Tempting Rowan (Trace + Olivia #3) (3 page)

Once the short paper was written, I tucked it into the pages of the book and dropped the book beside my bed on the thin strip of floor that served as
the walking space in my room.

I reached over and turned the light off, bathing the room in darkness.

I lay in bed, unable to go to sleep even though I was exhausted.

I heard the front door slam closed and jumped.

My step-dad Jim was home.

I hated Ji
m with every fiber of my being, maybe even more than I hated my mom.

I listened to his heavy footsteps echo through the small house. When they started down the hall, I
closed my eyes for a moment to ground myself.

Turning on my side, I forced them open,
staring at the darkened shadow stopped outside my door.

I held my breath, counting in my head.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Jim smacked me around some, but nothing too bad. What I couldn’t handle was when his eyes roamed up and down my body like I was piece of meat he wanted
to devour. Even worse than that was when he touched me. Sometimes, when I was wearing a skirt, if I passed by him while he was sitting his hand would skim under the fabric and up my thigh. Other times his fingers would graze my butt or my breasts. He liked to play with my hair too. I’d thought about cutting it more than once, but my hair was the only thing I liked about myself and I refused to let him take that piece of me.

I held my breath, waiting for him to leave. When he finally did I was red in the face and black spots floated across my eyes.

I wondered how much longer he’d be satisfied with simple touches and standing outside my door.

I rolled onto my side, away from the door, and squished my eyes
shut.

Behind my lids, Trent’s image filled my mind. I couldn’t escape him no matter how hard I tried. He was
always
there.

Pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes I let out a groan. Why couldn’t he leave me alone? Didn’t he see that I was no good for him? I would never be able to love him when I couldn’t even love myself.

chapter two

I had the same dream that night that I’d had at least once a month since I was
sixteen.

The twigs snap
beneath my bare feet and my heart races in my chest as I try not to make a sound. It’s pointless though. My heavy breathing is bound to give my location away to the teachers. If they catch me sneaking over to the boys’ tents, they’ll send me home, and home is the last place I want to be right now. For one night I want to be a normal teenager. I don’t want to have take care of Ivy.

I
push all thoughts of my crappy home life away—for the night at least—and stop outside the tent I know is Trent’s.

I
swallow thickly, counting to ten.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

And then again.

I
know that behind the fibers of the tent Trent is waiting for me.

Wetting my lips with a flick of my tongue, I
reach out, grabbing the zipper between my thumb and index finger.

I slowly pull it up, easing the zipper open. I’m positive my heart is about to beat out of my chest. I count its beats, but not even the counting can calm me tonight.

When there’s a hole large enough for me to fit through, I slip inside.

A hand reaches out and grabs my arm. I shriek as I begin to fall but the hand holding my arm releases me and comes across my mouth to stifle the sound.

“Shhh, Row,” Trent whispers and the sound of his voice makes me shiver.

“Sorry,” I mouth when he moves his hand.

He eases his weight off me and closes the tent. “I didn’t think you would come,” he admits, biting his lips adorably. His teeth are slightly crooked and there is a space between the front ones, but I think it only makes him more handsome. I’d never been attracted to a guy before I laid eyes on Trenton. He turned my insides to mush, but more than that, he was my best friend. When I moved here earlier this year, I’d been so scared. I’d never been the new girl before and I was shy. Making friends had never been easy for me. But Trent had taken me under his wing. I’d questioned his motives at first. After all, why would a guy as gorgeous as Trent want to be my friend? I quickly learned though, he didn’t have any friends. He was a loner…an outcast like me…and we clicked. Since I transferred to this high school in November, we’d grown closer every day. Our friendship blossoming into more…he wasn’t my boyfriend…that was too simple of a word. He was my everything…my air…my gravity…he kept me centered. It was spring now, and with the blossoming of the first flowers, we’d decided to take our relationship to the next level.

His home wasn’t an op
tion for what we had planned and neither was mine. In fact, I’d only been to his house once, and he’d never been to mine. I didn’t want anyone to know what I had to deal with at home. Some things were better left in the dark.

“Row,” he flicks his finger against the end of my nose, “what are you thinking about?”

“You,” I whisper.

