That Baby (9 page)

He wipes his hands on a towel and takes mine. “You did all those sketches of what the inside of the offices will look like. Could you do that for our house? Our dream house book?”

“That’s a great idea, Phillip. I’ll make drawings for each room. And it would be a great way for me to save paint and fabric swatches, decor ideas. In fact, I found a really cool chandelier for the nursery, and I saved a photo from one of the house magazines I was looking at on our flight home from the honeymoon.” I dig through my purse and show Phillip the photo. “See how they did contemporary wing backs at the heads of the table? I thought that would be so cool and give the table a more modern look. Hang on.” I grab an empty sketchpad from my office, sit back down at the bar, tape in the photo, then use a metallic marker to write on the front of the book.

Dream House.

I look at Phillip—really look at him—and my heart swells with love. “You’re pretty smart, Phillip. You’re going to make a great dad.”

I am immediately rewarded with a long, sweet kiss.
 

I take a nap while Phillip makes a trip to the store.
 

When he gets back, he gently runs his hand across my face to wake me.
 

I sigh, feeling blissfully happy. I’m so lucky to be married to Phillip.
 

“I suppose I better get ready. Everyone will be here soon and I can’t wait to see what we got.”

“We registered for some really cool stuff,” he agrees.
 

“Phillip, I was thinking we could use some of the money we get to decorate the nursery. Would you be okay with that?”

“I think that’s an awesome idea.”

“I’m excited to decorate the nursery.”

“Do you know what you want?”

“Not yet. Looking at the nursery stores with Lori was both amazing and completely overwhelming. So many directions you can go with decor. Do you have anything in mind?”

“Most nurseries I’ve seen have been bright colors, but it seems counterproductive to me. Don’t we want the baby to sleep in there? Shouldn’t it be calm and serene, like our bedroom?”

“I think that’s a good idea, Phillip. I suppose I should get up and help you put the groceries away.”

“I suppose you should,” he says, surprising me—and not in a good way. I thought he’d already have it done, and maybe want to slip into bed with me.
 

But when I get to the kitchen, I see why he wanted me to come out here.
 

On the island is a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
 

“What are those for?” I ask.
 

“No reason, really. Although, technically you’ve been my wife for two weeks now.” He kisses me. “Happy Anniversary.”

“Happy Anniversary, Phillip. Thank you! They are so pretty. I need to get them in some water. Although, I don’t have a vase.”

Phillip runs downstairs and comes up with a pitcher sized beer mug called
Das boot
, which must be German for, let’s get drunk. He fills it with water while I cut the ends of the stems then arrange them in the glass.
 

“It looks good,” I say.
 

“Hopefully we registered for a vase,” he chuckles.

“Yes, this is looking pretty classy,” I say with a laugh.
 

He grabs my ass with one hand and kisses my neck.
 

I raise an eyebrow at him. “Phillip, you didn't buy flowers for no reason. You want sex and you’re hoping the flowers will get it for you.”

“Really, going back to the store for you should have been enough, don’t you think?”

“Yes, that was sweet. Did you know you have a sexual tell? Whenever you do this”—I grab his butt and kiss his neck—“it means you want it.”

He gives me a sexy smile, but ignores my comment.
 

“And how is my beautiful wife feeling right now?” he asks, picking me up and carrying me into the bedroom.

“Perfect,” I say as he lays me on the bed.

I’m feeling dreamy after our late afternoon romp.

After showering together and getting ready, he checks his phone. “The parents should be here any minute.”

A few minutes later, the doorbell rings announcing the arrival of the Macs and the Diamonds. After hugs and kisses and questions about the honeymoon, the dads and Phillip are sent out to unload their cars. Very quickly, my hall is filled with bags and my kitchen island and frig are filled with more food.
 

I peek at the roast I put in the oven earlier and see that it’s looking and smelling perfect. I toss in carrots and onions and throw some tinfoil loosely over the top, then get everyone set up with a drink and a chair in the dining room. Lori and Danny join us as well and Mr. and Mrs. Diamond look at each other then say at the same time, “We have some news.”

Chuck says, “Mary, why don’t you tell them?”
 

Mary smiles. “Chuck decided to go into semi-retirement. We want to travel a lot and decided to start by touring the south of France: Monaco, Nice, and the French Riviera. Then we’re going on a cruise of the Greek Islands. Since Danny is off season and the baby isn’t due for a few months, we decided it would be the perfect time.”

Mrs. Mac adds, “And I thought I’d travel down here with Doug while he’s on business. Maybe I can help you with the building, JJ.”

“Uh, we have most everything picked out already, but I’m sure Phillip could find you something to do at the office,” I say in a diplomatic way.
 

Phillip’s sister, Ashley, and her husband, Cooper, arrive midway through the gift opening. This past fall, I was really worried about their marriage.
 

But as we open more gifts, I notice that they are sitting very close to each other, the way they did when they were first dating. His hand is on her knee and she’s beaming.
 

When we take a break to refill drinks, I pull her aside. “You and Cooper seem so happy. Things going better?”

