Tell Me No Spies (42 page)

Hellhound clapped him
on the shoulder. “Now you’re gettin’ it.” He turned to me. “I gotta
go. I gotta see a client in Calgary tonight. Ya need a ride,
darlin’?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess I
do. I’ll have to get my car.”

“No need,” Kane said.
“We impounded it from Nichele’s the day you left. I had it
delivered back to your farm last night. I’ll take you home.”

I surveyed him in
pleased surprise. “Thanks!”

Arnie began to drift
toward the door, his arm still around me. “Damn, darlin’, I was
hopin’ we’d have time for a little celebration later. I wanna see
ya put some drag-racin’ moves on my stickshift.”

I linked my arms
around his neck and pressed close. “Yeah, my slushbox needs some
work, too, and you’ve got just the right tool. Too bad you’re
leaving.”

He grinned. “I might
be back.”

I kissed him. “Better
be.”

Kane and I got into
his Expedition in silence. We had driven for several minutes before
he spoke abruptly. “Webb said you were wondering if your family had
been executed. Did you find the information you were looking
for?”

I stared out the
windshield. “No. Spider said all information on me had been
redacted, and I couldn’t find anything on my own.”

“What will you do
now?”

“Nothing. I have no
place left to look. And you don’t need to ask what I’m going to be
doing, because I have to give you a notarized report every time I
sneeze or go to the bathroom from here on in. Stemp made that
pretty clear. Either that or I get locked up.”

He shot a sidelong
glance at me, which I ignored. “You understand it’s for your own
safety, don’t you?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

We rode in silence for
a few more minutes.

“Your father and your
uncle both died natural deaths,” he said. “The circumstances around
your mother’s car accident were… unusual, but our government didn’t
kill any of your family, directly or indirectly.”

I jerked around in the
seat to stare at him. “How did you find that out?”

He kept his eyes on
the road. “I called in some favours. There’s more, too.”

My hands trembled as I
folded and unfolded the seatbelt over my chest. “What?” My voice
cracked, and I cleared my throat and swallowed hard.

“Back in the
mid-sixties, the idea of the brainwave driven network was
conceived. A few years later, Sirius began widespread testing of
school-aged children, looking for specific brainwave patterns.”

My heart hammered.
“And I was one of them.”

“Yes. You were one of
only six in the entire country who fit the parameters. Dr. Kraus
developed a system of exercises designed to develop and enhance
those patterns. Over the years, the other children’s patterns
stagnated and eventually deteriorated despite the exercises. Yours
didn’t.”

“Testing three times a
year. And the exercises that he called games.”

“Yes,” he confirmed.
“You weren’t supposed to remember them. The others didn’t. But you
were different. By the time you reached junior high school, it
became apparent that you were the best hope for what Kraus had in
mind. It was then that Sirius recruited your father.”

“Who began to work for
the government. Carrying a gun. And teaching me to shoot.” I
squeezed my eyes shut briefly, willing away the dizziness and
nausea. “You’re telling me I’ve been manipulated my entire
life.”

Muscles jumped in his
jaw. “They tried. You were supposed to be recruited into the
computer program right out of high school. Your father was supposed
to encourage you in the right direction. That didn’t happen.”

I tried to suck oxygen
out of air that seemed suddenly too thin. “When Mom died, we just…
shut down. Just going through the motions. I couldn’t deal with the
thought of an academic program, so I went into drafting instead,
got a quick certificate, and started working.”

“And met your first
husband,” Kane said tightly. “That’s when they deployed Robert, but
it was already too late. You were too damn loyal, and you wouldn’t
break it off with Steven, even though you should have.”

“Hindsight’s
twenty-twenty,” I said faintly.

I had already
suspected what he was telling me, but the confirmation was almost
more than I could bear. I stared blindly at the highway lines
dashing by outside the SUV. One at a time, too quickly to count,
like wasted years slipping away.

“I can’t believe they
made Robert hang around all those years,” I said finally. “No
wonder he went rogue at the end.”

“They didn’t make
him,” Kane said gently. “He volunteered. Year after year. He took
over the mission to manipulate you into working for Sirius. For
years, he sent in reports describing his efforts. When your first
marriage finally ended, he said he would have to marry you in order
to apply more pressure, and the department approved it. He was
still sending in reports detailing his plans and efforts to bring
you into Sirius the week before he died.”

Confusion clouded my
brain, and I turned to frown at Kane. “He never even mentioned
Sirius. And he never wanted me to do anything with computers. When
I took those computer courses, it was almost like he was
discouraging me.”

Kane continued, still
watching the road. “By that time, Stemp was in the director’s
position, and he asked some hard questions. When the analysts
really dug into it, they couldn’t verify any of Robert’s reported
activities. Then they discovered he was secretly making plans to
take you out of the country and give you a new identity. Stemp
ordered me to eliminate him before he could complete his scheme. He
had airline tickets for both of you, for the evening he died.”

“He said he had a
surprise for me, and I was so looking forward to it. He came home
early that day to celebrate.” Cold sickness tunnelled into the pit
of my stomach. “So he was working for Fuzzy Bunny all along.”

Kane slowed to turn
into my lane and stopped at the gate. He turned to meet my eyes.
“No, he wasn’t. He was protecting you. He loved you, Aydan. He knew
the kind of life you’d lead if you worked for Sirius, and he was
willing to do whatever it took to prevent that. Even if it meant
making you vanish. Even if it cost him his life.”