“Me?” He grins crookedly. “Good things, I hope.” His blue eyes sparkle when he talks.
I like that he’s always so animated. He’s not like other guys that try to hide their feelings. He’s real.

“Always,” I reach up, cupping his face in my hands. A light dusting of stubble covers his cheeks.

“Are you scared?” He asks.

“Yes,” I admit. I have no secrets with Trent.

“We don’t have to,” he assures me, pulling away.

“I know that,” I grab onto his blue sweatshirt, holding on tight. “I want to. I promise.”

He stares at me, unsure of if I’m lying or not.

“If you
want me to stop what I’m doing at any time,” he closes his eyes as if his words pain him, “tell me and I’ll stop, Row. I mean it. I don’t want to pressure you.”

“I want this,” I tell him, wondering how many times I’ll need to say it before he believes me.

He swallows thickly as a slow smile spreads across his face. Normally, the darkness would make it hard to see him, but his face is so close to mine that I see him perfectly.

“Here,” he reaches for a pillow and lifts my head up to place it beneath me. “Is that better?”

“I was fine before,” I giggle quietly from nervousness.

“I want this to be perfect for you, Row.”

“It will be perfect,” I grasp his arms, “because I’m with you. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.”

Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach up and undo the zipper on his jacket. His eyes close as his breath falters.

Once the jacket is unzipped, I push it off his wide shoulders. He’s left in a thin black t-shirt and my fingers greedily trace the lines of the tattoo on his arm. I’ve seen him without his shirt so I know that it starts at his shoulder and stops at his elbow. If you see it from a distance, it looks like an ocean scape, but up close you see that it’s really different shades of blue in a water color design so it looks like it’s dripping off his arm. I think it’s beautiful, just like him.

“Row,” his eyes open and his voice is shaky.

“Yeah?” I blink up at him.

“You’re beautiful,” he traces a finger over my rosy cheek.

I smile, knowing I’d been thinking the same thing about him.

I push my hands beneath the edge of his t-shirt and place my hands flat against his warm stomach. He’s muscular, but not overly so.

I ease my hands back out and grasp the fabric in my hands, pulling it over his head. His baseball cap falls off his head and we both laugh.

“I feel like you’re excited to get me naked,” he chuckles.

“Maybe,” I squirm at his gaze. I hate being stared at.

“I want to kiss you,” he warns, his mouth lowering.

“Then do it,” I challenge.

A
quiet moan escapes me when his soft lips touch mine. I’m positive that no other guy out there is as good of a kisser as Trent is. It’s just not possible. His tongue presses against my closed mouth and I open to let him plunge inside. My fingers pull at his hair, drawing him closer so his whole body is pressed against mine.

Warmth zings through my body at his touch and my hips
rise to meet his. I gasp in surprise at the feel of his large length pressed against me. I honestly don’t know why I’m so surprised. This is why I came here. So we could lose our virginity together.

“Trent,” I gasp his name. “I need…”

“What do you need, Row? Tell me. I’ll give you whatever you want,” he nips at my neck.

“You.”

“You have me, Row. You’ll always have me,” he promises and I know he means it.

I ease out of my t-shirt so I’m left in my bra and jeans.

“God, Rowan,” his eyes heat as he stares at my breasts. “Who knew you were hiding those under all those baggy superhero t-shirts?”

“I like those shirts,” I defend.

“I do too,” he winks, kissing me again. His tongue snakes inside my mouth, flicking against my own.

My heart is still racing in my chest, even faster than earlier if that’s possible. His large hand grasps my right breast and I gasp. I need more. I need him to make me feel alive. I need him to give me my freedom.

His hand moves over my stomach, stopping when he feels my belly button ring.

“You’re pierced?” His eyes are wide as he looks down at me.

“Why are you surprised? You have tattoos and gauges,” I comment.

“I don’t know,” he smiles crookedly. “I thought you were a good girl, Row.”

“I’m far from a good girl,” I admit.

“I like it,” he slides down my body, flicking it with his tongue. My back bows off the ground in response. His breath
is hot against my bare stomach and Goosebumps begin to coat my skin.

His fingers find the button on my jeans and he flicks
it open. With his eyes on mine, he eases the zipper down and pulls them off of me.

