Take What You Want (68 page)

“
Have
you heard from him?” Danni asked, as they drove down main
street toward the movie theater.

Chase
didn't need further clarification. It was obvious who she was
talking about. He looked at her in the darkened cab and shook his
head. “We haven't talked since the day he left,” he
said. “A moving truck came the other day and packed-up all his
stuff, so I guess that's it.”

“
How'd
that make you feel?” she asked.

Empty.
Dead.

“
It
gave me closure,” he said. It wasn't a complete lie, but he
was omitting a lot with that simple statement. He could see her
studying him, no doubt disbelieving every word he spoke.

“
You
miss him,” she said.

“
Yeah,
I do,” he said. “But, I'm relieved to have a second
chance with you, Danni.” He reached for her hand on the seat
and lifted it to his lips. “I love you.”

“
And,
you also love him.”

Chase
had to look away at that comment. There was no way he could lie
convincingly enough for her to believe him and he didn't want to
distort the truth to her, either. If they were going to build a life
together, honesty was the only way to do it. No matter how
uncomfortable it was to talk about it.

“
Danni,
I …”

“
Chase,
it's okay,” she said. “You fell in love with him. I
understand.”

“
Do
you
really
understand?” he asked.

“
What
we both experienced with Alex was extremely intense,” Danni
said. “It would be impossible to walk away from something like
that unscathed – or unchanged.”

Chase agreed with her. “I
know it changed me,” he said.

“
Me,
too,” she said, twining their fingers together again and
squeezing.

Danni grew quiet. On some
levels, she truly did understand the bond Chase had established with
Alex. She felt a connection with Alex, too, but she wasn't ready to
put a label on it – just yet. She still wasn't ready to admit
to the feelings she had for the man she felt had walked into their
lives and turned it upside down. Good or bad, their lives had been
forever changed by Alex. All they could do now is try to figure out
a way to move forward.

“
Change
can be good, Danni,” Chase said softly.

“
It
can,” she said. “And, in some ways, I think the changes
we went through brought you and I closer. It forced us to be more
honest with each other and with our relationship.”

“
I
agree,” he said. “I'm grateful for your beautiful
open-mind. If you hadn't been so accepting of me, I'd never have
experienced being with … a man.”

Chase glanced out his
window, allowing his vision to blur just a bit. It fucking hurt so
much he couldn't bring himself to say the man's name in Danni's
presence.

“
I
spent a lot of time wishing it hadn't happened,” Danni said.
“Then, I realized if it hadn't been with Alex, it most likely
would have been with another man.” Danni disconnected their
hands and touched his muscled thigh. “I'm really glad it was
with Alex,” she said softly. “Deep down, I'm also glad I
was able to be with you some of the times it happened. It really was
beautiful to watch.”

Chase pulled his truck over
to the side of the road. The building emotion in his eyes was making
it difficult to see the road. He put the truck into park and shut
off the engine. He pressed her hand firmly to his thigh and stared
at his steering wheel.

“
Thank
you for saying his name, baby.” He inhaled deeply and dropped
his head back against the headrest of his seat. “Christ! I
want a life with you, Danni. I want that with everything I am, but I
miss the hell out of Alex. I miss simply …
being
with him. I sometimes feel like I'm losing my mind because the ache
is so great – for both of you.”

“
I
know, Chase,” she said.

He rolled his head toward
her and saw the tear tracks on her cheeks. He hated seeing her cry,
hated being the cause of it. He moved forward and pressed his lips
to her face, kissing the wet skin. Her hands slid around his neck
and tugged. Chase's lips found her mouth and covered it for a kiss
so delicate Chase thought they would levitate from it.

“
Fuck,
baby. You are so sweet,” he said, taking delicate nips at her
lips. His body was on fire, filled with a need so strong he
trembled.

Danni pulled back and held
his gaze. He saw the hunger swirling in her warm, milk chocolate
iris's, but there was no way he was going to be the one to light the
match. It would have to be her – all her, or nothing.

“
Let's
go home,” she said.

-0-

Alex breezed into Wheland's
home recording studio and tossed his cell phone onto the table in the
break room. Four sets of eyes stared at him, anxiously waiting to
see what mood their fearless band leader would present to them today.

“
Okay,
I'm here,” Alex said. “Let's get down to it.”

Wheland
was the first to speak, getting in Alex's face when he did. “It's
almost three in the afternoon! We were supposed to start recording
hours ago.”

“
Yeah,
well, I overslept,” Alex said. He pushed his way around
Wheland and reached for his guitar.

“
That
was your excuse yesterday,” Cooper said, walking toward his
drum kit.

“
Alex.
Join me in the sound booth,” Wheland said.

“
Later,”
Alex said. “Let's get to work.”

