Texas Heat (44 page)

“Not this Sunday. We'll read the Bible. It's just as good as going to church and neither one of us has Sunday clothes.”

Luana sighed with relief. Every Sunday she asked the same question, and every Sunday she got the same answer. She knew her pa.

The bacon was fried just the way her father liked it, light brown and crisp. The eggs were scrambled in butter, not bacon grease. The kettle with the grits was sitting in the middle of the table on a pot holder. She'd even folded up a paper towel for a napkin and placed it under the fork. When she heard the bathroom door open, she knew she had a few seconds to run downstairs and snatch a few flowers from Miz Tanner's garden. She set them on the table in a water glass.

Ben walked into the kitchen and stood there a moment, taking in the scene. No doubt about it, his daughter was one a man could be proud of. He felt more of a man today than he'd felt in a long time. Clean clothes, a shower, and a good meal made by someone who loved him.

Luana ate with her eyes downcast. From time to time she'd steal a look at her pa. He wasn't a bad-looking man. In fact, he was kind of handsome in a craggy sort of way. She wished he wasn't so God-fearing and straitlaced, but he'd always tried to provide for her.

 

Sunday brunch at Sunbridge was usually pleasant and drawn out, an opportunity for Riley and Cole to regale Maggie and Susan with the week's activities—sports, school events, what parties were coming up, school dances, and the eternal question, When are we going to get cars of our own?

This Sunday was different. There was an added dimension to the hostility between Riley and Cole, and Maggie knew it had to do with their competition for Luana. She felt responsible; she knew she should have intervened before this. But she'd been afraid her interference would somehow rock the wonderful new relationship she had with Cole.

Now she listened uneasily as Cole mentioned that he'd been with Luana, helping her with her homework. Riley, she noticed, nearly gagged on his food, his deep olive complexion reddening alarmingly. Another mouthful of milk and his fork clattered on his plate. “Last night? You didn't say anything about helping Luana before I left to go out with Kelly,” he said angrily. “I've got to hand it to you, cuz; you really know how to get the jump on somebody.”

Susan fidgeted and leaned over to check little Jessie, who lay in the bassinet beside her chair. She didn't like it when the boys argued, and she blamed herself for hiring Ben Simms and bringing Luana onto Sunbridge.

“How are her studies going?” Maggie asked Riley, trying to speak calmly.

“Okay,” he said sullenly. “She's behind in her math and it isn't easy to catch up.”

“Does she understand the basics—addition, subtraction?”

“More or less,” Riley answered evasively. He knew he wasn't a very good liar. He hadn't spent fifteen minutes helping Luana with math. If there was anything to be taught, it was Luana doing the teaching.

“Cole, how's her English coming?” Maggie prodded.

“Fair. She still has a long way to go.” He glanced at Riley and knew they were having much the same thoughts. But he was one up on his cousin, he thought with satisfaction. Last night had been something else. Luana had never let him go so far before, and every time he thought about how they'd looked together in the mirror over her dresser, he could feel the heat build in his body.

Maggie set her cup down. “I think it might be a good idea for Luana to have a certified tutor. In fact, I'll insist on it when I speak to her father.”

“But then they'll have to pay, and they don't have the money,” Riley said, a note of desperation in his voice.

Cole looked trapped. “Tutors are expensive. They don't have that kind of money.”

Maggie looked from one boy to the other, disgusted. “How much money have you given Luana?” she asked sharply. “And why did you give it to her? Do you both think I'm blind? How much longer did you think you'd get away with it before Mr. Simms noticed the way you look at his daughter? And all those new clothes she's wearing. The man's not stupid.” She took a deep breath. “I've seen
both
of you take her back to the old barn. I know you've been cutting school.”

As if at some unheard signal, the boys pushed back their chairs and faced each other. Cole's arm shot out, but Riley blocked the blow.

“You stupid son of a bitch!” Cole hissed. “I knew you'd get caught. And you squealed to get the edge on me. I knew you Japs couldn't be trusted.”

Maggie gasped and stood up. Susan quickly moved the baby's bassinet out of the way. Little Jessie began to cry.

Riley suddenly swiveled, striking a karate pose, one arm extended, the other held close to his chest. The sound that came from his throat was menacing and frightening. He straight-armed Cole and then spun around, catching his cousin's midsection with the heel of his foot. “I told you to lay off me and I mean it! You ever call me that again and I'll kill you!”

Suddenly Maggie looked up from the boys and saw a figure standing in the doorway. Ben Simms. How much had he heard?

As Cole rolled on the floor, Riley stood over him, daring his cousin to retaliate.

Simms crossed the room and reached for Riley. Sensing movement behind, Riley spun around, one arm stiff, the fingers splayed. Maggie thought he looked carved from stone. Deadly. Capable of killing. Something in his eyes stopped Ben Simms, and they stood facing each other, two figures frozen in time.

