Tender Nurse (20 page)

“How can you say that?” she asked in surprise. “You don’t see him nearly as much as I do—or listen to him talk.”

He smoothed her hair. “I know I don’t, but what I do know is, he seems perfectly happy. As happy, that is, as a man on his back with no use in his legs can be—happier than most, and a good deal happier than many a man with a lot less to worry about. I think if he was beginning to realize that you loved someone else, he wouldn’t be very happy about it. It would affect his attitude toward his condition too. Actually, he seems to me to be in particularly good form lately, and I’ve been glad to see it. No, darling, it must be your imagination.”

Andrea was silent. Martin was right. Godfrey had been in particularly good spirits lately, And yet——

Martin watched her face. “Still not convinced?” He put his hand under her chin. “Darling, forget Godfrey for a little while. Give me a little of your love.”

GODFREY watched Virginia thoughtfully as she moved about the small ward setting things right. Her face was serene and composed, her movements quick and unhurried. She gave a swift look round, then left the room, returning a few minutes later with a vase of fresh water and some flowers which she proceeded to arrange at the bed-side. She arranged them there rather than outside so that he should have as much company as possible without waste of precious time on her part. Usually, as she arranged them, she talked, telling him of the latest film she had seen, or the television show she had watched in the Nurses’ Common room. This morning, however, she was rather quiet.

He looked at her face, his clear brown eyes softening and a somewhat whimsical expression appearing round his mouth. “The night nurse tells me that Dr. Howard is leaving.”

She placed a bronze chrysanthemum among the yellow ones and stepped back to see the effect before replying. “Yes, that’s right. He has an important appointment in a large chest hospital in London. He’s going to specialize in heart cases.”

“Virginia, either you’re adept at hiding your feelings or else you have none to hide.”

She paused to look at him in surprise. “What do you mean by that, Godfrey?”

“I thought he was a particular friend of yours.”

“He is.” She smiled slightly and seemed to be waiting for his next remark.

He gave a sound of exasperation. “Really, Virginia, there are times when you resemble the Mona Lisa herself. What I meant was — aren’t you sorry he’s going?”

“Of course.”

Checkmated again, he thought. Aloud he said: “You don’t sound very sorry, nor look it.”

“Don’t I?”

“No, you don’t!” he said emphatically.

She looked at him quizzically. “What are you trying to get at, eh? It’s no surprise to me, you know, that George is leaving. It’s been cooking up for a long time. I shall miss him, but——” She shrugged her shoulders. “So will someone else.”

“Whom?”

“Nurse Wainwright. She used to be quite keen on Martin Graham, now she seems to have fallen seriously for George.”

“And you don’t mind?”

She laughed. “So that’s what you’ve been fishing for? George and I have never been anything more than good friends.”

“Isn’t there—anyone in your life, Virginia?’’

“Yes.”

He started and looked at her enquiringly.

She smiled. “Don’t ask me to tell you whom. That is a secret. I’m free and unattached—the man I love is in love with someone else, but I’m not making a tragedy out of it—yet. Now don’t ask me any more questions. Here comes the physiotherapist, anyway.”

Virginia went on her way to the Nurses’ Home for coffee. The ache in her heart had been there for so long, she had almost grown used to it—almost. She had become so accustomed to hiding it—covering it up, she sometimes told herself that it had healed. But deep in her heart, she knew that it was a false healing. Some day it would break down—but there would be none to see.

As she crossed the cobbled yard, Rita Wainwright fell into step beside her.

“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question, Slater?” “No, what is it?”

“It—it’s about Dr. Howard—George. He came to say goodbye a short while ago. He’s going to write and wants to see me again. What I wanted to ask you was—am I breaking anything up between you two? I know I’ve been something of a glamour-puss, but I wouldn’t like to do anything like that.”

Virginia smiled. How many more times was she going to disclaim any ownership of George? “No, Rita, you’re not breaking anything up. But thanks for mentioning it. George and I have been good friends, but there’s never been anything serious between us.”

Rita breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, that’s all right then.”

They saw Andrea in the distance and put up a hand.

“Andrea looks ghastly this morning, doesn’t she?” Rita commented. “I expect she’s worrying about Godfrey.”

“Yes,” Virginia answered absently. Andrea was pale, yes. Her eyes had dark rings under them as though she had been crying.

Martin thought so too, and looked at her anxiously during the morning’s work. When she went to the theatre kitchen to make coffee, he made it his business to follow her.

“Andrea, my dear, what on earth is the matter? You look almost ill.”

She shrugged her shoulders listlessly and went on laying out the cups without speaking. He looked at her keenly, then as she began to move in the direction of the cupboard again, he took a swift step towards her and grasped her by the shoulders. He turned her round to face him and lifted her chin.

“Darling, what it is? You’seemed quite happy yesterday —and when I said goodnight to you.”

She looked at him dully. “I was happy yesterday— too happy, and it was a fool’s paradise. I was so happy that the thought of life without you was like contemplating an eternity of emptiness. I just couldn’t bear it.”

She was near to tears, but did not want to give way to weeping. She tried to shake off his hands from her shoulders and move away, but he held her fast.

“Darling, this won’t do, you know. You simply must not think like that. No power on earth is going to separate us or keep us apart.”

