Taking A Shot (40 page)

He swallowed past the nervous lump in his throat and hoped to God he didn’t screw this up.

He gave her the address of the place. He was parked out front, waiting for her when she drove up. She got out, wearing a dress, tights, and those sexy black boots with the spiky heels that never failed to make his dick hard. She buttoned her coat and ran toward him to give him a kiss.

“What is this surprise?” she asked, looking at the building.

“You’ll see.” He’d gotten the code from the real estate manager so he could show it to Jenna without the guy bugging him while he talked to her.

He unlocked the keypad and opened the door, turning on the lights and letting her in.

“It used to be a combination bar/restaurant,” he explained as she walked in. “It closed about six months ago. It fits your parameters for space and location.”

She gave him a quizzical look. “I don’t understand.”

“You could rip out the current bar here,” he said, leading her inside. “Put the stage you talked about in the center here. There’s already a great kitchen. Come on, I’ll show you.”

She grabbed his wrist. “Wait. What are you talking about?”

“Your music club.”

“What music club?”

“The one you want to open. The second Riley’s. If you don’t like this one, I’ve got two others lined up to show you.”

“You’ve got…You went looking for locations for a club?”

He grinned and shoved his hands in his coat pocket. “Yeah. Isn’t this space great? I have to admit this one’s my favorite, but the others aren’t bad. Wait till you see the kitchen. And there’s plenty of electrical.”

Her smile died. “No.”

“What?”

“No.”

“You don’t like this place? That’s okay. We can go look at the others.”

“I mean no. To all of it.”

His stomach tightened. “Why?”

“I don’t want any of this, Ty. If I’d wanted a club, I’d go looking for locations on my own.”

Irritation spiked. “Okay. You don’t want my help.”

“I don’t want to do this at all. Quit pushing me.”

“Right. Because God forbid you should move forward with your life.”

She lifted her chin. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what I said. I was trying to help, to show you some great places so you could take that step forward, take a shot at having what you really wanted.”

“That’s a lot of presumption on your part.”

“Is it? We’ve talked about this for months. You know this is what you really want.”

“If it’s what I really want, and that’s a big if, I’ll do it on my own. I don’t need you to help me. I don’t need you for any of this.”

He’d been wrong. About her, about everything. All this time he’d spent trying to help Jenna, trying to coax her into finding her own happiness, and she was throwing it back in his face. All the plans he’d made, assuming…

That’s what he got for assuming she felt the same way he did.

“You know what, Jenna? You’re right. You don’t need me. You don’t need anyone. You never did.”

She lifted her chin. “You’re right. I don’t need you or anyone else trying to push me into something I’m not ready for. I’m tired of everyone nudging me, trying to force me into this. Just stop it. I like my life the way it is, so leave it alone.”

Tears glistened in her eyes and the fear was so evident there he wanted to hold her, but he was angrier at her than he was sorry for her.

“That is such bullshit. You hate your life the way it is, you hate
being stuck behind that bar, but you’re too damned afraid to do anything to change it. You were afraid to go out with me, afraid to fall in love with me. Well you know what? I was afraid, too. You’ve met my parents. You know that story and you know how their marriage failed. The last goddamn thing I ever wanted was to fall in love. But you know what? I did anyway. I fell in love with you.”

Her eyes widened, but he refused to acknowledge it. “And you know what happens when you fall in love with someone? You want to help that person. You want that person to grow. You want what’s best for them.

“All you’ve done is keep me at arm’s length the whole time we’ve known each other because you’re afraid. Well I’m fucking tired of tiptoeing around your fear. So you win. I’m done.”

He turned and walked toward the door and opened it. “The door will lock itself when you walk out.”

He shut the door and walked away.

JENNA STOOD IN THE BUILDING AND STARED AT THE hanging wires, the dust and debris of what once was a thriving business, but now was nothing more than an empty shell.

That’s how she felt inside as she heard Ty’s car start up and drive away.

An empty shell. Destroyed like this building.

He loved her. He’d done all this for her, all this research and legwork and she’d caustically thrown it back in his face as if it had meant nothing to her.

He’d been so excited. This had been his surprise.

Then she’d let him walk away, because she was afraid. Afraid to take a shot at having the career she wanted, and afraid to reach out and grab the kind of love she’d always dreamed of.

She’d missed her chance.

She bit back the tears. She didn’t deserve to fall apart. This aching misery she felt was all her doing.

Instead, she turned and walked out the door.

TY SLAMMED HIS STICK INTO THE PENALTY BOX.

Possible concussion his fucking ass. The defender had gotten in his way and he’d fought for the puck, slammed him up against the glass. They’d fought, just like a normal fight in a game. Punches had been thrown and his opponent had gone down like a falling bowling pin, even though Ty swore he hadn’t hit him hard. The guy laid out on the ice had been milking it. This five-minute penalty was bullshit. Anger fueled him and he vowed he’d play tougher the next two periods.

He went into the locker room at the end of the first period, and after the typical pep talk, the coach called him aside.

“You got some issues we need to talk about, Anderson?”

“No. Just trying to win the game.”

“You don’t win the game by knocking out one of the opposing players and taking a five minute. Two penalties and it’s only the first period?”

“Giving my all for the team, coach.”