It was Maggie who finally moved, going to Cole and helping him to his feet. She sat him down in his chair, then spoke to Riley. “That's enough. Sit down. You boys are too rough on each other, and I won't have you fighting at the table.” She hoped she was conveying to Simms that this was a family dispute, plain and simple.

“You wanted to talk to us, Mr. Simms?” she asked, turning to him with a gracious smile.

“Yes'm. I come over here to thank you for them clothes you gave my daughter and to ask you not to give her any more. Some of them things ain't suitable for a gal her age, especially some of them nightclothes.”

Maggie stiffened. Then, after a long moment, she said, “All right, Mr. Simms, I won't give Luana any of my clothes.”

“And I'd be real obliged if you'd keep these two boys away from her. Especially that one.” He jerked his thumb in Riley's direction. “And I'm sad to say I don't think you own boy is any better. Luana's young, real young, and she ain't wise when it comes to boys. You know what I'm saying, Miz Tanner?”

She smiled grimly. “Yes, Mr. Simms. I know.”

“I'm takin' you on your word, Miz Tanner. When I went into town last night, I didn't know a minute's peace leavin' Luana all by herself at home. If you don't bring those boys into line, Luana and me will have to move on.”

Silence lay heavy in the room long after Ben Simms left. Then Maggie's anger erupted.

“I hope you're both satisfied. And I hope that poor man doesn't really know what's been going on here, or I feel sorry for Luana.” She told the boys of the time she'd heard Ben beating his daughter. “I should have stopped it, I know, but it's hard to know where to draw the line. It isn't easy interfering between a father and daughter. Now I'm afraid for the girl and there's no one to blame but you. She's not blameless, but you both know the difference between right and wrong. From now on that girl is off-limits to both of you. Understand? Off-limits!”

She stalked out of the dining room, her thoughts rioting with images of Luana and Riley and Cole. She felt sorry for Luana, even sympathized with her. At Luana's age she hadn't been much different, a little girl searching for something. But sympathy only went so far—looking out for herself and the boys took precedence. And they're was no getting around it: Luana was a scavenger.

The thought made Maggie's blood run cold.

The first day of May was all an early spring day should
be. The new grass was a tender green, the windswept sky a vital blue, and the air fragrant with Grandmam Jessica's early roses.

It was a perfect day for traveling. Maggie's bags were packed and ready to be put in the car. Cole joked that it looked like a mountain of Louis Vuitton. Despite her high spirits, however, Maggie dreaded her stopover in New York. Eight hours to see and talk to Sawyer before she went to Hawaii. Eight hours to try to set things right when a lifetime hadn't been enough.

She checked her purse. Airline tickets, travelers' checks, a full line of credit from the bank in case the cost of refurbishing the house was more than she anticipated. Car rental reservation, a map of the island, directions to the Kamali house. She had everything she needed. Everything except Rand. He came to mind suddenly, as he always did, when some foolish thing or word reminded her of him. She'd sent him away and hadn't returned. She couldn't even find it in her heart to blame him. How could he know, how could he trust, that she knew her own mind and now had the courage to follow her heart?

Maggie snapped her handbag shut and turned to Cole and Riley. “I'm not going to lecture you or beg you to behave while I'm gone. I trust you. Both of you. If you know what's right, you can't do wrong. Remember that. Don't bring shame on Sunbridge.”

She embraced both boys, lingering a moment longer with Cole, looking deeply into his eyes. She smiled at what was reflected there and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I'll call after I see Sawyer. So stick around, okay?” She looked around at the gentle slope rising behind the house, at the fair expanse of lawn and the miles of white fencing creeping off into the distance. “I hate leaving here. I love it so.”

“You'll be back before you know it,” Susan said cheerfully. “Good luck, Maggie. But don't expect too much. Some things can never change.”

Maggie smiled at her sister, then leaned in close. “C'mon, Jessie, give Aunt Maggie a big buss.” The infant gurgled happily in Susan's arms. “Take care of things, Suse. So long, guys.”

Cole watched the big limousine take his mother down the drive. She seemed to be taking something with her.

It was Susan who noticed Cole squinting up at the sky. “You still don't get it, do you? Maggie is the sunshine. She just took a little bit of it with her.”

 

Adam Jarvis sprinted down the stairs to answer the bell. He looked through the peephole. “Oh, Jesus!” It was Maggie. He recognized her at once from the pictures Sawyer used to carry in her wallet. That had been many years ago, but there was no mistaking the shining dark hair and summer blue eyes, or the striking resemblance to Sawyer. He sighed deeply and opened the door. “Mrs. Tanner. I'm Adam Jarvis.”

