Tell Me No Spies (39 page)

A jab in my butt.

Then nothing.

I woke in mindless
terror, thrashing uselessly against the restraints while pain
hammered my body.

“Aydan, stop, you’re
safe.” Kane’s voice. I froze, blinking and squinting, trying to
focus while my panicked panting whistled in my throat. I was back
in the dentist’s chair. Wearing a hospital gown. Helpless. Kane sat
beside me on the chair Richardson had occupied.

“Aydan, it’s all
right, you’re safe,” he repeated.

In an instant, I
understood. Kane had once told me effective torture was mostly
psychological. They must have placed me in a sim while I was
unconscious. I had expected them to try to mess with my mind, but I
hadn’t expected this.

I lay whimpering and
trembling, unable to control either my voice or my body.

“Aydan.” He brushed my
cheek with his fingertips, and I jerked away, shuddering.

It was a sim. Only a
sim. I concentrated desperately on making the chair and the
restraints insubstantial.

Nothing happened, and
panic overtook me again while I fought wildly, beyond rational
thought.

“Stop! Aydan, stop!”
The avatar that looked like Kane grabbed my shoulders. “Aydan,
listen to me, it’s over. You’re safe. You’re not with Fuzzy
Bunny.”

“Liars!” I shrieked.
“Filthy fucking lowlife murdering liars!”

“I’m not lying. You’re
safe.” He held my face between his palms and I twisted, trying to
bite him.

He clamped down,
pinning my head to the chair, and leaned over me. Completely
incapacitated, I glared up at the avatar, distilling all my despair
and horror and loss into a concentrated beam of hatred. If I could
have killed through sheer force of will, he would be nothing but a
heap of crumbling ash.

“Nice sim,” I snarled.
“How are you doing it?”

“Aydan, it’s not a
sim. This is real. You’re really safe.”

I gasped a couple more
breaths, grappling for control. “Yeah. I feel really safe. Tied to
a chair with your handy-dandy torch all ready to go.”

He followed my gaze to
the torch that lay on the floor in the corner. I jerked my head
loose to try to bite him again, and he yanked his hands away.

“No,” he said
urgently. “Nobody will hurt you, I promise.”

“Well, thanks, now I
feel all warm and fuzzy.” I heaved at my bonds again. Had I felt
the faintest bit of give? I wrestled them some more, sweat
trickling down my body, heart pounding.

“Aydan, if you’ll stop
struggling, I’ll undo the restraints. Please, just stop
fighting.”

A tiny flame of hope
kindled. I went limp, gasping for breath. “John,” I quavered. “Oh,
thank God, John, is it really you? Please… hurry… get me out of
here…”

“It’s all right,
Aydan,” he repeated as he rapidly undid the straps. “I’ll have you
out in a minute-”

He broke off abruptly
when I put all my strength into a violent lunge, fists swinging.
The force of my attack sent him staggering back, and I spun toward
the door.

I hadn’t even taken a
step when his massive arms wrapped around me. His weight pinned me
against the wall while I thrashed and screamed.

I knew I couldn’t win.
There was no strength left in my muscles and no hope left in my
heart. My attempts grew feebler until I was completely immobilized.
I would have spat at him, but I had neither the spit nor the
energy.

“Aydan, please! It’s
all right! It was a setup. You’re safe. Everything’s okay.”

“Okay?” My voice rose.
“Bullshit! The real Kane would never, ever tie me to a chair! The
real Kane would never, ever try to tell me everything was okay when
his best friend…”

The last shreds of
control slipped away and a raw shriek burst from my throat.
“Arnie’s dead and you’re trying to tell me it’s okay, you…
you…”

Suddenly I was crying
and screaming and beating my head against him, the only part of my
body I could still move.

Richardson ran in, and
a jab in my arm made the room dissolve.

In my dream, Arnie’s
raspy voice growled gentle nonsense while his hand stroked the hair
away from my face. I squeezed my eyes tightly closed, willing the
dream to continue. Tears prickled the backs of my eyelids and I
held them in with fierce concentration.

He brushed a kiss
across my forehead, a familiar touch of warm lips and prickly
whiskers.

“Hey, darlin’, wake
up.”

I lay still. As long
as I could hear his voice and feel his touch in the dream, I could
pretend I was safe and he wasn’t dead.

The bed dipped as he
sat on it, and I felt his arms around me. “Hey. Aydan. Come on,
darlin’, I know you’re in there.”

My eyes flew open
despite myself, only to be confronted by a nightmare face.

