The 10 Year Plan (12 page)

Parked at the side of the road in their squad car, Brody, with a dark cloud over his head, and Richard were looking for speeders. Sure enough, a car soon came by that set off the radar.

“Look at this guy,” Richard said. “He didn't even attempt to slow down when he saw us.”

“Light ‘em up.” Brody was really pissed—not at the driver but at the situation with Myles. He couldn't do anything about that. But he could about this.

“He was just going forty.”

“He's speeding. Right in front of us! People need to learn respect for authority.
Light ‘em up
. Let's get him!” Brody knew he was overreacting but couldn't control how he felt.

“It's not a big deal.” Richard tried to dismiss the situation. Brody had been a nightmare to deal with all week. He'd been edgy and irritated. Not the lovable, fun partner Richard enjoyed, but a sullen, depressed mess of a man who was riding Richard's last nerve.

Brody gave Richard an icy look. “I said
let's get him
.”

“Are you now the asshole cop who chases down an ‘87 Corolla for going fifteen miles over the speed limit?”

“Yes,” he snapped back, quickly adjusting his tone with Richard, knowing he'd totally overreacted and a bit embarrassed at his behavior.

“You really need to straighten this thing out with Myles.”

“I've tried calling, texting, and e-mailing. He's not talking to me. I may not be the smartest guy around, but I can take a hint when someone doesn't want to see me.” Richard could hear the desperation in his voice.

“You need to go over there and work this out. Knock his door down if you have to.”

Brody ignored him. Richard didn't know Myles like he did. Once Myles made his mind up about something, there was no changing it. Myles was hurt and done with Brody, and he knew that. No amount of apologizing could fix what had happened between them.

“You're a cop for Christ's sake. Man up! You miss him. Make it right.”

“He's not going to forgive me,” Brody attempted to explain to Richard, despite knowing that it was pointless.

“You owe it to yourself and even more so, you owe it to Myles to clear this up. It was an innocent mistake; you can't let him go on hurting like this. If not for your sake, for Myles' sake. He doesn't deserve the heartache this is bringing him.”

Richard was right. Just like he was during lunch when he told Brody to make sure he confessed everything right away. Brody couldn't let Myles go through the rest of his life thinking that his best friend betrayed him. He knew he had to talk to Myles whether he wanted to or not.

***

That night after work Brody pulled up in front of Myles' apartment. He wasn't sure about how this would go.
Come on, man,
he told himself.
Myles is your friend. Your best friend and has been for years.
He sighed deeply,
you have to do this. He deserves to know the truth.
Brody paused for a moment, and then climbed out of the car.

Inside the apartment building Brody banged at the door. No answer. He tried again. “Myles? I know you're in there. Please answer. Please talk to me. I need you to open up now.”

Across the hall, Mr. Harrington opened his door. “Knock one more time and I'm calling the cops.”

Brody turned and flashed his badge. He was in no mood for this guy and just wanted to shut him up.

“Sorry, officer. Undercover, huh? A sting operation? I get it! Is everything okay? Are you still after Myles?”

Not this guy again,
Brody thought. “Have you seen him?”

The man shook his head. “What did he do this time?”

“He didn't do anything.” The guy was a jerk! No, he was just the typical nosey neighbor. He had to stop blaming everyone else for his own problems.

“It's always the quiet ones. I knew he was a bad seed!” Mr. Harrington said.

“That isn't the case,” Brody said, his tone dismissive.

“Of course you can't say anything. I know what's going on. I just hope you get that son-of-a bitch!” Mr. Harrington expounded as he gave a nervous look around the courtyard, obviously wanting to see if any additional mischief was afoot. With a look of satisfaction that all was fine, he retreated into his apartment.

Brody shook his head at the obviously off fellow and realized Myles wasn't home. He'd have to try another day. Defeated, but slightly relieved, he left the complex.

***

Myles sat on the couch in Diane's house with a full spread of food in front of him—not the sort he would generally eat, but the situation had changed. Diane was his only friend now and the only person who he could talk to and share his news with. He was thankful to have her in his life. If it weren't for her, he'd have nobody. Diane's house was a homey place with comfortable chairs and couch, in a warm brown. Splotches of color—abstract art—decorated three walls. The fourth wall was a large picture window looking out on a wide expanse of green lawn.

Diane entered the living room carrying two beers proclaiming, “Pizza, wings, and beer. Who needs men?” She set the drinks on the coffee table in front of the couch. “We'll have more fun without them.”

