Tempting Rowan (Trace + Olivia #3) (29 page)

“What’s going on?” Tristan asked. “Tell me, Row!” He cried, tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping off his chin.

I took his small face between my hands. “Tristan,” I whispered his name, “mom’s dead.”

His little face crumpled and he squeezed his arms tightly around my neck. “Does this mean you’re our mommy now?” He asked, his tears soaking my shirt.

I kept quiet, because I didn’t know what to say.

“Can we sleep in your bed tonight, Row?” Ivy asked. “I don’t want to sleep by myself,” she whispered.

“Of course,” I replied, my eyes connecting with hers as I hugged Tristan.

They were both already in their pajamas so I fixed them in bed, and set about fixing them something to eat. I wasn’t hungry after everything that had happened tonight, and they probably weren’t either, but I wanted them to at least try to eat.

I found some microwave chicken nuggets and the fries you bake in the oven. It would do in a pinch.

As the food cooked, I carried bottles of water back to my room.

I smiled when I saw Ivy speaking to Tristan, her arm draped protectively over his shoulder.

I wanted
so desperately to tell Tristan that I was his mom, but I wasn’t sure that was the best thing. Would it be better to let him be older before I told him? Or was now okay? There wasn’t a proper procedure for this, and I felt so clueless. I wanted someone to tell me what to do. I was sick and tired of always being the person that had to figure things out.

Their food finished cooking and
I fixed them plates. It smelled good, and I found my stomach rumbling, so what was left I put on a third plate for myself.

“We’re having a picnic in Row’s bed!” Tristan clapped his hands.

I laughed, shaking my head.

The horror of our mom having been dead in the living room had already left Tristan.
The woman had been awful, and children processed things differently than adults.

I didn’t have a TV in my room, so the thr
ee of us sat lined up in my bed eating our food, and filling the silence with our chatter.

Since the ambulance and police officers left, a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I didn’t have to lie or worry about pissing off my mom anymore. I was beginning to feel the first inkling of freedom and I wanted to grasp onto it and never let it go. I wouldn’t be imprisoned any longer.

“What’s going to happen to us, Row?” Ivy whispered once the lights were off and we’d laid down to go to sleep. “Are they going to take us away from you?”

I reached over Tristan’s body, since he was snuggled between us, and grasped Ivy’s hand. “I will
never
let anyone take you guys from me,” I spoke fiercely. “I promise.”

“I love you,” she sniffled, and I knew she was crying.

“I love you too.”

c
hapter nineteen

After I took the kids to school, I packed up everything that belonged to us—which wasn’t much. I had no plans of sleeping here tonight. I knew it would be pretty much impossible to find a place to rent on such short notice, but if it came to it, I knew Colleen would be happy to let us stay with her. My grandparent’s lived too far away for them to be an option, because of Tristan and Ivy being in school.

I packed what I could into my car, having to leave some things behind because there wasn’t room. Once I found a place to stay it would only take one more trip back here to have everything.

Even though I’d showered, I felt dirty from having been in that house. Its nastiness clung to me and I wanted it off—but that wouldn’t happen until I was gone and never had to come back.

I was thankful that I only had to work today and didn’t have classes. I didn’t need the added stress on top of what I already had to deal with.

My mom was dead—this lone thought playing on repeat in my mind.

I think a part of me was still shocked.

I’d believed someone as vile and despicable as her would never die. I felt like she’d stick around, always reminding me of my sins, and what I lost.

But she was gone, and I was free of my binds. I could be Tristan’s mother. I didn’t have to lie, or disappear from his life when it became unacceptable for me to be there if he believed I was merely his sister.

Now that Trenton knew the truth, and Tristan would know soon, I felt…
at peace.

The moment I signed those damn papers, I lost my freedom. Now, thanks to a stroke of luck, I had it back. I had been stuck in a prison for so long, that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t have to work so hard now, and hide money, because I didn’t have to fight for custody.

Everything was falling into place for me.

Well, almost everything.

I had lost Trenton, and I was never getting him back, so there would always be damage to my heart.

That was okay,
though, because I no longer had to live a lie. The truth was out there and I didn’t have to hide behind the story I’d been coerced into telling.

It didn’t take me long to get to work. Trace was already there, his boots sticking out from beneath the car he was working on.

I inhaled the scent of motor oil—something that had become familiar to me in the short time I had been working here.

“Can I ask you something?” My voice was hesitant as I stopped beside the car.

“Sure,” he slid out, scaring me half to death with how quickly he did it. “What’s up?” He grinned, running his fingers through his unruly hair. Trace was always so…unusually peppy. Did the guy ever get mad?

