Taking Chances (Learning to Love) (12 page)

"Please, Kitten, this is important to me and I don't ask you for much." Of course he was playing that card. He knew I couldn't turn him down the one time he really needed me.

"You're going to owe me for this, Matty," I sighed, even though I knew it wasn't true. I owed him.

We returned to the table and managed to get through the rest of the lunch without any major issues. Greta and Matt did most of the talking. It was clear that this was not the first time they'd talked at length. The two seemed comfortable with each other and he really did seem to like her.

My father was engaged in the conversation, but had little to say. Not that he was ever a big talker, but he was more quiet than normal. I did catch him looking at me several times, like he wanted to say something, but thought better of it. There was a small piece inside me that wanted to hear what he had to say, that was actually curious, but that was the minority. The rest of me wanted him to stay quiet so I wouldn't have to worry about saying anything to screw up a surprisingly not so bad lunch.

***

After saying goodbye to Larry and Greta, Matt walked me out to my car and leaned against the door, blocking my way.

"What's up, Matty?" I asked him, curious about the pensive look on his usual smiling face.

"Sebastian Michelson," he said, after a pause.

"What about him?"

"Are you two seeing each other or...
something
?" he asked, stressing the last word.

I rolled my eyes.
Here we go again
. As if it wasn't bad enough that Kat grilled me over every detail of my life, now I had to go over this with my big brother. I probably should have been grateful that Kat was too preoccupied with Sebastian kissing me and the scene between him and Gary, to notice I was holding back on her. I still hadn't gotten around to telling her what happened with Sam after the bachelorette party. I knew she wasn't going to let me get away with it forever, but at least I could get through one embarrassing story at a time.

"No, we are not seeing each other, or anything else. He kissed me, as you know. That's it, nothing more. I don't even know why he kissed me since he has no interest in me," I sighed, trying not to sound like I wished it wasn't true.

"He isn't going to kiss you if he isn't interested, babygirl. That's not how guys are. It's
what
he's interested in that has me concerned. Sebastian Michelson doesn't do relationships, you know that, right?"

"That's good because I don't want a relationship."

Matt raised both eyebrows and I knew immediately what he was thinking.

"Or anything else," I added, to put him at ease. I just hoped he wouldn't hear about me leaving the bachelorette party early to meet some random stripper. I may be a grown woman, but that was not how he saw me. He was not going to give up his role as overprotective big brother easily.

After Matt was satisfied there wasn't anything going on between Sebastian and me, he let me leave and went back inside to see our father about something. Kat had a kid's birthday photo shoot, so she would be out of the house all afternoon. If I was lucky, she would be exhausted and zone out with her full DVR like she usually did after a long shoot.

Kat was an awesome photographer. She didn't much care about doing kids or weddings, but they paid the bills. She really wanted to do nature and wildlife or some shit like that. As a journalist, it was great to have a best friend who was a photographer. Sometimes it made the difference whether or not the editor accepted my story.

The house was quiet when I got in. Kat left dishes all over the kitchen. No shocker there, she was not the domestic type. What was a surprise however, was the reason for the mess. Set in the middle of the table was a cake, frosted in chocolate, with a squiggly 'Cake of Truth' piped on top in pink.

The 'cake of truth' was something Kat and I started we were twelve. I was pretty sure I was the idiot who started it when she wouldn't tell me the name of the boy she liked in seventh grade. She said she really wanted a piece of cake when we were on the phone, but she was grounded and couldn't go to the store. I made the cake, wrote 'Cake of Truth' on it and snuck it to her window.

Ever since, we'd been using the cake when one of us felt like the other was holding out about something. So seeing the cake sitting there, I knew she was going to want to talk about the other night.

I had a long wait ahead of me though. I took a lengthy bath, trying to relax myself before I had to once again delve into my world of embarrassment, watched some tv, and spent some quality time with the love of my life-- my fat orange tabby, Jasper. Snuggled up on the sofa in my pajamas with Jasper and my Grandmother's old quilt was the best place in the whole world.

I must have dozed off a little before I heard the key on the lock and Kat slumping down exhausted into the chair near the sofa. I parted my lashes slowly trying to see if I could get away with sleeping. I knew I'd have to tell her eventually, but if I could get one more day, I was certainly going to try.

"Don't think I don't know you're awake, Lexi. You are not going one more night without telling me everything," she grumbled, kicking her shoes to the floor and tossing her phone on the coffee table.

She was tired from work but she was not going to let me get away with putting her off any longer. I took a deep breath and got up to cut the cake.

***

"Are you serious? He blindfolded you and screwed you up against the door?" she gasped, nearly choking on her cake.

I knew I should have left out some of the details, but it was our promise to each other to tell the whole story for the cake of truth.
Frigging cake
.

"Not that it would have mattered, the room was dark except for the light coming from the moon through the window, so I couldn't see much anyway."

"So after, when he took the blindfold off, how hot was he up close and personal? I nearly came in my panties watching him hump the floor on stage," she gushed, squeezing her legs together at the memory.

"Uh well, he didn't actually take the blindfold off."

"Huh?" she said, confused.

"Well, he carried me over to the bed and left me there, the tie still on my eyes. Then, he kissed me, and left. I still have the tie." A tingle went through me as I remembered sitting on the bed, wearing only the tie over my eyes, as he kissed me goodbye.

"You still have it?" she squealed. "Show me! I have to see!" Kat jumped from the chair and pulled me up. She no longer looked exhausted. I was in for a long night.