“All for the team? You’re playing one-man vendetta out there. You have some bug up your ass. Pull it out and play like I know you can play, or I’ll bench you. And if I have to do that in the biggest game of the season you aren’t going to like the consequences.”

The coach walked away. Ty dropped his chin to his chest and took a deep breath.

Shit. His head hadn’t been in the game. He was pissed off and it was affecting his game play. He had to get it under control.

Eddie came in and sat next to him. “Look, man, I know you’re under a lot of pressure. We all are. But whatever’s going on in your
head right now, whether it’s the game or something else, it’s affecting your game play at a time that’s kinda critical for the team.”

Ty didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. Eddie was right. He was letting the team down.

Victor laid his hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “We are your friends. You have a problem, we’re here to listen.”

“That’s true,” Eddie said. “But if it’s personal, leave it in the locker room and play hockey on the ice. You can’t take it out on the other team because we need you to help us win the division. One more game and we’re in.”

Ty nodded. “I got this.”

“Then let’s go kick their asses,” Victor said. “Only, don’t kick their asses so much next time, yes?”

Tyler laughed. “Yeah. Understood.”

Eddie stood. “All right then. Let’s go win this game, and then we’ll go out and get shitfaced after we win the division.”

Ty stood and nodded to his friends. “Sounds like a plan.”

JENNA TENDED BAR AND WATCHED THE ICE WIN THE division championship, wincing when Tyler got that five-minute penalty, knowing he was taking his anger and frustration at her out on another player.

But after that first period he’d come back and played clean and they kicked ass, scoring three goals and clinching the division. The bar had been packed solid and they’d served a ton of drinks and food. The celebration after the game win had been wild and crazy. Jenna had even brought out champagne for everyone in the bar, much to her customers’ delight. Being busy kept her mind occupied so she didn’t have to think about what an utter bitch she’d been yesterday.

After Ty had left she’d gone home and cried until her nose was stuffy and her eyes were swollen, then she’d washed her face and
climbed into bed, but she hadn’t been able to sleep. She’d ended up staying up all night, fighting the urge to go into the office and write some music—heart-tearing music about losing someone you loved.

In the end, she’d gone in and scribbled down the words because they were in her head—in her soul—dying to pour out of her. She knew she wouldn’t rest until she wrote them down, until she picked up her guitar and sang some of the songs she’d written about heartbreak. Songs she’d written before she’d ever really been in love, before she’d ever lost someone she truly cared about. As the tears streamed down her face, she realized what a liar she’d been in her music, how her soul had never been in her work before, because now she could feel the words tear through her, could feel the agony of loss like never before. At that moment she honestly felt what it was like to hurt—and to have hurt someone.

Now all she wanted to do was sing and write, to hole up in her room and do nothing but put words to paper, melody to those words. But she was stuck at this goddamn bar, a prisoner of her own making.

A prisoner of her fear.

And lonely as hell.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket, grimacing as she looked at how late it was, yet knowing if the shoe was on the other foot, she’d drop everything to be there for her, no matter what time it was.

She dialed Tara’s cell. Tara answered on the second ring.

“Jenna? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Did I wake you?”

“Yeah. But it’s okay. Is it Dad?”

“No, he’s fine. I’m at work, but I need to talk to you. Can I come over? I know it’s really late, so feel free to tell me no.”

“Of course. Come on over. I’ll put some coffee on.”

“Thanks.”

She told her assistant manager she was leaving and he could close
up tonight. He assured he could handle it with no problem, since he closed on the nights she had off. She left and headed to Tara and Mick’s house. They’d bought a new place in the country, so it took her about twenty minutes to get there. It was a gated community with huge houses on oversize lots.

Jenna pulled into the driveway and Tara was at the door, waiting for her. She’d thrown on yoga pants and a sweatshirt.

“Coffee’s ready,” she said, leading Jenna into the kitchen.

They took a seat at the table in the nook off the kitchen. Jenna stared into her coffee.

“What’s wrong?”

She told Tara what happened with Ty, what he said to her before he walked out on her.

Tara sipped her coffee and nodded. “I understand all about running away from love. No one knows that better than me. I did my best to try to run away from it with Mick, and I almost lost him.”

“It’s not the same thing. Ty and I just don’t see eye to eye. I think we just want different things.”

Tara laughed. “Honey, I love you like a sister, but that’s the biggest bunch of crap I’ve ever heard.”

Jenna winced at Tara’s brutal honesty. But that’s what she’d come here for.

“I’ve never seen two people more in love with each other, or more stubborn. And I hate to see the two of you break up over fear.”

“You mean my fear.”

“Yes.”

Her shoulders slumped. “I’m the queen of fear. I’m afraid of loving someone, afraid of taking a step to change my life, afraid of failing.”

“Let me ask you a question.” Tara poured another cup of coffee from the carafe on the table, added some cream and a dollop of sugar. “Is Ty’s career as important a factor now as it was when you
first started seeing him? If I recall, you were adamant about not getting involved with anyone in sports.”

“Oh, yeah. That. Not at all.”

Tara leaned back in her chair, cup in hand. “Why do you think that is?”

She thought about it for a few seconds before answering. “Likely because it was never a factor in the first place. It was a defense mechanism to keep men away, a good excuse. After all, what kind of men did I know other than men either involved with sports or who loved sports? If I made it a factor, I wouldn’t have to fall in love.”

“But Tyler took that factor out of the equation, didn’t he?”