“Yeah. It didn’t matter what he did for a living, because I saw beyond it.”
“And you love sports.”
Jenna laughed. “I do. You bitch, you knew that.”
Tara gave her a knowing smile. “Of course I knew that.”
“It’s part of who I am, who I’ve always been. Oh, sure, I took dance classes, but that was to appease Mom. I’ve always loved sports. I loved playing basketball with Dad and Mick and Gavin out in the backyard. I love watching football and baseball and hockey.”
“So what’s the real problem?”
“The real problem is and has always been being tied to the bar. That’s the hurdle I’ve been trying to overcome. And Tyler was the one who knew it, who spotted my frustration right off and has been trying to help me find a way to have it all. It was me who was too afraid to take a shot at having everything I ever wanted.”
Tara didn’t say anything.
She laid her head in her hands. “God, I’ve made such a huge mistake. I said such shitty things to him when all he did was try to help me. He offered me the moon and I threw it back in his face and told him to butt out of my life. What am I going to do?”
“Well,” Tara said. “I can speak from experience and tell you it’s
never too late to get back what you love. But you’re going to have to be willing to take some risks, Jenna, put yourself out there and be willing to fail.”
She tried to take a sip of coffee, but her hands were shaking so she set the cup on the table.
“I love him. And you’re right. It’s time to stop hiding behind the safety of the familiar. It’s time to stop being afraid.”
She stood and pulled Tara into a hug. “Thank you for being here for me, for being my friend and my sister. I couldn’t do this without you.”
Tara drew away. “Yes, you could. That’s what you need to realize. You can do this yourself. All you have to do is go for it and be willing to fail.”
She left Tara’s house, armed with the knowledge that everything she knew about her life was about to change.
THE FIRST STEP ON JENNA’S ROAD TO CHANGE WAS TO face her parents. She asked Gavin and Mick over, too, along with Tara and Liz for support.
“You’re not going to tell us you’re pregnant, are you? Gavin asked. “Because I really like Ty and I don’t want to have to kick his ass over this.”
Jenna laughed. “I’m not pregnant. And I kicked Tyler’s ass enough. I don’t think he needs any other family members doing it.”
Her dad frowned. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing. I’ll tell you all about that later. Right now there’s something I need you all to know about me.”
“Is she a lesbian?” Mick asked Tara. “Is this one of those coming out things where she’s going to tell the whole family at once?”
Tara elbowed Mick in the ribs. “Would you just shut up?”
“Jenna isn’t a lesbian,” her mother said. “I’d have known about it years ago if that were the case.”
Jenna rolled her eyes and waited for her family to finish talking about her. “And you all wonder why I never tell you anything.”
“Go ahead, honey,” her mother said. “We’re behind you one hundred percent.”
She sucked in a breath and let it out. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”
Gavin groaned. “I have a game in six hours, Jenna.”
She ran outside and grabbed her guitar, then came in.
“A guitar?” Mick asked. “What’s that for?”
“Shut. Up.” Tara rolled her eyes at Mick.
Jenna got her guitar out of the case, then took a seat in the living room and began to play, figuring that would be better than an explanation. She sang one of the new songs she’d penned the other day, pouring her heart into the song about losing someone because you made a mistake, because you weren’t honest with your feelings. She let her soul and her emotions come through, giving free range to her voice, uncaring what anyone thought at that point because she sang that song for all she had lost, for the pain she had cost someone she cared about. When she was finished, she looked up at the stunned faces of her family, and smiled, blinking away the tears.
“Sonofabitch,” Mick finally said. “Where the hell did
that
voice come from?”
Her mother stood and ran over to her, clasped her hands around Jenna’s face. “My darling girl. You have an amazing gift.” She kissed her cheek. “And you asked for those singing lessons when you were a little girl. I just thought it was a passing fancy. I had no idea.”
She saw the tears welling in her mother’s eyes.
“I’m so sorry, Jenna. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell us?”
Jenna wiped the tears from her mom’s cheeks. “It’s okay, Mom.”
“No, it’s not. I’ll never forgive myself for not giving you what you needed then.”
“Oh, Mom. It’s really okay.” She hugged her mother.
Gavin came over, picked her up, and hugged her. “You’re a superstar, Jen. Always knew you would be someday.”
Her dad just sat there, tears streaming down his face.