Her lips quivered. “Oh, Martin, it’s no use! How can you say that when Godfrey is lying there clinging to the hope that one day I shall marry him?” Then with a sudden sob, she clung to him. “Martin—oh, Martin!”

He held her close to his heart. Surely something must happen soon to put an end to this misery. “Darling, don’t,” he said soothingly, stroking her forehead.

“What on earth is going on here ? Really, Mr. Graham!”

Julia Fisher stood framed in the doorway, a look of astonishment and extreme annoyance on her face.

Andrea made a tremendous effort to stem her sobbing and break away from Martin’s grasp. Martin, however, made no effort to relinquish his hold on her.

“Nurse Grey is a little upset about a private matter, Sister. She’ll be all right in a moment.”

“Upset about a private matter? I fail to see why you should be so concerned, Mr. Graham, Be good enough to take your arm away from her. Nurse Grey, compose yourself and see to the coffee immediately. Then return to the theatre. This kind of behavior is disgraceful. I shall speak to Matron.”

Martin’s eyes blazed. “Sister Fisher—I myself will speak to Matron—you can spare yourself the trouble. In future I intend to have some voice in the choosing of the theatre staff. And in the meantime, I will thank you to treat Nurse Grey with a little more consideration. I have had quite enough of this senseless persecution of the staff and the tense atmosphere that pervades in the theatre. I shall speak to Matron without delay.”

Andrea stood aghast. She had never heard him speak so angrily before. Julia’s face went a dull red, then changed to chalk white. She turned and left the room.

Andrea lifted a pale face to Martin. He smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, darling. She’s had that coming to her for a long time. I only hope she will hand in her resignation. I see no reason why Nurse Craig should not be promoted to Theatre Sister. She has been in theatre long enough—almost as long as Sister has. Now promise me, Andrea, you won’t worry any more. I can’t bear to see you unhappy. Promise.”

She gave him a weak smile. “I promise, Martin—and I’m sorry.”

“Never mind about being sorry. Just remember that I love you. And let this sink into that darling head of yours. All is not quite lost. There’s plenty of time yet for Godfrey to get back the use of his legs. And when that happens, there’ll be no argument about whom you’re going to marry.”

She was off duty in the afternoon, and in spite of Martin’s words, she had to force herself to concentrate on her studies. It was late evening when she called to see Godfrey.

“Hello, Andrea,” he said. “Did you enjoy yourself yesterday?”

She pulled up a chair and sat down. Oh, please God, he doesn’t ask too many questions about yesterday. “Yes, thank you,” she told him guardedly.

“Good,” he said cheerfully. “What did you do?”

“First I had a good sleep in.”

“Just as the doctor ordered, eh?”

“That’s right.”

“And where did you go afterwards?”

Uncomfortably, she told him. He listened with interest. Andrea finished speaking, then held her breath as she waited for his next question. “Did you go alone?” But he didn’t ask it. Afterwards, she wondered why. He looked at her in silence for a moment, then he said quietly:

“Andrea—I want to release you from your promise to marry me.”

She gave him a startled look. “Godfrey!”

“I should never have asked you. I know that now. I’ve had time to think lying here, and it’s no go, Andrea. I can’t let you go on with it.”

“Why are you saying this, Godfrey?” she asked quietly.

“Need you ask, my dear? What guarantee is there that I shall ever get back the use of my legs. Dr. Graham is doing his best, but there isn’t the slightest sign, so far. No, Andrea, I can’t have it. If I’d realized how serious the accident really was, I wouldn’t have asked you.”

“I don’t suppose you would—but you did. I knew what the position was when I accepted you. I’m not letting you release me, Godfrey. I wouldn’t dream of it.” His eyes closed for a moment. Andrea looked at him wonderingly. He opened his eyes and met her gaze. “Andrea,” he said in a strained voice. “I don’t want you marrying me out of pity!”

Tears started unaccountably into her eyes. She sprang to her feet. “How can you talk that way? I won’t stay and listen to you.”

She hurried from the room. Why did he have to begin that kind of talk now? Was he giving up hope of getting better, or merely thinking of her? Feeling drained and weary, she went to her room and listlessly got undressed and into bed. She was about to put out the light when a knock came at her door and Virginia came in with a tray of tea and some sandwiches.

“I thought you might be hungry and glad of a drink seeing you weren’t in to supper,” she said. “I expect you called to see Godfrey.”

“Yes.”

Andrea took the cup Virginia offered her. The tea tasted good and she felt a little of the weariness begin to drop away.

Virginia looked at her anxiously. “Is anything the matter, Andrea, or would you rather not talk?”

“This is a lovely cup of tea, Virginia. It was so good of you to think of it.” There was a short silence, then she said. “I don’t know whether I want to talk or not, but I’m glad of your company. This is almost like old times. We don’t seem to have had a good old ‘natter’ for ages. Briefly—I’m finding things a bit difficult. Yesterday I went out with Martin for the day. It was wonderful—no words can describe it. The reaction set in when I got back and realized that there was no future for us together. I must have looked pretty peaky in theatre this morning. Martin got worried and Sister came in just as I was having a weep on his shoulder. There was a great row. I’ve never seen Martin so angry. Then to crown everything, Godfrey talked about ‘releasing me from my promise to marry him.’ I feel as though I’ve no tears or feelings or emotions left,” she finished in a toneless voice.