Authors: Karen Kingsbury
“Bailey …” Tim took hold of her arm and the two of them stopped, facing each other. A group of students passed them on either
side, so Tim waited until they had a private moment. “What is it? Why are you acting like this?”
“Like what?”
“Bugged. I mean, come on. You and I both thought she’d fall flat on her face—if not literally then figuratively—as soon as
she opened her mouth. You have to admit she was good.”
“Very good.” Bailey shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just ready to talk about something else.”
His expression changed, and it was clear in his eyes that he knew what was wrong. “You’re jealous.”
“I am not. I’ve never been jealous of other girls.” Bailey was telling the truth. She shared her thoughts and feelings with
her mom, and whenever another girl had come across prettier or smarter or better somehow, her mother always convinced her
that God had only made one Bailey Flanigan, one girl exactly like her, and that no one could ever compare with the perfect
way she was—no matter who else came along. That’s why her feelings now were so foreign. “I’m not jealous. It’s just … I’m
not sure how to compete around Andi.”
“Silly.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “You’re one in a million, Bailey. You’re gorgeous and talented, and your love
for God shines in your eyes. Andi’s eyes are more … I don’t know, more ready to take on the world.” He started walking again.
“She can sing, that’s all.”
Bailey slipped the letter into her back jeans pocket and stared at the path in front of them. She wasn’t about to read something
from Cody here, with Tim walking beside her. She would save it for later when she was alone, after she’d had time to work
through her strange and unattractive feelings.
“Who’s the letter from?”
“Cody.”
Tim let that sink in for a minute. They walked past a group of students chatting on a bench and crossed a narrow service street
before he gave her a brief glance. “You two have talked?”
“No. Not at all.” Bailey was able to find a more upbeat tone. Never mind about Andi. She had no reason to be down. She’d given
the directors one of her best auditions ever. She checked Tim’s expression and saw something familiar. The same jealousy she’d
been feeling since Andi’s audition. “Once in a while Cody and I will see each other across campus between classes. That’s
about it.”
“I thought he wanted the two of you to be friends.”
“He did. At least that’s what he said.” Bailey didn’t want to talk about Cody with Tim.
“You know why he keeps his distance, right?” Tim kept his tone casual, trying not to let the jealousy in his eyes reach his
voice.
“Why?” Bailey felt a fresh smile tug at her lips.
“Because he’s in love with you, Bailey. He can’t stand to see you dating someone else.”
“Hmmm.” Bailey looked straight ahead. She didn’t let it show in her face that she thought he was right. “Now you’re an expert
on Cody?”
“I don’t know.” He sighed and slipped his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
He turned his eyes to her again. “You going to read it?”
“Later. Cody hasn’t made any effort. If he’s in love with me, he has a fine way of showing it.” She kept her tone purposefully
plain. “He probably figured he should apologize for being so distant.” She shrugged one shoulder. “I’ll read it later.”
“Okay.” The news didn’t seem to settle well with Tim. He put his arm around her shoulders again. “So how was your babysitting
job? You worked two hours, right?”
“I did.” She liked that she could fluster Tim. It meant he still cared about her, no matter how wonderful Andi was. “Ashley’s
working on a painting of her three children. She’s using a photo her dad took.”
“So she was upstairs?”
“The whole time. Cole was at school, so I only had Devin and Janessa. They were great. They might come by the set Friday when
they’re filming on campus. Ashley said she’d seen it in the paper that they’d be on location here.”
They reached Bailey’s dorm, and suddenly the air between them felt awkward. Tim looped his arm around her waist and pulled
her close. “You sure everything’s okay?”
“Of course.”
“With us, I mean.” Tim looked deep into her eyes. “You’re not mad at me.”
This was the worst part about the jealous feelings that had come over her, the fact that they left her scrambling to explain
herself. “I’m fine.” This time her smile came from her heart. “I’ll call you later.”
“Okay.” He looked like he wanted to kiss her, but there were students milling about headed one way or another, and a kiss
here in the open would be out of character for both of them. Besides, even when they went to dinner or a movie and they were
alone in his car, Tim hadn’t kissed her again, not the way he’d done after prom. They didn’t talk about it, but she could
only figure that he was trying to respect her. That or his feelings for her weren’t that strong. “I like this,” he’d told
her one day last week, “how you and I are like best friends. It’s good for now.”
