Taking Chances (Learning to Love) (24 page)

Seeing Sebastian's reaction gave me the incentive to continue. I licked over my lips, wetting them, allowing them to slide easily down over his shaft, and slid slowly back up. I took a deep breath and went back down, taking as much as I could into my mouth, bumping it into the back of my throat. I continued a slow relentless pace, teasing him for a minute then quickened briefly before slowing down once again.

The other times we had been together, he took great pleasure in teasing me with deliberate torture and I had no intention of letting that go unpunished. Not that this kind of punishment wasn't also a reward, but he certainly deserved both.

That wasn't the kind of thing I was ever interested in with previous boyfriends. It was one of those things I did when they complained enough and just tried to get it over with. With Sebastian, it was altogether different. His ass tightened, his hips bucked involuntarily, and I could tell he was having a hard time keeping himself composed.

"Kitten, please," he growled. "You need to stop now, or I won't be able to." His breathing was coming in fast pants and I could tell it was a struggle for him to hold back.

Part of me wanted to continue and let him release in my mouth, giving me the opportunity to taste more of him, but even more, I wanted to feel him inside me. Begrudgingly, I backed off him, looking up as I slide him out. The blindfold still covering his eyes, he let out the breath he was holding.

I stood, finally allowing him access to the zipper of my dress. He wasted no time removing my clothes but when he tried to reach for my breasts, I stopped him once again.

"No touching, remember?"

"You can't be serious?" He laughed, then realized I was not joking. His smile slowly faded, replaced with a curious and confused look.

I pushed him down on the bed and pushed at him to move up further, leaving plenty of room for me to climb up on top of him. I grabbed a condom from the top of the nightstand, and quickly rolled it down his length. Again I took a moment to admire him naked and needy in front of me. I could tell he felt exactly how he made me feel, impatient, nearly desperate for more.

I wanted to prolong his agony, be the expert tease that he was, but I was far too eager to feel him throb inside me. I would let him have the title of master tease. I slowly climbed on top of him, positioning my hips over him. He pulsed with need, his body begging for more.

"Lexi, please," he begged, his voice a low growl that sent a tingling sensation over my body that settled in waves over me.

"Please what?" I toyed with him, knowing full well that was exactly what he would do to me.

"Please, fuck me," he growled, nearly a demand.

It was all I needed. I slid, as slow as I could manage, down on him, savoring every millimeter. The oxygen pushed from my lungs, completely emptying by the time his balls thumped against my ass. Dizziness swirled around my head. I leaned my hands down on Sebastian's chest for balance and took a deep breath. I pushed and pulled back against him, settling in on a steady pace that threatened a quick end. I nearly lost my balance, screaming out his name as orgasm washed over me in wave after delicious wave.

Without any protest from me, he pushed the tie from his eyes and pushed up on his elbows, deepening the angle of him inside me. He propped himself up with one arm and wrapped the other around my waist steadying me, and he took over thrusting hard and fast against me. Before I even managed to gain control over my breathing, he joined me, groaning deep into my chest, his fingers gripping tightly into my hips.

He held me there for what seemed like an eternity, neither of us having the energy, or will, to move. If I could have fallen asleep there, I surely would have. Eventually, he fell back, pulling me with him. I squirmed around a bit to straighten my legs and snuggled in beside him.

I laid there with my head on his chest, listening to his heart thump softly against my ear. I was flooded with emotions that made no sense to me. Before Sebastian, things like love, relationships, or wanting to spend eternity with the same person- was insanity to me. With Sebastian, everything was different. He was the remedy to everything in me that was broken, the missing piece to all that was meant to be inside me, yet I never knew I needed.

I pushed up from him, suddenly panicked at the intensity of my feelings. The word love flashed into my mind and I immediately pushed it away, not ready to admit it was even possible.

He rolled over, reaching out for me in his half-asleep state. I pulled back, staying just out of his reach. He moaned in disappointment. I knew I had to decide if I was going to continue fighting this never-ending losing battle to avoid my feelings for Sebastian, or give in and take a chance on what felt so right.

I took a breath, shut out the part of my brain that refused to let go of the past, and rolled back against his warm body. His arms came around me, pulling me close.

He whispered, "I love you, Kitten," then sighed deeply, and fell back into a deep sleep.

My heart back-flipped in my chest, momentarily making it impossible to breathe. I didn't know if he really meant what he said or if it was just a mixture of post-orgasmic bliss and being half asleep. The words played over in my head on repeat until I came to the realization that whether he meant them or not, that was exactly how I felt about him. Love. His words burned into me, leaving something I had never before felt.

Clarity.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

By the time daylight peeked through the curtains, my old familiar doubts tried to return. I thought about sneaking out from under Sebastian and leaving before he woke up, to avoid talking about what happened. It would also help me evade doing anything stupid to mess up something I wasn't ready to end.

As if he sensed my impending need to flee, he nuzzled in against my breast, sliding one hand up to cup the one on the other side.

"Good morning, beautiful." With his eyes still only half open, he found my nipple with his mouth and sucked it to attention.

I eased him back, breaking contact with the hard nub. "Hey!" he protested, reaching out to pull me back.

"As much as I would love to stay here in this bed with you, I do have things to do today." I pried his hands from me, and slipped from the bed.

"What could you possibly have to do today that would be better than what I could offer you here?" He glanced down my body, his hunger burning into me and leaving a tingling sensation trailing behind.

I sighed heavily, wishing I could forget the world and stay there with him for one more day.

Or a lifetime
.

