat.

“My dear, I’m sure your new
friend
will want to toast your happiness. Won’t she?” He gave her a keen glance and sneered.

Thea kept her head down. She didn’t want Joanna to hear about this from anyone but her and now thanks to the banker that was out of the question. Her heart felt as if it was breaking for she knew Joanna wouldn’t understand. No, she wouldn’t and if she analyzed her own thoughts, she didn’t understand it either.
My God, what have I done?

George placed his hand on Thea’s and gave her a satisfied smile.

With a swift movement, she slid her hand across the table and into her lap, trying to tap down the panic she was now feeling.

†

John-Henry couldn’t believe his ears. Thea had given in to Andrews’s intimidation and crushed her spirit. He had done that to many others, but not like this. He was damn sure that was the only reason that Thea relented. Anger filled him at his inability to help Thea, so she didn’t have to stoop to marrying the bastard. He retrieved the ice-cold champagne and the two flute glasses and placed them on a silver tray that he had polished for special occasions. He supposed this warranted it, but it definitely wasn’t right, at all.

“Hey, John-Henry, get a move on. The boss will be roasting my nuts if you keep him waiting. If he does that, I sure won’t let you forget it either.” Tony slammed his fist on the polished bar.

“Keep your hair on, Tony. Andrews will want it presented just so, if I know him. Waiting that extra couple of minutes isn’t going to change things any, is it?” John-Henry looked at the smug expression on Andrews face and the averted face of the young woman who had finally said yes to his proposal.

Damn shame.

“Oh. Get on with it will ya? Can’t understand why he bothers so much with the frigid bitch. Let’s face it, she isn’t exactly the warmest woman in town, don’t know anyone who has ever dated her, never mind got in her knickers. She and that singer you have make a fine pair if you ask me. She’s about as accommodating as an icicle, too.” Tony turned his narrow gaze to Jo.

John-Henry couldn’t help the small smile at the comment. Never a truer word said. “Could be, but then again icicles under the right temperature are known to thaw. It depends who offers the right temperature, I guess.”

Tony scowled. “Come on, John-Henry, I haven’t got all day. Oh, and talking of icicle lady, the boss said to get her to come to the table for a drink with them after she’s done. Boss doesn’t take kindly to
no
as an answer. You might tell her that.”

He picked up the tray and sauntered back toward George, leaving John-Henry disconcerted by the request.

Jo leisurely walked to the bar and sat down on a stool vacated by an eager ranch hand. She gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes and sat down heavily upon it. “I’ll have a beer and then I’m out of here, John-Henry, as we agreed.

John-Henry nodded. “Let me get these, give me a minute,” he said indicating the drinks he was serving. When he came back to her, he was feeling a bit sheepish and tugged at his chin. He didn’t know exactly how Jo would react when she heard the news but he had a good idea. “Sure, it’s okay with me, Jo,” he said and hesitated. “But I’ve had a personal request for your company.”

Jo raised her eyebrows. “I don’t
do
personal requests for anyone. Thought you knew that.”

“Yeah, sorry. Wrong choice of words.” John-Henry sucked in a breath. “Andrews the banker would like you to join him and Ms. Danvers to celebrate with a glass of champagne.” John-Henry watched Jo’s eyes cloud before shifting their gaze to the corner table.

“As I said, I don’t do personal requests…for anyone.” Jo moved from her stool.

“You never asked what they were celebrating.”

Okay, here it comes.

John-Henry held his breath and watched Jo raise her eyebrow again.

“Okay. What are they celebrating?”

“Andrews and Ms. Danvers have just become engaged this very evening.” He waited for her reaction.

†

Jo couldn’t believe her ears. True, earlier in her set she saw Thea deep in conversation with the man. The sight brought a decidedly ugly hatred to her gut but this this couldn’t be true. It felt that someone had punched her in the diaphragm making it difficult to breathe.

No way. No fucking way was Thea engaged to that bastard. She doesn’t even like him.

Jo could feel her breathing become ragged and everywhere she looked it felt like the walls were closing in on her. She needed to get away as quickly as possible but she needed to know why first
.
“Pull the other one, John-Henry. What would she want to marry him for?”

“I explained what the situation was to you earlier. Remember?” The man said softly. “She might not have a choice in the matter.”

“Yeah, yeah sure.” Jo gave him a strange vacant look.