She agreed, but the idea of being Tim’s good buddy didn’t exactly send chills down her spine or make her long for their next
meeting. Either way, Bailey was happy with where things were. She wasn’t sure how she really felt about Tim. Better that they
didn’t kiss more often. She wasn’t ready for that. Not while the letter from Cody was practically all she could think about.
Tim left her with a final hug and then headed off to the parking lot. He tried to park in the same place each day, because
by now, like most of the students, he’d fallen into a routine—even if part of his routine was driving home each day. When
he was gone, Bailey ran up the steps and down the hallway to her dorm. Andi was still bound to be a half hour behind her,
which meant she had time by herself to read the letter.
She sat on the edge of her bed, her heart pounding, and carefully slid her finger beneath the flap at the back of the envelope.
The letter inside was written on a plain piece of white typing paper, folded in fourths. She opened it and saw that it wasn’t
long, not nearly as long as some of his letters from war.
Her eyes found the beginning.
Bailey,
I never seem to run into you on campus, and when I do you’re always far away or in a hurry. So I’m sitting here in lab, finished
with my work, and I thought I’d take a minute and write to you. Okay, so where do I start? With the truth, I guess. I just
wish you were sitting beside me and I could tell you this in person. It might make more sense, but oh well.
Okay, so here it is. I think about you all the time, you probably didn’t know that. But every time I do, I go back to the
Fourth of July, that day at your house when I first got back in town. About a thousand times I’ve played those few minutes
over again in my mind, and I always think that I blew it somehow. Like I didn’t make myself clear.
I don’t know, Bailey. I meant what I said. You deserve someone better than me. Someone like Tim. He’s great for you. I see
you guys around campus sometimes when you don’t see me. I’m happy for you, really I am.
Out in the hallway a group of laughing kids ran by and the noise pulled her from the letter. She felt her heart beating in
her throat. What was this, this admission he was making? She wanted to savor his words, but she couldn’t wait to read the
rest, to get to the point of his letter. She picked up where she left off.
But here’s the deal … somehow things have gotten awkward between us, because now we’re not even friends.
See … I meant what I said about my time in Iraq. Thinking about you, about how close we’d gotten that last summer before I
left … that’s what kept me going. But now I’m back and we don’t even talk. I’m not sure who’s avoiding who here, but it has
to stop. I miss you too much. Even now I have to write this lousy letter because I can’t find you long enough to tell you
what I’m feeling.
Again … I don’t want to get in the way of you and Tim. That’s great, and I really mean it. But you don’t know what it’s like
walking across campus looking for your best friend, and knowing that even if you see her you might as well be half a world
away. Because at least back then you used to write to each other, but now … well, you get what I’m saying, right?
So that brings me to the real point of this letter. I heard about Campus Crusade. Their Cru meeting is this Thursday at eight.
You probably know about it already, being that you’re Bailey Flanigan and all. But just to let you know, I’ll be there, and
I’ll be looking for you. If you’re with Tim, I’ll let him sit beside you. But I won’t be far away, because this is crazy.
I feel like we’ve lost everything we had, and I feel like it’s my own fault. Okay, so there it is. I hope this makes sense.
See you Thursday, Bailey.
Finally.
Love ya, Cody.
Bailey sucked in her breath and held it, her eyes locked on that last part. The love ya part. Her entire junior year, Cody
was one of her closest friends, and all that summer they’d been inseparable. Yes, he’d lived with her family, and he’d been
very careful not to cross lines between friendship and something more. But that didn’t stop the way he looked at her, or the
way she felt when she was with him. Now, with his voice echoing in her heart and his words etched across the page, she could
only be grateful he’d made this move.
Because she missed him more than she’d admitted to anyone, even herself. She read the letter again, slower this time. When
she reached the part about finally, she felt tears in her eyes. He was right about everything. After their brief reunion that
July fourth just inside her family’s front door, things had changed between them. His adamant refusal to consider anything
other than a friendship—whether or not she was dating Tim—made her feel rejected, as if maybe he wasn’t interested in her.
