Tekgrrl (10 page)

“Concerned about me?” I ignored the weird flutter in my stomach. “What about?”

“He said you’ve been having nightmares and popping migraine pills like candy.”

My hackles went up. “I’m fine.” Paul was here in a medical capacity, and I wasn’t having it.

“Then he mentioned something about you hearing voices and seeing things when you were working down here.” He glanced around. “You thought there were ghosts?” His tone made it evident how ridiculous he thought that was.

“I’m fine. I was just tired.”

“Maybe, but I think his concerns are valid.”

“I’ve had nightmares and migraines since I was a teenager,” I grumbled. “It’s an old condition.”

“But why are they intensifying?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Stress, hormone levels?”

“And you hearing and seeing things?”

“Exhaustion, probably. It could be anything.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not crazy.”

“I’m not saying you are. I’m just saying we need to check you out. You’re right, Mindy, it could be anything. It could even be a brain tumor.”

“It’s not a tumor,” I growled.

“Or,” he continued, ignoring me, “it could be something having to do with your time with the Kalybrians.”

My mouth narrowed to a hard line. “It has absolutely nothing to do with that.”

“Luke said you were talking in an alien language the other day.”

“I’m not discussing that.” I turned my back on him.

Paul sighed. “Really, you’re still going to be like this? Even when it’s
Luke
who’s concerned about you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I picked up a pair of pliers and tried to concentrate on work, but Paul slipped up behind me.

“Coming from anyone else I know you’d ignore it, but when Luke says something, I’d think for sure you’d act like it’s advice from on high.”

I slammed down the pliers and turned to face him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, come off it, Mindy.” Paul crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at me like an angry parent. “You follow Luke around all starry eyed, just waiting for him to throw you some scrap of attention. You get your hair dyed and start dressing differently, all in the hope of being what you think he wants. Selena.”

“That is so not true!”

He continued as if I hadn’t interrupted. “For that reason, I thought you’d leap at the chance to have me run some tests on you—because our own Sensei suggested it.”

“You know nothing about me, Paul, so stop acting like you do,” I snapped. “I’m over Luke. I did the hair and clothes thing for myself.”

“Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, Mindy. Delude yourself however you want, just let me run the tests.” He turned to go.

I wasn’t having it. “Delude myself like you do with Kate?”

He froze. I continued.

“Like, how you delude yourself into thinking she actually loves you. Even when we all know she’s cheated on you. Even the tabloids know that.”

It was a low blow and I knew it. I could see his shoulders slump and his body bow like I had physically struck him. I shouldn’t have done it, but I was so angry and defensive that I’d lashed out with everything I had. Why was he pestering me, anyway? I hadn’t asked for his help.

His response was through gritted teeth, and he didn’t turn around. “Tell me about the Kalybrians, Mindy.”

“No.”

“Tell me what daily life with them was like.”

“I’m not going there.”

He turned, stared me down. “Tell me what they had for dinner. Tell me about their holidays and their religious practices. Tell me everything.”

My head was pounding. I hadn’t realized he’d spent much time thinking about my past, no more than to once consider what I’d told him in my entrance interview, and I didn’t want to believe it was particularly relevant now. “I don’t like to think about that, Paul. You know that!”

His dark blue eyes glittered. “Tell me about the night before they took you away. Tell me what you were doing the second before they dragged you down to that cold medical facility and opened up your brain so they could have a poke around.”

“I don’t like to think about that!” I was shaking and crying now, and my head hurt so badly that I grabbed the table for support. I was going to pass out.

“The truth is, you
can’t
think about what they did to you, Mindy,” he said, taking me by the arms and holding me up so that I wouldn’t fall. His eyes drilled into me, and I could see there was no malice in what he said; just concern. “You can’t access those memories at all, can you? I’m sure you wouldn’t
want
to remember, but you physically can’t, can you?”

I was shaking so hard that I held him for support. “What are you talking about?”

He shook his head. “You need to talk to your parents about this, Mindy. Tell them about the headaches. Tell them about the dreams. Tell them about the large hole in your memory that you and I both know is there.” He steadied me on my feet. “And do it today or I’ll have to sideline you.”

