Tested by the Night (8 page)

Pierced shrugged. “Whatever. No harm in asking. When ya are single like I am now, ya never know when or where ya’re going ta get lucky.” He grabbed an apple out of a bowl sitting on a small side table, took a bite, and headed back into his room. “I’ll take my chili in my room, Ma. I’m just ta distraught ta be good company tonight.”

Talon didn’t want to stay for dinner, especially if it meant stripping to his bare ass, and he certainly didn’t want to go traipsing through the weird gnome household, looking for a dragon he hadn’t asked for in the first place. He wanted to go back to Mia’s suite of rooms, go to sleep, and not wake up until this silly challenge she had her heart set on was over and done with.

Better yet, he wanted to go back to the way things were before his best friend married the daughter of the leader of the Paladins of Albrath. Back to a time when his biggest responsibility had been watching Zander’s back and tupping whichever pretty little serving wench he could entice into his room.

“Well, what the torn off toenails of a slow dancing, debonair troll transvestite doing the hoochy coo with a tap-dancing ogress in green leotards are ya waiting for. Let’s eat.” Leeky turned toward his daughter, Lavender. “Go tell ya cousin, Ohfeelya, supper’s ready.”

Something brushed against Talon’s shin, and he glanced down. There stood Pearl, the dragling. Where she’d been, what she’d been up to, or where she’d come from, he had no clue, and really didn’t want to know. He simply sighed, shook his head, bent down, picked her up, and followed Leeky, Laycee, and Mia, into the dining room.

Leeky suddenly stopped right in front of them and whirled around. It was all Talon could manage to do not to run Mia over. The crotchety little gnome scrunched up his face and tapped his chin twice before speaking. “About Ohfeelya. She’s a sensitive little thing, so be careful what ya say around her. She’s the love child of Laycee’s favorite second cousin Giddy, from the Upz side of the family, and she’ll be staying with us for the duration of the semester. She has self-esteem issues. She’s a tad, let’s say, bigger boned than most gnomes. But there’s not a kinder, gentler soul in all of Albrath than our very own Ohfeelya Upz.”

Talon couldn’t care less what the gnome cousin looked like. He was glad that it appeared the Shortz family had forgotten about his unwillingness to get naked.

****

Mia stared down at her bowl of chili. She didn’t want to appear to be unfriendly or a glutton, but it really was the only safe place to look. If she glanced to her right, she’d be face to face with Pierced, who’d decided he’d eat with the family after all. Every time she even glanced in his direction, the little gnome would do something even more outrageous. Already he’d winked at her, blown her kisses, and tried to play footsie under the table. Then, the very next time she made the mistake of glancing in his direction the gay-Goth gnome had licked his eyebrows and wiggled them at her.

She giggled. Though no real relation, the Shortz’s family was part of her own and always had been. She’d been raised around these people all her life, and their antics never failed to entertain.

She shook her head and looked to her left. There sat her teenaged pseudo cousin Lavender. She could swear, the teen gnome sighed with every other breath, and when she wasn’t sighing, she was batting her eye lashes at Talon. It was so frequent, Mia almost worried Lavender had a real medical problem that might need attending to. Something other than her overactive hormone surges.

She had even tried looking across the table where Talon sat, but even that was a mistake. For sitting right beside Talon sat Miss Ohfeelya Upz.

She cringed.

Big boned? That’s not how Mia would’ve described poor Ohfeelya, but then she also wouldn’t have described her as any kind of gnome she’d ever seen before either. Though just a tad taller than most female humans, probably five foot eight or ten, Ohfeelya was so wide, she easily took up the space of two full grown people of almost any race. Her blonde hair, all ten or fifteen strands of it anyway, was fashioned into some kind of braid-looking thing on the very top of her head. She had a big hairy mole sticking out the side of her bulbous nose, and the skin of her neck was pasty white and hung in…folds. Her jowls were full and round, her big blue eyes bulging, and her poochy red lips smacking noisily around a pair of prominent canines with every bite of chili she took.

In other words, Ohfeelya Upz was not a cute little gnome at all. She was a full-blown ogre if Mia had ever seen one. And not just an ogre, but an ogre wearing nothing at all but a neon yellow bra, almost as big as a tent, and pair of matching granny panties.