"My brother and Kat broke up last night. Kat hasn't been answering me and Matt was more upset than I've ever seen him. I have to check on them and see what happened. So, as much as I would love to stay here with you, I can't."

"I'm sorry. How can I help?" He got up from the bed and stretched.

"Well, for starters, you can put that thing away. It's much too distracting." I motioned to his semi-hardness, bouncing freely, making me want to forget all responsibility and jump back in the bed with him.

He laughed, looking down and shrugging. "Sorry, not much I can do about that. It was completely hard until you mentioned your brother and Kat. Come have a shower with me and we can go see about this mess, and take care of this," he motioned down, "at the same time."

I didn't need him coming with me, but turning down a shower with him would have taken more will power than I had in me.

After we showered and dressed, we hurried out the door. Sebastian made me forget the world easily, probably a little too easily, but I needed to get back to reality and see what the hell was going on with Kat and my brother. A pang of guilt reminded me that I should have done it already, rather than spending the night having amazing sex with Sebastian. But my God, the man made me lose all sense of right and wrong. All that mattered when he was close to me, was having him even closer.

Once out the door, he jumped past me and opened the car door, but I still didn't feel right about having him drive me around, for what could take hours.

"Really, Sebastian--"

"Lexi, please call me Bas." He picked up my hand and kissed it sweetly, probably just trying to distract me from my argument. He must have known that my ability to use higher order brain functioning was severely impaired whenever he touched me.

I pulled my hand back, trying to get my neurons firing properly again. "Okay,
Bas
, I can handle this on my own. Kat has already been ignoring my calls and texts, there's no way she is going to tell me anything with you there."

"First of all, I wasn't suggesting I go inside with you to talk to her. Second, how exactly are you planning on not only getting home, but getting to your brother's after you see Kat?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

He had a point. My car was still in limbo and I couldn't even begin to consider buying a new one until I knew how much the insurance company was going to give me for the accident.

"Okay, but--"

"How about this, I drop you off at home and you can talk with Kat. I have a few errands to run so you can text me when you are done there, and I'll pick you up and take you over to your brother's place."

It made sense, but making Sebastian chauffeur me around seemed like the kind of imposition you didn't throw on some guy you slept with a few times.

But Sebastian was so much more.

"Sweetheart, this is a no-brainer. Why are you trying to fight me on this?" He eyed me curiously, one eyebrow raised.

"I don't want to take advantage of you, Sebastian."

"Bas."

I rolled my eyes at him and continued. "It just seems like too much of an imposition." I looked away, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

He grabbed my chin in his hand and pulled up forcing me to look at him. "I like it when you take advantage of me." He winked, a small sexy smile curved up one corner of his mouth.

Warmth spread over my cheeks as I remembered last night. After what we'd already done, there was no reason for me to blush or feel shy around him, yet I could feel the heat in my face giving me away. Sebastian seemed to be enjoying my reaction a little too much. I pulled my chin back and turned away, trying to regain a shred of composure.

"Don't hide that beautiful face from me. You know, seeing you blush makes me want to do naughty things to you." He pulled me tight against him, pushing my back against his car, and pressing the evidence to back his statement up, into my belly.

"You're insatiable." I giggled, enjoying the feel of him there. It probably wouldn't have taken much more convincing to actually get me back into his bed. Luckily Sebastian's willpower was there for us both.

"Okay, now that it's settled, we better get going before I hike that dress up and take you right here against the car."

I looked around, noting there was no one else in sight, and actually considered that possibility.

"Wait a second, what do you mean 'settled'? I never agreed to anything."

Sebastian just laughed, and motioned for me to get in the car. For a minute, I considered refusing, but really, I had no reason to. I decided somewhere between his sleepy profession of love and that moment, that I was going to give whatever this was a chance, and to do that, I needed to stop fighting him on every little thing.

I was worried about seeing Kat. It wasn't like her to avoid me. Between that and breaking up with Matty, I had no idea what was going on with her. For someone who was supposed to be my best friend in the world, she was being a total mystery.

I guessed in order to keep me from staring out the window and worrying the whole ride home, Sebastian turned on his iPod, scrolled through the options, and picked
It goes like this
, by Thomas Rhett. He sang along enthusiastically, leaving me no choice but to laugh, significantly lightening the mood. At least for a little while, the drama I was about to face was forgotten.

***

By the time we pulled up in front of my apartment my stomach twisted in knots and my anxiety level jumped up a thousand percent. I was not looking forward to dealing with the Kat-Matt drama. I would have much rather told Sebastian to turn around and take me back, or to go anywhere but there, but I knew I had to do it.

Sebastian opened the car door, extending a hand to help me out of the car. I normally wouldn't have waited for him, but I was stalling. He pulled me against him, and kissed my lips softly. As much as I loved the rough neediness of Sebastian's usual kisses, soft and sweet was incredibly sexy on him as well.

"Text me when you need me, babe." He got back in and waited for me to go inside before leaving.

I wanted to text him right away and tell him I needed him already. I actually considered telling him to stay with me, not wanting him to leave, even though I knew Kat would never talk to me with him there. My feelings for him scared me, and left me confused. Part of me wanted to run back into his arms, and the rest wanted to run in the other direction. None of it made sense.

I didn't notice Kat's car outside, so I wasn't hopeful that she was even home. I went inside, expecting to find at least a note telling me where she was. The house was quiet, not unusual for that time of the morning. As I expected, there was a note with my name scrawled across the front sitting on the middle of the coffee table. Something seemed off though, something I couldn't quite place.