Taming the Moguls (19 page)

“You do?”

“Yes. Is that from helping Dodge?”

“Well, I haven’t been lifting weights in my
free time.” He tugged on her blouse. “Now it’s your turn.
Strip.”

“Bossy.”

“And, Shi, do it like you did the other night
in front of your window. I liked that. A lot.”

She felt her face heat. “I was a little
tipsy.”

“Lyle’s got some beer in the fridge.”

“You want to wait for me to get drunk so I
can strip for you?”

“You’ve waited for me all these years. I’m
willing to wait on you now as a show of good faith.”

“That’s so selfless.”

“That’s me, baby. Selfless for a good
cause.”

She pursed her lips and stared at her
husband, so thankful they were finally on the same page. “Go grab a
beer, but I’m not doing it out here. I’ll be on your air
mattress.”

He hopped up, jogged to the fridge, grabbed
two beers, and had her backed against the door to his bedroom
before she’d managed to go inside. She wouldn’t need the alcohol to
strip for him. She’d do anything to have his attention and his
hands on her as quickly as possible.

“Drink up, baby.” He handed her a beer. She
took a swallow and set it on the floor. She undid his belt and
yanked it from his pants. “You first. Get naked, and I’ll strip for
you.”

He shed his jeans, underwear, and socks in
seconds and lay down on the bed. The air mattress swooshed as he
climbed onto his back and laced his hands behind his head. “Okay,
sweetheart, put your money where your mouth is.”

She felt a nervous queasiness as she lifted
her fingers to her blouse. After unbuttoning the only two buttons
left, she shimmied out of her shirt. When Kevin’s smile dimmed and
his eyes sharpened on her body, she felt empowered. She turned
around and slowly undid the zipper to her skirt. His chest rose and
fell with powerful breaths, and he swallowed. His manhood jumped
when she stepped out of the skirt as it hit the floor.

“Leave the heels on,” he instructed in a
raspy voice.

She obliged while flicking open the clasp to
her bra and peeling away one cup and then the other. He leaned up
on his elbows and stared as she plucked her nipples. Her panties
were next, and she turned around and eased them down to the floor.
When she turned back, he held out a hand to her. She took it and
let him lead her onto the bed.

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever
seen. The only woman I’ve ever wanted. I love you, Shi.” He leaned
over her, surrounded her, and slipped inside. She groaned in
pleasure as he moved. Love poured from her, so familiar and yet so
new. He showed her his love in every touch of his hand, in every
kiss of his lips, in every word mumbled into her ear. That, she
knew, was the start of their new life.

Chapter 38

Gretchen felt something heavy and warm
surround her. She nestled against the source, and it enveloped her
closer. Her mind was filled with images from the past. Her mother,
the pain of losing her, her father’s remarriage to a woman she
barely knew, her new stepbrother, their outrageous attraction, and
finally Ryan. She tried to push through the pain and shock of what
Ryan had done to her, how he’d hurt her and changed her life, but
she couldn’t get beyond the feeling of being trapped beneath
him.

She squirmed, but he held her tighter. She
wanted to get up and move away from him, but there was no escape.
She couldn’t believe what was happening. He was holding her down.
He ripped her shorts, and the pain, the unbearable pain when he
thrust inside her. “NO,” she screamed in her head. “NO, NO, NO.”
But he didn’t stop; he wouldn’t stop. She wouldn’t let him do that
to her again. Not again.

“Gretchen?”

She heard her name. The voice sounded
different and so far away. It sounded like Tommy. Was he there this
time? Could he save her from the awful thing his teammate was
doing? Would he help her? The heaviness continued. Ryan was on top
of her, holding her hands. She had to get away. She must get away.
“NO!” He wouldn’t stop.

“Gretchen, wake up. Gretchen?”

“NO!” With a jolt, she opened her eyes. The
face above hers startled her. It was so close. Too close. “NO! Get
off of me!” The hands released her, and she sat up, clutching the
blanket to her chest. She scooted away until her back crashed into
the couch.

Tommy sat on the floor next to her, his chest
heaving, his hair sticking up as if he’d been asleep. “You were
having a nightmare.”