“God, you’re fucking amazing,” he eyes my long legs. “I want to be inside you so bad.”

“Then hurry up,” I whine.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he bites his lip.

“I’m a virgin,” I state. “It’s going to hurt.” God, boys could be so dumb.

“Still,” a wrinkle mars his brow. “I don’t want to cause you pain.”

“It can’t be avoided,” I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him flush against me. “I want this with you, Trent.”

He swallows thickly at my words. “Maybe this was a bad idea—”

“It’s not. This is the best idea we’ve ever had. You’re my best friend, Trenton. I want us to experience this first together.” I reach up, cupping his cheek in my hand and rubbing my thumb over his plump bottom lip. He playfully nips at my finger and I smile in response.

That seems to get through to him. “Together,” he repeats.

He kicks his jeans off and removes the rest of my clothes. I’m a bit embarrassed, being completely naked in front of him, but it doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.

He stares at me for one-hundred and sixteen seconds—I counted—before he finally removes his boxers and puts the condom on.

“Are you sure, Row?” He asks one last time, his jaw clenched and his arms stiff as he holds himself back.

“Positive.”

He eases slowly inside me. My eyes pinch close and I grit my teeth at the feeling of tightness and pulling below. It hurts…a lot…but I know I can’t make a sound for fear of the teachers discovering us. Plus, Trent would stop if he knew he was hurting me so badly.

“Almost there, Row,” he kisses me as he thrusts inside the rest of the way. I guess he knew he’d need to muffle my small cry.

He holds himself above me, not moving, giving me the chance to adjust to the foreign feeling.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

I’m holding my breath, so I can’t answer at first, but I nod slowly.

“Tell me when I can move.”

“Not yet,” I plead, my fingernails digging into his arms.

“Not yet,” he agrees, kissing me slowly to ease my anxiety.

My body begins to relax and pleasure replaces pain. My hips wiggle and he groans.

“Row,” he warns, his forehead pressed against mine.

“I’m ready. You can move.”

He swallows thickly. “Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop.”

I nod, biting my lip as he eases out a bit and then back in. It feels so good being connected to him like this. I never want it to end.

Sweat dampens our skin, making us stick together. I watch the muscles in his stomach clench as he thrusts in and out of me.

His breathing accelerates and I know he’s close. I am too, although, my mom always told me to never expect any pleasure my first time. She lies though. It’s the only thing she’s good at…well, she’s good at getting drunk too.

“Row,” he gasps, his thumb pressing against the throbbing nub. He rubs it in circles
and my muscles tighten.

“Trent. Trent. Trent.” I say his name over and over again. When I come apart, his mouth silences my cries. A moment later, he twitches inside me and I know it’s over.

I’m not a virgin anymore.

He presses kisses to my neck before falling to the side. He wraps his damp body around mine and I close my eyes, smiling. It feels so good to be held like this. He brushes my long hair
away from my neck. “I love you,” he breathes, pressing tender kisses to the skin behind my ear.

Those three words drench my body in ice
cold water. It’s a shock to my system and there’s only one thing I know to do.

Run.

I sit up, grabbing at anything that might be my clothes.

“Row?” He questions and I refuse to look at him. I can’t see his eyes right now. I won’t be able to leave if I look at him. “Row? What did I do?” He presses a hand against my bare skin. “
You don’t have to say it back, but I thought you should know.”

I don’t say anything as I put my clothes back on.

“Row, where are you going?” He asks when I begin to unzip the tent.

I pause. “I can’t stay the night here. The teachers will find me and we’ll get in trouble. I’ll see you in the morning.”

But we both know it’s a lie. From this moment on, I vow to do whatever it takes to erase myself from his life.

I sat up in bed, clutching at my chest as I struggled for air. My skin was damp with sweat and my hair stuck to my forehead. The dream—memory, I corrected myself—always did this to me. I wondered if there would ever be a time it didn’t affect me.

I pushed the covers off and drew my knees to my chest.

Why couldn’t I escape him?

Even when he was nowhere around, he still managed to weasel his way into my subconscious. Damn Wentworth.

I
started to count—it was the only thing that seemed to calm me.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

The back of my neck was sticky with sweat, like the rest of my body, and I lifted my hair up to cool myself.