Tender Nurse (18 page)

“Good. She can have another pillow now, Sister, and I don’t think a ‘special’ is necessary any longer.”

“Very good, Dr. Howard.”

After another word or two with Andrea, he turned again to Sister. “By the way, Sister,” he said casually, “Mr. Graham would like to speak to Nurse Grey. He wants a word or two with her about the young man who was driving the car.” He began to walk toward the door, deliberately not looking at Andrea, but she knew that that was his way of telling her that soon she was to see Martin at last. It seemed a very long time ago since that evening up on Beacon Hill. Things had happened since then. She shuddered. Her mind was clearer now and she remembered with pain that she had still not told Godfrey that there was someone else in her life. Now, Godfrey lay injured — badly injured. Perhaps it was good that she hadn’t told him. He was already suffering enough. She moved restlessly on her pillow. If only things had not happened like this. She hated the thought of Godfrey lying there suffering and she did not want to add to that by causing him any mental upset. She would have to wait until he was better before telling him. She had wanted so much to put the thing behind her, to be free from ties wrought by habit to turn to Martin.

Presently, her heart gave a great bound as she heard Martin’s voice in the corridor.

“May I speak to Nurse Grey, Sister?”

“Certainly, Mr. Graham.”

He spoke again in a low voice, then, for the sake of etiquette, they entered together. At the door Martin turned. “Thank you, Sister — I shall only be a few minutes.” Sister left them and Martin drew up a chair to the bedside. Immediately he covered her hands with his. “Oh, Andrea, my darling, if I could have spared you this.”

“Martin,” she breathed. “Martin, how wonderful to see you again.”

“I love you,” he said simply, his eyes roving over her face.

“Martin——”

He longed to bend and kiss her. Instead, he merely asked: “How are you feeling, darling?” and sat back in his chair. “I’ve been well nigh crazy with worry.”

“I’m feeling almost normal,” she assured him, her eyes resting on him lovingly. Then she said: “Martin— I’m very worried about Godfrey.”

“Yes, I guessed you would be.” He looked at her in silence then said: “He’s in a pretty bad state, Andrea.” She frowned worriedly. “That’s what everybody keeps telling me. I’m relying on you, Martin, to tell me the whole truth. He——” her face showed signs of distress. “He’s not — dying, Martin, is he?”

He leaned forward quickly. “Why, darling, of course not. You mustn’t distress yourself.”

“Then tell me.”

“I will, but you must promise not to upset yourself. I doubt now whether you should be told yet, but I suppose worrying will be worse.” A heavy frown settled on his face. “I’d give anything to have spared you this, darling, but you must know some time. Godfrey has severe injuries to his spine. His legs are affected.”

Her eyes widened. “You mean — his legs are — are paralyzed?”

“Yes.”

A dawning of the truth came upon her and her eyes filled with tears. “You fear it may be — permanent?” she whispered.

He nodded.

“Martin — oh, Martin — how awful!” She gave a sob and turned her head into the pillow.

“Andrea, don’t.” He grasped her hand.

The pressure of his fingers was comforting. “Martin, that would be terrible — terrible.”

“I know — I know.”

She raised stricken, tormented eyes as another realization began to form in her mind.

“I didn’t tell him, Martin, I didn’t tell him. I was going to — just before we said goodnight — but he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know — and I can’t tell him now, I can’t!”

His own face mirrored her suffering. “My dear, I know how you feel. But don’t make any decisions yet——”

She shook her head. “It isn’t any use postponing it, Martin. If Godfrey is going to be a cripple for life, I just can’t let him down.”

He gazed at her dully. “No darling, you can’t. But we must hope — for all our sakes. For Godfrey’s most of all. I will do what I can for him, you can be assured of that.” He got up. “I must go now, darling, I’m afraid, but promise me you’ll try not to worry.”

“I’ll try,” she whispered huskily.

After Martin’s visit, George gave instructions to Sister that Andrea should have as many visitors as possible, so long as there were no more than two or three at a time. She must not be too much alone.

She was pale and strained when Virginia came that evening. Quickly Virginia took her hands. “Andrea — I’m sorry, so terribly sorry,” she said in a low voice. “I believe Martin told you this morning.”

“Yes.”

Virginia looked at her white face and red-rimmed eyes, now dull with pain and hopelessness.

“Andrea — you must get well — get up and about again as soon as you possibly can. Don’t lie here worrying and brooding.”

“Has Godfrey asked about me yet?”

