That Baby (14 page)

“No, not yet. It’s been chaotic. Thankfully, our master bedroom is done. And in a few more days, we’ll have the home gym to beat all gyms. The sauna is going to be nice, although I can’t use it while I’m pregnant, but I’m super excited for the area where I can do yoga.”

“You're going to do yoga? But you're so—”

“Were you going to say huge?” she screeches, holding her large bump, which is really too large now to be classified as such.

“Uh, no. I was going to say high strung.” Really, I was.

“That's why I want to do yoga—to center myself. I'm taking a prenatal yoga class and I really like it. And inner calmness is good for the baby and me. Did you notice how I was breathing calmly while Danny was going on and on about how good dinner was, when what I really wanted to do was take those garlic rolls and shove them up his ass?”

“Hmm, maybe I do need yoga.”

“You should come to class with me. It's at 6am—just down the street.”

“6am? Are you freaking kidding me? If you can go around eight, maybe. But back to my problem. What am I going to do about Phillip’s mom?”

“I don’t know,” she says. “There’s not much you can do, is there?”

“I don’t know either, but I do know I still want a freaking cheeseburger. Wanna go get one?”

“Ooh,” she says. “I’d love to. The meal was too garlicky for me. I would have been burping it up all night. Should we take the boys?”

“They may never leave the dining room,” I joke.
 

CHAPTER THREE

Dear Baby Mac,

You are growing like crazy. You’ve more than doubled in size. Your dad talks to you at night before we go to sleep. It reminds me of when we were young and he would call me every night on the phone. I hope you like the sound of his voice as much as I do. He’s amazing. You’re really lucky.
 

Me, on the other hand, we’re going on 3 weeks of this permanently hungover feeling.
 

Except I can’t drink.
 

So far, we're not getting started off on the right foot here.

February 10th

A naked picnic.

“I think I’ll go jogging with you this morning, Phillip,” I say as he rolls out of bed.
 

“Really? Are you sure you’re feeling up to it?”

“Yeah, I didn’t feel as sick yesterday, and I want to try to stay in shape. They say it makes both your delivery and recovery easier. Plus, I miss running.”

He pulls me up. “I’ve missed running with you. Dress warm though, it’s pretty chilly.”

I put on my winter running gear and follow Phillip out the front door.
 

“Whooh, it is pretty cold!” I say, practically seeing my breath crystalize before me.

“It’s not bad once you get going.”

As we’re jogging around the lake, Phillip says, “So our one month anniversary is the day before Valentine’s Day. I think we should do something special, since it’s our first Valentine’s Day as a couple.”

“You’ve given me flowers for as long as I can remember.”

“That’s because I had a big crush on you. Did you have anything you want to do or should I plan something?”

“Let’s plan it together. Our anniversary is Tuesday and Valentine’s Day is Wednesday.”

“Yeah, it’s during the week. I was thinking we could take a couple days off. Maybe spend one day looking at baby stuff. I know you’ve been looking at ideas on how to decorate the nursery. Are you excited to buy all that?”

“I am, Phillip, but I don’t want to get anything yet.”

“Why not?”

“I’d like to wait until after our ultrasound. Make sure everything is okay.”

He nods his head solemnly. “I’ve been flipping through the pregnancy book. There is a lot that can go wrong, isn’t there?”

“Phillip, you’re not reading worst-case scenarios for the first trimester, are you?”

He shrugs. “You know I like to be prepared for the worst.”

“I don’t even want to consider the worst.”

“That’s fine. You let me worry about all that.”

“Is it freaking you out a little?”

“No, not at all. So, back to our anniversary, I was thinking maybe we could go shopping. Maybe get a couple’s massage. Come back to our house for some fun.”

“Do you remember when we first got together—how we did it in every room in my condo?”

He grins. “Oh, I remember that well. It was like the Around The World basketball game we used to play. Only I was scoring in every room.”

“We have a lot more rooms in our new house,” I suggest.

“And that’s how you want to spend our two days?”

I give a casual shoulder shrug. “It’s just a thought. Depends on if we can be alone.”

“I’ll make sure we are.”

“I love the idea of sleeping in, shopping, having a long, leisurely lunch, shopping a little more, then coming home and relaxing. Maybe a picnic in front of our fireplace?”

“A naked picnic?”

“I was thinking you might like to go shopping for some lingerie too.”

“Oh, I like that idea. It’s a date.”

February 13th

All about that lace.

“Hey, Princess,” Phillip says, gently waking me. “I’ve got to run to the office for just a bit. Minor crisis to deal with, but I’ll be back in two hours with whatever you want me to bring.”

