Tempting Rowan (Trace + Olivia #3) (4 page)

I look
ed over at the clock and groaned. It was only five in the morning, but I was the kind of person that once I was awakened I couldn’t go back to sleep. I flicked the light on, blinking rapidly at the sudden brightness.

“Ugh,” I groaned, rubbing my temples. I felt a headache coming on and that was the last thing I needed.

I had a prescription for my headaches, so I pulled the bottle out of my bedside drawer, popping one of the pills onto my tongue. With the stale water I’d brought to bed with me I swallowed it down.

I placed my head in my hands, letting my long hair fall around me.

I was a mess. There was no other word to describe me.

I wanted to cry, but no tears came. It hurt too much to think about
Trent. Everything had been perfect until he said those three words and ruined it all. Why couldn’t he keep his big mouth shut?

I knew it was wrong to blame him. He didn’t understand that those words didn’t mean the same thing to me as they did
to everyone else. Anyone that had ever told me they loved me was being deceitful. My mom. My grandparents. Everyone.

It was all a lie.

No one loved me.

I was nothing but a burden.



I wanted to give Ivy and
Tristan a decent breakfast, but there was barely any food in the refrigerator or small pantry. I got my paycheck from the library today and I’d use it to buy some groceries—hopefully something I could use to make a decent meal out of.

“Sorry
, guys,” I frowned. “Looks like it’s toast with butter for breakfast.”

“I want Frosted Flakes!” Ivy cried.

“We don’t have any,” I sighed, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

“Fine,” she grumbled, “toast is fine.” She pouted for a moment, but it didn’t last long. Unfortunately, all three of us were accustomed to not having proper meals and often going hungry. It broke my heart that I couldn’t do more. But my paycheck wasn’t large, since I spent the
majority of my time at college trying to build a better life for us. No one knew, but my hope was to get a stable job, save enough money to buy a house and better car, then fight for custody of my siblings. I wouldn’t leave them in this hellhole.

I handed each of the kids a piece of toast with butter. They ate it like it was the most delicious thing to ever pass through their lips.

I checked that their backpacks had everything in them. When I was sure they weren’t missing anything, I set the bags on the table. “Ivy, you needed to brush your hair,” I said sternly.

She opened her mouth to argue but I pressed a finger against her lips. “No, Ivy.”

Rolling her eyes at me she stuffed the last of the toast in her mouth and sauntered out of the kitchen. I feared the teenage years with that one.

“Row, can you brush my teeth for me?”
Tristan asked, wiping his hands on a paper napkin.

“Sure,” I ruffled his hair.

Raising Ivy and Tristan had been a lot to take on, but they were worth it. I didn’t understand how anyone could abandon their kids the way my mom had. But alcohol would always be the most important thing to her.

After I helped
Tristan brush his teeth it was time to get them in the car and drive them to school. Since I was either in class or working I was never able to pick them up, but I felt it was important that I at least drive them there.

“Ooh! Ooh! Turn it up, Row! I love this song!” Ivy chanted, bouncing in the back seat.

I sighed and turned the volume up.
Royals
by Lorde began to play and I was tempted to plug my ears. They played that song all the time and it was annoying. Why did radio stations insist on playing the same song over and over again? I mean, really?

“And we’ll never be royals,”
Ivy sang along to the song. I had to agree with the lyrics though. I didn’t see how we’d ever be anything other than lower class, no matter how hard I might be trying to get to the top.

I pulled into the school’s parking lot
and circled around to the drop-off line.

“Have a good day!” I forced a cheerful tone as they got out of the car.

They said goodbye and then I was pulling away and driving across town to the university campus. It was nothing fancy, but it sufficed, and it was certainly expensive enough. I had the school loans to prove it. I was taking classes that might help me get into their nursing program. I was banking on getting accepted into it. If I didn’t—well, I’d rather not think about it.

I parked in my usual spot in the back of the parking lot. I liked the walk. It allowed me to clear my head.

“Hey!”

I turned and found myself smiling as
Jude jogged towards me. I didn’t know how we’d ended up friends, but somehow we clicked. He was tall with brown eyes and light stubble dotting his jaw. His straight brown hair fell messily over his forehead in a way that was effortlessly sexy. His long-sleeved green shirt hugged his muscular chest and jeans hung dangerously low on his hips. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to Jude, but what I felt for Trent was so much more—even if I insisted on denying it.

Jude
wrapped his muscular arms around my torso and spun me around.

“Put me down!” I shrieked, beating his solid chest with my mitten covered hands.

“I missed you, Row,” he grinned crookedly and planted a kiss on my cheek.

“You saw me yesterday,” I replied, running my fingers through my hair after he’d set me down.

“So? I still missed you,” he smirked, striding beside me.

“I didn’t miss you,” I looked up at him, fighting a smile.

“What?” He gasped, putting a hand to his chest. “How could you not miss me? Most women
wished
I missed them, and here you are wounding me for professing my feelings. Nice, Rowan. Real nice.”

“Oh please,” I laughed, adjusting the straps of my backpack as we crossed from the parking lot onto the sidewalk. “We both know you were banging some girls brains out last night.”

“True,” he winked. “Could’ve been you,” he chuckled.

I pretended to gag. “No thanks.”

“Are you a lesbian or something?” He joked. “I’ve never met a straight female that didn’t want to hop on this and take a ride,” he stopped walking and rolled his hips in a vulgar manner.

“Not a lesbian,” I shook my head, “just not into man whores.”