“
Sound
booth! Now!” Wheland's booming voice bounced off the walls of
the studio stopping everyone in their place.

Wheland entered the
soundproof room first and started closing the blinds on the glass
panels separating them from the studio. A moment later Alex
appeared.

“
Shut
the fucking door,” Wheland said to Alex. He pushed a chair on
wheels at Alex and motioned him with his finger to sit in it, then
spun another chair around for himself.

“
Look,
my friend,” Wheland said. “You need to get your shit
together and do it fast.”

“
I'm
doing the best I can,” Alex said, crossing his arms across his
chest.

Wheland shook his head.
“See, that's where we disagree. I've seen your best and this
isn't anywhere near it. I know you're hurting …”

“
You
know shit about what I'm feeling!” Alex screamed.

Wheland tipped back in his
chair. “I've bumped into Adam a few times,” Wheland
said. “He always asks about you. Sounds to me like he wants
to try it again with you.”

“
We've
talked,” Alex said quietly. “But, I'm not looking for
anything more – with him or anyone else. I told you, I'm done
with all of it.”

“
I
think it might help your mood.”

“
My
fucking mood is fine!” Alex roared.

Wheland
chuckled. “I can see that.”

Alex abruptly stood and
harshly pushed away his chair with the back of his powerful legs.
“I'm done talking,” he said, and stormed into the studio.

He paced the floor for a
minute collecting his thoughts, then stopped and faced his band
mates. “I want to use a full orchestra on several of the
tracks. I have Percy Hendricks working that end of things. He
should have it squared away by next week and hopefully we can get
this album back on schedule.”

And, with that bit of
instruction, Alex had the attention of his band; becoming the driving
force behind their creative genius. Many hours later, they broke for
breakfast, opting to head to the all-night diner at the bottom of the
hill atop which Wheland's house was perched.

The
five of them ate a leisurely meal together, laughing and teasing each
other like old times. Alex felt himself smiling, too, which had
become a foreign emotion for him of late. He looked around the diner
booth they occupied at the men he considered family;
brothers-in-arms, all sharing the same passion and drive to make
music. For better or worse, he loved them unconditionally, as they
loved him. His heart may still be on Martha's Vineyard, but he knew
each man that sat at the table with him now had his back – no
matter what. Thick or thin and all that bullshit, this is what
mattered most to Alex and somehow he'd make it work.

Alex slowly stood up from
the table and pulled the car keys from his pocket. “I think
I'll go get some sleep,” he said.

Wheland studied his
movements. “You okay?” he asked Alex.

Alex smiled through his
exhaustion. “Yeah, I am. I think I'm gonna be just fine,”
he said, and for the first time, he actually believed it. He waved
to the guys and walked toward the door.

When Alex pulled alongside
the security gate at his estate, he noticed Adam's Porsche parked at
the curb. He ignored the vehicle and punched in the security code on
the key pad; accelerating as the gate swung open. His eye lifted to
his rear-view mirror and watched as Adam pulled in behind him.

Shit.

Adam
parked in the driveway beside Alex and followed him to the side door
of his house. Alex could feel the man's body heat as Adam came up
behind him, felt the evidence of an erection as Adam tipped his hips
forward.

“
What
can I do for you,” Alex asked Adam without looking at him.

“
I
wanted to talk,” Adam said.

Alex turned his key in the
lock and pushed open the door. “Talk? Feels to me you've got
something else on your mind.” He stepped inside his house and
Adam was on him, pushing him up against the wall with a loud thud.

“
Talk.
Fuck. I'll take whatever you're offering,” Adam said, his hot
breath bathing Alex's face.

“
I
don't remember offering you a damn thing,” Alex said. He gave
Adam a firm shove and managed to create a little more space between
them, but it was brief.

Adam's
fingers circled Alex's wrists and gripped tightly, then he began
slowly sliding their arms up the wall behind Alex's head; the bulk of
Adam's body pinned Alex in place.

“
What
the fuck are you doing?” Alex asked.

Adam's mouth hovered over
Alex's; lips parted, sharing each breath escaping Alex's throat.

“
I
want you back, Lexi,” Adam finally said.

Alex shook his head. “Don't
call me that,” he said.

“
I'm
the
only
one allowed to call you that pet name,” Adam said with
smugness. “That says something, doesn't it?”

“
All
in the past, Adam, and for the record, I always hated the name,”
Alex said. Adam ground his hips into Alex again. “I told you,
I'm not interested,” Alex repeated.

“
And,
the hard-on in your pants is telling me a different story.”

“
Give
it up. It's not gonna happen,” Alex said.

“
You
and I have history,” Adam said.

“
And
not all of it is pretty – especially the ending,” Alex
said. He pushed himself out from under Adam and stepped away.