I didn't even know why I kept the tie. I could have just left it there in the hotel. If he wanted it back he could have gotten it from them. Maybe he did try to call about it and realized I'd taken it. What would he think about me taking it? I had the tie folded neatly and put in an old photo box that I kept mementos in.

A silk tie used to blindfold me for hot random sex with a stripper counts as a memento, right?

I gently pulled the tie from the box and handed it to her. Part of me wanted to pull it back, not let her touch it.
How crazy is that?

"Wow," she whispered, holding it in her hands like a precious artifact. She ran her finger over the tie pin, softly saying the letters out loud. "S... M....Sam, what? Did he tell you his last name?"

"No actually, we really didn't talk much." I had to giggle at myself. Normally I would feel like a whore going to a hotel with a guy I didn't even have a full name on and doing, well, what we did, but strangely, I was actually starting to come to terms with what happened. It wasn't something I had to feel guilty about. Okay, so that might still take a little work to fully believe, but for the moment at least, I was going to let myself enjoy the memory.

"Oh God, Lex, you know what you have to do, don't you?" Kat had that evil plan look on her face. Whenever she got that look I knew it was going to be trouble.

"No, but I'm sure you are about to tell me," I answered, not really sure I wanted to hear what she was about to suggest.

"You have to go back to the club and return the tie. It will give you the perfect excuse to see him again!" She nearly bubbled over with excitement. She wanted it so much more than I did.

I took the tie back, returned it to the box, and headed back out to the living room with Kat following close behind.

"I don't know, Kat, I really wasn't planning on seeing him again. Isn't that what you were telling me I needed? Just a onetime thing, just to have fun? You know I'm not looking to get involved," I sighed.

It was as if she was trying to live vicariously through me, which didn't make sense. Kat was always bragging how great the sex was between her and Matt, enough to make me want to vomit. It didn't make sense that she was so excited over this. If she wanted any one of those strippers, they would have had her in an instant.

"I wasn't suggesting you get involved, Lexi, just have a little more fun. You already slept with the guy and know he's awesome, so why not go back for a repeat performance?" she asked, poking the last bite of cake off the plate and popping it into her mouth.

"Why do you even care?" It seemed like a valid question to me, but as soon as I asked, her face fell and she looked away. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing really," she murmured quietly.

"Um, cake of truth? Now tell me what's going on." I patted the sofa next to me.

She reluctantly sat down and pulled the throw pillow into her lap, clutching it protectively.

"It's just that things with Matty and me aren't going the way I thought they would," she sighed.

"How did you think it would go? Hon, you know how my brother is." I hated to say it, but we both knew it was true. Right from the start I knew he would break her heart eventually.

"No, no, it's not like that. It's not him, it's
me
," she nearly whispered the last word.

Now I was confused. She was just talking about marriage and planning out details for their wedding, and now she was saying she was the one with the problem. Something just didn't add up.

"Kat, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know, Lex, it's ... it... I'm just not sure if I love him," she spat out, pulling the pillow tighter against her.

"What are you talking about? You have been in love with Matt since we were kids. You
told
me you were crazy about him just last week. Hell, you were planning out the details of your life together in his truck the other day. How could you not be sure now if you love him?"

"I don't know. I thought I loved him, but I'm not sure it was really
love
, ya know?" She looked at me confused, as if she needed me to explain how she felt to her.

"I'm sorry, Kat, I don't have any answers for you. You're the only one who knows if it's really love or not. Has he told you he loves you?" It should be something I knew the answer to. She was my best friend and he was my brother. I should know if they'd confessed any feelings of love by now, but I tried my hardest to stay out of their relationship. I never thought it was going to last and I didn't want to be in the middle of their breakup when it happened.

"No, but I could have sworn he was going to a few times. Part of me wanted him to, but another part wanted to run and never look back." A small tear escaped down her cheek. She quickly wiped it, threw the pillow over to the chair, and jumped up, heading for the kitchen. "Okay, enough of that. Let's get back to you and Sam."

I knew her well enough to know that when she closed a conversation like that, there was no going back. She was going to focus full force on me now, whether I liked it or not.

"There is no me and Sam. It was a onetime thing and it is not going to happen again. Stop scheming, Kat, I can see your brain formulating a plan already," I warned, walking into the kitchen to wash the cake plates and the rest of the mess she had made earlier.

"Okay, well let me ask you something. The sex was hot, right?" she asked, handing me the crusted pans to wash.

"It was incredible." I couldn't lie. The sex was out of this world, amazing.

"And, he's obviously not some psycho serial killer who wants to cut you into tiny bits and put you in the freezer for Thanksgiving dinner, is he?"

"I guess not." Unless he saves that for the second date, but then, I guess what happened between us was nothing like a date.

"So why not go back for seconds? You don't have to marry the guy, just use his perfect body for a few good times." She hopped off the counter where she was watching me clean up her mess and walked around to the other side of the island that separated the kitchen and living room. "You should at least return his tie. The pin looks expensive."

She did have a point. I could at least return the guy's tie. For all I knew, the pin could have been a family heirloom or something. It wasn't like he had any information on me and could have hunted me down to get it back.

It was the right thing to do, wasn't it?

CHAPTER NINE

I was nervous about seeing Sam again after what happened between us. Kat made a few phone calls and found out that he had rehearsals at the club Monday afternoons. I waited out in the lobby while the same bartender from last week prepped for opening.