“What song is that?” her mother asked.
“I wrote it.”
“She writes a lot of music,” Liz said.
She looked at her dad, who shook his head.
“Dad?”
“My baby. I had no idea.” He broke down and sobbed. Jenna laid the guitar down and went to him and hugged him.
“Don’t cry, Daddy.”
“You sing like an angel. I’m so proud of you. But your mother is right. We should have paid more attention to you and what you needed. We didn’t give you those singing lessons.”
“She wanted singing lessons?” Gavin asked with a frown.
“Yes.” Her mother swiped at the tears. “When she was younger.”
“So you’ve had this inside you all these years and you never told anyone?” Mick asked.
Jenna shook her head.
“You are such a dumbass,” Gavin said. “The only way you get what you want is to keep asking for it and keep pushing. You know how this family is. The loudest wins.”
Jenna laughed. “Yeah, I realize that now.”
“So what can we do to make sure your voice is heard?” her mother asked
She inhaled, let it out, and looked at her parents. “I want to open another Riley’s bar. A music club where people can come in and sing. And I want to sing there.”
Her dad cocked his head to the side. “Another bar?”
“Yes. I’ve done the feasibility study and we can afford it. But it means I wouldn’t run the original Riley’s anymore. I’d want to manage the new bar.”
“Do it,” her mother said. “You belong in a place where you can use the talent that God gave you.”
“How long have you been wanting to do this?” her dad asked her.
“Just…my whole life.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything before now?”
“Because Riley’s was your dream. And after your heart attack I had to make sure your dream stayed alive.”
“Aww, my little girl.” He made room on his chair for her to sit next to him, then tipped her chin with his fingers like he used to do when she was little. “Never live someone else’s dream for them. It’s not your job to chase my dream. I can do that. I’ll admit I got a little lazy and complacent, hanging out here with your mom. And knowing you were holding things down at Riley’s made it easier for me.
“I’m mad at you for not coming to us and telling us what you wanted to do, for wasting this amazing talent of yours for so long.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine, for not speaking up sooner. I was afraid I’d fail, afraid I wasn’t good enough.”
Her mother snorted. “You are definitely good enough.”
“She’s good enough for a record contract if you ask me,” Liz said.
“Maybe,” Jenna said. “Maybe not. All I want right now is to have a club where musicians and singers can come and try out their stuff. That would fulfill my dream. Anything more than that…we’ll see.”
Her mother pulled her from the chair and took her hands. “All we’ve ever wanted for any of our children is to follow their dreams and be happy. We’d be delighted for you to open up another Riley’s. We’ll make it work.”
It was like the world had opened for her, and all she could see was endless possibilities. She hugged and kissed them all.
“Thank you. You have no idea what your support means to me. But first I have to go find the man I love and see if I can repair the damage I caused. I’m afraid I might have lost him forever.”
JENNA GOT LIZ TO GET HER TICKETS TO THE FIRST playoff game tonight. She could have gotten club seats, but she wanted to be in the front row, right where the action was. She wanted Tyler to know she was there supporting him.
“These seats are freakin’ cold, you know,” Liz said. “We could be in a heated club house, with all the food and drink we want for free.”
“Bitch, bitch, bitch,” Jenna said. “You’re the one who got us seats here before, if you recall.”
“Yeah, yeah. There was a method to my madness for that game. But now? It’s just fucking cold down here.”
“You are so high maintenance. It’s a wonder my brother puts up with you.”
“The things I do for love. And your brother adores me from the tips of my expertly painted toenails to the top of my gorgeous natural red hair.”
“Don’t make me gag.”
Liz laughed. “I never much liked the thought of having to deal with family. After all, I did my best to get the hell away from my own. But you Rileys? You’re all right.”
“You love me and you know it.”
“I do. I totally do.”
The door opened and the players started filing out. Jenna froze, not sure whether to turn and look for Ty or not. In fact, the thought of slinking down in her seat sounded appealing.
Liz elbowed her. “Your coward days are over, sweet pea. Time to woman-up and let your man know you’re here for him.”
She was right. She turned to face the players, and when Ty came out, he spotted her right off.
And frowned, then turned away and walked up the stairs toward the bench.
What had she expected, a dazzling smile and two thumbs-up? She was here to support him, not the other way around, so she clapped and yelled for the team when they took the ice for warm-ups.