“Baby, for you I’d change my ways,” he threw an arm over my shoulder and hugged me against him. A girl passed us and glared at me. She had to be one of Jude’s many conquests.

“And ruin our wonderful friendship? I think not,” I removed his arm from my shoulders.

“That’s true,” he scratched his stubbled jaw. “I really value our friendship.”

“Sure you do,” I rolled my eyes, heading into the building.

“I do,” he assured me, his voice suddenly serious.

We headed into the same classroom and he sat down
in the seat beside me. It amazed me that Jude—womanizer, playboy,
Jude
—was studying to be a nurse. I’d think he’d be too selfish for that. But while I might joke about his slutty ways, Jude was a nice guy…to me at least. He was also caring and compassionate. Once, when we’d been working at a hospice, I’d seen him spend an hour just talking to one of the older ladies.

Jude
propped his legs on the empty chair in front of him, crossing his legs at the ankle. Our classrooms were auditorium style, which I hated because that meant that the table attached to my chair was less than adequate workspace.

“Professor
Hamilton is going to be pissed if he comes in here and sees your shoes on the seat,” I warned.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he shrugged, eyeing one of the girls in the classroom. When she caught his gaze he licked his lips suggestively.

I kicked the legs of his chair and he glared at me. “What the fuck, Rowan?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t control myself,” I shrugged innocently.
“I have muscle spasms.”

“Yeah, right,” he rolled his eyes and let his feet drop to the ground. “You disturbed my mojo.”

“Your mojo?” I raised a brow.

“Y
eah,” he grinned. “Are you jealous or something?”

“Hardly,” I propped my head on my hand, wishing the professor would hurry up and get here already, “I was trying not to throw up in my mouth.”

He leaned back in the chair, his eyes sparkling with barely contained laughter. “You amuse me.”

“Is that why you keep me around?” I replied. I was used to this banter with
Jude. It’s how our strange friendship worked.

“I keep you around because you’re hot and it makes other guys think I’m not checking out their girlfriends,” he said with a straight face and I knew he was being serious.

“Thanks, that makes me feel really good,” I shook my head, trying not to laugh.

“Aw, Row,” he brushed my long hair over my shoulder, “you know I love you.”

“I know,” I smiled at him.

“Good,”
he leaned forward, drumming his fingers on the table. Jude was the kind of person that couldn’t sit still to save himself. Sometimes that really irritated me since I was a quiet person by nature. I honestly didn’t understand how we’d become friends. We’d met our freshman year at the university. He’d sat down beside me, flirting shamelessly, and I—of course—shut down his advances. From that moment on, he became my only other friend besides Tatum. “We should go out tonight,” he suggested. I glared, so he added, “As friends of course.”

“I can’t. I’m working, you know that,” I sighed.

“You’re always working,” he grumbled, “when do you have time to just…chill?”

“Never,” I answered without hesitation.

“That fucking sucks,” he rubbed his hands over his face and stifled a yawn.

“It’s called life.”

“You deserve a break, everyone does,” he commented.

“I don’t have time for breaks,” I shrugged
, pulling a pencil out of my backpack and a notebook. “It is what it is.”

He opened his mouth to argue but the professor finally decided to make an appearance—ten minutes late I might add.

I turned away from Jude and set about taking notes.




I was running late and I
hated
being late, but I had gotten stuck in traffic thanks to a train passing through town.

I ran into the library bathroom and locked myself in the wheelchair accessible stall. I changed out of the clothes I’d worn to class and into my work clothes, stuffing my jeans and sweater into my backpack so I could change into them again after my shift ended.

I opened the stall door, washed my hands, and jogged down the hall to the backroom where we stored our stuff.

I ran back up to the front—winded at this point—and stopped in front of Mary, the head librarian.
She was an older lady, in her sixties, with short gray hair. She was one of the kindest people I knew, but I hated to disappoint her by being late, especially since she was the one who had hired me.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” I gasped.

She looked at me for a moment and her eyes flicked over to the clock on the desk. “You’re two minutes late,” she stated.

“I know, and I’m really—”

“Shush, child,” she lowered her reading glasses, “I hardly constitute this as
late
, besides, you’re usually early. Don’t worry about it.”

“But—”

She raised a brow and the look in her eyes silenced me. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Rowan. Now quit wasting my time with your apologies and put those books back on the shelves,” she pointed to a cart full of books.

“I’m on it,” I assured her, taking the cart and grabbing the first book.

“And Rowan?” She called before I was out of earshot.

“Yeah?” I turned to look at her.

“If you’re late again, don’t apologize. Just get to work,” she smiled kindly.

“Sure thing.”

I started the mindless job of replacing the books on the shelves. I loved being surrounded by books. They were the only thing in my life that always managed to make me happy. Reading allowed me to escape from my shitty life, even if it was only for a few hours. It was nice to…disappear for a while.

Before I knew it, the cart was empty. I rolled it back and there was another waiting for me.

By the time I finished the library was closed.

“Are yo
u staying to study?” Mary asked, handing me the envelope with my check in it.

Technically
I wasn’t allowed to stay after hours, but Mary trusted me and didn’t mind.

“No,” I shook my head, frowning. I
really
needed to study and get my homework done since I had trouble doing it at home, but I needed to stop by the grocery store and get some food. I knew my mom wouldn’t have bothered to make Tristan and Ivy anything to eat—even if she tried there wasn’t any food in the house. “I have to go to the store.”