Taking Chances (Learning to Love) (9 page)

I sucked in a breath, trying to flood my over-stimulated brain with oxygen, before absently holding my breath once again. His hand skimmed over one breast with the back of his hand, and he captured my nipple between his knuckles. My back arched away from the door and I gasped as he tugged and twisted.

"Breathe," he whispered against my ear, and I released a breath that I hadn't even realized I was holding. But it didn't matter, oxygen was not what I needed at that moment.

He trailed his lips from the hollow behind my ear, down my neck, coming to rest on my breast where he ran his tongue over one nipple, sending shivers down to my toes.
Gently, he sucked the hard nub into his mouth, grazing over it with his teeth softly at first then hard enough to make me whimper in delicious pain.

Moving down my body, he squatted in front of me and slid my panties down one inch at a time. I wiggled my hips, trying to move him along, but he stopped and held me steady, waiting for me to stop squirming before he dropped them to the ground and allowed me to step out of them.

Before I had a chance to think, he was back up in front of me, and had me flipped around with my face pressed into the door. He ran his fingers down my back and over my ass, cupping it in his hand as he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the quickly forming goosebumps.

Alternating between hot kisses and nibbling, he moved from the nape of my neck, up to my ear. At the same time, his fingers drifted further down, reaching between my thighs and dipped into my wetness for one brief tease. My head swirled with dizziness. My breathing was quick and ragged. For a moment, it was almost too much.

Still facing the door, it was impossible to anticipate his next move. After a pause, his hand once again slid down past my ass, finding my swollen clit throbbing under his touch. He circled it a few times with his thumb, spreading my slippery juices, then slid two thick fingers inside me. My legs shook and threatened to give out beneath me as he continued to work his magic. I could feel that familiar rising inside me that told me I couldn't hold off much longer. Just when I was about to spiral into orgasm, he slid his fingers out of me and let them glide back up my ass. I moaned in protest.

"Please, don't stop." My voice was barely above a whisper, breathless and needy.

Without a response, he turned me around to face him once again. I heard him shrug out of his pants and toss them away. The anticipation had my heart amped up so fast, that I could feel it vibrating throughout my body.

He slipped his hands around my ass and lifted me off the floor with my back resting against the cold door. My legs wrapped around his waist and I nestled myself against him. With one strong arm, he held me in place as he ripped the corner of a little packet with his teeth, and reached down to slip on a condom. Not being able to see heightened my other senses. Every smell, sound, or touch, were all amplified and oversensitive.

I knew exactly what was about to happen, and for one brief moment, panic flashed through me. I'd never had sex with a complete stranger before. Even though I took the hotel key, came over on my own accord, and let him strip, kiss, and tease me, the thought of actual sex was just more real. I couldn't deny that I wanted it as much as he did, maybe more, but the fear still pushed its way to the front of my mind and tried to take over. I pulled at the blindfold over my eyes, thinking that maybe if I could see him, it would put my mind at ease.

His hand closed over mine. "Don't."

I conceded, letting my hand fall to his shoulder. He paused a moment, took a deep breath, then positioned himself just outside my opening. When he didn't go further, I pushed my hips forward, trying to urge him in, but he eased back, not allowing me more. I couldn't take it. I needed him inside me.

"Please," I begged.

"Are you sure?" he whispered, hesitant.

"Yes." I nodded and dug my nails into his shoulders, trying to pull him in.

With that, he slowly pushed his thick head inside, holding very still for a moment before sliding in completely. His length filled me entirely, maybe even a little too much. I wrapped my legs tighter around him, draping both arms around his neck, letting my hands grip his short hair tightly.

He fell into a steady rhythm, and I savored each slow pull back before he slammed in deep. With each thrust, he pushed me hard into the door, making a loud thud as I held onto his arms for support. Being held up against the door in that position, I was a passive participant. He had all the control over how fast, slow, soft, hard, or even how much, he would give me. He seemed to know exactly what I needed, yet took pleasure in the tease.

Slipping one hand down my belly, he found my clit, still throbbing, aching from his earlier attention, and circled it with his thumb. Each rotation of his finger brought me closer and closer to the edge. Just when I thought I was about to tip over, he moved his hand away and reached up to tug at my sensitive nipples. I tried to speak my protest, but he covered my mouth with his, quieting me with his tongue.

He shifted me a bit and pulled my ass slightly away from the door, making all the difference in the world. At the new angle, my muscles squeezed around him with a sensation unlike any I'd ever felt before. It only took a few thrusts before my breath quickened and caught in my throat as the world dissolved around me. I sagged in his arms, grateful for the support as my body clenched around him. A moment later, his thick crown swelled and released as he shuddered against me. He held me tightly and rested his head along my chest, trying to catch his breath, our hearts both pounding against each other.

After several minutes passed, and his breathing slowed to a more normal pace, he kissed my forehead sweetly. My legs were still wrapped around him with my back pinned to the door. I was pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to move, even if I wasn't propped up like that. He then carried me over to the bed, still inside me, and laid me gently down on the rough hotel bedspread, sliding out of me as he let go.

I could hear him moving around, getting dressed I supposed. The blindfold was still over my eyes but I was no longer eager to remove it. I knew I should probably take it off and find my clothes as well, but I just sat there, not ready to see him finished with me. I wanted this to happen. I practically begged him for it, but sitting there in the cold reality of what happened, I just felt cheap.