“
My mom died last night,” the words slipped from my mouth. That was
not
what I’d been planning to say.

“Oh, I’m sorry
,” he jumped up, his arms winding around me before I knew what he was doing. I couldn’t make myself hug him back, I was so in shock by the gesture.

“Don’t be sorry,” I muttered. “Seriously,” I stared at the ground, frowning.

“Oh…” He paused. “Was she…not a good mom?”

I laughed at his awkward question. “You could say that.”

“Do you need the day off?” He asked. “You could’ve called me. You didn’t need to come in.”

“I know,” I shrugged, still looking at the ground. “I wanted to come in though. Work will help take my mind off things,” I forced a smile. “I was wondering if I could leave early though? I need to find a place for us to live. I can’t stay in that house.”

Trace’s eyes filled with sympathy and compassion. “Of course,” he told me without any hesitation. “Wait…” He paused and for a moment I thought he had changed his mind and my stomach dipped with worry. “I might have a solution to your problem?”

“Really?” I was a bit afraid as to what his solution was. There was no way I was staying with his mom and grandma at the mansion or at Trent’s townhouse
. Even if he was away at school that would be beyond awkward.

“Follow me,” he stepped around me, striding out of the garage. He didn’t look back to see if I was coming, he knew I would.

He led me around the side of the building and up a set of steps to the floor above the shop. I didn’t know what was up here and never bothered to ask. He dug a key out of his pocket and opened the door.

He reached inside, flicking a light on, then reached out and grabbed my arm to yank me inside. I stumbled, and he tightened his hold so that I didn’t fall.

It was a small apartment. The kitchen was surprisingly nice and clean. I saw a bedroom and a bathroom to my right and the living room was straight ahead.

“You guys can stay here,” he beamed, his hands resting on his hips. “I know there’s only one bedroom, but for a temporary thing, it’ll work. I can get some bunk beds for your sister and Tristan, and they can go here,” he pointed
to the space where a dining table had probably once sat. “This is where I used to live,” he smiled, looking around the place with a fond look in his eyes. “I like it. Once Olivia got pregnant though, it wasn’t suitable for a newborn,” he shrugged.

“How much?” I asked.

“Huh?” His brows furrowed together. “What do you mean?”

“How much do you want to rent it out for?” I clarified.

He looked at me like I had lost my mind. “I don’t want anything.”

“Trace,” I groaned, knowing I was going to have to fight him on this, “I have to pay you something. I won’t feel right if I don’t.”

“Rowan,” he said my name slowly, staring me down with unwavering green eyes, “this place is sitting here empty and I’m not making any money off of it. You’re not paying me.”

“I have to pay you,” I whispered, crossing my arms over my chest. “I won’t feel right if I don’t. You already let me keep my job, and after
everything that’s happened with your brother, I won’t feel right if I don’t.”

He shook his head back and forth forcibly, like a child would. “Nope.”
He popped the ‘p’ as he rocked back on his heels.

“
Well,” I turned to leave, “I’ll find somewhere else.”

“Wait!” He reached out, grabbing my arm.
“Tristan is my nephew, please let me help.” His eyes pleaded with me to give in. “I want to know that you’re all safe. Not just him, but you and your sister too.”

When he put it that way
I didn’t see how I could say no. I’d been forced to keep Tristan from him and his family long enough. I didn’t need to do it anymore.

“Fine,” I relinquished. “But if you change your mind and want me to pay, just say so.”

“I won’t change my mind,” he winked, tossing his arm over my shoulders like we were old friends as we walked out the door. “Luca will be here any minute. I’ll leave him here, and we’ll get your things packed and moved in.”

“I already packed everything,” I admitted, shrugging off his arm as I descended the steps. “Most of it’s already in my car, I couldn’t fit everything, but there’s not a lot left.”

It was really quite sad how little the three of us had.

“Cool,” he rubbed his hands together. “W
e’ll get your car unloaded and you can go get the rest of your stuff.”

“Thank you,” I told him,
finally allowing myself to sigh in relief. I had a place to stay with the kids. We didn’t have to spend one more night in that house that haunted me. We could start over new.

“Y
ou don’t ever need to thank me,” he smiled, walking towards my parked car.

“Yes, I do, believe me,” I muttered under my breath. Trace didn’t understand how much his simple acts of kindness had meant to me. “It’s unlocked,” I told him, since he stood by my car waiting. I hadn’t bothered to lock the piece of junk when I arrived at work.