“He doesn’t take kindly to people saying
no
to him you know,” John-Henry said gently.

Jo looked around in a disinterested fashion and her eyes met the young man who had gallantly offered her the stool. He couldn’t be more than a boy really.

He’s barely out of diapers in the adult world. He’ll do.

“Hey, want to join me in celebrating a friend’s engagement?” Jo flashed her impossibly long lashes at the man and grinned when he beamed at her. She knew that all the men in town had been angling to be with her and it was his lucky night to be on the receiving end.

“Sure…sure,” he stuttered, looking at her with what looked like devotion.

Jesus, do men only ever think with their dicks?

Jo snaked a long arm around his shoulders and placed a warm kiss on his surprised lips before leading him toward the corner table. Jo had practiced at keeping men attentive and the wolf whistles that accompanied her and the young man as they made a very public display of kissing on the way through the other customers, made for a very interesting sight.

†

“I see your new
friend
is proving the old saying about how free and easy these singers are with their favors.” George had a smug
I told you so
expression on his pudgy face.

Thea turned to see where he was looking and her heart stuck in her mouth as she saw Joanna kissing a man as they made their way toward the table. It was a very passionate kiss and she didn’t know how to answer the question. She wanted to refute the situation as ridiculous.

Jo and the man—a boy really—arrived at the table where Thea was sitting. Joanna’s blue eyes were cold when she looked at her and even colder when she looked at George.

“According to John-Henry, you wanted to buy me a drink.”

“Yes, that’s right. As you and my future bride appear to be friends, I thought you might want to toast our good news.”

Thea watched to see if her friend’s expression changed. It did.

Joanna gave out a howl of laughter before smiling sickly sweet at George. Her hand clutched the boy she still held. “Whatever gave you that idea? Ms. Danvers and I are merely acquaintances as we share the same building at night,” Jo said sarcastically.

“Well, in that case, what’s your poison?” Andrews asked.

Thea cringed at the situation. Her heart pounded at what she suspected was that Joanna felt betrayed. Why didn’t I tell her when I had the chance? Daisy told me that she was looking for me. Now everything good in my life is crashing around me.

“If I tell you that, I’d be dead tomorrow, now, wouldn’t I,” Joanna spit out.

“If you say so, but I was merely asking what drink you would like to have to celebrate our engagement. Isn’t that so, darling? Now, what will it be?”

Thea refused to look at either of them. She was too ashamed to look at Joanna and couldn’t stand the distaste she felt when looking at George. She cringed at George’s words and wanted to do nothing more than crawl into a ball and hide away somewhere safe. Shame filled her. She had finally given in to the pressure of the man she detested and now she let down the only person who had backed her up and wanted nothing in return. It wasn’t fair. What had she ever done in her life to make her go through this? It really was unjust.

“Yes, Mr. An…George, that’s correct.” Her voice sounded very small to her ears. She doubted that anyone heard her.

“Sorry, but,” Joanna asked the young man at her side. “What’s your name?” It was loud enough for them to hear.

The boy whispered back and Joanna grinned and gave him a swift kiss on the mouth. “Sam and I have other business. Maybe another time.” Joanna turned quickly, pulling the startled Sam with her heading out of the bar.

George turned to Thea. “Told you so, my dear. The woman didn’t even know his name. She will probably not even wait to get to a bed before she has her way with him.”

Thea tried desperately to staunch the tears and failed as they slid down her cheeks. She needed to find a way to stop the sinking feeling in her heart and picking up the champagne glass, she swallowed it all in one gulp.

Maybe if I get drunk, I will feel better. Probably not but it is worth a try.

†

Jo sank heavily down on her bed half an hour later and tried to understand why she cared so much about Thea’s engagement. It wasn’t as if they were good friends. Right? Hardly more than strangers really, but—she thought the woman had more backbone. She remembered how Thea looked sitting there next to the gloating banker. A woman who had just accepted an offer of marriage shouldn’t look sad.

Why?
Is she marrying for money?

Jo thought back to John-Henry’s words—
maybe she doesn’t have a choice
.

It was then that she realized that Thea was marrying the bastard to keep her family’s motel.

What a fuckin’ waste. Why didn’t she just go somewhere else and not marry someone she didn’t love and from the looks of it, didn’t even like much. Who would? He was a troll.