Then knowing they were both on the IU campus, but that the two of them never did more than glance at each other in passing
… she had to think he had moved on in every possible way.
Until this. She held the letter close against her face and convinced herself she could smell his cologne, ever so slightly,
mixed in with the fibers of the paper. Cody cared about her! Enough that he’d taken the time to write her a letter and wait
for her after class. Enough that he knew where to find her. She carefully folded the letter, placed it back in the envelope,
and tucked it safely in the top drawer of her nightstand.
Thank you, God … for letting me know how Cody really feels. I don’t know what’ll happen after this, but at least I know he
cares. Please … let us find the friendship we once had.
As she finished praying, she breathed in deeply and realized that every jealous feeling she’d been plagued with was gone.
She was happy for Andi, happy about the auditions, and thrilled beyond words about the letter from Cody.
Now if she could only survive until Thursday.
A
NDI COULD HARDLY CONTAIN HER EXCITEMENT
. She filed into the Campus Crusade meeting room along with a dozen other kids and surveyed the auditorium. Already there
had to be three hundred students, all milling about and talking, finding various flyers on the information table and grabbing
cookies from a snack area. Andi smiled to herself. She might have her doubts about God, but she had a feeling she was going
to love these Thursday evening Cru meetings.
For now she had to find Bailey. She scanned the room but didn’t see her.
“Hi.” A tall guy with red hair and freckles held out his hand. “I’m Daniel. Welcome to Cru.”
“Thanks.” Andi flashed a smile at the guy. “You’re in my world history class, right?”
“I am. But I’m a junior. That’s a tough class for a freshman.”
“I took a lot of history in high school.” She shrugged. “Plus I was homeschooled. History interests me.”
“How’d you do on the quiz?”
She made a see saw motion with her hand. “Eighty-nine. I need to study more, but I think I’m getting it.”
Daniel led her to the table that held ten different flyers on upcoming events and small groups. “IU has one of the most active
Campus Crusade chapters anywhere. I’m a small group leader. Been involved since my freshman year.” He picked up an orange
flyer and handed it to her. “I’m in charge of the Halloween party. You definitely need to come. We’re actually bobbing for
apples this time.”
The noise level in the room was rising, so Andi had to work to hear him. She took a step closer so she didn’t have to yell.
“I haven’t been to a Halloween party before.”
“What?” Daniel looked shocked, but his eyes told her he was teasing. “You haven’t lived until you’ve been to a Halloween party.
Especially with a group like Cru.”
“Yeah, well I was a missionary kid. Grew up in the jungle.” This was one more time when she felt sheltered and different because
of her past. The feeling made her anxious to shed the image. She gave him a look that said she couldn’t help the obvious.
“Not a lot of pumpkins out there in the jungle.”
“Hmmm. I can imagine.” He laughed. “Hey, you’re here now. That’s what matters.”
Andi was ready to move on, back to the door so she wouldn’t miss Bailey. She had to tell her what she’d found out about the
auditions, and about her father’s offer for tomorrow. The news was practically bursting from her. Not only would they get
to be extras on the film, but they’d get to work with Jake Olson. Jake Olson! The guy was gorgeous, and so talented Andi could
hardly wait for tomorrow. She’d sit Daniel down and tell
him
if Bailey didn’t get here soon. She scanned the group of kids once more. People were finding their places in the auditorium.
“I better get a seat. I’m waiting for a few friends.”
“Don’t forget the Halloween party.” He winked at her.
“How could I?” She thanked him for his help and found a seat in a half-empty row near the back of the room, not far from the
door. Daniel had moved to the center up front and appeared ready to start the meeting. At the same time, seven musicians had
taken their places on the stage. Mostly musicians, but a few vocalists. Andi looked back at the door.
Come on, Bailey … get here.