“Hello, Adam. I was hoping to see Sawyer. Is she at home?”

Adam hesitated. “Yes, she's up there. I was just on my way out to jog.” He wavered as a thought struck him. “Mrs. Tanner . . . before you go up, could we go down to the corner and have a cup of coffee? There's something you should know.”

Maggie walked beside Adam to the coffee shop, in reality a Jewish delicatessen complete with the tantalizing aromas of cured meats and garlic pickles. Adam found them a table and held the chair for her. Maggie was quite taken with him, aside from knowing how much Billie liked this young man. He was near Sawyer's age and she knew, already quite successful. Tall, broad-shouldered, good-looking, and with such an expression of tenderness in his eyes that she wondered how Sawyer was able to resist him. He loved Sawyer; Billie had said so, and now Maggie could see it for herself.

“I don't want to be there when you see Sawyer,” Adam said abruptly after he'd ordered two coffees. “Okay, so I'm a coward, but she's been putting me through hell and I don't know how much more I can take.” Those broad shoulders seemed to slump, his chin lowered to his chest. “I guess I'll take whatever she wants to dish out, won't I? It's no secret. I'm crazy about her.”

Maggie stretched her hand over the table and touched Adam's. “Yes, it's pretty evident how you feel. Adam, I'm so sorry.”

“I didn't drag you down here to get your sympathy, Mrs. Tanner.”

“Maggie, please.”

“Maggie, there's something you must know. Sawyer's going to be livid when she finds out I've told anyone, but that's a chance I have to take. She's had tests, more tests. We went to the Sloan-Kettering Institute, where they do a lot of experimental work. The group of doctors there have reached the conclusion that Sawyer's tumor might be operable. They give her a twenty percent chance of success.”

Maggie's eyes brightened with joy and relief. “That's hope, real hope!”

“Not according to Sawyer. She refuses to have the surgery.”

“Why? I can't believe—”

“I don't know why, and I don't much give a damn what her reasons are!” he exploded. All the worry and concern, all the defeat, everything he felt was there on his face, in the agonized tone of his voice. “She swore me to secrecy, but I had to tell someone. We've been arguing for days.”

“This is stupid. I'll have to call her grandmother. If anyone can talk some sense into her, Mam can. When do they want to operate?”

“As soon as Sawyer will allow it. Fortunately, that thing in her head is growing slowly, but there's no doubt it will be fatal if she doesn't do something.”

“You want me to talk to her?”

Adam nodded, his eyes glazing with tears. “I love her, Maggie. But she's so filled with resentments and hates, she wants to punish the world. It's almost as if she wants to die to get even with everyone who's ever hurt her. Does that make sense?”

“No,” Maggie told him sadly. “But these things never do. C'mon, walk me back to the loft. Then you can go for your jog. I think I should see Sawyer alone.”

Lugging the carry-on bag over her shoulder, Maggit climbed the stairs and let herself into the apartment. It was a beautiful loft. A loving place. She could feel it.

She walked around slowly until she found the dining area. Sawyer was at the table having coffee, dressed in a lavender sweat shirt and jeans. It was impossible to believe she wasn't in the best of health. Her golden hair was shining, her skin clear and luminescent in the sunlight streaming through the windows. She registered no surprise when she looked up and saw her mother.

“Slumming?”

“Hardly. This is a beautiful home you've made here with Adam.”

“Why are you here? What do you want? Whatever it is, I'm all tapped out.”

“Sawyer, I want to talk, about us.”

“You're a little late, Mother.” Sawyer was trembling so inside, she had to use both hands to hold her coffee cup.

“You aren't going to help me, are you?”

“You're right about that. I told you, it's too late.”

“It's never too late. Look, Sawyer, I won't beg you. All I can do is ask that you
try
to understand. I'm sorry—”

“Sorry!” Sawyer laughed, a bitter sound that sent chills down Maggie's back. “Who's that supposed to make feel better? Me? You? Go get absolution somewhere else.”

“Look, Sawyer, I can't undo what's past, but I want to try to . . . to at least have an understanding with you. The past is gone; the future isn't here yet—all we have is the present. Why can't we work on that?”

“For some reason that doesn't make me feel better. I'm going to die. I won't be in your life anymore. That shouldn't bother you. It never bothered you before. I hate you,” Sawyer cried vehemently. “Don't you understand that?

“And you know something else? I'd have worked my butt off to get Cole away from you. You won that round, too. You always win, Maggie. You're a bitch—a living, breathing bitch. If someone has to die, it should be you.”

Maggie flinched at the hatred in Sawyer's eyes and the venom dripping from her tongue. But she didn't turn away. “I thought the same thing,” she said quietly. “That I should be the one to go. I did make life miserable for everyone. If you'd let me try to explain... maybe you could . . .”

