Taming the Moguls (21 page)

“Tommy…”

“Go.” He kissed her eyebrow, and her eyes
drifted closed. He kissed the other brow, her cheekbone, and the
corner of her mouth before he turned her around and shooed her
toward the hallway with a tap on her butt. “Brush your teeth.
You’ll feel better.”

Oh, she felt, all right. She felt
everything.

Chapter 41

Tommy was playing with fire. He knew that. He
felt the heat, sensed the danger, but he walked into the flames
willingly. As Gretchen had slept in his arms, he’d done nothing but
think about the past: what she’d been through, how she’d survived,
what she’d given up. Within twenty-four hours, the entire focus of
his life had changed.

He hadn’t had even a second’s thought about
work, everything that had gotten him out of bed for the last ten
years. He simply didn’t care about any of that anymore. The only
woman he’d ever loved was back, damaged and hurting, and his only
thoughts were of her. Bear Stream meant nothing. The valley would
change or not change, survive or not survive; he simply didn’t
care.

Gretchen would not spend another second of
any day alone and hurting. Somehow, some way, they would be
together. He would help her put the pain behind her and move
forward. He would make sure Ryan Lowry never touched her or hurt
her ever again.

He rinsed the dishes and washed them with
soap and cold water. It was the best he could do. He’d owe Bosco a
grocery run and a case of beer for use of the cabin. He knew his
friend wouldn’t mind.

Tommy stared as Gretchen came out of the
hallway, picked up the throw from the floor, and draped it around
her shoulders. She wandered around the cabin and stopped at the
window. She was restless, which meant she was feeling better. She’d
combed her hair, and it fell in dark waves down her back.

He’d suggest a game of cards to relax her and
get her mind off the fact that they were stuck. It would hopefully
distract him, as well, from wanting to touch her, to hold her, to
make love to her. He couldn’t fathom ten years of celibacy. Ten
years of unfulfilled desire. He’d spent ten years trying to fill
the void she’d left in his heart. It hadn’t worked, but at least
he’d scratched the itch. Gretchen was too passionate a person to go
without love for one year, much less ten.

Tommy dried his hands on a dishtowel and went
to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, finger combed his hair with
a splash of ice cold water, and inspected the two-day-old beard on
his normally groomed face. It was starting to itch.

Gretchen still stood at the window, staring
out at the whitewashed landscape. He stepped behind her and put his
hands on her shoulders. He felt her tense, and he gently massaged
her muscles until her shoulders relaxed.

“It’s beautiful up here. So quiet. Alex would
love to build a snowman with all that snow.”

Tommy squeezed her shoulders. “It’s powder.
There’s not enough moisture to form a ball. Thank goodness, or it
might be next week instead of tomorrow when we could leave.”

“Good for skiing, I suppose.”

“The best. Do you ski?”

She let out a sarcastic laugh. “No. Never
have.”

“You’d be good. You always were a good
athlete.”

“I’m not sure how soccer and skiing
relate.”

“You’re in good shape.”

She shrugged. “I run when I can. Alex likes
to ride his bike or scooter. We’ve got good trails in Chicago.”

He had to get her out of Chicago and away
from Ryan. Would she move to Lower Fork? Or they could start fresh
somewhere new. If she wanted the city, maybe Denver or Colorado
Springs. “Can’t beat the mountains for the scenery.”

“No,” she said, “you can’t.”

Tommy kept his hands on her shoulders. He
used his thumbs to massage her neck. She closed her eyes and tilted
her head back against his chest. “You’re so tense.”

“That feels incredible.”

Her hair fell away, exposing the long column
of her neck. He stepped closer, leaned down, and kissed the spot
between her collarbone and neck.

Every muscle in her body grew taut. “What are
you doing?”

“I’m working out some of these kinks.”

“No,” she said, her voice low. “The
kiss.”

“You have beautiful skin. You always have.”
He turned her in his arms.

