The After/Life (The After/Life Odyssey) (4 page)

Chapter X

It all started on a quiet evening (there was seldom any other kind in our underground kingdom). I was walking back to my quarters in the northern wing of the School. As a Teacher, I had finally become eligible to a separate room. Thanks to a bizarre engineering mistake or an outright sick construction joke, my room actually had a window. This was the only window in the entire School and probably the only window ever installed in any underground shelter. This surrealistic opening in the wall actually came out into the elevator shaft and every time the elevator went up or down, a thin ray of light would invade my room and trace its way up to the ceiling. Then it would be gone - till the next time. At first, this ever repeating light show annoyed me immensely but little by little I got used to it and even started liking it. Sometimes, I would sit by the window at night with a glass of rum and a School made cigar (our ex-pastor, truly a holy man, insisted on cultivating tobacco in a section of the garden) and my imagination would carry me away and sometimes I no longer felt like a survivor of the apocalypse. Sometimes, I felt like I was up there, living a life in the world before it was so brutally assassinated. I would look out into the darkness of the elevator shaft and imagine that there was an actual pre-apocalyptic living and breathing city in that darkness. And when the light invaded my room, I imagined it wasn’t from the elevator - it was from a car speeding by my house. Where was it heading? Probably home; everyone strives to get back home…

…As I turned the last corner towards my quarters, I stopped abruptly and gave out an involuntary sigh. Standing there, right next to my door was Suzannah. Her hair was down and her eyes were burning with the same kind of flame I knew, and, in spite of everything, loved. We looked at each other for a very long time. She then came up to me and our lips locked in a kiss I had craved for ever since our last conversation. I don’t know how long we stood there, kissing. Finally, I was able to draw away from her and looked into her eyes.

”What the hell are you doing Suzannah?”
”Do you still love me Nad?”
”Don’t ask me that question. Not after all this time. Not after all the silence. Not after you got married.”
”So do you?”
”No, I don’t,” it was the biggest lie I could ever tell and she could see it all too well, unfortunately.
”Things are going to change, Nad.  Bad things are going to happen here. We need to stop them.”
”What are you talking about?”
”Do you believe me?”

I looked at her for some time. I noticed, with some surprise, that we were holding hands.

”Do you believe me?” she repeated, her burning eyes holding mine in her mesmerizing grasp.

I wanted to say yes… And then I remembered. I remembered all the times she passed me by with not so much as a glance. I remembered how she simply moved on after our unfinished conversation so long ago. I remembered how she laughed and joked around while I was making an inspired run for the title of the youngest alcohol addict of the School. I remembered her on her wedding day…

”No, Suzannah, I don’t. I think it is better you leave now. Your husband must be worried,” my voice sounded very cold and detached to my own ears.

I saw pain reflected in her eyes and somehow it made me feel good. Does that make me a bad person? Perhaps so, but I felt good nevertheless. We stood facing each other for a moment longer. She then turned around and left. I never saw her again...

The next morning, the School awoke to the news that Principal Higgins was dead and that Teacher Suzannah Ulkaner was gone. There was a search party looking for her throughout the School. They even went down to the reactor facility but no trace of her could be found anywhere. No one had ever disappeared from the School (after all, it was a hermetically sealed steel structure). The only exit from the shelter was the massive steel door we came through. That door had not been opened for over two decades now. The code to the terminal unlocking the door was known to the Principal and to the Principal alone. People were scared - they did not know what to make of the situation. I think that was one of the reasons Teacher Viler was elected the new Principal. Stephen Viler was about four years older than me. I never liked him. There was no particular reason for this. He was an excellent Student, generally admired by both the Teachers and the Students. He always said the right things and was very active in all the School activities. But as I watched him throughout all these years, I always had this peculiar feeling… like there was something rotten about him, like he was acting a part – acting effortlessly and naturally but acting nevertheless. I had the same gnawing feeling of unease when he was addressing the School in the aftermath of Principal Higgins’s death and Suzannah’s mysterious disappearance. His speech was, for lack of a better word, perfect. He was saying exactly what people wanted to hear. He promised leadership and stability, although, he said, certain measures needed to be taken to ensure the safety of the School. He did not say what measures he was talking about and what dangers he wanted to protect us against. He did not have to. Suzannah’s disappearance scared people and their mind did an excellent job of erecting imaginary monsters. In a general vote organized shortly afterwards, Viler received the absolute majority of the votes. I voted against him. One of the only ones to do so, I watched how the new Principal took charge amidst a general jubilation. And as the he gave the oath to serve and protect the School, I could hear her voice in my head, repeating over and over again: “bad things are going to happen…”. I tried to push it away – the voice persisted. As it turned out, she was all too right…