“A chocolate chip muffin and some orange juice sound really good,” I suggest.
 

“Your wish is my command. I can’t wait to spend the day with you.” He kisses my forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

I try but can’t get back to sleep. I’m too excited for today. Instead, I get up, take a long shower and prepare myself for our two-day celebration. I shave, paint my nails, blow out my hair and curl it, do my makeup, and then put on a cute dress, tights, and boots.

I go stand in the room that will be the baby’s nursery and stare at it. Imagine it with a soft color on the wall. Imagine different furniture arrangements.

We got a large basket as a wedding gift that I thought I would put throws in, but its soft blue color would look really cute in the nursery. I run downstairs, looking for the basket.

“Ahh!” I scream, as I catch a glimpse of the Husker gnome, who is staring at me from atop the living room mantle.
 

What the hell?

How did he get up there?

I grab my phone, run into our bedroom—so the gnome won’t hear me—and call Phillip.
 

“Are you on your way home?”

“Yeah, should be there in a few minutes. Why? You just wake up? I was hoping to join you in bed.”

“Did you move the gnome?”

“The what?”

“You know. That ugly little gnome we got as a wedding gift.”

“The Husker one? Uh, no. I honestly haven’t seen it since we unwrapped it.”

“Or there’s another explanation.”

“Like, my mom moved it?”

“That or it’s possessed and comes alive at night. He moved once before. I just didn’t tell you about it.”

Phillip laughs.
 

“Don’t you laugh. I’m serious. He was on the dining room table and was creeping me out, so I covered his face with wrapping paper. The next day, the paper was off his head and crunched into a little wad by his boot. So then I shut him in a drawer with the cutlery. How did he get out of the drawer, Phillip?”

“I’m sure there’s a logical explanation,” he says. Phillip is nothing if not logical.
 

“Like what?”

“My mom cleaned up the dining room. She must have moved it.”

“I’m going to check the drawer.”

“For what?”

“To see if she put anything in it.”

I run into the dining room, checking on the way to see if the gnome is still on the mantle.

Thankfully, he is.

And he’s not holding a little knife or anything—that I can see.

I whip open the drawer and see that it’s exactly the way I left it—minus the gnome.
 

“Shit, Phillip. It’s the same.”

“I’m pulling in the garage,” he says.
 

I rush to the door, opening it and throwing a dishtowel at him.
 

He snatches it out of the air. “What’s this for?”

“For you to cover the gnome with.”

He laughs again. “You’re got to be kidding me.”

As I grab his hand and drag him to the mantle, he’s still chuckling—until he looks the gnome in the eye.
 

“He does kind of look like trouble,” Phillip says seriously, tossing the towel over the gnome’s head. “Where do you want him?”

“Back in the drawer,” I say, leading him to the dining room and opening the top drawer of the hutch.
 

Phillip lays the gnome face up, like I did before, and quickly shuts the drawer then grabs my ass. “You look pretty. You ready to go, or you wanna go back to bed?”

“Did you forget my breakfast?”

“It’s in the car. I figured I needed to rescue you from the evil gnome first. I learned my lesson with the spider and got here as fast as I could,” he says with a smirk. “I didn’t want to find you on the ground, being stomped on by his little black boot.”

I smack his shoulder. “You better not be making fun of me.”
 

“Never,” he says, giving me a deep kiss then picking me up and carrying me to the bedroom.

Now, I’m sitting in the car, eating my muffin, while we drive to the Plaza.
 

We wander through a bunch of shops, looking at clothes, shoes, and stuff for the house when Phillip stumbles upon something incredible.
 

“Look at this table,” he says, running his hand across the soft wooden top. “People have carved their names in it.”

“That’s so amazing.”

“Can you imagine how cool it would be for our kids to carve their names in it? All their friends. All our friends.”

“It’d be a lifetime of memories,” I agree. “Just the thought of that—us, with a houseful of kids—makes me feel so emotional. That’s what I want our house to be, a place where everyone feels comfortable. Where if you spill juice or some beer, no one’s going to freak out. Where you feel love. Happiness.”

“I love how excited you are about our future,” he says, his hands settling on my stomach. “You changed your mind, didn’t you? You want a house full of kids.”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“And I think we need a kitchen table like this.”

“It looks expensive,” I say, hoping my dreams aren’t dashed.

Phillip whistles when he sees the price.
 

“It’s one of a kind,” I justify, reading the tag and cringing. “Custom designed to fit your space. You even have a choice of woods.”

“I like it just like it is,” he says. “Do you think it would go with our cabinets?”

“The rustic industrial vibe it has would pair so well with our kitchen design. And, my gosh, this wood is so thick.” I bend down to examine it.