Myles rolled his eyes. “No, we won't.”

She half-shrugged and admitted, “You're right.”

Myles took a swig of beer. “I'll try not to bitch about how much men suck.” It was meant to be funny, but behind the humor was a bit of truth.

There was all the bad luck he'd had in dating, and now this thing with Brody. Of course, he had to admit it really wasn't all Brody's fault, Hunter hooked up with him too. They were both to blame, he thought. But no, that wasn't fair either. Brody had no idea that Hunter and Stone were the same person.

If he was being honest with himself, the truth was that Myles didn't care enough about Hunter for it to really hurt. It was Brody who had broken his heart this time. If Brody had cared, he wouldn't have hooked up with anyone that night. No, that wasn't true either. But Myles couldn't stop blaming Brody and himself for being so gullible, and for believing that something existed between them for all those years. He sighed and shook his head.

“Lucky for you, I have the perfect evening planned. Comfort food, ice cream, and a romantic movie!” She pulled out a copy of
her favorite romantic comedy,
eCupid.

“I love that we're doing this,” Myles said. And he did very much appreciate that Diane was there when he needed her.

“I do it every day.”

“What about Richard?”

“Are you kidding me? He's more into it than I am. Two bowls of pistachio ice cream, twin snuggies, and a romantic movie. We cry all night long!” She laughed at Myles' expression.

“Lucky bitch.”

“I know.”

“Diane, I need to tell you something. Please don't be upset.” Despite what he asked, Myles knew she would be. But after a great deal of thought he'd come to a decision, the only logical one there was. Now was the time to spring it on her.

“Any conversation that starts with ‘don't be upset' upsets me.” Diane knew Myles was going to spring something big on her. He was acting unusually pensive.

“I need to start fresh. Go somewhere far away from here.” There, it was out. It felt good to finally tell her. He'd been struggling with this decision and how to let her know about it for days.

“You're moving to the Valley?”

“I'm thinking of transferring to the New York office. There's a job opening for a senior litigator that starts next week. I know you're not going to agree with this, but I really need to be anywhere but here.”

He thought a fresh start was sure to help. He could shed his old personality and become someone different. Not a victim of romance anymore, or so he told himself. He hoped Diane would understand and support him in this decision. It was the right thing to do. Myles was convinced of it. He had struggled with this decision all week and had finally reached the most practical of solutions.

“You want to leave and move to New York?” And there was staid and fierce Diana, with tears about to spill from her eyes. Was she hearing correctly? Was Myles really going to bail on everything he had because of this?

“We both know I should go.”

“Actually,
we
don't. I think you're running away from your problems.” She attempted to be understanding but was failing miserably at it.

“Please don't make this harder for me than it already is. I need to do this.” He'd made up his mind and was determined to follow through. Of course, he had regrets, but what he planned to do was for the best.

“No you don't. It's an irrational, impetuous… and a totally emotionally-clouded decision.”

“I have to break this cycle, and I can't do it in Los Angeles.” He'd miss Diane and his life in Los Angeles. And then there was Brody—his very best friend for all those years. But he had to do it. It was the best decision for both of them. Brody wouldn't be able to find someone either. They had to stop being each other's crutch. Both of them deserved to find the right person and neither of them could do that with the other interfering in that. His leaving was not only for himself, but for Brody as well. The problem was how to tell Brody that.

He knew that telling Brody would be the worst part. How he was going to do it, he didn't know. But he couldn't just leave without telling him. Or could he? Myles struggled with that decision, as well. Brody deserved to know that Myles was leaving, but Myles wasn't ready to talk to him. Not by a long shot.

“Fine, I'll concede. But only under one condition.” Diane wanted to cry but didn't. She'd put on a good game face and make light of the situation. She loved Myles. He was one of her most cherished friends and colleagues. Losing him would hurt, but she understood his need to leave this town and start anew.

Hollywood was a tough place to find love. Myles certainly had tried for the last fifteen years without any success. Maybe New York was the place for him. There they were straightforward, honest, and nonsense wasn't tolerated. All of these were things that could serve Myles well in his quest for happiness.

He tried to lighten the mood. “Let the negotiations begin.”

“You have to let me have a going away party for you this weekend,” she insisted. This was something that she needed to do, more for her than for Myles.

“Absolutely not. No party. I want a clean break,” he told her, “not a maudlin dragging out of things.”