She couldn’t get her breathing under control.
She looked around and tried to get her bearings. The cabin. They
were in the cabin because of the snowstorm. Ryan wasn’t there. It
was just a dream. A nightmare. “I’m sorry.” She jerked back when he
reached out and tried to touch her. “I’m sorry. I need a minute.”
She ran a hand through her hair and took deep breaths to calm her
racing heart. “It’ll pass, just give me a second.”

Her heart rate slowed from a gallop to a trot
to a fast walk. When her breathing returned to normal, her skin
flushed from embarrassment. God, she wanted to be normal. Why
couldn’t she just be normal? She felt tears spring up behind her
eyes, and she willed them away. “I’m okay. I’m sorry I woke
you.”

“You didn’t wake me. You scared the shit out
of me. You were fighting me, and I couldn’t get you to wake
up.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It doesn’t happen very
often, but when it does, I can’t control it.”

“Is that…was that because of…?”

She stood up so fast the room spun. She
reached out and found purchase against the fireplace while her head
settled. When it did, she bolted for the bathroom. She sat on the
closed toilet and held her head between her knees. She wouldn’t get
sick. The last thing she wanted was for Tommy to hear her vomiting
because she’d mixed up the past and the present in her head. When
the nausea passed, she splashed some water on her face. Her skin
appeared ghostly pale in the light coming in through the window,
and her pupils swam in her eyes. She glanced outside. From the
position of the sun, it had to be early in the morning.

The snow had slowed from a blizzard to a
steady trickle, but it had accumulated and sat stacked almost to
the window. Even with the morning sunshine, she knew it would take
days of direct sun to melt what had amassed overnight. She eased
the door open and tiptoed into the den, hoping Tommy had gone back
to sleep. No such luck; he sat where she’d left him looking wide
awake with a dangerous gleam in his eye.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She nodded and sat down, wrapping the blanket
around her like a shield. “Sorry about that. It’s still early. You
should go back to sleep.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “What
happened? What was that?”

“Just a nightmare. I suppose the events of
the last few days have gotten to me. I’m okay now. You should go
back to sleep.”

“That wasn’t just a nightmare. It seemed more
like a panic attack. You made it sound like you’d had them
before.”

“I’m fine now, Tommy. Really, just fine.” She
glanced at the window, trying desperately to escape his scrutiny.
“It’s still snowing. Not like before, but it hasn’t stopped. The
sun is out, so hopefully it’ll melt.”

He reached out and placed a hand on her foot
under the blanket. “Honey, tell me.”

She stared at her hands where they twisted in
her lap as her heart rate accelerated. “Tell you what?”

“Tell me what just happened. Did you think I
was Ryan?”

She slammed her eyes closed and pinched her
lips tightly together when a sob threatened to break free. She
wouldn’t break down in front of him. She couldn’t. “I don’t want to
talk about it.”

***

“Baby,” Tommy used the endearment without
thinking. He knew he was pushing her. He saw her chest rise and
fall as her breath hitched. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I’m
concerned.”

“It’s just something that happens. I was
exhausted. I haven’t been sleeping well, and you were…you were
close. I don’t do well when people get too close.”

“You were cold. The fire had gone out, and we
were keeping each other warm. I wasn’t trying to…I didn’t…”

“I know. I was dreaming, that’s all.”

“It’s happened before?” She nodded but said
nothing. She was too pale, and she shook beneath the blanket. He
stood, stretched his back, and eyed her while he put his shoes on
and reached for his jacket. “I’m going to get the fire going
again.” She stayed where she sat, more frail and vulnerable than
he’d ever seen her.

The hit of cold air was as effective as a
gallon of coffee. He stepped to the edge of the porch and looked
around but didn’t really take anything in. If he’d had any doubts
about her story of what had happened in the past, about Ryan and
the role he played, they vanished when he woke up and found her
kicking and flailing her arms. She was scared to death and fighting
off an attacker in her dream. Fighting off Ryan Lowry.

