The After/Life (The After/Life Odyssey) (3 page)

Chapter VIII

For me, the days and months that followed were a period of blissful numbness – a semi conscious nirvana that only first love can bring about (with no extra chemicals added, kids!). Everything seemed to be a bit blurred and it was only her eyes and her smile and her face and her body that stood out with striking sharpness. The pressing confines of the School somehow let go and there was more air to breathe and the dark whisperer had cowardly retreated, postponing his perpetual struggle for my soul (he would be back all too soon). Little did I know about events that would follow shortly to challenge my sense of euphoria and serve as a grim prologue for the things to come...

…It happened during my usual swimming session. I had been swimming for about an hour already when I heard a strange gurgling noise from the opposite side of the pool. At first, I paid no attention and just kept on swimming with all my thoughts about her - naturally. The noise recurred and this time it was much closer. Most probably, one of the water filters had malfunctioned. It was too dark to see so I swam closer. Reaching the opposite wall, I checked all the filters one by one - they seemed to be in place and working properly. Puzzled, I tried to convince myself that it was just my imagination playing little tricks on my love dazed head. Just then, something slippery brushed on my leg beneath the water. Then it was gone. Terrified, I decided to get out. I was almost at the edge of the pool when something wrapped itself around my foot and pulled me down. I tried to scream and could not and I tried to free my foot but whatever had caught me held on with its repulsively soft but firm grip and it kept pulling me down and down. Managing to take in one last deep breath I was forced underwater. And there, in the dim and deceptive light of the underwater lamps I saw it – its huge green phosphorescing eyes, its deformed body with short degenerated limbs and its single tentacle wrapped around my foot and dragging me ever down towards a gaping black hole at the center of its head. So this is how it was going to end? I tried to struggle free but the creature just kept on pulling and pulling. Its eyes were fixed on mine – so alive and at the same time peculiarly lifeless. I was almost out of air and my foot was getting dragged closer and closer to the creature’s disfigured mouth. It had now settled at the bottom of the pool, spreading its limbs out in a full circle. And as my strength and will to struggle started to abandon me, her face suddenly invaded my mind and her calm voice said: “If you stop – you die”. And I gathered all my remaining powers and there was a moment of absolute clarity and I relaxed. The creature took it as a sign of surrender - I could almost see a carnivorous triumph in its dead eyes. As my right foot disappeared in its mouth I struck out with my left one aiming and hitting the creature in the eyes. A dark cloud immediately appeared and started to spread in the water but the monster held on. I then reached down and grabbed its eye sockets with my hands and started to tear them apart. The grip on my foot relaxed and I was able to break free. Instead of swimming out, I continued to rupture the animal’s head. I could hardly see anything as the water was now polluted with its black blood. The creature was trying to wrap its tentacle around my neck, its limbs were hitting the bottom of the pool in an uncontrollable rage, its gaping mouth was opening and closing. I placed my feet on the ground and, holding the creature by the now empty sockets of its murderous eyes started smashing it against the bottom of the pool in a dark frenzy. I went on until I felt how the skull of the creature gave in and there was a fountain of thick blood that engulfed me. I don’t remember how I swam out. I briefly regained consciousness lying at the side of the pool, covered in blood – both mine and the creature’s. The monster itself was floating lifelessly on the surface with only its tentacle beating weakly in agony. Then I faded again and there was darkness and the dark whisperer was back singing a sinister lullaby… (hope you guessed my name).

I spent three weeks in the medical unit. The creature had left a deep wound around my right foot – poisoning me and injecting me with a massive dose of radiation. The scientists could not identify my attacker. It was not a representative of any known species but an ugly offspring of the radioactive apocalypse. I was not doing well at all and at one point, Dr. Jain was even considering taking my foot away so as to stop the poison from spreading. I vividly remember the tears in her beautiful greenish brown eyes. I had a strong fever and had lost every sense of reality, all the time drifting in and out of a delirium. Throughout this ordeal, Suzannah was by my side and it was her voice that finally pulled me out. During the lengthy period of my recovery she would come and sit by my side. She would not talk much – instead, she would smile and hold my hand and somehow I knew that it was going to be alright. To the general amazement, I made a full recovery and the only testament to my deadly encounter was the wide scar around my foot, which I eventually grew to be quite proud of…