“Just a few friends at my place for drinks?”

Okay, maybe he owed it to her, he thought. “No more than six,” he insisted.

“Deal.” She attempted a smile to let him know things were okay between them but couldn't help but think about what he was going to do about Brody. She carefully broached the subject, curious as to what Myles' plan was to share this news with his best friend for over ten years. “So when are you going to tell Brody that you're heading to the other side of the country?”

Myles paused, obviously considering the question. “I don't know yet.”

Since that night at the go-go bar, he'd avoided Brody. Surprisingly, he wasn't mad at him anymore. He couldn't be. Brody was just being Brody, the scared little boy in a man's body, playing “cops and robbers”. Like the rest of us, Brody was damaged. Myles knew that all too well. Brody's way of dealing was jumping from bed to bed to avoid his feelings. Myles way of dealing with it was to smother someone with love in hopes they'd be capable of returning a small portion of it.

Myles wasn't angry; he just was disappointed, mostly with himself. He had been lying to both of them for ten years thinking that he and Brody had something special. Secretly, had always wished that Brody would love him like he loved Brody, and that they would eventually be a couple. Myles now knew that day would never come and that he'd been lying, not only to himself but also to Brody about their relationship. The only fair thing to do was to move away, far away for both their sakes.

Diane took a long sip of beer and looked at Myles as if she had a solution to the dilemma of how to break the news to Brody. She gave Myles an impish grin and half jokingly suggested, “I could have Richard tell Brody.”

Myles took a drink himself and wondered if that wasn't a half-bad idea.

Brody didn't show up at the station at the start his shift. This was not a rarity anymore. In the past few weeks it had happened again and again. Richard usually solved the problem by calling Brody and waking him up after a late night of drinking or playing video games. But today was worse. Brody didn't answer his phone, so Richard thought best to check on him and see if he was really okay.

Richard banged on the door of Brody's apartment to no avail. He paused and banged again. With his foot he lifted up the doormat to reveal a key underneath. Richard raised his eyes toward heaven.

“And to think he's a cop.”

He opened the door and went inside. Brody, half-naked, lay on the couch unconscious. Richard laughed to himself at how ridiculous his partner looked. He was tempted to take a photo on his phone and show it to the guys at the station, but why kick a man when he's down? Richard glanced around, and spotted a ski pole. He picked it up and punched the smoke detector button on the ceiling. The alarm sounded loud and shrill.

Brody opened his eyes, which weren't focused yet on Richard or anything else and instantly panicked. He sprang up only to find Richard in uniform, laughing at his absurdity.

Richard shook his head. “If you were a horse, I'd be obliged to put you down.”

Brody looked at him and whinnied like a stallion, indicating an invitation to do so.

He looked like he had a terrible hangover and would welcome being put out of his misery. “What time is it? Am I late?”

“Let's just say you're early for lunch. Why don't you get in the shower?”

Brody stood, yawned, and rubbed his eyes. He was indeed exceedingly late, but he didn't care. In fact, within the past couple of weeks, he didn't care about anything. It was like he'd lost his will to go on. He didn't understand it, all he knew was that he was miserable.

“So, how long is this going to go on?” Richard asked, obviously weary of his partner's shenanigans.

“Five minutes. Let me just rinse off.”

“Not the shower, for heaven's sake. The self-pity, the depression. It's been every night this week.”

“I've finally found something I'm good at, and I've almost mastered it.” His tone was self-mocking. “Why stop short of the finish line?”

“Well, since you're already down, I've got something else for you. It's an invitation.” Why not just get this over with? Diane had blackmailed him into telling Brody that Myles was leaving by inviting him to the going away party. Richard fought tooth and nail to get out of having to do this to his partner, but Diane was a relentless litigator, and he knew that he was no match for the leverage she had over him sexually.

“Who from?”

Richard knew Brody had few friends—Diane, himself, and Myles. So no wonder he looked puzzled.

“Diane. She's having people over.”

Suddenly Brody was paying strict attention. “Will Myles be there?” Brody smiled for the first time in a week.

Richard was glad to see his partner happy. “Yup.”

Wow,
Brody thought. This was his chance to reason with Myles, to try to work things out. “This will be the perfect opportunity for me to talk to Myles and set things straight.”

“In theory,” Richard replied, as vaguely as he could.