“Tommy…I’m not…I can’t…”

He lowered his head slowly, keeping his eyes
open, and kissed her cheek. He moved to the other cheek, up to her
forehead, over her brow, and down to her chin. When his lips moved
to hover over hers, he paused while their breath mingled. She
lifted her chin, her lips quivering, and sealed them to his.
Everything inside of him urged him to run his hands through her
hair and hold her head so she couldn’t break the connection. He
fought the urge and let his hands drop. He wouldn’t push her.
Whatever they did was up to her.

When she pulled her lips from his, he wanted
to howl. She brought them back, opened for him, and let him in. He
made himself go slow, be patient. She was too fragile, too
vulnerable to overpower. The throw fell to the floor as her arms
reached up and around his neck. He let his hands drift to her hips
but didn’t pull her closer.

The taste of her mouth brought back memories
of long, glorious nights in his apartment. They’d been frantic for
each other after years of resisting. He felt that same frantic need
but fought it. He wouldn’t scare her; he wouldn’t push her. Her
breasts brushed his chest, and his fingers tightened on her waist
before he realized and loosened his grip. He wanted to back her
against the wall and grind against her, but he stood where he was,
aching, throbbing. She inched closer while her tongue tangled with
his. They were drawn as they always were—to mate. When her leg
brushed his jeans, he groaned, and she jumped out of his arms.

“Tommy!” Her hands flew to her mouth. “I
can’t.”

She’d aroused him beyond sanity. She’d
aroused herself if her straining nipples and slumberous eyes told
him anything. She wanted. “You can. I won’t push you. We can go at
whatever speed you want.”

“I don’t want to go at any speed.”

“Honey, now you’re just lying. To both of
us.”

“I can’t do this,” she said. “I thought you
understood.”

“I understand that you tried once with a man
who didn’t know your history. He didn’t know you, Gretchen. I know
you. I know what you’ve been through. I know what you’ve missed out
on, and I know what you want.”

“How can you know what I want? I don’t even
know what I want.”

He ran a finger down her cheek. “Do you know
what I want? I want you to trust me. I want to give myself to you
in a way that makes you feel safe and protected.”

“I don’t feel safe in a man’s arms. I feel
threatened.”

“Did you feel threatened when we were
kissing?”

“No, but…”

“Okay. There’s a way, honey, just trust
me.”

“I do, but—”

“No buts. Trust me?” She nodded and took his
outstretched hand. Tommy led her to the blanket on the floor by the
fire. “I’m going to lay down right here. I won’t do anything you
don’t ask me to do first.”

She swallowed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean if you want to touch me, you can.
I’ll keep my hands at my sides. If you want to undress me or
undress yourself, you can. I won’t ask. I won’t reach for you.
You’re in total control. We do as much or as little as you
want.”

“Tommy, I…I don’t think I can do this.”

“You never get aroused? Ever in the last ten
years?”

Her cheeks turned a luxurious shade of pink.
“I take care of myself. It’s easy, and there’s no one to
misunderstand. No one to hurt or get tangled in my life.”

His heart broke for her. “Honey, it’s not the
same. You’ve denied yourself for a decade. You can’t go your whole
life without that kind of connection.”

“I was never looking for a connection. I’ve
got Alex to worry about.”

“In another ten years—less, actually—he’ll be
gone. There’s too much life, too much passion in you to give up,”
he said.

“I’m not the same person I was before. I’ve
changed.”

“I see you, Gretchen. I feel the pulse in
your neck. I see the passion in your eyes. I taste the desire on
your skin.”

“That part of me is dead.”

“It’s right here, baby. Look me in the eye
and tell me you feel nothing. Don’t lie to me, Gretchen. I don’t
ever want you to lie to me again, no matter what the reason.”

She took a gulping breath, and then another.
“I feel, okay? I feel regret, and I feel sad. I can’t give you what
you want, what you need.”

Did she really think she wasn’t everything
he’d ever wanted? “You’re what I need.”

“You need normal.”

His fingers flexed on her shoulders before he
relaxed his hold. He wouldn’t punish her because his anger at Ryan
flooded his heart. “I need you. I always have.”

She jerked out of his hold. “I can’t do it. I
tried before, and it doesn’t work. That part of my life is
over.”

“You tried once.” He massaged her arms, her
collarbone, her neck. “Did he understand or even care about what
you need?”

“No, but that doesn’t matter.”