Jo managed to divert Sam, the boy she had used as a ruse to get out of the bar, who probably thought he was in for a night with her, with hollow promises of later. She wouldn’t be going through with any of them. He’d been a nice kid though, and he was too wet behind the ears to know any different. The only education he was going to get was about fickle women.

What she really needed about now was a stiff drink. She’d been keeping a bottle of scotch in the bottom of the wardrobe for such an occasion. She was pleased with herself that she hadn’t hit the bottle before now. Things had been going well—too well. After pulling out the bottle, she twisted off the cap and immediately wrinkled her nose at the aroma. She actually hated the smell, but once you got past the first drink, it grew on you.

After her fifth shot of the scotch, she heard the soft footfalls of the woman she had been thinking non-stop about since arriving back in her room. The steps slowed and Jo was sure that Thea was going to knock on the door and explain what was going on. After all, she had offered her services as protector and she was damn sure Thea needed protecting from Andrews.

The steps proceeded onward the few short yards to her room. She listened as a door creaked open. Jo closed her eyes at the sound of the door metaphorically shutting on any conversation between the two of them.

Damn woman is playing with me and she doesn’t even know it.

She reached for her half-empty glass, filled it to the brim before swallowing it in one go. The scotch, having the desired dulling effect burned her throat. Jo refilled the glass and looked at the bottle in her hand—three-quarters empty. With the next glass, she was bound to sleep.

It was time to leave this hick town and its residents. Or was it one resident in particular? “What does it matter? It is time to leave,” she murmured before passing out.

Chapter Eight

Jo had a hangover. Not a run of the mill hangover either. It was a hell of a good one and to cap it all, she looked like she had a hangover, too. Her eyes were bloodshot and as the sunlight streamed in from another glorious day, her eyelids closed at the explosion of pain it caused. The headache that twisted inside her head made her nauseous.

Normally when she’d tied one on, there was a good excuse. It usually meant she wasn’t sleeping alone. She was sure Freud would probably have something to say about that. Today, she tentatively turned, looked at the empty space beside her, and felt the enormous relief of not having to share morning platitudes with a stranger. Her ears went into bat mode as she failed to pick up any sound from the bathroom.
Thank you, God.
Jo settled her pounding head against the pillow.

Her eyes traced to the small bedside table before she squinted at the small travel clock. To her amazement, it was barely eight-o-clock in the morning. Then she grimaced, wondering if it was the next morning or if she’d slept and lost a day. In the past when drugs were part of her life, it had happened. Not in recent times though.

A debate went on in her head as she considered the pros and cons of getting out of bed and eventually decided that it was a good idea. Maybe decent coffee and a good breakfast would make her feel more human. Her stomach instantly began doing flying cartwheels as the thought registered.

With small steps, she gingerly made her way to the bathroom. She turned on the shower, and deposited herself unceremoniously under the water. It did, however, have the requisite effect of making her feel a little better. After stepping out of the shower and drying off, she rummaged around for a clean pair of jeans and a shirt.

With a sickly feeling in her stomach like a lead weight, she left her room and went toward the lobby. As she did, the reason for her overindulgence came back to her full force. She reeled at the sense of loss she felt. The last thing she wanted to do was to run into the woman who had caused her to lose herself in the bottle. Usually only men had that effect on her, although there had been a woman or two. She exited the building and slowly made her way toward the diner. At least Lucy would make sure she ate the right things to make her feel better. That is what she hoped.

†

Thea sat at her desk and looked at the numerous bills that had arrived that morning. Although she was looking at the paper, she couldn’t, no matter how hard she tried, read any of the contents. She sat back in her chair, closing her eyes. Her thoughts wandered to the guest in room five. Joanna. She had thought they might become friends. Joanna had promised her protection. Yet, she had thrown that protection to the winds and possibly the tender developing friendship, as well, last evening. It should have been so easy to tell Joanna that she had no choice in the matter. Her increasing debts for the motel would have brought about bankruptcy and then what would she have done?

Thea had no immediate family—at least none that had bothered with her in years. When had been the last time her mother had sent a note or even acknowledged her existence? Far too long, there had been no hope from that slim chance of her mother coming back into her life. The only person who had helped in recent years was Joanna. It was clear she had no means beyond her singing and that only brought enough for her to live on. How could she have helped financially, even if she wanted to? As her thoughts continued to picture the smiling face of her friend from their lunch yesterday, it was entirely too painful to imagine not having Joanna’s friendship.