But instead of her roommate, through the door walked the tall, handsome guy who’d given her the envelope for Bailey. He hadn’t
said his name, so she couldn’t call out to him, but she didn’t need to. He looked around, and after a few seconds, he saw
her and nodded his head in her direction. Daniel was tapping on his microphone, grinning at the crowd. “This is great. Best
fall turnout I’ve seen.” He beamed at the crowd, his voice loud and excited. Behind him, the music kicked in, the beginning
of
From the Inside Out
, a worship song Andi loved. The leader said,“Okay, let’s rock this place. Everyone get on your feet!”
As Andi stood with the others in her row, Cody slipped in and took the seat beside her. “Hey … you seen Bailey?”
“No.” Andi had to lean in to make herself heard. The smell of Cody’s cologne filled her senses. “She’s supposed to be here
by now.” Andi moved a little closer to him so he could hear her over the music. “I have good news for her.”
Cody looked only slightly interested. He still had one eye on the door and the rest of his attention focused on the front
of the room. “What?”
“About our audition the other day. All three of us got callbacks.”
“Callbacks?” Cody angled his head toward Andi. “Is that what you said, callbacks?”
“Right.” She giggled. Clearly this friend of Bailey’s knew nothing about theater. “We auditioned for the school’s play season
the other day. A callback means we made it to the next level, and we have a good chance of being cast.” She looked around
to make sure she wasn’t bothering anyone by talking. No one seemed to notice. The music was too loud for their voices to be
heard above the sound. She spoke near Cody’s ear again. “We’re all trying to get into
Scrooge
.” Andi tried not to stare. The boy had beautiful eyes. “I can’t wait to tell her.”
Cody looked like he wanted to focus on the music, but he leaned close once more. “Who else auditioned? You said three of you
got callbacks.”
“Me and Bailey, of course. And her boyfriend, Tim.” She assumed this friend knew about Bailey’s boyfriend. “You know Tim,
right?”
“Sort of.” Cody smiled, but something in his eyes shut off a little. He leaned in again. “I’m Cody Coleman.” He had to tilt
his head close to hers every time he spoke. “Bailey and I’ve been friends for years. I used to live with her family.”
Andi nodded and turned her attention back to the front of the room. The guy next to her used to live with Bailey’s family?
Why hadn’t Bailey said anything about him? She tried to think of a reason, but all she could come up with was the obvious.
He and Bailey were only friends, so why would she have thought to mention him? Still, he’d acted sort of funny when Tim’s
name came up. Andi sung a few lines from the song and tried to focus on the words. But it wasn’t easy with Cody beside her.
The song ended and Daniel told everyone to sit for a few minutes while he went over the announcements. Cody’s arm brushed
against hers as they sat, and once more he leaned in close. “Tim and Bailey are still pretty serious?”
Andi thought the question strange coming from someone who was supposed to know Bailey so well. “I think so.” She gave him
a look that said she wasn’t sure of all the details. “They’re together a lot, and they talk on the phone.” Andi remembered
Bailey’s words, about not knowing whether she was in love, and not being completely sure of her feelings for Tim. But she
kept that information to herself. It wasn’t her place to give Cody all the details, right? Either that or she didn’t want
Cody thinking Bailey was anything but happy in her current relationship. Andi didn’t like thinking of her motives that way,
so she tuned in once more to the front of the room.
Daniel talked about each of the flyers, the different opportunities to get closer to God and each other. “This is a great
campus, a great school.” His smile remained through everything he said. “But these days we need each other more than ever.”
A roar of hoots and hollers and applause came from the crowd. “That’s right,” the leader laughed. “Two weeks on campus and
I see you know what I’m talking about!” More appreciative noise from the crowd.
Andi tried to focus, because it was rude talking while Daniel was still going over announcements, but she was still stuck
on that last exchange with Cody. Did he have feelings for Bailey that went beyond friendship? Was that why he wanted to know
about Tim? Or was he only a big brother type, interested in the details? Andi hoped it was the latter, because out of all
the guys she’d met on campus, none had captured her attention as quickly and completely as Cody.
