Talk Nerdy to Me (7 page)

"You
picture a fantasy guy?" Eve hadn't ever thought of it from Eunice's
perspective.

"Only
if I want to really get into it. Sometimes I fake everything, but sometimes I
actually go for it. An image of Rick would definitely inspire me to go for
it."

"Yeah,
I guess he's pretty cute." But Eve had lost interest in the subject of
Rick. She'd even lost interest in the subject of phone sex.

Instead
she was remembering that precious moment after Charlie had made his circuit of
the hovercraft. He'd looked at her then, his brown eyes shining with admiration.
She could live a long time on the memory of that warm gaze.

He'd
given her the geek stamp of approval, and that meant more than he could ever
know. If someone like Charlie-—someone with an engineering degree and smarts
coming out his ears—if a person like that admired her invention, then she'd
done something special.

"You
guess
he's pretty cute?"
Eunice stared at Eve in the dim light of the hallway. "You
guess!
You need your prescription changed in those glasses, dearie.
I'm just praying he's not gay."

"Oh,
he's not." Charlie was one hundred percent het-ero. Eve had worked with a
fair number of gay models, and she'd become good at picking up on the vibes. Acknowledging
that Charlie was all-male gave her a sexual thrill, which probably meant she
was into him whether that was a good idea or not.

Eunice
looked heavenward. "Thank you, God." Then she glanced at Eve.
"Are you sure? I mean, what's with the two male assistants?"

Eve blinked, disoriented.
Oh, right. She might be daydreaming about Charlie, but Eunice was talking
about her crush
du jour,
Rick
Bannister. Eve didn't think Rick was gay, though. "A guy can hire another
guy without being gay"

"Yeah,
but they are all California beach-bum gorgeous. I see three pieces of male eye
candy traveling together, I figure either they're headed to a Chippendale's
convention or they're gay."

Eve laughed. "You're
making unnecessary problems for yourself. Unless Rick's changed his sexual
orientation since I last saw him, he's straight. I can't speak for the other
two, but I doubt—"

"The
other two don't concern me. Rick's my wiggle-the-wiener candidate, and I would
hate it if he swings the other way. Or maybe he's bi." Eunice's expression
brightened. "I could handle that."

"I'm
sure." Eve wished she could treat sex like a pastime, the way Eunice did.
Eunice could probably have sex with a guy and stay friends with him if it
didn't work out. Eve was sure that if she ever ended up in bed with
Charlie—which she might not, but saying she did—if they broke up, then the
friendship would go down the drain at the same time.

Eunice
reached for the jacket she'd hung on the hooks Eve had installed next to the
front door. "Just so I don't have to beat off Manny and Kyle to get a
shot. They could have a menage a trois going for all I know. Don't forget
they're from L.A. The rules are lax out there."

"Ugh.
I don't even want to think about a male threesome, thank you very much."
She just wanted to think about Charlie. Maybe Charlie with her? The concept
kept inserting itself in her brain like a new equation begging to be solved.

"I'm
just sayin'." Eunice pushed both arms into the sleeves of the coat and
hiked it up on her shoulders with a flap of nylon. "L.A. people aren't
like Yankees."

"All
I can tell you is that when I first met Rick he flirted with all the models
like crazy. I'm thinking he got involved with one of them. It sure looked like
it from the way they both acted."

"Good
news." Eunice zipped her jacket. "Can I come over Wednesday
night?"

"Why
not?" At first Eve had been excited about the prospect of working with
Charlie, but then Rick had become part of the mix. Eve would rather have had
Charlie all to herself. With Eunice around to distract Rick, Eve might get that
quality time alone with Charlie, after all.

"Cool."
Eunice opened the door. "Do you think I should leave my phone off for that
night?"

Eve grinned at her.
"Maybe you should put it on vibrate."

"Come
on, I'm serious. I could leave it off and just forget about the extra income
for the evening, but maybe Rick would get turned on by listening to me take 900
calls, so I could accomplish two goals at once. What do you think?"

"I
have no idea. You have to decide that one." Eve couldn't even imagine such
a scenario. "Tell you what, though. If you bring your phone, take the calls
in the house, not in the garage. I don't want to listen to 900 calls while
Charlie and I are working on the hovercraft. We're dealing with volatile
stuff."

Eunice
winked. "Gotcha. The way I look at it, we're both dealing with volatile
staff."

Charlie
wished there weren't so many damned people who knew about this hovercraft.
Apparently Rick would have found out, regardless, but Charlie didn't like the
idea that Manny and Kyle were in on it. What did Charlie know about these two
men? Nothing.

He
turned toward the backseat. "Are we all agreed that we don't talk about
this invention to anyone?"

"Sure thing,"
Manny said.

"No problem,"
Kyle added.

Charlie figured that was
about the best he could do, short of threatening them with. . . something.
Charlie wasn't into that. "And Rick, you're cool with keeping this quiet,
right?"

"You
betcha, cuz. I have a feeling I'll be too busy with a certain Eunice Piven to
care about some purple hovercraft."

Charlie
considered mentioning Eunice's alien abduction claim but decided against it.
Rick was a big boy. He could take care of himself.

Rick
braked the Subaru at the four-way stop. "Speaking of inventions, have you
heard what your mom and my mom are up to?"

"Well,
I know they were talking about a new sign out front."