Mia took a deep breath and cleared her throat. “Wonderful chili as usual, Aunt Laycee. One of these days you’re going to have to give me the recipe.”

Laycee Shortz chuckled. “I’ll give the recipe ta ya castle cook. Princesses, and future queens, don’t waste their time in the kitchen like us common folk. They have much more important duties ta attend ta.”

“Oh, cousin, Mia,” Lavender piped up. “We really are so very proud of ya.” The little gnome sighed again. “Just think, taking on Queen Adrina’s Challenge. How exciting. If anyone can do it, I know ya can.”

Mia was about to thank her aunt and young cousin, when Leeky suddenly spoke. “What the green, slimy, snot wad sliding in and out of the left nose hole of a halfling horticulturist with a bad case of post nasal drip are ya two talking about. Don’t be encouraging the lass. There’s no way in VoT she can accomplish the challenge. All she’s gonna do is get herself and anybody fool enough ta help her killed.”

He faced Mia. “As ya well know, since I was immortal back then, I was there when Adrina took up her challenge. I’ll never forget it. She was one amazing, if not scary, barbarian chit, I tell ya.” He glanced toward Talon. “But she was as big, if not bigger, than ya bodyguard there. Not some delicate little princess like ya are. And she’d just as soon cut off ya head and spit down the hole as look at ya. Mean, that’s what Adrina was.

“Ya, on the other hand…” He shook a finger at her. “I love ya, God Draka knows I do, but ya aren’t much bigger than a healthy shit, Mia, and ya couldn’t hurt a mosquito even if it was sucking ya dry of ya last drop of blood. I don’t know what ya da was thinking letting ya even consider such a thing. Forget this nonsense. Take the easy way out and be a good lass. Choose a big, strapping lad ta rule in ya place.”

****

Mia stared up into the near total darkness of her sleeping chamber at the ceiling above her bed and sighed. Only a sliver of soft light from the second moon of Albrath reflecting through the floor-to-ceiling windows offered any respite from the gloom she was feeling.

Was Uncle Leeky, her parents, Talon, and basically the rest of the population of Albrath right while she was so dead wrong? Should she give up the idea of taking on Queen Adrina’s Challenge and simply chose a man to rule in her place? It certainly would be easier and not one single soul would blame her. Except she’d blame herself, of course.

A shudder racked her. Was it ever the right decision to foist off responsibilities onto another simply because he’d be a man and it would make her own life simpler? And was it ever right, no matter the consequences, to put her own needs above the safety and wellbeing of her people?

What if whomever she chose turned out to be a scoundrel? Once made, the decision could never be undone. How could she be sure she’d choose the right mate? What if she were wrong? If the past was any indication, her choices in men had been extremely bad, to say the least. But then again, there must have been some reason God Draka chose to put her in the family he had. Gods didn’t just do things on a whim. She wished she could somehow know what God Draka’s reasons were, though.

She sighed again and glanced at Talon sleeping so peacefully right beside her. In her heart, Mia knew he’d follow her wherever she went and do whatever she bid him to do, even at the risk of his own life. After all, it was his sworn duty, and if Talon was nothing else, he was a man of honor. Her brother, Zander, surrounded himself with no less.

The scent of Talon filled the air, and her pussy hummed to life with awareness. She knew also, that even though he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, if she woke him this very moment and asked him to fuck her, he would.

She put the thought away and forced the throbbing between her thighs to quiet. She wanted more, much more from Talon than simple creature comforts. In truth, she wanted more than she was willing to ask for from every soul on Albrath who knew her. She wanted them all to believe in her, to back her. But how was she ever going to convince not only Talon, but her parents, Uncle Leeky, and the rest of Albrath her cause was just? That she could do this challenge if given the chance?

What no one seemed to understand was she was a whole lot tougher on the inside than she appeared to be on the outside and always had been. And not simply tough, but as resilient and stubborn and determined, and brave as any barbarian female born before her, even Queen Adrina herself.

Mia knew in her heart what she didn’t have in brawn, she’d more than make up for with her brain. Other than her poor choices in men, she really was quite smart, and her people deserved no less than her very best effort. And she deserved the chance to prove she could be their leader. At least, she had to give it a try.