Chapter XI

Two years had passed since Suzannah’s disappearance and her grim prophecy was coming to life day by day. We lived in a very different School those days… Principal Viler was still addressing everyone through the intercom every morning with the traditional morning greeting he inherited from the previous Principal. He did make certain…amendments though…it now sounds like this:

“Students, Teachers, the School wishes you a very good morning. Remember, our eyes
 cannot see the sun looking into our window, our eyes cannot see the clouds in the sky, but we can see the evil lurking among us - we shall fight it and destroy it. We have survived, you have survived and we have found a new home and our new home is our School and your master is your Principal. We have survived and we were chosen and it is our mission to carry on the light and life into a new beginning. It is our duty to obey the laws of the School and the Principal. We are the School and we are together and in unity is our strength and in obedience - our salvation for it is obedience that saved us when the bomb fell, it is obedience that keeps us alive now and it is obedience that will lead us into the future”.

Principal Viler was a very busy man ever since taking office, making up and imposing new rules and regulations aimed at “maintaining the security and integrity of the School and fighting the enemy within”. What it came down to was an old good witch hunt, with Teachers and Students alike getting arrested by the new class of Security Assistants, referred to as SA and prosecuted by the School Tribunal, which the Principal presided over. The charges varied but were mostly associated with a great Conspiracy, which aimed at destabilizing the School and destroying the “last haven of human civilization”. There was one punishment if the charges were proven: the Students were expelled and the Teachers were fired, which was actually quite an accurate description of how the punishment was carried out: the convicted person would be taken to the incinerator chamber to be burned alive. The unimaginable cruelty of this act was actually supported by the majority of the School, which was continuously and effectively brainwashed into seeing monsters lurking in the shadows.

The Students were told to report on their parents and the Teachers were to keep special records on the behavior of their Students. Video surveillance cameras were installed in the entire School, along with monitors playing pre-recorded addresses from the Principal. The walls of the corridors and the auditoriums were covered with propaganda posters with excerpts from these speeches: “obedience is the key”, “be watchful for the enemy is right next to you”, “we shall prevail”, “your School cares about you – help keep it safe” and other similar nonsense. The Pastor’s daily address was also spiced up with similar messages in the context of the Armageddon still raging outside and the Sly One trying to find his way in into the “holy grounds” of the School.

My own relations with the Principal were tense but he did not go as far as charging me with any offense. My little adventure in the School pool gave me certain … celebrity status. The Teachers and Students alike were looking up to me and it would be problematic to convince them that I was part of the Conspiracy. Being a shrewd politician, Principal Viler maintained a very friendly façade when we met. While he was all smiles, his cold, almost unblinking eyes gave a very clear message: my prosecution was just a matter of time. He would certainly enjoy watching me burn…

It was at the end of one of my classes when I saw Ms. Kendall standing by the door of the auditorium. After saving my life so many years ago, she had become something of a mother figure for me. No longer very young, her eyes still preserved the warm glow that always made me feel better. I would visit her once in a while and we would talk and she would give me advice – the only person who could get away with it without encountering my (consistently fierce) resistance. In the last year or so, ever since our homegrown inquisition really kicked in, I started to notice certain changes in her (usually very calm) behavior. It was like there was something she wanted to tell me but hesitated. I didn’t want to push because I just knew her all too well. She would tell me when and if she decided it was time. When I saw her standing by the door in her gray Senior Teacher’s robe, looking impatient and calm at the same time, I immediately understood that that time had come…

Chapter XII

Finally, the last Student was out of the auditorium. I took a deep breath (which sounded a lot like a sigh) and slowly walked towards Ms. Kendall, trying to look calm and composed (but failing on both accounts). She was looking at me with a kind but troubled smile. I loved that smile - the way it lit her features with an inner radiance – making her look so very young again, just like she did on that day a lifetime ago...

”Teacher Kendall, such an honor to see you in my class.”
”Teacher Raven, always my pleasure to visit an old friend.”
”Is there something I can do for you?”
”Well, to start with, you could accompany an old lady on her trip to the library.”
”With pleasure, madam!”