The second event that stood out in that period took place just when I was out of the medical unit and was on my way to the quarters. It seemed like nothing much at the time but would eventually make sense in the grim context of the events that followed. I was passing by the communication room and noticed unusual commotion inside. Teacher Amros was working frantically at the terminal with the Principal by his side. One of the Students – Frank, a quiet kid of about nine (a child of the New Era), was standing in the corner – extremely pale, with his mouth slightly agape. I decided to go in and check out what was happening. Just as I was stepping in the Principal turned around. He looked positively scared and confused.

-Trainee Raven, leave this facility immediately and go to your quarters.
-Yes, Principal.

As I was turning around to leave I caught a glimpse of the terminal Amros was working on. I thought I could see a sound wave being played there… abruptly I was out in the corridor with the steel door sliding shut behind me. This incident had left me puzzled but I was sure that there was a simple and logical explanation to the whole thing and I would have written it off as something entirely insubstantial if it wasn’t for poor Frank. The next morning I found out that he was taken to the medical unit unconscious. His condition was critical and he soon slipped into a coma. After two days, the intercom brought us the news that Frank had passed away. No reason was announced for the sudden death and many members of the School wrote him off as another casualty of the dark whisperer. Somehow, I knew better…

Chapter IX

I didn’t want to tell Suzannah about the communication lab incident. After all, it was most probably a non consequential event and poor Frank’s death was just a badly timed accident (what is just another death on the global canvas of total annihilation? Certainly does not add much to the picture…). The Teachers usually liked to make a big deal of their scholarly work and would sometimes overreact when a Student dared to make an unannounced intrusion. It was probably just that…except it wasn’t. And Suzannah would also think it wasn’t… I wish I hadn’t told her. Maybe everything would have happened differently then. Maybe we could have had a normal life. Maybe…

…For about a week, I was successful at keeping my mouth shut, which was quite an outstanding personal achievement. The child prodigy storyteller had grown into an aspiring teenage orator and felt the necessity of sharing his damn opinion on every single topic. I probably sound angry with myself and I am. What is done is done and whatever happened would, most probably, have happened anyway… I will never know though and my share of guilt will be my faithful companion for as long as I am alive (that may not be a very long time anyway – not in the present circumstances). And while my excessive talkativeness played a role, it wasn’t just that. It was her eyes. I could not lie to them. I could not say “no” to them. They put a spell on me and held me firmly in their grip. Eventually, all she had to do was simply ask - I told her the whole story along with my ever helpful and abundant theories. After I finished, she was silent for a while. When she spoke her voice was uneven. That familiar look in the eyes was back. Immediately, I knew I had made a mistake.

”Nad?”
”Yes, love.”
”Do you know what this means?”
”This most probably means nothing at all. I think I am just going crazy. It’s a bonus aftereffect of that radioactive bastard’s bite.”

She paid no attention. The storm in the depths of her eyes was gathering force.

”All this time they have been lying to us. All this time, they were receiving signals from outside. All this time they knew we were not the only ones alive…”
”But Suzannah…”

Her voice was growing louder; I looked around to make sure we were still alone…

”All this time they have been keeping us in a blindfold. All this time we were playing their game…”
”Baby, let’s not…”

She was almost screaming now. Her voice was filled with anger and something else I did not like at all – hatred.

”These fucking bastards. People outside could have been begging us for help and they just kept on pretending that everything was fucking A-OK!”
”Suzannah – stop!”
”Don’t you understand, Nad? It could have been our parents out there begging to be let in. It could have been our parents, Nad. It could have been my Dad!”

She was crying now. Big tears started to fall in huge drops from her majestic grey eyes. I tried to hug her but she pushed me away.