He turned and walked to the elevator without another word. I stumbled over to the trash can and immediately threw up breakfast. My head hurt so badly I couldn’t see straight. Sliding down to lay on the floor, I stared up at the ceiling, willing my stomach to stop flipping and my head to stop pounding. I decided to try to think of something else, like how much I hated Paul at that moment. But he was right, damn it. I needed to talk to someone.

“PDA, call a driver,” I croaked from my position on the floor. I was answered by a resounding beep. “I need a car as soon as possible.”

I was going to see my parents.

“Miss, we’re here.”

I was jolted to attention by the driver’s voice and looked around, noticing we’d pulled up in front of a slick steel and glass skyscraper that housed one of the many think tanks in Megolopolis. Sliding my sunglasses on, I flipped up the collar of my trench coat like I was a spy meeting a source or something, and stepped out of the protection of the darkened car and into the bright sunlight.

Wincing at the heat of the sun on my still-pounding head, I moved toward the door held open for me without a second glance by a suited doorman, and stepped into the cool air-conditioned building. A man behind a counter inside was saying into a phone, “Thank you for calling Clark Towers, how may I direct your call? One moment please.”

“I’m here to see the Drs. Clark,” I said, interrupting his rhythm.

“Do you have an appointment?” He didn’t even bother to look up, continuing to answer phones.

“No, but they’ll see me.”

“The Drs. Clark are booked solid and cannot take any unscheduled meetings,” he replied, picking up another call and immediately placing them on hold.

“They will see me,” I repeated.

He finally looked up, exasperated. “I don’t think so, Miss.”

I lowered my sunglasses. “Clark. Mindy Clark. The Drs. Clark’s daughter. Tell my parents I’m here to see them. Right now.”

He studied me as if in disbelief—okay so the new hair probably threw him—then blanched, finally recognizing me from my many newspaper photos. “Of course, Miss Clark! Right away, Miss Clark!” He picked up the phone and dialed a number, hands shaking, and then quickly hung up the receiver. “Only…”

“Yes?”

“Your father is out of town on business. And I’m not sure if your mother is in the building.”

“Well, can you check please?” I asked, trying to remember my manners. It wasn’t this guy’s fault that I’d only visited the building a handful of times, and my parents not much more than that since my return to Earth. “And can I please wait somewhere a bit more comfortable?” I motioned around at the chairless and empty lobby.

“Yes, of course, Miss Clark.” He dialed the phone again and, after a few terse words, handed me a security badge. “Take the elevator up to the thirtieth floor and someone will be waiting to take you to your mother.”

“Thank you,” I said, accepting the badge. “Have a nice day.”

“Thank you, miss. You, too,” the man said, and went back to answering phones, though obviously shaken.

Stepping into the elevator and holding up my security badge in front of the reader, suddenly I was on my way to see my mother for the first time in years.

I’m as much to blame as they are,
I reminded myself on the trip up. Neither of my parents had ever been the nurturing type, and when I came back from Kalybri a little harder to handle—whether because of what happened to me or natural teenage hormones—it was decided by everyone that I needed a change of scenery. This led to my attending college at the ripe old age of thirteen, followed by graduate school at seventeen, making service trips to help third-world countries with my professors during breaks. I’d subsequently joined the Elite Hands of Justice and trained with the Reincarnist, so there just hadn’t been much opportunity to go home. Not that I was ever invited.

The elevator doors dinged open, interrupting my thoughts, and a woman strode out purposefully.

“Miss Clark?” the woman asked, and I nodded in affirmation. “Great, if you’ll just follow me, your mother has a window of ten minutes in which to see you.”

“Nice of her to make time,” I responded.

“Yes, she had to rearrange a few things,” the secretary agreed, obviously not getting my sarcasm as she led me through a silent corridor and a set of double doors. She handled several security clearances while I waited silently.

We finally entered a large lab where a woman with graying brown hair and wearing a plain black suit and white lab coat was having an earnest conversation with a man similarly dressed. She looked up as we approached, pushed her wide glasses up on the bridge of her nose.