Maybe he could invite Brody to the party without letting him know what it was for? Richard certainly didn't want to work the day today with Brody reacting to the news that Myles was moving to New York. Richard knew if he played his cards right and worded this conversation carefully, he'd not only get out of having to be the one to break the bad news to Richard, but he'd finally be able to get Brody and Myles in a room together where he hoped they would work things out. Richard proceeded carefully with his choice of words.

“Was this Diane's idea?” Brody asked. Maybe she'd set this up just to bring the two of them together. If so, that was great.

“Absolutely! So you'll come?”

“Of course! Now I've got something to look forward to.” Brody now had a renewed sense of purpose.

“Me too,” Richard answered sardonically.

***

A small group of friends and co-workers stood around a table in the dining room in Diane's house. On the table sat a round cake that read “Bon Voyage.” In the corner Richard was making a miserable attempt at tending bar, something he'd obviously never done before. Myles and Diane stood near the others from the office.

“I kept it small like you wanted,” Diane told him.

Myles knew she was proud of the affair she was throwing on his behalf. It wasn't the small gathering they agreed to, but Myles knew the moment that they made their agreement that Diane had no intention with following through with her promise of a small intimate gathering.

Suddenly, it felt like his heart was melting. “I'll miss you.”

“I'm well aware,” she answered, playfully trying to mask the sadness she was feeling at the loss of her best friend. Then more seriously: “I still can't believe you're doing this, and driving no less.”

“I need to. Plus, five days on the open road will do me well.” He tried to convince himself.

“Wait till you hit Nevada. You'll regret that decision all the way to the Statue of Liberty,” she joked.

Myles felt sadness too, but he was determined to search his soul on this trip and hopefully find what he needed.

Richard walked toward them with two drinks and a panicked expression. He'd failed to tell Diane and Myles that he hadn't fully delivered the message that Myles was leaving. He merely invited Brody to the party. He knew there would be fallout and didn't want to be anywhere close by when the explosion occurred. “Brody's here. I'll be in the bomb shelter if anyone's looking for me,” he said, as he attempted to retreat to the furthest corners of the house.

“Oh, no,” said Diane, clasping his arm and he could tell she wasn't going to let him slip away. He felt, in fact, like a puppy that had just piddled on the carpet. He realized she was going to keep him close by to make sure he didn't get away with anything. “You're not leaving us alone. We need someone here who can handle a firearm.”

Brody entered the room. “Hey! Hi.” He cheerfully greeted everyone, happy to be invited and excited to resolve the conflict between him and Myles.

“Hey,” Myles answered, his voice less than enthusiastic. He wondered why Brody was as happy as he was. Could it be that he agreed with Myles' decision that leaving was the best thing for both of them?

Brody gave Diane a smile. “Thanks for inviting me. It's so good to see you.” He paused as he looked from Diane to Myles. “So, what's the occasion? Myles? Did you get a promotion?”

Myles was in shock. After a moment he glanced at Richard, who stood by the bar with a guilty look on his face.

Diane stared at him too. “Richard,” she demanded, “will you help me, dear? Oh and bring a shovel.” She turned to Myles and Brody. “Would you excuse us? He's going be busy for a while digging a six by three foot, very deep hole out back.” She grabbed Richard's arm and pulled him away like a child caught red-handed toward the kitchen.

Brody looked puzzled. “What was that about?” With Richard's attempted escape and Brody's good cheer, Myles knew that Brody had no idea why he was there. Richard had invited him to a party, and that was all. It was Myles' job now to break the news to him in a roomful of people. Myles was annoyed at Richard, but he knew he had no cause to be. It was his job to do this and no one else's. It had been wrong of him to ask Diane to leverage Richard into doing the dirty deed for him. Myles swallowed hard and tried to deliver the news as best he could to Brody.

“It's just that this isn't exactly a party for my promotion.”

“You didn't get promoted?” Brody was confused.

“Technically I did… I guess you could say that.”

“That's great. Congrats.”

“It's also a going away party.”

“Who for?” Brody looked around the room, and it suddenly dawned on him. “You're the one who's leaving.” He sounded incredulous. “Where are you going? When are you leaving?” Brody tried to wrap his head around what he was hearing. Was this some kind of prank or bad joke? He looked around to see if anyone else was in on the gag, but no one seemed to be. Just Myles standing inches away from him with eyes swelling up, obviously upset at delivering the soul-crushing news to his friend.