“Things are going great,” she says. “He was really stressed this fall, trying to finish his Masters Degree and studying for his Series Seven license. He’s graduated, passed the tests, and is back to doing what he loves—selling financial services. He also got a big raise when he got his licensing and he’s earning more commission, so he’s taking me on an amazing anniversary trip this spring. We’re going to buy a house soon and we’re even talking about when we might start a family.”

I give her a hug. “I’m so happy for you, Ash. How’s your job going?”

“It’s good and it looks like I’ll get to transfer to the school of my choice this fall. I may not be able to teach first grade, but I’ll be in the elementary school in the area where we want to buy a house, so I’m hoping it all works out. What about you? The honeymoon sounded amazing and I heard you’re breaking ground this week.”

“We are. As soon as we get all the building permits, construction will start.”

“My dad is really excited. Did you hear he and Mom are going to be staying with you?”

“Like tonight?”

“Yes, tonight, but also while Dad is traveling down here for business. Phillip told him it’s silly for him to stay in a hotel. While the Diamonds are out of the country, Mom’s going to travel with him. You’re going to have to find some way to keep her busy at the office or she’s going to be all up in your business.”

“You think?”
 

“I know. I love my mother, but I wouldn’t want her living with me. You know how she is. Everything has to be done her way. Look,” Ashley says, “it’s already started. See what she just did?”

“Did she just rearrange my water goblets?”

“Yep,” Ashley says, giving me a pat on the back. “You won’t know where anything is in your own house. And imagine what having her here will do to your sex life.”

I wander nonchalantly over to the kitchen cabinet she just rearranged and take a peek. She has all the goblets lined up like little soldiers. She’s moved the basic ones I use every day to a higher shelf and put the prettier ones on the first shelf.

I shrug off Ashley’s comment because, really, I should use the prettier ones more often. And once we open presents, I’ll have to rearrange them again anyway.
 

I’m sure she’s just exaggerating.
 

They say every couple gets at least one memorable wedding gift. Sometimes it is good, sometimes it is bad, and sometimes it’s downright ugly.

What we got doesn’t fall into any of these categories. Sure, we got many amazing and thoughtful gifts. Gorgeous sets of china and stemware, everyday dishes, serveware, Christmas items, gourmet cookware, garage essentials, candlesticks, gadgets, table linens, sheets, and towels.

But our memorable thing is a Husker garden gnome. He’s small, dressed in our team colors, and has a cute hat, but I’m pretty sure this gnome is up to no good.
 

I privately tell Phillip, “I’m not sure about the gnome. Did you see his shifty eyes? He’s looking up at you like he’s good but yet he still looks evil. I think he has a plan to take over the world. Can you imagine trying to bow to a gnome?”

“You’re being silly. I think it’s kinda cute. And, besides, it’s a
Husker
gnome.”

By the time we get all the presents open, the moms have drunk a fair amount of wine. They help me do the dinner dishes and quickly retire. Lori goes home. Ashley and Cooper can’t seem to wait to get to their hotel, and Danny, Phillip, and the dads are smoking cigars in the hot tub.
 

I'm puttering around putting a few of the gifts away.
 

I decide to tackle the china, proudly opening Mom’s cabinet while imagining her doing the very same thing after she and my dad were married.

I'm emotional and may have a few tears in my eyes as I reach for a vegetable bowl.

“Ahh!” I scream, because there, behind the bowl, stands the gnome.
 

Oh my gosh! The gnome moved!

Don't laugh. I’m serious.

After the gnome was opened and passed around the room, I set the gnome on the buffet table with some other home decor items—beautiful picture frames, crystal candlesticks, and some cool hurricane lanterns.
 

I judge the distance from the buffet to the table and wonder how he got there.
 

It’s then that I realize the gnome is smirking at me.

And I know his expression has changed because I clearly remember pointing out his creepy smile.

I walk out to the deck and ask Phillip, “Hey, you know that Husker garden gnome? Do you remember it's facial expression?”

“What?” Mr. Mac says, scotch sloshing.

“I do,” Danny says with a naughty smirk of his own. “It has an O-shaped mouth like he'd just been pleasured by a girl gnome.”

They all laugh like it’s the funniest thing they have ever heard.

I go back and look at the gnome. He's wearing the creepy smile again and he may have just winked at me.
 

I ignore the stupid gnome, grab the adorable football-shaped chip and dip bowl and a set of stacked stainless steel bowls and take them to the kitchen to use for the party tomorrow. Then I grab the mugs that will be perfect for Bloody Marys and put them in the dishwasher.
 

Time for bed.
 

But as I’m brushing my teeth, I can’t stop thinking about the gnome.
 

I run back to the dining room and look the gnome in the eye. He responds with a blank stare—the kind of stare people give you when they are trying to pretend they don't care about something very important.

I throw some gift wrap over his head and go to bed.
 

February 4th

Like each other.
 

I’m getting ready for the party when Phillip’s mom asks me to grab our new crockpot.
 

When I get to the dining room, I do a double take.
 

The wrapping paper is off the gnome’s head and it's smooshed down next to his little round-toed boot—like all he’s been doing since I covered him up was stomping on the paper.