"This
is way more than a new sign, cuz." Rick accelerated through the
intersection. "This is a whole new image.

They're thinking of ditching the old name
altogether."

Charlie
frowned. "Why? What's wrong with the Pastry Parlor?"

"Too tame, I
guess."

"Too
tame?
Charlie could have sworn he
heard a snort from the backseat. "It's a bakery, not a massage
parlor."

"Don't
give them any ideas," Rick said. "That could be next."

Charlie
glanced over at his cousin. "Okay, what's going on?"

"It started with the
cinnamon buns."

"Yeah."
Charlie could go for one right now. In the excitement of Eve's hovercraft,
he'd forgotten all about dinner.

"Here's
how they tell it. A couple of days ago they had one of those buns in the case
and it had one lone raisin at the top, right in the middle. A customer called
it a 'booby bun.' She said if they had any more like that, she'd take them home
to her husband as a joke."

"Hm." Charlie had
a feeling he wasn't going to like this.

"So
they promised to make some more. Turns out the woman spread the word, and for
the past two days there's been a run on booby buns. They couldn't bake those
things fast enough. When I showed up this afternoon they'd already taken in
more in one day than they normally earn in a week."

Now
there was no doubt that Kyle and Manny were quietly cracking up in the
backseat.

"It's
probably just a fad." Charlie sure as hell hoped so. The thought of his
mother in the booby buns business wasn't a comfy one.

"Maybe."
Rick seemed to be trying not to laugh. "But they're pretty high on the
success of those buns. There was some talk of expanding the offerings."

Charlie
turned to him in horror. "Like what, for God's sake?"

"Like
tonight they're going to create bawdy breadsticks."

That
should give his cousin plenty to think about. Rick was pleased with himself as
he dropped Charlie off at the Rack and Balls and drove on over to his mother's
house. Bless his mother and Aunt Rose for dabbling in X-rated bakery products.
That would help distract Charlie, and right now Rick wanted Charlie to be very
distracted. Rick needed to raise some cash.

That would have been
simpler if his mother had been able to loan him a couple hundred grand, but
she'd said that was impossible. If he'd told her it was life or death, she
might have found a way to get the money, maybe put the bakery up as collateral.
After all, he was her only kid. But he hadn't wanted to scare her, and now it
might not be necessary.

Maybe his luck was finally
turning. If Charlie, the family brainiac, thought the hovercraft was a valuable
invention, then Rick would make book that it was extremely valuable.
Charlie's comments were always on the conservative side.

Rick
didn't think it would take much effort to secretly get some pictures of the
hovercraft. Then maybe he could temporarily borrow some of the plans he'd
noticed sitting on Eve's workbench. All he needed was enough info to sell the
concept to the highest bidder. Eve made good money. She really didn't need the
income from this thing. But Rick did.

After
Rick dropped Charlie off, Manny moved up to the front passenger seat. "So
what do you think of that hovercraft?"

"Ah,
I think it's bogus," Rick said. "Veggie fuel? Come on!
I
was just trying to be
polite."

"Personally,
I think it's very cool," Kyle said from the backseat. "I wouldn't
mind owning one of those things. I'd soup up the engine, though. Veggie fuel
sounds like a wimpy fuel, if you know what I mean. No chick will be impressed
by a guy who's burning broccoli. You gotta have high-octane performance if you
wanna get laid."

"Exactly,"
Rick said. "She's adding in all this environmental crap, and that won't
be popular with the crowd who would buy something like that. It'll go
nowhere."

Manny shifted in his seat.
"You could be right. I think the X-rated bakery is a much more solid
concept. Your mom and aunt are smart ladies. Some businesses are
undercapitalized, but I don't get that feeling about the bakery."

"They do all
right." Rick knew where this was leading.

"Those
booby buns are great-tasting, too," Kyle said. "Almost as good as the
real thing. Which gives me an idea.
I
could
get a jar of vanilla frosting and maybe some raisins and try putting that on my
girlfriend's—"

Manny
groaned. "Spare us your adolescent sexual fantasies just this once, okay?
What we need to find out here is what happened when Rick had that private
little conference with his mother. Can she come up with the money or can't
she?"

"I
'm sure she can." Rick
wasn't about to tell either of these guys that his original plan to get the
money from his mother was looking dicey. He had another plan, a brilliant
plan, and it wouldn't involve sinking his mother into debt. "It might take
a few days for her to get it, but everything's looking good."

"Peterson
will be glad to hear that." Manny reached for the cell phone clipped to
his belt. "I need to check in and let him know we're on schedule."

Peterson.
Just
the mention of his name made Rick want to pee his pants. To look at the guy
you'd think he was an alderman at his church and enjoyed reading bedtime stories
to the kiddies. There was a chance he even did those things, which made him all
the creepier.

Blond and rosy-cheeked,
Peterson was the kind of person you'd invite to a family picnic. You might
even ask him to bring the volleyball net and the horseshoes. And he'd do it,
smiling that casual smile of his. Not even his eyes gave him away. They were an
innocent blue with crinkles at the corners.

The average Joe, especially
if he happened to be lucky, didn't have to worry about a man like Peterson. But
if a guy had a streak of bad luck and had to go to Peterson for some ready
cash, and if that streak of bad luck refused to go away no matter what, well,
then that guy had to worry about Peterson. Peterson liked loaning money. And he
expected to get it back. Or else.