“Forgive you? Never. I don't know a lot about motherhood, but I know this: either you're a mother or you aren't. You never even bothered to pretend.”

“Everything you've said is true. Maybe I am a bitch. But as long as you want to fight in the gutter, let's tell it like it is, okay? I did hate you, but it was a crazy kind of hate all mixed up with love I didn't understand. For God's sake, I was only a child myself. What did I know about babies? You got it all. You got to live at Sunbridge; I was sent away. You had everything that should have been mine. You had Mam. You helped bring Pap's dream to life. I couldn't share any of that. You were loved, doted on. I was the outcast. Everything that should have been mine was given to you.”

Sawyer's voice was filled with ice. “No good, Maggie. It's all bullshit. The only thing I ever wanted was you. You couldn't be bothered. What was your excuse when you were finally on your own?”

Maggie spread her hands. “It was too late. Mam filled my shoes. I had to live with that. There wasn't a day that I didn't think of you. Most of them I spent hating you; I admit that. I fed off that hatred for a long time, just the way you're doing now. I understand. Maybe, in some small way, I can help.”

“I don't want your help. I don't want anything from you except to be left alone. You have it all now. Grand, Sunbridge, Rand, Cole. Even Riley thinks you're the best thing since peanut butter. They just don't know you. You said I was a thief, that I stole your life from you. What about you? You just walked in and took over. Man-eater Maggie. Get out of here and don't ever come back.”

Maggie stood her ground. “If you're referring to Rand, let's get one thing straight right now. I didn't snatch him from you. If you want to be crude about it, he dumped you. And he had his own reasons for doing it, Sawyer—Rand and I were nothing more than friends at the time. Later on ... yes. I did go to bed with him. Several times, as a matter of fact. The first time was out of anger, anger with you. I had your man, the one who dumped you. At the time I thought you had your whole life ahead of you, that one rejection wasn't going to kill you. I was still hating, you see, even then. But he made me take a good long look at my feelings. And when I did, I saw that I cared for him. But I didn't want the wrath of God coming down on me, so I sent him away. And that's the truth.

“You say you want honesty. You want truth, right? Okay. Well, now I'm going to give you some more. Mam said if Rand made me happy, I should go after him. She told me I deserved to be happy. I couldn't believe it at first. I love that man, Sawyer, but I sent him away because of you. Everything is always because of you. I'd cut off my right arm to keep you alive if I could. Rand loves me; honest-to-God loves me. But I was willing to give him up. Hell, I did give him up. I wrote to him afterward, but he hasn't answered. That should make you happy. He doesn't want me either now.
I did not steal him from you
.”

“I loved him, too,” Sawyer said through clenched teeth.

“Sometimes that isn't enough. Rand loved you, but in a different way. I tried to be jealous of that, but I understood. The commitment two people make has to be strong, unshakeable. I never had it—and I flubbed up just when it was within my grasp.” She smiled bitterly. “I always fail. Surely you've noticed that. Whatever I touch seems to wither and die. I couldn't be a mother to you because I knew I'd fail you. And that's the best, most honest explanation I can give you. Now that my guts are hanging out to dry, I have something I want to leave with you.” Maggie tossed her carry-on bag across the floor to Sawyer.

“Whatever it is, I don't want it,” Sawyer said flatly. “I don't want your garbage invading the place I live.”

Maggie's eyes brimmed. “I can't say as I blame you. But don't be too quick to discard what's in that bag. It's my life. Up until last evening. You can make today's entry, any way you want. I have a plane to catch. If there's anything you need or want, call me.”

“I'd die before I called you.” The realization of what she'd just said made Sawyer bite down on her lip. She tasted her own blood. She could barely see Maggie through her tears, but she heard her voice before the door closed behind her.

“A twenty percent chance is better than no chance at all. You're a quitter. I used to be like that. You don't like me, don't want to be like me, yet you're doing just what I used to do—give up, don't fight. Blame everything on someone else. I said it before, and I'll say it again: You have no guts. You say you care about Cole; you say you care about Mam, but it's a lie. If you did care, you'd fight.

“Twenty percent. Some people don't even get that. I can't believe you'd use your own life to get back at me. That's sick. You're trying to make us all guilty. Well, it won't work with me. If you need my help, you know where I am. Call me.”

Sawyer screamed, “Didn't you hear me? I said I'd rather die than call you!”

“Then you probably will,” Maggie said evenly.

“You bitch!” Sawyer screamed again. “You can't fix this. You can't go back and make it right!”

“It's taken me all my life to realize that. I'm glad you finally do. Good-bye, Sawyer.”

“Go to hell!” Sawyer yelled. “Go to hell, goddamn you!”

“I'm already there,” Maggie whispered to herself as she made her way down the narrow steps.