Texas Heroes: Volume 1 (51 page)

“I thought we were finished with Simon. He didn’t believe Davey was his, thought the bodyguard and I—” Her voice faded. But then she straightened. “Then he found a woman he wanted to marry, and I thought we’d been set free.”

Her gaze met his again. “He divorced me, gave me some money I put away for Davey. The only condition was that I couldn’t take Davey from Boston. The Mathesons are very powerful, and Simon told me he would take Davey away if I tried, even though he cared nothing about him. Just pride of ownership, same as with me. I was so thrilled to be away, so happy that he was out of our lives. Everything was good for a while, and then—” Her voice broke.

Mitch tamped down his rage, simply holding her close, waiting for the rest.

“Then he found out his new wife couldn’t bear children. He decided that he’d claim Davey, no matter his private doubts. I had figured out some things by then, things about how he made his money. I threatened to go to the police if he didn’t leave Davey alone.

“He just laughed. Asked me why anyone would believe me over him. Told me he had all kinds of photos and evidence to prove I was an unfit mother. He said if I ever breathed a word, he’d take Davey away and I’d never see him again.”

Mitch knew how fierce her love was for her child. He could feel how afraid she was. He wanted to kill Matheson himself.

“And then he decided to teach me a lesson. He picked Davey up from school one afternoon and took him away for two days. The police wouldn’t help me. I had no idea where he was. I was out of my mind with fear.

“When he brought him back, Davey was a different child. Frightened and too quiet. I knew then that I was out of options. I had to run. Elias helped me, but before I left, I wrote down everything I knew and Elias sent it to the top investigative reporter in Boston.”

She met his gaze. “And then I headed here, to Grandpa Cy. I knew he wouldn’t turn me away, even though I hadn’t heard from him in years. I was just grateful that I’d never told Simon about him and Simon wouldn’t know to look here for us.”

Blue eyes pleaded with him. “I truly didn’t know Grandpa was sick, Mitch. I would never have neglected him.”

Mitch nodded. “I believe you.” He stroked her face. “Why wouldn’t you tell me all this before?” Though he knew. He’d held her in contempt, made it clear she was unwelcome.

But her answer shocked him. “You don’t know what he’s like. Simon would hurt you, too, if he came here and found that you had helped us.”

Mitch couldn’t believe his ears. She was protecting
him
? “I’ve been taking care of myself since I was sixteen, Perrie. He can’t hurt me.”

“He’s evil, Mitch. Evil to the bone. He’s not just mean, but there’s something twisted inside him. He’d do anything to get us back—anything.”

“That’s why you have to go back and testify.”

She jerked away from him, agitation in every line of her frame. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“Perrie, you have to face this, or you and Davey have no future. You can’t keep running away.”

Perrie laughed bitterly and whirled to face him. “You’re a fine one to be talking.” She stabbed a finger in his direction. “What are you doing here, if not hiding out? You won’t let anyone close, won’t stay in one place. Something’s happened in your life and you’re still running away from it—who are you to tell me I have to face Simon?”

Mitch took a step back from her anger, fury flooding his veins. He clenched his fists, ready to turn and—

And walk away. Just as she’d accused.

How different was that from Perrie running?

Within him boiled a potent brew of too many feelings he couldn’t contain. He grasped at a lifetime of rigid control, knowing that like a pressure cooker over a fire turned too high, too much threatened to blow free. Hadn’t he learned the price of emotion careening around, destroying everything in its path?

Silence had been his refuge for so long. It was hard to let go.

He turned to the fire, grasping hold of the mantel.

How could he tell her what he’d done? How would she ever trust him then?

But something inside Mitch told him that if he didn’t try now, he never would. And a chance, infinitely precious, would be lost to him forever.

Perrie watched the struggle. Mitch was a very private man, never more alone than now.

“I killed my mother.” His voice was harsh. Unyielding. Dark with pain.

She stemmed the shock of his words. “I don’t believe you.”

Eyes that were black holes of agony bored into her gaze. Silence spun out, then finally he spoke. “She was the gentlest person I ever knew. The mother every kid should have. Never too busy to read a story or bake cookies or hand out hugs.” He looked straight at her. “She was a lot like you that way. Davey doesn’t know how good he’s got it.”