Up front the leader was holding up the last flyer. “Finally, is Andi Ellison in the room?” He gave an appreciative grin to
a group of guys near the front. “I met Andi before Cru. I just put her together with this last announcement. Andi’s dad is
producer Keith Ellison. You might’ve read about him in the newspaper this week. He’ll be on campus with his film crew tomorrow
and they’re looking for a few hundred extras.” Another roar of enthusiasm from the crowd. “That’s right. We’re all going to
be famous. We got a call about this just a few days ago. Andi, can you stand up?”
In a heartbeat she remembered that her dad had contacted Campus Crusade to let the kids know about tomorrow’s filming. She
stood and gave a slightly awkward wave to the rest of the room. Then just as quickly she sat back down. Whether she wanted
to be an actress or not, she was uncomfortable with all eyes on her.
“You and I’ll have to talk later, Andi. You didn’t tell me your dad was a producer.” He raised his eyebrows up a couple times.
“Maybe you can get me a speaking role.” He laughed at himself. “Seriously, guys. Any questions about tomorrow’s filming, talk
to Andi.”
Cody smiled at her, and Andi realized it was the first time he’d done that. “Your dad’s a producer?”
“Yeah. He and the crew are in town for a month or so.”
“Big screen?”
“They hope so. It depends on the studio interest after the movie’s made.” She wondered if he felt even some of the attraction
she was feeling. Even so she kept herself in check, not wanting to flirt or appear overeager. He had come looking for Bailey,
after all. Without her approval, she would never really consider the boy beside her. Up front the band was launching into
another song, pushing Andi closer again to Cody. “It’s an independent film for now. My dad and the other producer want creative
control. So no one can change the message.”
Cody looked interested, but he didn’t add anything else. Instead he looked again toward the back door, and then turned his
attention toward the music at the front of the room.
Andi sang along with the words. The song was “Mighty to Save,” another favorite of hers. It was easiest to believe the way
she used to when she sang songs like this. But even still she was only half engaged in the music. Instead she tried to remember
the walk from auditions across campus the other day, and how Bailey had reacted when she handed her the note from Cody. She’d
been hand-in-hand with Tim, and she hadn’t seemed more than slightly interested by the letter, right? Because if somehow Bailey
had feelings for Cody, Andi would be sick at the thought of letting herself be attracted to him. But Bailey hadn’t talked
about him at all, so that could only mean one thing.
She didn’t have feelings for him, not that way at least. Andi had all but convinced herself of the fact, when from the corner
of her eye, she saw a blur at the back doorway. Bailey appeared, completely out of breath. But as flustered as she looked,
she had clearly gone to the trouble of dressing nice. She had on skinny jeans and a tailored blouse, along with a pretty jacket.
Her hair still had curl in it from earlier in the day, and she’d pinned part of it up around her face.
“Hey!” She mouthed the word as she spotted Andi, and at the same time she must’ve noticed Cody beside her, because for what
felt like a long moment, Bailey froze.
Andi might’ve lived most of her life in a jungle on the other side of the world, but she could spot attraction between two
people same as any other girl. As Cody caught Bailey’s stare, their eyes held and Andi had the feeling that for those few
seconds they were the only two in the room. She willfully and discreetly moved one seat over from Cody and motioned for Bailey
to join them.
“Hi.” She spoke to both of them as she sat down between them, rolling her eyes at herself. “I needed a blue book from the
campus store and I locked my keys in my car. Some security guy had to help me.” She tossed her hands and grinned as she took
her seat. “At least he was there when I needed him. It’s pitch dark and freezing out there.” She crossed her arms and rubbed
her hands along her jacket sleeves, trying to warm up. “I thought I’d miss the whole meeting.”
“It just started.” Andi wouldn’t let herself look at Cody, not while she was still trying to figure things out. “Hey,” she
leaned in close to Bailey. “Where’s Tim? He’d love this.”
“He had a meeting with his science professor.” Bailey gave Andi a quick side hug. “He’ll be here next week. Hey, thanks for
saving me a seat.” She said nothing about Cody, didn’t raise an eyebrow or cast even a curious glance about what had led her
two friends to sit by each other. If Bailey was bothered by Andi’s nearness to Cody, she didn’t let on even a little. But
that didn’t change one very clear and unsettling fact.
The adoring way she’d looked at Cody from the moment she spotted him.