“Sorry I ain’t much to
look at.” He chuckled. “But, hell, I never was. It ain’t that much
worse’n usual.”

I gaped at the bruises
ranging from deepest black through purple to a delicate though
unflattering shade of yellow-green. His left eye was swollen
completely shut, and his nose was so heavily packed and taped that
the rest of his face was barely visible.

I jerked back,
wrapping my arms over my head to curl away from the monstrosity
they’d created.

“Stop!” I tried to
yell, but my voice came out in a broken rasp. “I won’t! I don’t
care what you do, I won’t. I know this isn’t real. I know he’s
dead.”

“It’s okay, darlin’,”
he said. “I ain’t dead, an’ you’re safe.”

I flinched away from
his gentle touch. “Aydan,” he persisted, “It’s okay. Ya gotta
believe me.”

I coiled up tighter. I
couldn’t bring myself to hit the injured construct that looked and
sounded so much like him.

“Aw, darlin’,” he
said, and I tried to close my ears to the rough-edged rumble I’d
never hear again.

“Ya think this’s one
a’ those mind control things, don’t ya?” he asked softly. “This’s
real, darlin’, an’ I’ll prove it to ya. I’ll tell ya somethin’ only
I could know, same as ya did for me this summer.”

I froze. My heart
listened with desperate hope even while my mind tried to block out
his words.

“I know Steven abused
ya. I know ya won’t let yourself need anybody, ever again. An’ I
know how to put a smile on your face in the passenger seat of a
highway tractor.”

A single sob leaked
out as I uncurled to stare at him. His arms closed around me and I
touched his swollen, split lips with trembling fingers.

“Arnie?” My voice was
nothing but a husky whisper.

“Shhh, darlin’, ya
just about blew out your vocal cords.” He pulled me closer,
stroking my hair.

“But… I saw Richardson
shoot you.”

“Yeah. Trank gun.
Bastard. I owe him one for that.”

I started to shake as
reality flooded in. “You’re not dead.” My eyes welled up despite my
best efforts.

“Not last time I
checked. Hey, darlin’, don’t cry. Didn’t think you’d be that
disappointed I’m alive an’ kickin’.”

I flung my arms around
him, battling the tears that squeezed out anyway, and he cradled me
in his strong arms, muttering comfort and stroking my hair.

I fought my way back
to control and pulled away, turning to discover a convenient tissue
box on the small table beside the bed. I blew my nose and took
stock of my surroundings for the first time.

There was an IV in my
hand, although it wasn’t connected to the pole that stood in the
corner. The bed looked hospital-issue, and a panel in the wall
contained various knobs and fittings. There was a small white
dressing on my arm. The burn underneath still throbbed.

Arnie’s voice was soft
behind me. “Ya okay, darlin’?”

“Yeah. Sorry about
that,” I quavered.

“Aydan, ya got nothin’
to apologize for. You’re amazin’, darlin’, an’ a few tears don’t
change that.”

“Thanks.” I didn’t
turn to meet his eyes. “Did they tell you…” I gulped as my fragile
composure threatened to shatter again. “Arnie, Dave…”

“Dave’s okay, darlin’.
They checked him out, stress test an’ EKG an’ everythin’, an’ he’s
fine, ‘cept for his back still hurts. Nichele’s fine, too.
Everybody’s fine.”

I gasped a couple of
shallow, ragged breaths, and Arnie’s hands closed on my shoulders.
“Take it slow, darlin’. Just breathe with me. Nice an’ slow.”

I turned to burrow
into his arms again. To hell with not needing anybody. I needed to
feel his familiar bulky body against me, his powerful arms around
me. Needed to hear his gravelly voice muttering tenderly in my
ear.

At last, I took a few
deep breaths, then pulled away and straightened.

“Thanks,” I whispered.
Another long breath. “I’m okay now. Where am I? How did you get me
out? What time… no, what day is it? Was it… How much of it was
real?”

My numb mind staggered
in circles, unable to believe this was reality. Maybe it was still
a sim. But it couldn’t be. Arnie was the only one who could know
about the passenger seat.

Arnie held up his
hands. “I dunno much myself. You’re in a private room in the
secured part a’ the Silverside hospital. It’s about three o’clock,
Tuesday afternoon. I dunno about anythin’ that happened to ya after
I got tranked. I woke up here in the hospital, too. Guess they
brought us in by helicopter.”

“Where was I? Who got
me out? Did they catch Richardson?”