Perrie held her breath, for fear of stemming the flow of this bounty of words from such a private man.

“When I was sixteen, I was a hell-raiser—full of myself, full of itches to be grown, to be gone, to live anywhere but Morning Star, Texas.” He glanced away, unseeing. “I don’t know why. My brother Boone was two years younger, and he loved the ranch. Couldn’t get enough of any of it, especially horses. Me, I couldn’t wait to get away. My dad and I locked horns almost every day.”

More emotion than she’d ever seen swept across his face. Longing. Anguish. Anger.

“I came home drunk one night—one of many nights—and my dad and I got in a big fight. I threw some words around without caring where they hit. Said I’d had it, I was moving out. He told me the sooner the better.”

Sixteen. Still more boy than man.

“I loaded up my stuff and left, a lot of harsh words between us. My mom was crying, and I remember hearing them fighting as I drove away.”

Darkness shadowed his face. “The night was rainy, and I was drunk and mad and driving like a bat out of hell. I almost hit a truck, but he swerved and missed me. He lost control and hit a car down the road behind me.”

Then despair like she’d never seen washed over him. “My mother had jumped in her car to come after me. It was her car that he hit.” Mitch paused, as if he couldn’t bear to continue.

Perrie clenched her hands, her palms wet. She wanted to stop him, to tell him he didn’t have to say any more.

He swallowed hard. “I saw the crash in my rearview mirror. I turned around and went back. And found her.”

One hand covered her mouth. Perrie didn’t want to hear any more, but he needed to tell her.

He lifted his gaze to hers, his dark eyes so filled with torment that Perrie wanted to cry out herself. She took a step toward him, but Mitch held up a hand to stop her.

“She died in my arms, but not before she told me not to let my anger win. She asked me to take care of Dad and Boone. Told me she—” He swallowed hard. “She loved me. I killed her because I couldn’t control my hot head—and she’s telling me how sorry she is for me. Telling me she loves me.”

Perrie couldn’t stand back and let him suffer. She grasped his hand. “It was an accident, Mitch. A terrible, tragic accident. You didn’t mean it to happen.”

He yanked away and roared. “Of course I didn’t—but that didn’t matter. She was still dead—the best person I ever knew. And I was walking around without a scratch.” He raked fingers through his hair. “My dad never forgave me, and I can’t blame him. He loved her with every breath in his body, and the last words they spoke were in anger—because of me. Because I couldn’t control my goddamned feelings, couldn’t see anyone outside myself.”

He straightened abruptly. As if some kind of robot had taken over, his features hardened into a mask. “My father was so insane with grief that he tried to have me arrested for murder. The sheriff told him it was an accident, but my dad was right. I killed her, just as if I’d taken out a gun and done it on purpose. He banned me from the funeral and told me he had only one son. Told me to get the hell out and never come back.”

Mitch turned to face her, his voice emotionless, though she could see in his eyes the wounded creature still writhing in pain. “I never did. And now it’s too late.”

“Why?”

Though his voice was still impassive, she could see tiny cracks in his control. “I got a letter today, too. From my brother Boone. A private investigator tracked me down. Boone wants me to come home.”

His eyes were the saddest thing she’d ever seen. “I can go home now because my father’s dead.”

Oh, God. What a horrible tragedy, for all of them. No wonder he held himself so much apart from others, never formed bonds of any kind. With all he’d suffered, how could she bring down more on him by involving him in the tangled web of her own life?

“Will you go?” she asked. “To see your brother?”

The mask dissolved, just a little. She saw the longing in his gaze before he shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you miss him?”

“I don’t know him any more.”

“I’ve seen you look at Davey. There’s so much more to you than you admit, Mitch. You need a family. You need to let yourself be loved.”

“You need to face Simon,” he retorted. “Are you going to do it?”

Perrie recoiled, then stared at him, wondering how she’d been so wrong in the beginning. He wasn’t cold and unfeeling as she’d assumed—if anything, Mitch felt too much. He’d lived for many years consumed by guilt and needless pain over what had basically been a youthful mistake, however tragic the consequences. His father had wronged him badly, but Mitch still heaped all the blame on himself, taking responsibility that wasn’t all his.