Brody had no idea what to make of this. He knew Myles was mad at him, but leaving him for good? Moving away so he'd never have to see him again? It all felt so surreal. Could this really be happening? He felt as if he was still in a drunken haze.

“I'm heading out Saturday morning. Driving cross country to New York.” Myles said with puppy dog eyes.

Brody suddenly looked weak, as if maybe he should sit down. “Saturday? New York?”

Myles nodded sheepishly.

“And this is how you tell me?” Brody suddenly became angry. How dare he break the news to him like this in front of all these people at a party!

“Richard was going to tell you.”

“You asked Richard to tell me?” He couldn't believe this.

“Diane did.” Myles was suddenly very angry with himself for what he had done. Why hadn't he told Brody? Why had he left it up to Richard? Brody deserved better than that.

“How could you move away and not even tell me?” Brody said in a soft, defeated voice, his pain apparent.

“I haven't left yet.” His tone was soft and inviting, subtly if not subconsciously begging Brody to take the bait and be his knight in shining armor and proclaim his love for him. This was the last opportunity Myles would ever give Brody to tell him that he loved him. Seconds seemed like hour as he waited for an answer.

“But you're planning on it. Why?” Brody didn't take the bait. He had his opportunity and once again missed it. Clearly this was not meant to be. He needed to get away from Brody once and for all, since being together as friends would never allow either of them to find true love. Somewhere along the line, Brody had become Myles' point of comparison for anyone he dated and that wasn't fair anymore. Myles had to go, and he was more resolved more than ever to leave.

He wanted Brody to understand. He really needed to escape the situation, get a fresh start, and become a different person. “Because I don't have a reason to stay here anymore.” His voice was sad.

“Am I not a good reason to stay?” Brody's face was filled with hurt and disbelief.

“You tell me.” It came more harshly than he intended. Maybe since he knew he was at fault for the way he'd handled the situation or maybe because he knew that being a bit cruel was the only way Brody would understand what he was saying to him.

“Is it the Hunter thing? I already told you that I didn't plan on ruining that for you. How could I know Stone and Hunter were the same person? And afterwards I was only trying to protect you.”

“I know that. And I'm not mad anymore.
I'm
the reason I'm leaving. I need to grow up and stop looking for my Prince Charming to come find me.”

“That's what I've been saying all along.” Brody agreed.

Maybe they were once again on the same page about how he was deluding himself with his search for the perfect man.

“Well then, I agree with you,” Myles conceded. Brody was right after all. There was no Prince Charming coming for him, certainly not today and probably not ever.

“Do you really think moving to New York is going to make you happy?” Brody felt completely defenseless.

“It's a start.”

“So that's it then?”

He could see that Brody finally understood. Myles had made his decision and was going to stand by it, no matter how difficult it was for him or how badly it hurt.

“I guess so.” Myles stood firm with his gaze at Brody, who looked devastated.

Without another word Brody turned and hurried out the door.

Myles knew his friend was badly hurt and needed to leave before either of them made a scene. It was self-preservation. He hoped the wound would heal itself one day.

***

Brody parked outside the go-go bar, walked inside, and took a seat as the dancers performed their perpetual ritual. He ordered a drink and looked around. There were no prospects, at least not anyone who would fill in the emptiness he felt inside. He signed, took out his phone, and launched the Grindr app. A chat window opened with the photo of a guy named Cameron.

“Nice pics,” the man said. “Into?”

Brody typed a reply.

“So, want to play?”

Brody stopped and took a moment to consider. What was he doing? More to the point, why was he doing this? He didn't give a shit about any of these guys he was sleeping with. Meeting up with them, fucking, and then leaving never to call again, made him feel worse about himself. This was not the life he wanted. This wasn't where he saw himself at thirty-five. It was time he stopped hiding from himself in the beds of strange men. Brody didn't like who he was anymore, and things had to change.

Then he finished his cocktail and deleted the app from his phone.

The bartender stood in front of him. “Get you another?”

Before he could answer, Richard entered the bar and sat beside him .The bartender left to serve another patron and let them talk. It was clear that Brody was there drowning his sorrows and that his friend had come to his aid.

“I'm mad at you,” Brody told him, not in the mood to see anyone, especially Richard.

“I know, but since I'm your only friend now and your partner at work, I figure you need to get over it pretty quickly.”

“You knew it was a going away party.” His tone was hard, accusatory.

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I thought you deserved to hear it directly from Myles. Plus, if I told you, you wouldn't have come and said goodbye.”