What am I to do?

Hearing a sound from the lobby, Thea moved swiftly to the door leading to the lobby and stood behind it, not venturing outside. She really didn’t know what to say to Joanna the past evening, and still couldn’t think of what to say now. Oh, how she had wanted to knock on Joanna’s door and talk to her, but she had feared that she would disturb her and the young man she had taken out of the bar with her.

Nothing in this life is ever easy.

From her vantage point, she could discreetly watch Joanna and saw that the woman didn’t look her usual confident self—she looked extremely tired. Then again, it was the first time since Joanna moved into the motel that she’d ventured out of her room before mid-day. She smiled, recalling the day before when Joanna just made it for their breakfast date.

Thea was about to take her courage in her hands and face the woman when Joanna swiftly left the building. The swinging door was the only evidence that she had been there at all.

With a heavy heart, Thea went back to her desk and contemplated what would happen next.

†

Lucy watched Jo slowly make her way toward the door of the diner. Normally, the woman walked in with a buoyant step but not today. As Jo walked closer to the counter, she turned bleary eyes to Lucy and gave her a tired, defeated look.

“No need to ask if you’re feeling fine this morning.” Lucy couldn’t help the smile that tugged her lips at the scowl she received at her observation.

“If you’re so clever, what do you recommend as a cure? I’d pretty much accept anything at this moment if you can stop the queasy feeling in my stomach,” Jo said pathetically.

“What was your poison?” Lucy pointed to a stool at the counter. “Sit there.”

“Seems a popular expression around these parts and quite frankly Scotch feels like poison about now.” Jo seated herself at the stool.

“Hmmm, didn’t your mamma ever tell you to beware the after effects of the hard liquor?” Lucy tried to keep the woman’s interest for her face was turning some rather interesting colors.

“I always knew better.” Jo gave a wry glance.

“Yeah, I bet you did. I bet you were a handful for her, too?” Lucy smirked and saw the nod indicating that she was right about that.

Lucy went into the kitchen and a few minutes later came back with an interesting looking drink and placed it on the counter in front of the woman. “There you go. It’ll have you right in no time. My husband always swore it was the best hangover cure ever.”

Lucy chuckled as she watched Jo tentatively pick up the glass. When Jo turned up her nose at the smell, Lucy laughed loudly. “Hey, I never said it smelled good, did I?”

Jo pulled another face before quickly swallowing the mixture, her features contorted in revulsion.

“Jesus, Lucy, have you ever tried that?” Jo rocked back on the stool. “My stomach is wondering what is hitting it.”

“Can’t say I have, but it sure took your mind off feeling sick I would say.” Lucy smiled and turned to see who was entering the diner. Most of her regulars had already been and gone. Thea was hesitating at the doorway before going all the way into the diner.

Lucy looked at the pained expression on the blonde’s face as she looked at Jo’s back. So Daisy was right. There is something between these two. She wondered just how deep it went?

“Thea, it’s not often you come here this early in a morning.” Lucy smiled, beckoning Thea to the counter.

Lucy saw Jo stiffen when she said Thea’s name.

Thea moved closer to the counter. “That’s true but…I…well, I wanted to...” Her eyes flashed toward Jo seated silently at the counter with her back turned the other way.

Lucy decided that a standoff between the two women just wouldn’t do. “Well, it’s mighty nice to see you this fine morning. Isn’t that so, Jo?”

The prompting from Lucy made Thea give her a grateful smile as Jo scowled.

“Sure. It’s a fine morning,” Jo replied finally.

“Would you mind if I sat next to you,” Thea said in a tentative tone.

Jo never looked up. “It’s a free seat. Sit where you like.”

Lucy gave Thea a smile of encouragement. “So, what can I get you two ladies?”

Thea discreetly looked to her left.

Jo didn’t look up from her contemplation of the glass that she held.

“I’ll have bacon, hash browns, and scrambled eggs, please, Lucy,” Thea said.

Jo shifted in her chair and turn toward Thea. “Toast for me as dry as you can get it and keep the coffee coming.”

Lucy watched as Thea turned to stare at Jo and their eyes locked. “I’ll be back soon with your orders. Why don’t you two take a table?”

Lucy went into the kitchen smiling.

†

Thea twisted her hands in front of her and Joanna looked back down at the empty glass held securely in her hands.