He opened the back door, grabbing one of the clear plastic bins I’d used to pack our stuff. I hadn’t had boxes and I’d gotten crafty.

“These are heavy,” he said, unnecessarily, seeing as how I’d loaded them in the car and knew what they weighed, “so let me carry them. It’s a long way to the apartment.”

He was right, but I hated being useless. As soon as his back was turned, I grabbed one.

I knew I wouldn’t make it up the steps without dropping it and spilling the contents, so I left it at the bottom of the steps. At least he wouldn’t have to walk as far with it. That counted for something.

I unloaded the rest and found Trace waiting for me, staring at the bins as he shook his head. “Didn’t I tell you not to help?” He eyed me, a smile playing on his lips—lips so similar to the ones I missed.

I forced a smile, tucking my hair behind my ears. “I’m not the type to sit back and not do anything. I have to help.”

“I’ve figured that out,” he laughed, wetting his lips. “I’ll get these brought inside, why don’t you head home and get the rest?”

“I can do it later,” I shoved my hands in my back pockets. “I need to work.”

He shook his head, his dark hair falling into his eyes. “Take today off. Get your stuff, come back, unpack, and get yourself settled. Make a home for my nephew,” he grinned.

How could I argue with that? The man knew how to guilt trip me.

I nodded. “I won’t be long.”

“Take your time,” he shrugged, tapping his fingers on the stair railing.
“We’ll be fine here.”

I didn’t reply. I was overwhelmed by Trace’s generosity, especially considering I’d kept Tristan a secret. Trace was an understand
ing guy, though. He didn’t hold grudges.

I wish
ed Trenton were the same way.

I didn’t expect, or deserve, forgiveness for what I had done. Still, I would’ve loved to hear from him, something…
anything
. Hell, I would have been happy with an angry phone call at this point. I wanted him to acknowledge my existence. Selfish, I know, considering what I had done. But love made you that way. Even if the other person hated you, you still wanted them.




I packed up the last of our things. Jim wasn’t home, and I had no idea where he was, nor did I care.
He was a piece of shit, and I was glad I could be rid of him and my mom. This was my chance at a clean slate. A new Rowan Sinclair was emerging.

I didn’t have to lie and deceive anymore—and that was a really good feeling.

I loaded the last of our things up and didn’t bother looking back at the house as I left. I was closing this chapter on my life, and starting a whole new one…I only hoped it got better.




“
This is our new home?” Tristan asked as I opened the door to the apartment. He clutched his stuffed dinosaur tightly in his hand, his eyes taking in the new space.

Ivy
looked around, much the same way, a Barbie doll dangling from her fingers.

After everything that had happened las
t night, I’d decided to indulge and taken them to Target to get a new toy and then out to dinner at a nice restaurant.

“Yep,” I turned on the light, “this is our new home.”

I gasped when I spotted the bunk bed. Trace hadn’t been kidding.

Tears pricked my eyes at his kindness. While I’d been gone, he’d bought a bed and put it together for the kids. Wow.
To say I was touched didn’t even cover the way I felt.

“Are
those for us?” Tristan’s eyes lit up when he spotted the bunk bed. He danced excitedly on the balls of his feet as he pointed at it.

“It sure is,” I smiled.

Tristan giggled, running for the bed. “I get the top!” He shrieked.

I knew Ivy would want the bottom bunk anyway
, since she was afraid of heights.

I set the groceries I’d picked up
on the counter and then began un-bagging them. I hadn’t gotten much, so it didn’t take me long to put everything away.

Once the food was
in its proper place I scoured the bins for the kids bedding. I finally found it—in the last bin I checked—and forced them to vacate the bed.

Tristan pouted, upset at being evicted from his new favorite place.

“Don’t you want your sheets on the bed?” I asked when he kept staring at me with mopey eyes as I made Ivy’s bed.

He nodded. “I guess so,” his fingers tightened around his stuffed green and orange dinosaur.

My breath caught for a moment as I looked at him. I so desperately wanted to tell him the truth—so why not tonight? What difference would waiting make? It wasn’t like the woman he believed was his mom had ever acted as such. I was scared to tell him though. He was a child, and they could be so incredibly fragile. I didn’t want to cause him pain. I had only ever wanted to protect him, which had led to the adoption in the first place. That had been a major screw-up, so I didn’t want the same thing to happen again. I felt that waiting until he was older would only bring more heartbreak. There had been enough lies, and I’d carried them for so long. I was ending this tonight.

The new Rowan Sinclair wasn’t going to keep quiet.