Virginia swallowed hard. “Yes — this afternoon. He — he was so relieved when he knew you were all right. He scarcely gave a thought to himself.”

“Has he any pain?”

Virginia shook her head. “Very little. He — can’t feel his legs — at all.”

Andrea wrenched a hand from Virginia’s grasp to cover her eyes. “Don’t, Virginia, don’t. It doesn’t bear thinking about,” she cried brokenly.

Virginia compressed her lips in an effort for control. “We’ve got to face it, Andrea.”

“Face it! That’s what I’ve been trying to do all day!” she cried. “It’s easy for you to face it — it doesn’t mean so much to you——”

“It certainly doesn’t mean quite the same to me as it does to you,” Virginia said quietly.

Andrea gazed at her for a minute, then brought her hand down on to the bed in a helpless gesture. Would she ever fully comprehend Virginia?

Virginia said: “I take it you didn’t get around to telling Godfrey about Martin?”

“No.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What do you expect me to do, Virginia?” she asked quietly.

“I——” Virginia looked at her and pressed her hand.

“I’m sorry, Andrea. You won’t let him down, I know.” “Thank you for that, at least.”

“Forgive me. I’m not quite myself. Everything has been rather a strain.”

“I know. Much as Martin and I love each other, we still have a sense of what’s right. As long as Godfrey remains helpless, I shall stick by him. I couldn’t possibly tell him now.” Though her eyes were bright and her cheeks drawn, Andrea’s voice was quiet and determined.

“Suppose he offers you your freedom? He might even insist on it,” Virginia said.

“Does he know that there is a possibility of not walking again?”

“Of course not.”

“Then as long as he doesn’t know, the only reason he would offer me my ‘freedom’ would be because he no longer loved me. And only if he told me that would I agree.”

In the days that followed, Andrea’s name was continually on Godfrey’s lips. Day after day, Virginia answered his questions about her and listened to his constant talk of her. He was as much in love with her as ever.

“Will she be able to come and see me soon, Virginia?” he asked, not for the first time.

“Quite soon, I should think. She’s to get up for a while tomorrow, Rita tells me.”

“Oh, I am glad she’s doing so well. If she had been really seriously hurt I should never have forgiven myself.”

‘It wasn’t your fault, Godfrey. No matter what you say about your steering gear, George says you couldn’t have done a thing about it. Nobody could with all that oil spilled on the road, not even with the most superefficient car.”

He looked at her gratefully. “You’re a great comfort to me, Virginia. No wonder Andrea is so fond of you.”

“Is she?”

“She certainly is. And I’m lucky to have you to nurse me.”

She gave a slight smile. “You’d rather have had your Andrea though, wouldn’t you?”

He grew serious. “It would have been wonderful to see her every day under different circumstancs but——” he frowned. “I wouldn’t want her to see me so helpless and do the things for me that you do. Virginia — how long am I going to be like this, do you suppose?”

“I — we don’t know yet, Godfrey, and don’t start worrying about it, my dear, will you?”

ANDREA was given a week’s sick leave. After a couple of days had elapsed, Martin called to see her at her flat. For a moment they clung to each other, then leading him to a large armchair, she told him what had occurred when she had visited Godfrey.

“Martin, I couldn’t help it — I couldn’t! I had to say yes.’ Oh, Martin, I’m so unhappy.”

He smoothed her dark hair. “Darling — don’t upset yourself. Things are bound to come out right for us. They must.”

“It’s no use, Martin,” she whispered huskily. “I’ve promised now. I can’t go back on my word. And I can’t see Godfrey ever changing his mind of his own free will. I shan’t even feel right about seeing you — and oh, Martin I love you so.”

“I know, darling, and I love you more than I can ever tell you. But, precious, don’t let’s get things out of proportion. We must see each other occasionally. We must keep on hoping too, even if there doesn’t seem to be any hope.”

She stared ahead unseeingly. “Hope? For Godfrey or for us?” she asked dully.

“On all accounts,” he said firmly. “We must get Godfrey better, we must, even though at the moment there seems very little hope of him ever walking again. You can help him a lot, and ironical as it may seem, your promise to marry him may give him just the faith and hope that he needs.”

She focused her eyes upon him unhappily. “False hope, surely, if at the end of it, I tell him I don’t love him?”

“Darling, don’t look too far into the future. Who knows what may happen? And now cheer up. I’m not going to have you brooding and making yourself unhappy.” He gently tweaked her nose. “You’re a terror for wanting everything cut and dried, aren’t you?”