“Do you want me?”

“Tommy…”

“There are so many ways to make love. Let me
show you.” He kicked off his boots, lay down on the blanket, and
crossed his arms behind his neck, staring at her. Those glorious
breasts strained against her sweater as she took breath after
breath after breath.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” she
said.

“Whatever you want, honey. Whatever you
want.”

She lowered to her knees and wiped her hands
against her thighs, once, twice. “I liked kissing you.”

“You can kiss me again.”

“Can you sit up?”

He eased into a sitting position and braced
his hands behind his back. She leaned into him slowly. If she were
anyone else, under any other circumstances, he would have thought
she was being coy. But with Gretchen, he knew her fear warred with
her desire. Thank God, for the moment at least, desire was
winning.

Their lips touched briefly, but like a match
to kindling, the fire sprang back to life, engulfing them both. Her
hands rested on his shoulders, but the position was unnatural and
inhibited the full contact they craved. He sat where she told him
and didn’t move.

She let out a frustrated grunt. “This isn’t
comfortable for either of us.”

“So get comfortable.”

“I’d have to…to straddle you.”

“Do whatever you want. I won’t move unless
you tell me to.”

“This is ridiculous.” She was frustrated. She
wanted, that much was clear. He watched as temper, fear, and desire
fought a battle in her mind. He waited and stifled a groan as she
lifted a leg and settled over him, her hands around his neck.

“Am I hurting you?”

He swallowed as his fingers dug into the
blanket. “You can’t hurt me, baby.”

She leaned in, their lips met, and within
seconds, she rocked against him. It took every ounce of his control
not to grab her hips and grind them both to pleasure. He poured his
desire into the kiss, matched her tempo with his tongue, and let
her lead. Her hands fisted in his hair, her hips bowed and flexed
against his arousal, and she pulled back, breathing hard. Without
saying a word, she unbuttoned his shirt with shaking fingers. “Are
you cold?” She peeled the material away.

He shook his head as her eyes studied the
buttons and the flesh she’d exposed. When she reached the bottom,
she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. She ran
her hands over his chest. “You’re so different. You’re strong, but
your body’s changed.”

“No more time in the weight room.” He tried
his best to sound normal, but forming words was difficult when the
feel of her hands on his skin made every nerve in his body ache.
Letting her take the lead, sitting back and not reaching for her,
was the hardest thing he’d ever done.

Until she grazed his flesh with her teeth,
and his hips jolted. She moved against him without leaning in to
kiss him. He watched her ride him, the friction from her pants and
his jeans drawing moans from her lips. He nearly lost control when
she crossed her arms and, in one fluid movement, lifted the sweater
from her body, exposing her peach-colored bra. He leaned back onto
his elbows. She locked her eyes with his and reached for the clasp.
His mouth watered as first one and then the other breast sprung
free. When she massaged each perfect globe, he thought he would
lose his mind.

She leaned over, and he captured a nipple in
his mouth. She groaned and frantically rocked against him. She
brought herself to climax, panting and rocking, rocking and
panting. Tommy went from breast to breast as she slowed and lowered
her head to his shoulder. “Tommy, that was…wow.”

He could only stare at her, the graceful arch
of her back, the glow of her skin, and wonder if she wanted more.
He prayed she wanted more. Love for her swamped him, threatened to
choke him. “You’re so beautiful. So much more than I remember. And
I remember everything.”

Chapter 42

Gretchen felt free and empowered, as if a
door long shut had cracked open. Tommy was on the other side
waiting patiently. She wanted to rip the door from its hinges and
barrel head first into freedom.

He’d done as he said he would. He’d lain on
the floor without touching her. He’d let her straddle him, rock
herself into a mind-blowing climax, and he lay achingly hard
beneath her. He would let her stop. If she said she’d had enough,
he would let her crawl off of him and be done.

She didn’t want to stop. She wanted to see
him, to feel him, to have him inside of her. Just the idea felt
like a breakthrough. She leaned down and kissed him, felt him
quiver beneath her fingers. She ran her hands over his chest. His
head fell back, and he closed his eyes. She could give him that.
She would give them both the greatest gift.