“Yes?” she asked, as if she had no clue who I was or why I was there. Although how she could not recognize me I didn’t know; I was her mirror image, give or take a few decades and wearing more stylish clothes.

I stepped forward. “Hi, Mom. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule.”

Sarcasm is lost on scientific types. “Of course, Mindy. It’s good to see you.” She moved forward to embrace me. “You are looking very nice. I’m glad you finally decided to change your hair back to normal and dress a bit more appropriately.”

“Yeah, well…” I didn’t want to do this in front of her staff. “Is there somewhere we can go to have a discussion? In private?”

My mother blinked, like it hadn’t occurred to her until now that other people were around, and that I might not want to discuss my mental issues in front of them. “Oh. Yes. Why don’t we take this into my office? Isla, bring me a mineral water. Mindy?”

I waved her off. “Nothing, thanks.”

“One mineral water,” my mother said, motioning for me to follow. “It’s not that I’m not happy to see you, Mindy, but you’ve caught me off guard and I simply don’t have a lot of time to spare these days.”

“So what else is new?”

She frowned and opened the door to her plush office. “Now, Mindy, don’t take that tone. You know things are always crazy around Nobel season.”

“I know, Mom. I’m not trying to pick a fight,” I said, taking the plush, buttery leather seat to which she motioned. “I just meant that you’re always busy. That’s nothing new.”

“Now, what’s wrong that you needed to see me immediately?” she asked, taking the chair opposite and behind her desk. It was unquestionably the position of power.

I took a deep breath. “My migraines are getting worse.”

“Well, you’ve suffered from them from such a young age. Maybe it’s time to discuss changing medications.”

“And I’ve been having terrible nightmares again, too.”

She nodded. “I’m the side of the family you get that from, Mindy, remember? It’s always worse around
that
time—your menstrual cycle is a big part of the problem. You might want to discuss with your gynecologist getting on birth control pills that limit your cycle.”

I shook my head. “Mom, the dreams are about my time on Kalybri. And I’m hearing voices and experiencing…well, weird things.”

My mother’s face went white. “What are you dreaming about Kalybri, Mindy?”

“These…monsters are operating on me.” I shuddered. “They’re speaking Kalybrian. I’m speaking Kalybrian after I wake up, and I thought I’d forgotten the language.” I set my hands on the edge of her desk. “Mom, I know that I was experimented on when I was away. I know that.” My voice dropped to a whisper. “But I don’t remember anything else.”

“You don’t want to remember, Mindy,” my mother said in a quiet voice.

I smacked my palms on the top of her desk. “No, Mom, that’s not it. Paul’s right, I
can’t
remember. There’s a huge gap in my memory from the day you put me on the ship with the Kalybrians to the day when I woke up back here.” I took a deep breath, feeling my head pound and nausea burn in my throat. “The day I woke up back here in considerable pain and thousands of times smarter.”

My mother’s eyes actually filled with tears, the second time I ever remember seeing her cry. The first was the very time I was mentioning.

“Mindy,” she said.

“You told me that I was experimented on, that they weren’t trying to hurt me, they were trying to help in their own way by making me better, smarter. That the best thing for me to do was to try not to remember.” I felt a tear slide down my cheek. “Did you know that I couldn’t, Mom?”

She paused, then nodded. “I’m sorry, Mindy. They told us it was for the best.”

“Who did?”

“The Kalybrians. They told us about what had happened to you, and said that from all of the trauma associated…well, it would be better if you didn’t remember. They were worried you’d go mad. So they put up memory blocks.”

I frowned. “So, let me get this straight. While they were opening up my brain and rearranging things to make me smarter, these aliens also decided to block all my memories of my time there.”

My mother nodded. “It was for the best, Mindy.” She cleared her throat. “You didn’t see yourself when you came back.”

“I was in a coma!”

She shook her head. “No, you weren’t. Not when you first arrived. You were wide awake. And you were screaming.” She shuddered. “I still hear your screams when I’m trying to fall asleep. Lord, it was terrible. You scratched and clawed anyone who tried to come near you, even me and your father. The Kalybrians said that the blocks would help.”