“I guess I’ll go and sit at a table.” Thea swallowed hard. “Would you…that is…Joanna, would you care to share a table with me?” There. It was out and it was up to her friend.

Joanna concentrated on the glass in front of her. “Same as yesterday?”

Thea’s heart beat again, feeling a deep sense of relief at the rejoinder. Perhaps not all was lost. “Yeah, that would be good.” Thea slipped from the chair and moved toward the table. Everything had been so different between them when they shared the table the day before. Maybe today they could recapture that.

Jo moved from her position to join Thea at the table. “I’m leaving at the end of the week. Thought you’d want to know for the room,” Jo said.

“You’re leaving?” Thea repeated the words that brought all her hopes of a renewal of the tentative friendship come crashing in a heap at her feet. Joanna’s voice was so barren that it was hard to associate it with the singer who could make the most implausible song sound wonderful.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“It’s time to move on.” Joanna shot a look in the direction of the kitchen. “Lucy certainly is taking her time with a simple matter of dry toast.”

“I thought you liked it here?” Thea’s eyes looked to the averted profile of the beautiful woman. She couldn’t help the desolation in her voice.

“What does it matter to you? Surely you’ll be far too busy with your future to care if I stay or go. Besides, what makes you think I like this small, backwater town? It’s just like all the others I’ve experienced in the past. Why would this one be any different? It’s a means to an end, Ms. Danvers. Only a means to an end.” Jo’s tone was cold, sarcastic.

Thea looked away and tried to recover from the pain she felt at the words, especially Jo saying ‘Ms. Danvers’. It was obvious that Joanna really hadn’t cared about her at all. It was just her own loneliness and need reaching out to a figment of her imagination.

“What a fool I was to think that there was anyone in the world who did care for me other than as a prize,” she mumbled. “Well, I wish you luck and a safe journey, Ms. Lackerly.” Thea scraped back the chair and moved away from the table to escape as fast as possible. Her eyes filling with tears did not help in her navigation to the door. She couldn’t see where she was going.

Lucy edged out of the kitchen just as Thea made her tearful getaway.

“No. No. Thea, please, don’t leave.” Joanna shot out of her chair and managed to grasp Thea’s arm as she was about to open the door.

Thea, eyes brimming with tears gazed at Joanna and saw a warmer expression. “Why? Why shouldn’t I? You don’t want my company.” Her voice broke and she sobbed at the thought.

“I do. I do. Please, Thea, let’s have breakfast and you can tell me about your new protector. What do you say?”

Thea’s depression disappeared with lightning speed as she looked into Joanna’s beautiful face. “I really could do with breakfast.”

“Good, come on then. Let’s sit. Lucy is bringing our breakfast.” Joanna tugged at Thea’s arm and they went back to the table.

Lucy breezed from around the counter, placed two large platters in front of them, and smiled. “There you go, girls. Something tells me you need this meal.”

“Hey, Luc, I didn’t order this.” Joanna said. Her plate was loaded with eggs, bacon, hash browns, and tomatoes.

“I know you didn’t, but dry toast? Really, Jo, look at you. I doubt that a bitsy piece of toast is going to solve what ails you, my girl. So eat and enjoy.” Lucy laughed and walked away.

“She’s right, you know,” Thea said softly. Their eyes briefly meet before looking back at the food.

“Mmm… not so sure I can eat it,” Jo grumbled. She picked up her fork and poked at the bacon.

Thea watched, realizing that for some reason their roles had reversed. Thea felt very protective of Joanna. It was absurd. “I think it’s dead, Joanna.”

Joanna looked up and smiled ruefully before nodding. “It’s always best to check,” she said before placing a small forkful into her mouth.

Thea, finally feeling at ease, placed a more generous portion on her fork and began her meal in earnest.

Jo was feeling somewhat less queasy as she finally gave up on her breakfast, which she had tried but failed to do justice to, only managing to eat about a third of it. Now, Thea on the other hand, was entirely different. She was even mopping up the juices of the tomatoes with her toast. She had asked Lucy to provide more toast, which the owner had happily brought.

Bringing her steaming coffee cup to her lips, she sipped at the beverage and watched the younger woman eagerly decimate the final remnants on her plate. It was touch and go that Jo didn’t offer her own wasted meal to Thea. The thought itself brought about a chuckle that she couldn’t suppress.