As we went out of the auditorium, we had to stop and make way for the Security Assistant recruits marching and chanting their consistently idiotic slogans. Many of them were nice kids once; I even taught to some of them and could remember the way they were before… it is unfortunate but the truth of life, even in the post-apocalyptic world is that power perverts people – the promise of power even more so … Viler knew that all too well. And as I looked at the faces of these young hounds of the Principal I could clearly see the ugly stigma of their perceived superiority – superiority through pain, superiority through violence, superiority through death. Viler had trained them well, they had already seen blood and they loved it. I looked at Ms. Kendall – her face was very pale and her mouth was twisted in a grimace of disgust. I raised my eyebrow quizzically and gently pulled her sleeve. She looked at me and nodded. Such public display of disaffection would be noticed and reported. The SA worked very efficiently.

Finally, the corridor was empty and we were able to move on. Principal Viler’s face seemed to follow our journey through the displays on the walls; his voice carried an added menace. Or it was just me - slowly but surely going insane (I could almost hear the happy chuckle of the dark whisperer from the depths of my mind – his time was coming)…

The School library was one of the few places yet unspoiled by the rule of the new Principal. The one cardinal change was that it was an increasingly empty place these days (just right for a little conspiracy talk). As we entered the reading hall, Ms. Kendall went up to one the shelves and took out a weathered looking book. I immediately recognized one of my favorites – Homer’s Odyssey. Ms. Kendall carried the book to one of the armchairs and sat down. All this was very strange and while I was intrigued I was also very worried – there were dark circles under her eyes – she had not been sleeping much lately. I sat down next to her.

”Ms. Kendall, are you ok?”

She did not answer - she was looking at the book with a black and white illustration of Odyssey’s ship escaping the wrath of the Cyclops. Odyssey’s silhouette, faded but still visible, was standing upright on the deck of the ship – a one man show of defiance.

”Ms. Kendall, how bad is it? It is bad, isn’t it?”

She finally looked up. For a second, there was an almost visible internal struggle and then she made up her mind. When she spoke, her voice was calm.

”How bad is it, Nad? Do you really need me, a wretched old lady, to answer that question?”
”I guess not. It is very bad and will get even worse – the man is evidently enjoying his position as the mini god of our little underground kingdom. Things are clearly spiraling out of control.”
”Why don’t I know any optimists, Nad?”
”I used to be one, madam, but in our present circumstances the optimists don’t have a very long life expectancy.”
”You know Principal Higgins liked you very much. He once told me you would one day make a great Principal.”
”Really?”
”You don’t believe me, Nad…”
”I do have my reasons, Ms. Kendall.”
”Your reasons…you know what I think about them?”

She looked at me and her face was no longer smiling, her eyes were cold – almost hostile.

”Your reasons… they don’t mean shit.”

I looked at her with a kind of amazement. It was the first time I heard her use a profanity. Indeed, wonders never cease.

”There is a lot you don’t know about and God knows I would love everything to stay that way… unfortunately that is no longer possible.”
”What are you talking about?”
”You see, me and Principal Higgins were…very close…friends. He was a good man, a kind man and he really believed in the School and our mission. He inspired me as much as he inspired all of us. You can’t even imagine how tough it is to craft something out of nothing in a situation where everything has fallen apart, in a situation where all you have to do is just give up and let the sweet darkness swallow you.”
”Hmm, I know the feeling.”
”Kid, so far, everything you know is a bit of heartbreak and a particularly hungry fish you wrestled with, nothing more. Believe me, there are far bigger monsters out there. You have always been a talker and a good one but right now just shut up and listen.”
”Yes, madam.”
”Principal Higgins, along with a few of the original Teachers took the oath to protect the School and the people living here. I don’t think you remember the first days after the End but it was tough – people had lost everything, most importantly – they had lost hope - the very desire to live on. This was a dangerous situation and the only way we could find to overcome it was to give people something to live for - a new goal, a dream worth pursuing. That is how the School was born. And it worked… At one point we thought that we had made it through and that the worst was over…”

She was silent for a moment. I waited patiently for her to continue.

”It was all going fine until one day. You know the day I am talking about, don’t you, Nad?”

My ever resourceful mind transported me to the communication lab - I could see Student Frank’s scared face as he watched Teacher Amros work at the terminal.

”I think I do.”
”That day changed everything. It was the day we received the first signal.”
”What signal?”

She did not seem to hear me, just kept on talking, talking and looking at the weathered cover of the book. Her voice sounded distant – almost dreamy.