His words slowly
penetrated my brain, and I stared out the window, blinking
hard.

Kane got out and
unlocked the gate, and by the time he returned, I had my voice more
or less under control. I’d also had a chance to consider what he
must have done in order to get this information. Even Spider’s
super-hacker skills hadn’t been able to unearth it.

I swallowed hard and
met his eyes. “Thank you. This means… more to me than you can
imagine.”

“You’re welcome. I
owed you that, and a lot more besides.”

Another thought hit
me.

“So…” My voice
quavered, and I stopped and tried again. “So when the perfect farm
came up for sale here in Silverside… My dream farm… That wasn’t
coincidence, was it?”

“No. It took them
almost two years to get it set up. They had to acquire the house
and land, get your requirements from your real estate agent, update
the property, and then list it and make sure it went only to you.”
He shot a wry smile at me. “You made it easy. All they had to do
was build that deluxe garage. They didn’t even have to renovate the
house.”

Hurt and anger burst
out of me. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Please believe I
would have told you if I’d known,” he said quietly. “If I had known
this from the start, it might have changed… a lot of things. Stemp
doesn’t believe in providing any more details than what’s
absolutely necessary to accomplish what he wants.”

He parked beside the
house and turned to face me. “I still owe you that apology. Aydan,
I can’t tell you how sorry I am. If you’d been able to trust me
enough to come to me with these questions, this latest disaster
could have been averted. And I took a bad situation and made it
worse.”

His steady gaze
faltered, and he turned to stare at his whitening knuckles on the
steering wheel. “I was angry and… hurt. And I let that get in the
way. It wasn’t just unprofessional, it was childish, and I’m
sorry-”

“John, it’s okay,” I
interrupted. “You had orders. You were doing your job. I’ve always
admired your sense of duty, and it’s not your fault that I don’t
always like what your duty demands.”

“To hell with duty!”
He turned and took my hand, searching my face. “Aydan, I wouldn’t
have killed you. Not even under a direct order.” He swallowed. “I
didn’t know you’d been communicating with Webb. I didn’t want to
believe it, but I was starting to think you’d betrayed m… our team
and gone rogue. And when I thought you’d turned Arnie against me,
I… did and said some things I regret.”

“We both overreacted.
I’ll forgive you, if you’ll forgive me for taking off and leaving
you holding the bag. And I hope you’ll forgive me for saying some
things I didn’t mean, too. Can we just put it behind us?”

His face softened, and
he drew in a deep breath. “Yes. Thank you. I… yes.”

He shifted in his
seat, his clear grey eyes serious. “Aydan, there’s something else I
have to say. I… you won’t want to hear it.”

My shoulder muscles
coiled into slow knots, and I held my voice steady with an effort.
“Add it to the list of things I didn’t want to hear. Spit it
out.”

“Aydan…” He stopped as
if gathering his strength. “You know I’ve never lied to you.”

“So you said.”

He flinched. “I’ve
never lied to you,” he repeated firmly. “I can’t make you believe
that, but it’s the truth.”

I sighed. “John,
you’re a spy, and spies lie as easily and convincingly as they tell
the truth. I’ll never know who you really are, and I’ll never know
whether you’re lying to me or not.”

I looked up to read
the pain in his face. I paused, uncertain, then took a deep breath
and made the decision. “So, this is probably stupid, but I’m just
going to trust you unless you give me a reason not to.”

I hadn’t realized how
rigidly he was holding himself until he relaxed. “Thank you,” he
murmured.

“You’re welcome.” I
made my voice as casual as I could. “If we can, I’d like us to be
friends again.”

His voice was very
quiet. “Always.”

“Thanks.” I gave him a
smile as I opened the door and slid out.

“Aydan.”

I leaned into the
truck. “Yeah.”

“Remember when I said
earlier that you sometimes don’t realize how much something means
until you think you’ve lost it?”

“Yeah.” I glanced up
at the sound of a vehicle turning into my driveway. Tom’s truck.
Shit.

“I thought I’d lost
you.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve spent the last few months trying
to ignore how I feel. Telling myself that what I want can’t happen.
But when I saw you and Arnie together, I…”

Tom’s truck rolled up,
gravel crunching behind me. Kane’s fist clenched on the steering
wheel and he spoke quickly, staring out the windshield. “I know you
don’t want to hear this, and I won’t bring it up again. But I have
to say it, because I obviously didn’t say it clearly enough this
summer.”

He turned at last to
meet my eyes, his hand reaching out between us. “Aydan, I love you.
I’m not saying that because I have orders. I’m saying it because I
can’t help it. I love you,” he repeated.

His words hung in the
air.

A door slammed behind
me, and I turned to face Tom. His gaze raked Kane before turning to
me. “Aydan, is everything all right?” he asked dangerously.

I sighed.
“Everything’s fine. And John was just leaving.”

I gently closed the
door of the Expedition.

A Request

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Book 1: Never
Say Spy

Book 2: The
Spy Is Cast

Book 3: Reach
For The Spy

Book 4: Tell
Me No Spies

Book 5: How
Spy I Am

Book 6: A Spy
For A Spy

Book 7: Spy,
Spy Away

Book 8: Spy
Now, Pay Later

Book 9: Spy
High

Book 10: Spy Away
Home

Book 11: To be
released early 2016