Tea and Sympathy (17 page)

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

Now look, Laura, I know this is a shock to you, because you were fond
of this boy. But you did all you could for him, more than anyone would
expect. After all, your responsibility doesn't go beyond --

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

I know. Doesn't go beyond giving him tea and sympathy on Sunday
afternoons. Well, I want to tell you something. It's going to shock
you . . . but I'm going to tell you.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

Laura, it's late.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Last night I knew what Tom had in mind to do.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

How did you know?

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

I heard him making the date with Ellie on the phone.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

And you didn't stop him? Then you're the one responsible.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Yes, I am responsible, but not as you think. I did try to stop him, but
not by locking him in his room, or calling the school police. I tried
to stop him by being nice to him, by being affectionate. By showing him
that he was liked . . . yes, even loved. I knew what he was going to
do . . . and why he was going to do it. He had to prove to you bullies
that he was a man, and he was going to prove it with Ellie Martin. Well
. . . last night . . . last night, I wished he had proved it with me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

What in Christ's name are you saying?

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Yes, I shock you. I shock myself. But you are right. I
am
responsible
here. I know what I should have done. I knew it then. My heart cried out
for this boy in his misery . . . a misery imposed by my husband. And I
wanted to help him as one human being to another . . . and I failed.
At the last moment, I sent him away . . . sent him to . . .

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

You mean you managed to overcome your exaggerated sense of pity.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

No, it was not just pity. My heart in its own loneliness . . . Yes, I've
been lonely here, miserably lonely . . . and my heart in its loneliness
cried out for this boy . . . cried out for the comfort he could give
me too.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

You don't know what you're saying.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

But I was a good woman. Good in what sense of the word? Good to whom
. . . and for whom?

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

Laura, we'll discuss this, if we must, later on . . .

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Bill! There'll be no later on. I'm leaving you.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

Over this thing?

 

 

 

 

LAURA
(After a moment)

 

 

Yes, this thing, and all the other things in our marriage.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

For God's sake, Laura, what are you talking about?

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

I'm talking about love and honor and manliness, and tenderness, and
persecution. I'm talking about a lot. You haven't understood any of it.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

Laura, you can't leave over a thing like this. You know what it means.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

I wouldn't worry too much about it. When I'm gone, it will probably be
agreed by all that I was an off-horse too, and didn't really belong to
the clan, and it's good riddance.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

And you're doing this . . . all because of this . . . this fairy?

 

 

 

 

LAURA
(After a moment)

 

 

This boy, Bill . . . this boy is more of a man than you are.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

Sure. Ask Ellie.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Because it was distasteful for him. Because for him there has to be love.
He's more of a man than you are.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

Yes, sure.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Manliness is not all swagger and swearing and mountain climbing. Manliness
is also tenderness, gentleness, consideration. You men think you can
decide on who is a man, when only a woman can really know.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

Ellie's a woman. Ask Ellie.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

I don't need to ask anyone.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

What do you know about a man? Married first to that boy . . . again,
a poor pitiable boy . . . You want to mother a boy, not love a man. That's
why you never really loved me. Because I was not a boy you could mother.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

You're quite wrong about my not loving you. I did love you. But not just
for your outward show of manliness, but because you needed me . . . For
one unguarded moment you let me know you needed me, and I have tried
to find that moment again the year we've been married . . . Why did you
marry me, Bill? In God's name, why?

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

Because I loved you. Why else?

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

You've resented me . . . almost from the day you married me, you've
resented me. You never wanted to marry really . . . Did they kid you
into it? Does a would-be headmaster have to be married? Or what was it,
Bill? You would have been far happier going off on your jaunts with the
boys, having them to your rooms for feeds and bull sessions . . .

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

That's part of being a master.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Other masters and their wives do not take two boys always with them
whenever they go away on vacations or weekends.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

They are boys without privileges.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

And I became a wife without privileges.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

You became a wife . . .

 

 

(He stops.)

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Yes?

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

You did
not
become a wife.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

I know. I know I failed you. In some terrible way I've failed you.

 

 

 

 

BILL

 

 

You were more interested in mothering that fairy up there than in being
my wife.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

But you wouldn't let me, Bill. You wouldn't let me.

 

 

 

 

BILL
(Grabbing her by the shoulders)

 

 

What do you mean I wouldn't let you?

 

 

 

 

LAURA
(Quietly, almost afraid to say it)

 

 

Did it ever occur to you that you persecute in Tom, that boy up there,
you persecute in him the thing you fear in yourself?

 

 

(BILL looks at her for a long moment of hatred. She has hit close to
the truth he has never let himself be conscious of. There is a moment
when he might hurt her, but then he draws away, still staring at her. He
backs away, slowly, and then turns to the door)

 

 

Bill!

 

 

 

 

BILL
(Not looking at her)

 

 

I hope you will be gone when I come back from dinner.

 

 

 

 

LAURA
(Quietly)

 

 

I will be . . .

 

 

(Going towards him)

 

 

Oh, Bill, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that . . . it was cruel.

 

 

(She reaches for him as he goes out the door)

 

 

This was the weakness you cried out for me to save you from, wasn't it
. . . And I have tried.

 

 

(He is gone)

 

 

I have tried.

 

 

(Slowly she turns back into the room and looks at it)

 

 

I did try.

 

 

(For a few minutes she stands stunned and tired from her outburst. Then
she moves slowly to TOM'S raincoat, picks it up and turns and goes out
of the room and to the stair-landing. She goes to the boy's study door
and knocks)

 

 

Tom.

 

 

(She opens it and goes in out of sight. At TOM's door, she calls again)

 

 

Tom.

 

 

(TOM turns his head slightly and listens. LAURA opens TOM'S door and
comes in)

 

 

Oh, I'm sorry. May I come in?

 

 

(She sees she's not going to get an answer from him, so she goes in)

 

 

I brought back your raincoat. You left it last night.

 

 

(She puts it on chair. She looks at him)

 

 

This is a nice room . . . I've never seen it before . . . As a matter
of fact I've never been up here in this part of the house.

 

 

(Still getting no response, she goes on. TOM slowly turns and looks at her
back, while she is examining something on the walls. She turns, speaking)

 

 

It's very cozy. It's really quite . . .

 

 

(She stops when she sees he has turned around looking at her)

 

 

Hello.

 

 

 

 

TOM
(Barely audible)

 

 

Hello.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Do you mind my being here?

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

You're not supposed to be.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

I know. But everyone's out, and will be for some time . . .
I wanted to return your raincoat.

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

Thank you.

 

 

(After a pause he sits up on the bed, his back to her)

 

 

I didn't think you'd ever want to see me again.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Why not?

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

After last night. I'm sorry about what happened downstairs.

 

 

 

 

LAURA
(She looks at him a while, then)

 

 

I'm not.

 

 

 

 

TOM
(Looks at her. Can't quite make it out)

 

 

You've heard everything, I suppose.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Yes.

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

Everything?

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Everything.

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

I knew your husband would be anxious to give you the details.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

He did.

 

 

(She stands there quietly looking down at the boy.)

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

So now you know too.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

What?

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

That everything they said about me is true.

 

 

 

 

LAURA

 

 

Tom!

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

Well, it is, isn't it?

 

 

 

 

LAURA.

 

 

Tom?

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

I'm no man. Ellie knows it. Everybody knows it. It seems everybody knew
it, except me. And now I know it.

 

 

 

 

LAURA
(Moves towards him)

 

 

Tom . . . Tom . . . dear.

 

 

(TOM turns away from her)

 

 

You don't think that just because . . .

 

 

 

 

TOM

 

 

What else am I to think?