A surge of violence rose in him so quickly
and with such force, he wanted to punch through the cabin wall. If
he could get his hands on Ryan, he’d beat the son of a bitch to
death. But Gretchen didn’t need him thinking violent thoughts or
plotting revenge. She needed to warm up and get food in her
stomach. She needed comfort. He could give her that. He would do
everything in his power to make sure she was okay.

Before going inside with an armful of
firewood, he glanced around. The snow was waist high in some spots
and over the tires on his truck. They would have at least another
day in the cabin before he would suggest they try to make it down.
They had food, they had each other, and he would use the time to
try to mend what was broken between them.

She sat in the same spot as when he’d left,
her back arrow straight against the couch, huddled under the
blanket and shaking. He moved to the fireplace and stacked the
wood. Bosco had several boxes of fire starter and matches, so the
fire came quickly to life. Tommy sat on the floor next to Gretchen,
close enough to share his blanket but not touching.

“Thank you,” she said. “I should have thought
to get some wood when I was up. You don’t need to wait on me.”

He spared her a glance with lifted brows.
“You couldn’t lift a feather. You’re so pale. Warm up, Gretch, and
then we’ll see about making some food.”

“Ugh.” She grabbed her stomach. “I don’t
think I could eat.”

Concern and rage dueled in his gut. “You need
to keep your strength up. Something warm in your stomach will
help.”

They sat staring at the fire, listening to
the wood pop and zing onto the hearth. “It’s early still,” he said.
“You should go back to sleep.”

She shook her head as if he’d suggested she
strip naked and run around outside. “No. I’m up.” Her chin had
stopped quivering, but her hands shook when she gathered the
blanket around her shoulders. He held his arms out to help her.
“Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me for
everything.”

“Sorry.”

“Honey.” He took a chance and drew her face
toward his with a finger on her chin. “It’s just me. Relax. I’m not
going to hurt you.”

“I know. That’s not what I meant. I was just
being polite.”

“Well, don’t. I don’t want to have polite
conversations with you while we wait for the snow to melt. That’ll
just piss me off.” A flash of heat spread to her cheeks. Good.
Maybe a spark of temper would get her blood flowing faster than the
fire.

“Do you want me to be rude? Or yell at you
perhaps?”

“No.” He swallowed and fought the warning
bells in his head that told him he was pushing too hard, too fast.
The words came forth before he could stop them. “I want you to tell
me when you’ve had these panic attacks before.”

She stared at him, her eyes fierce. “That’s
none of your business.”

“I’m making it my business. You were scared
to death and fighting for your life. You said it’s happened before.
You said it happened because I was too close.” That was the crux of
it, the reason he couldn’t shake what she’d said. “If you have
trouble with people being too close, how in the world do you have
relationships?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I’m just trying to understand.”

“You don’t need to understand. I haven’t
asked you about your relationships.”

“Do you want to know about the women I date?
About the meaningless hookups I’ve had since…since I moved to the
valley?”

“I don’t have meaningless hookups! I don’t
have the time or the inclination. I have a son, and I have—”

“Panic attacks when people get too close. Are
you telling me you haven’t been with a man since Ryan raped
you?”

She flung her hands over her face. “I don’t
want to talk about this. God, why are you badgering me?”

“Honey, I want to help you.”

She stared at him with an angry glint in her
eyes. “By asking personal questions that are none of your business?
How does that help? Do you want to feel sorry for me because I
can’t be with a man? The one time I tried, I freaked out and
screamed and sent him away as if he’d tried to force me. Do you
want to know how it feels to be so abnormal, so messed up, so
broken?”

Her tears started flowing, and she wiped them
away impatiently. He felt like a bully, forcing her to admit what
he knew was true: Ryan had stolen her youth, and he’d stolen her
womanhood. The man would pay if it was the last thing Tommy
did.

“You’re not broken, baby. You’re not broken.”
He scooted closer and reached for her, pulling her into his chest.
She fought him and pushed against his arms, but she barely had the
energy to resist. He held tight and rubbed her back as she finally
went limp and sobbed in his arms. He soothed her with nonsensical
words, with gentle touches, and with the love he’d never
forgotten.