Just as he’d taken her and Davey on, despite his preference to remain alone. Though she’d once seen only a loner and a drifter, the days here had shown her a man capable of deep caring, a man who had been as good a father figure as she could ever have conjured up for her son. Who’d been kind to her even when he’d thought the worst of her. Who had shown her tantalizing glimpses of just how a woman could be cherished—until she’d forced him away.

What more could they have together if she would take a chance? If she would go back to Boston and end Simon’s threat to their lives? She’d made a big mistake in judgment with Simon, but Mitch was Simon’s polar opposite. He’d shown them in a thousand ways just how worthy he was of their trust.

She wanted more time with him, more space to let love grow, for she knew, deep in her heart, that love was what this was all about. A love deserving of a chance that she could provide—if she’d go back.

But she couldn’t take Davey back there. Couldn’t risk it. Then an idea popped into her head.

I want you to be my dad
. She could hear Davey’s words ringing.

“Mitch?”

He turned from his contemplation of the fire.

“Do you want me?”

He looked stunned. “What the hell kind of question is that?”

“A simple question. With a simple answer.”

He shook his head. “It’s not simple at all.”

“Then I’ve got my answer. No.” Shoulders sagging, she turned away and started packing.

His big hand gripped her shoulder, spun her around. “Why are you asking me this?”

“Because I…” Fear bolted up her spine, making it hard to breathe. Gripping her hands tightly together, she forced herself to go on. “I want you. I want you in my life, but I don’t want you hurt by Simon. I want what Davey wants, but he’s braver about asking.”

His fingers dug into her arms. “Haven’t you heard a word I’ve said? People who care about me die.”

“One person,” she whispered.

“What?” His eyes were wild now, as though he wanted to be anyplace but here.

She swallowed. “One person died. And it was an accident.”

His jaw tightened. “She’s still dead. My family still disintegrated.”

Perrie got mad then, and anger gave her courage. “That was your father’s fault, not yours.”

“Don’t you understand? I don’t know the first thing about love.”

“You’re so wrong. I’ve watched you with Davey.” She glanced down, then forced her gaze back up. “I’ve felt your caress.”

His eyes went black then, coals of memory smoldering. “That was only—”

She covered his mouth with her hand. “Don’t you tell me that was only sex. I’ve had only sex. This was different. We made love, Mitch. My heart and your heart—they touched.”

Her knees trembled. She waited for him to scoff.

But he didn’t. Instead, sadness filled his gaze before he looked away. “It doesn’t matter.” He shook his head. “I can’t be what you need. I don’t know anything about families.”

“I think your mother would disagree.”

His head shot up, his eyes sparking with the faintest glimpse of hope.

It was a start. Only time would convince him. Time they didn’t have, unless she went back and faced Simon.

“I need your help, Mitch.”

“With what?”

“I want to leave Davey with you while I go back to Boston to testify.”

For the second time that day, Mitch looked stunned. “Leave him with me?”

She rushed to explain. “I know it’s a lot of trouble, but I just can’t risk having him in Boston until I know that Simon can’t harm him. He would be so happy with you and—”

Mitch held up a hand. “He’s not a problem.” Then he frowned. “You would leave him with me, even after what I told you?”

“Of course I would.”

“You’re going back?”

“You were right. It’s what I have to do, or he and I will never be free.” She lifted her gaze to his. “And there will never be a chance for us.”

When he started shaking his head slowly, her heart sank. She could see a war going on inside him as he stared into the fire.

Mitch heard her words, all of them, but believing them was something different. Yet he saw the dream she offered, and deep within him, hope stirred.

Her courage shamed him. She was willing to face a man who terrified her, to give them a chance. He might have doubts the size of these mountains that they could make this work, but how could he do less?

He faced her, noted her pallor, the hands so tightly clasped.

“I can’t let you leave Davey here—”

Her shoulders sagged.

“—but we’ll go with you.”

She blinked. “But…”

He kept going. “I don’t just want Davey safe. I want you safe, too. I don’t want you near Simon alone.”