“Richardson ain’t a
traitor, darlin’, it was a setup. An’ I dunno about any a’ the
rest, you’ll hafta ask Kane.”

I gulped. “Is he
here?”

“Yeah, but I only saw
him a few minutes ago when he grabbed me an’ said ya needed
me.”

“What about James? Is
he dead?”

Arnie scowled. “Nah.
No such luck. Richardson tranked him, too.”

I ran a shaking hand
over my face. “I completely forgot about those damn ballistic trank
guns. I heard the shots and saw the casings, and I just believed…”
My voice shook and I clammed up.

“Hell, I did, too,
darlin’. I really thought I was free a’ that fucker this time.” He
brightened. “But the good news is, he ain’t gonna go through the
public legal system this time. No fancy lawyers an’ plea
bargaining. This time that fuckin’ asshole’s gonna pay his
dues.”

I took his hand,
wincing at the sight of his injuries. “Arnie, I’m so sorry.”

“Darlin’, what the
hell for? Ya ain’t done anythin’ wrong.”

“I’m sorry you had to
go through this because of me. I’m sorry for what James did to you.
Now, and… earlier.”

He brushed a kiss
across my lips. “No big deal, darlin’.”

I held his face gently
as he pulled away. “You never let anybody in, do you?”

He went very still,
and then one corner of his bruised mouth quirked up. “It’s
different when I do it.”

I laughed.

A tap on the door
startled me. I shot Arnie an uncertain glance, and he nodded
reassuringly.

“Come in.” My voice
was still a hoarse whisper.

“Come on in,” Arnie
called.

I tensed instinctively
when Kane stepped through the door. He stopped immediately. “Did
you tell her?” he asked.

“As much as I know,”
Arnie said coolly.

A spasm twisted Kane’s
face. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t have time to say it before,
but I owe you a huge apology. I wasn’t thinking straight. I know
you’d never stab me in the back. Or you wouldn’t have, anyway. I
don’t deserve your trust now, but…”

“Aw, shut the fuck
up,” Arnie rasped. “Ya dumb shit, ya really think a little
misunderstandin’s gonna fuck things up between us? You’re the only
fam’ly I got.” He stood. “Lemme know when you’re done debriefin’. I
wanna talk to Aydan again later.” He limped out, slapping Kane’s
back on his way by.

The relief on Kane’s
face made me smile despite myself.

He smiled, too, the
taut lines easing from his face. “There’s nothing like almost
losing something to make you realize how important it is,” he said
quietly.

“Amen,” I agreed.
“Speaking of which, um… am I going to live to see tomorrow?”

His smile widened.
“Yes. Lots of tomorrows. Stemp’s rescinded the order. Everything’s
fine.”

“Maybe for you it is,”
I said, and watched his smile fade. “Was that really you, earlier?
When I was in the chair?”

He eyed me unhappily
for a moment, and took a deep breath. “Yes. Aydan, you have to
believe I was trying to help you. The restraints were Stemp’s
orders. I couldn’t convince him otherwise. I really thought you’d
believe me. I thought you knew I’ll always come to rescue you-”

“And Richardson
torturing me,” I interrupted. “That was a setup, too? I was here
all along?”

“Yes, Aydan, I’m
sorry…”

“Save your breath.
Let’s just get the debriefing done, okay?” I rose carefully, and he
took a step toward me, hands half-reaching.

“Do you need help?” he
asked tentatively.

“No.” I grabbed the
robe that hung on the back of the door and shakily donned it. “Lead
on.”

After a short, silent
trip down the hallway, Kane opened a door for me and I stepped
through. The three men around the table rose, and I froze at the
sight of Mark Richardson.

His handsome face
twisted as if in pain. “Aydan, I’m so sorry, I…”

“Save it,” I
interrupted. “First I want the whole story.”

He nodded and shut up,
muscles rippling in his jaw.

My gaze skimmed over
Spider’s pale, drawn face to meet Stemp’s reptilian eyes.

“So you set me up.
Again. That’s getting old.” I preferred to think my hoarse whisper
lent menace to the words.

Stemp shrugged,
impassive as always. “Please sit, and we’ll begin debriefing.”

The sound of his voice
sent a shock of recognition through my body. “You. You were the one
who wanted to keep me tied to the chair.”

He eyed me coolly. “So
you were awake then. I warned the good doctor not to underestimate
you. Now he has a tangible reminder of the wisdom of that advice,
in the form of a broken nose. Please, sit.”