”They will pay for what they have done.”
”Suzannah, I think for now we should just calm down and not jump into conclusions. Whatever you say may be true but how can we be sure?”
”Do you want them to write it on the fucking wall? “Dear all, we have been fucking with your brains for the last ten years. Thank you for your ignorance. It is truly our bliss.” Is that what you fucking want?!”

I felt that I was slowly but surely losing the grip on my temper.

”Suzannah, now listen to me – we should not over-dramatize…”
”I am not over-dramatizing, Nad, you are just too cowardly to accept the truth…”
”I think you should just shut the fuck up.”

Her face was very still for a moment. She then stood up and, without saying another word, walked away.

I did not sleep that night. If I were living outside, I am sure it would have been raining. I was furious at her and every thought of a possible conspiracy had taken a back seat to my feeling of dismay. And the whole night, I carried on an unspoken debate with her, telling her just what I thought of her pitiful theories (which, ironically, I shared) and of her wonderful daddy, who was probably one of those who cooked up our homemade Armageddon in the first place.

I saw her again the next day - she just walked by me and my “hello” froze in my throat – unuttered. I was in love and my defiance was gone all too quickly and I wished I could just undo the whole conversation and I wished that everything would be back to how it was before. Apparently, that is not how things work and what followed instead was a period of silence in which we were back to our parallel lives. I was attending the classes, going to the pool, getting drunk with my friend Bars and telling him over and over just how unfair the whole situation was. Naturally, I would not tell the real reason behind our break up. Bars (a Student of my age, who was studying to be a mathematician) would listen and then propose for the n-th time to just forget her and move on. And I would agree and say that next day I would do just that and move on and start a new life and, depending on the amount of School made rum I drank, would or wouldn’t really mean it. But then the next day would come and a single glimpse of her would bring the whole thing back. I learned the hard way that the breakup in a confined space is very problematic. Whatever you do – you can’t evade seeing her: in the auditorium, in the corridor, in the cafeteria, in the church – everywhere I went I would see her. And every time I saw her I wanted to talk to her and every time she saw me she simply ignored me. Sometimes, I felt like she was looking at me, trying to say something but then the moment would pass and I would write it off as a feat of the old good wishful thinking. Those were very tough six months… probably the longest six months of my life. In the overall emotional chaos I was in, I had almost forgotten the incident that started it all. The Principal had regained his cool and talked to me as if nothing had ever happened. Somehow, this made me feel even more miserable. The door of the lab was always closed now with a special access terminal placed beside it but it didn’t mean much to me at the time. At the time, all my thoughts were about her.

On the sixth month after our breakup, she started dating Teacher Miko. She seemed very happy and very much in love with the tall fellow in huge glasses, who looked like he had just received a fucking lifetime achievement award by dating her. She seemed very happy and the happier she seemed, the heavier I drank. At one point, I was close to becoming an underage alcoholic (first of the now extinct kind). Then one night, after a particularly abundant drinking session, I just told myself: “enough!” and I moved on…
Living in a nuclear shelter with a population of just over 170, I did my absolute best to date every girl I could date and, eventually, I was mostly happy again. Sometimes, a wave of misery would sweep over me and I would rush to find consolation in the arms of my current girlfriend. It probably sounds selfish and it was. I would play with people’s feelings with little remorse, feeling myself entitled to behave that way. Little by little, I learned not to notice her presence and life was almost back to normal again but for that occasional feeling of her eyes on me – a hidden message in her stare.

Years went by - there was the graduation day and I received me new uniform – black with a single red stripe on the shoulder - I became a Teacher…

I loved teaching. I was good at it. I would tell my Students stories that great men of the Era Gone had made up and they would listen and I would see their imagination come to life in their innocent eyes and it made me happy. My happiness did not waver even when I found out that Suzannah (herself a Teacher of arts and crafts now) was getting married. We hadn’t spoken to each other for years now and it was just the way it should have been.
The memory about the incident in the communication lab was stored on a remote shelf in the back of my brain and I wasn’t planning to take it out anytime soon. I was with Dr. Jain now and Principal Higgins had named me the Young Teacher of the year. My life was very much back on track. Then it all fell apart…