Something suddenly brushed up against her leg. Mia gasped and quickly jerked her foot away. Glancing down at the end of the bed, she spied Pearl, the snow-white dragling, sleeping contently on top of the furs between her and Talon. She chuckled. So much for being the big, brave barbarian type. She sighed yet again. Perhaps she wasn’t big and perhaps she wasn’t so very brave after all, but she was determined.

She took two really deep breaths and commanded herself to fall asleep. Morning would come soon enough, and with it, perhaps the start of her quest. And if nothing else the start of her classes. She didn’t wish to face either exhausted.

Sleep wouldn’t come, however. She tossed and turned a couple of times, fluffed her pillow, punched it for good measure, and scrunched her eyes tightly closed. She could hear the sound of Talon’s breathing. She could remember the feel of being held in his arms. She could smell and taste the essence of the man upon the tip of her tongue, and her mouth watered with the urge to savor him once more.

She shivered as his heady scent of moonlight, musk, and sandalwood filled the room to the point the throbbing between her thighs ignored her previous orders and became a steady staccato deep within her pussy. And her heart did a double take as it realized she was in trouble. She probably already liked Talon Starkweather more than she should. Though she wasn’t in love with the big stubborn barbarian—yet—she was well on her way. The thought disturbed her.

She opened her eyes and starred at the dragling who was now scowling right back at her. “What? It’s not my fault I can’t sleep. Blame it on your master. If he didn’t smell so VoT good, and if he didn’t kiss and touch and fuck so very, very exceptionally well, I’d have been sound asleep long ago.”

As a response, Pearl glared, burped, and farted.

“Gross.” Mia covered her head with the fur.

The other side of the bed moved, and then she heard Talon chuckle.

She punched at him. “It’s not funny, and it’s your fault. You’re the one who allowed her to eat two whole bowls of Aunt Laycee’s toxic chili.”

This time he laughed out loud. “And whose idea was it to go to the Shortz household for dinner in the first place?”

She giggled. “You do have a small point, I suppose.”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close. “Do you really wish to further discuss whose fault it is the dragon stinks, or would you rather I toss her out of the room and kiss and touch and fuck you until we both pass out from exhaustion? That is, considering I do all of those things so very exceptionally well and smelling VoT good while I’m at it?”

She punched him again.

Pearl growled.

Talon jumped from the bed and scooped the dragling up into his arms. “I don’t care if you’re jealous, and no, you may not bite her, and oh, VoT no, you’re not going to watch.” He opened the door and set her gently on the floor. “Stay.” He shook a finger at the dragling. “I’ll let you back in when we’re done. I promise.”

In response, Pearl farted again, and Talon closed the door.

Mia gulped as, naked as the day he’d been born, Talon strode across the room, flipped back the bed’s furs and climbed in beside her. Turning toward her, the sliver of light from the second moon of Albrath illuminated the gloriously chiseled contours of his body, and she sighed. Even in the near total darkness, Talon Starkweather was more beautiful to gaze upon than was barbarianly fair. It made her feel bland and dull in comparison.

Then he took her in his arms, and his skin melded with her own. His mouth descended upon her lips and ravished without mercy. She forgot her own name let alone bothering to worry about being dull.

His hands and mouth were everywhere. A finger grazed a nipple while his teeth nibbled an ear. She shivered as tiny sparks of excitement skittered down her spine to land deep in her belly. Her heart stuttered and her pussy pulsed.

Suddenly, he stopped and looked her straight in the eye. “Before we do this, before we go any further, I must have your assurance on something.”

She rolled her eyes. “I said my PDUP spell earlier, Talon. I swear I did. You have nothing to worry about.”

He shook his head. “It’s not that. I must have your promise that no matter what may transpire between us during this challenge you plan on attempting, you will
not
allow yourself to develop tender feelings toward me, princess. I can never be the man who takes your name or sits quietly by your side.”

Mia leaned up on her elbows and stared at the barbarian braced above her. “Wow, talk about arrogant. What makes you think I’d ever be stupid enough to allow my emotions to override my judgment in the first place? Sex very rarely has anything to do with mushy love stuff, Talon. With your supposed vast experience I would’ve thought you’d at least learned that by now. I guess I was mistaken. Isn’t the fact I’m here to take Queen Adrina’s Challenge proof enough for you that I’m not looking for anything more than a lover, and especially not a…a husband?”