He went back into the bathroom for a couple of minutes then returned. I felt him standing no more than a foot from me. He squatted down on the floor to be eye level with me and stroked the side of my face with the back of his hand. He reached around to the back of the blindfold, and I thought he was about to untie it, but stopped. He didn't move his hand away, but made no move to remove it either.

For nearly a full minute, neither of us moved or spoke. When finally he moved forward and I thought he was about to leave, but instead he leaned in and kissed me softly, parting my lips slightly with his tongue. The kiss was soft and sweet, a sharp contrast to the hard, unforgiving kisses from before. After his lips separated from mine, he let out a sigh, and I heard him move toward the door, pausing for a moment before pulling it open to leave.

I sat up on the bed naked and blindfolded for a long time. Exhaustion got the better of me after a while, and I knew I had to move. I slipped the blindfold over my head and felt my way around the room for a light switch. My dress, bra and panties were draped over a chair, and the room key still laid on the floor where I dropped it.

After getting dressed, I picked up the blindfold from the bed. I ran my fingers down the silk tie, tracing the small gold pin with the initials 'S.M.'. I folded it and placed it into my purse, thinking maybe he'd want it back. I rolled my eyes. It was ridiculous. I'd never see Sam again, and we both knew it.

I looked back at the enormous hotel bed, tempted to climb in and sleep for a while, unsure if I was exhausted or if I just wanted to avoid Kat
, who was sure to ask a million questions.
Going over the details was not something I was looking forward to, at least not until I knew how I felt about what happened.

A small piece of me realized that he must have another key and could come back at any time. What I wasn't sure about was if that was something I wanted or not.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Opening my eyes, one at a time, I peered around the room to make sure I was alone. After everything that happened the night before, I couldn't be sure that it wasn't all an alcohol-induced dream. Part of me wished it was a dream. I still couldn't believe that I'd met a total stranger for sex.

Amazing, mind-blowing, life-changing, sex.

I pulled myself up in bed and scrubbed over my face with my hands.
Oh my God, what did I do?
He could have been anyone. A serial killer, a rapist, someone gathering girls for the sex slave trade, and I'd just walked right up there and handed myself over. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't even look at my reflection in the mirror when I brushed my teeth before going to sleep. It wasn't as if I expected to see the word 'slut' written across my forehead, but that was exactly how I felt.

I knew I was being ridiculous. It wasn't that big of a deal. People had casual sex with people they hardly knew all the time. My brother and best friend, the two people I loved most in the world, did just that many times, and I'd never thought less of them for it. Coming to terms with doing it myself though, was a whole different thing.

At least I was spared the embarrassment of admitting out loud what I'd done for a little while. All those hot, naked men at Verde got Kat a little too excited, and she and my brother were going at it like animals when I got in. The only thing worse than being forced to hear my own brother having overly enthusiastic sex with my best friend, would've been going over the details of what I'd done right after. I was still trying to figure it all out in my own head and I just wasn't ready to give Kat the play by play.

Luckily, she overslept and by the time she got up, I was out for a run, leaving no time for anything other than showering and heading over to Jamie's for the bridal party to get our hair done. I knew I couldn't dodge the bullet forever, but if I could get one more day I'd be grateful.

***

Jamie was crazier than ever, worrying over every detail that could possibly go wrong. Kat and the other bridesmaids were doing their best to keep her calm and head off a full blown bridezilla attack, but if they didn't get things moving along, it was only going to be a matter of time.

I snuck outside for some air while Jamie was flipping out on the photographer because he had to change memory cards and missed her father walking into the room to see her getting ready. I knew it wouldn't be long before I had to see Gary and Sebastian after the other night's incident. I still couldn't believe I tried to throw myself at some guy I didn't even know who was clearly not interested in me. For all I knew he was involved with someone, or gay.

Oh God, what if he was gay?

He must have thought I was some desperate slut. Well, I guess after he walked in on me and Gary, what else could he think?

"Well don't you look beautiful," Matt said with a whistle, as he stood leaning against one of the white stretch limos waiting outside.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be over at Justin's house with the rest of the guys?" I asked and leaned up to kiss his cheek. He looked more handsome than usual all dressed up.

"Yeah, I was, but Kat called. She forgot her earrings and said if she left Jamie alone, there might not be a wedding. I figured bringing them here would be a good idea," he chuckled.

"Jamie has gone off the deep end. I'll be happy when this day is over," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Don't forget, we're meeting Dad and Greta for lunch tomorrow."

I only wished I could forget.

"Yes, Matty, I know." I tried to force a smile, but it wasn't working. I was going to that lunch and the wedding, but that didn't mean I had to be happy about it.

"You know how much this means to me, don't you, sis?" He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me up against his side.

"Yes, but I'm not going to pretend like I understand why. I haven't been at the others, so what's the big deal about this one? You didn't even tell me about the last one at all."

"This one is different," he sighed.

"Yeah, you said that, he loves her, blah blah blah. But why do
you
care?" I lifted his arm off of me and moved to stand in front of him. It was not at all like my brother to make a big deal out of any sort of family gathering, especially one of our father's weddings.

"I don't know how to explain it, Lex. I'm just like him, ya know. Maybe if he can finally get it right, well maybe... there could be hope for me too." He looked away and frowned. Matt was not the type to talk about feelings or to be vulnerable. He always put on a dazzling smile and cracked jokes, covering up anything real.

"You are
not
just like him. I mean sure, you're a man-whore, but that's one small piece of you. You do
not
have to end up like our father. You're so much better than him, Matty. You have been there for me my whole life, when he wasn't. You'll fall in love one day and be happy. I know you will."