”We were happy. The signal proved that there were other survivors like us and we were not alone on this planet. I remember how Principal Higgins stormed into my room, grabbed me in his arms and gave me the longest kiss I have ever known. I had never seen him like that. He said he was going to make an announcement – share the good news with the School. I asked him not to hurry and decode the signal first. It took some convincing but finally he listened to me. He appointed Teacher Amros to work on the message. Frank was there to help him. He was a gifted kid but it took the two of them days to find the right combination. When you came into the lab, they were just playing the decoded message…”

There was silence once again but this time she lifted her eyes from the book and looked at me attentively.

”What I am going to tell you now will change everything, Nad. I think it is only fair that you stop me now and we forget about this conversation. You can just go on with your life and believe me - you can still have a life here. I don’t think Principal Viler is stupid enough to touch you.”

I smiled.

”I know that smile Raven – never know what’s best for you, do you?”
”I am who I am.”
”And I expected nothing less from you, my boy…”

She reached out and touched my cheek with a tenderness that made me blush.

”When the signal was decoded, we discovered that it was actually a pre-recorded message which mostly consisted of pseudo religious gibberish. The speaker was addressing someone he called the new children urging them to fight on with what he referred to as the old kind. He was mentioning names of places, which sounded like the altered and mispronounces variations of our neighboring cities. All of this was very troubling… it still proved that there was life after the End. That night, Principal Higgins called a meeting with the senior Teachers and some new members of the School Council. He was saying that people had the right to know. He was calling for a general vote where people would decide whether they want to stay in the School or venture outside.”

I was listening with a kind of fascinated disbelief.

”Some of the members of the Council backed him but then Viler came into play. He was the youngest member of the Council but already enjoyed significant influence thanks to his…resourcefulness. Feeling that some of the Teachers were unsure or outright scared, he immediately seized the opportunity and came up with a counter proposal to just leave it the way it was. His arguments were all the more effective taking into account the nature of the received signal. Very quickly, he was able to convince most of the Council that informing the School about the signal would be a hasty, dangerous and foolish move. Principal Higgins and I remained a vocal minority and the initial proposal was overturned… that night, Viler became the de facto new Principal with most of the Teachers sharing his views. That was also the night we got the first glimpse of his bloodthirsty nature. He said that to ensure the safety of the School, all the untrustworthy witnesses of the event had to be eliminated. Principal Higgins and Teacher Amros were considered trustworthy – Frank was not. Viler killed the poor kid himself on that same night – strangled him with a pillow. We had to stop him but we were weak and scared. Some part of us even agreed with him…”

I could see tears in her eyes but as she went on - her voice did not waver.

”You know Principal Higgins liked you very much. He wanted to protect you. It was he who made Teacher Amros vow not to tell anyone you were in the lab that evening.”
”If he did, you would tolerate my death as well?”
”Shut up and listen. For a moment, we thought that the storm had passed but then you told everything to Suzannah. She was very…emotional about the whole thing and confronted Principal Higgins. You know the way she was. He told her the whole truth but asked her to keep quiet for her own safety. He also asked her to stop communicating with you – otherwise you would both be in danger.”

There were a thousand things I wanted to say - instead I said nothing. Inside, I could feel my little world, unscathed even by the tyranny of Viler, start collapsing.

”You know she always loved you. She did agree to keep her silence… on one condition. That condition was that whenever she wanted to leave the School, the Principal would give her the code and allow you to leave with her.”

I suddenly felt that it was very hard to breathe. I stood up then sat down again. She followed me with her kind eyes.

”She had her own doubts about the outside world as did all of us. In the years that followed, we received many more messages – some of them very… troubling. There was a point where all of us seemed to agree that Viler’s decision to keep the contact with the outside world a secret was actually the best way out. Still, sometimes Suzannah would come and talk to me. At that time she was already with Miko but still couldn’t get over you. Your questionable dating ethics were infuriating her – don’t you smile, young man!, but she was still attracted to you. The two of you were so alike. I knew what was coming and that her marriage wasn’t going to solve anything. Sure enough, one day she came to my quarters and said that she had made up her mind. I can tell you the rest of the story but I guess you would like to hear it from her.”

I was looking at her in dumb amazement as she took out a carefully folded sheet of paper from her robe and handed it to me. I unfolded it - my hands shaking uncontrollably. All I saw was a series of numbers in four long columns. She then handed me the book she was holding.

”In this book is the key. You will figure it out. Talk to me again when you read what is written here or just forget about it and move on.”

I left the library without saying a word. My shattered heart was beating rapidly in my chest.