The Alien (8 page)

Humans have very odd tastes. They think their music is beautiful. They are wrong. It is awful. All of it. And they completely ignore their greatest accomplishments: the cinnamon bun, the Snickers bar, the hot pepper, and the refreshing beverage called vinegar.

— From the Earth Diary of Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill

B
eing in Prince Jake's body is no different from being in my regular human morph. Except that it is slightly larger. Since the morph was formed from his DNA, I looked exactly like him. Cassie insisted I borrow a garment called “overalls” and a pair of boots from her barn before entering her home. Humans are very particular about clothing. I still do not understand why.

“Hi, Jake. Cassie talk you into helping her muck out the barn again?” Cassie's father asked me as I walked into her house.

He was a male — as all human fathers are. His hair was dark brown, but it seemed to have been removed from much of his head. He wore round transparent lenses on his face, which, I am told, are for correcting faulty vision. His complexion is darker. He had the usual number of legs and arms.

“No,” I said. “She asked me to eat your food. Food. Ood-duh.”

“Well,
someone
has to eat it. Might as well be you who suffers. I cooked tonight. Made my world-famous chili.”

Cassie's eyes suddenly widened. She looked frightened. “Oh. Chili? Um, Jake said he wasn't really hungry. He already ate.”

“Is chili a very frightening food?” I asked Cassie.

Her father grinned. “Mine is.”

“Is that Jake I hear out there?” someone called from the next room. A female appeared who I assumed was Cassie's mother. She had dark hair, but much more of it than Cassie's father. Her hair had not been removed.

She stuck her two arms in my direction and walked toward me. “Oh, you just get more handsome every time I see you, Jake.” She wrapped her two arms around me and squeezed me briefly. Then she released me. “Are you staying for some of the Chili of Doom?”

“Yes, I asked him to join us,” Cassie said. “But he's not very hungry. In fact, he just ate. So he probably won't want any chili.”

Cassie's mother smiled at Cassie's father. “Isn't it just precious the way she tries to protect him?”

“Too late,” Cassie's father said. “He's trapped now. There is no escape.”

In order to eat we had to sit down in front of a table. I had done this before while impersonating Prince Jake at Prince Jake's home. So I knew how to do it. I knew what a fork was. Also a spoon and a knife.

I discovered that chili is brown and red. It contains several ingredients and smells a lot. There was also something called jalapeño corn bread. And there was a bowl of pieces of different fruits.

After so many warnings, I was very nervous about tasting the chili. But I sensed that Cassie's father would be offended if I did not try some. So I ate a spoonful.

I think that as long as I live, I will never forget that experience.

The chili was hot in temperature. But it was also hot in a totally new way.

The taste buds of my human tongue seemed to explode! They burned with an intensity of flavor like nothing I'd tasted before or since. Every nerve in my body seemed to tingle. Water dribbled from the tiny ducts beside my eyes.

It was not as wonderful as chocolate. But it was intense! So incredibly intense!

Oh! An Andalite would never understand. This was what being human was all about. Taste! The glory of it. The incredible wonder of it.

“This is a wonderful food!” I cried.

“Excuse me?” Cassie's mother said.

“Ah HAH! At last. Someone who understands the joy of hot food!” Cassie's father cried.

I realized I had eaten my entire bowl of that marvelous chili. I wanted more. That taste! That feeling! I wanted more!

“There's plenty more,” Cassie's father said. He filled my bowl again.

“Um, Jake?” Cassie said. “You really don't have to eat that much.”

“I'll eat yours!” I cried.

My eyes were bulging from my head. My skin was tingling. My stomach was making sounds. But still, I wanted more.

“I love this kid,” Cassie's father said. “I wonder if his parents would let us adopt him. Jake, you are a very discerning, intelligent young man.”

“He's insane,” Cassie's mother said. “There's no other explanation.”

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my leg. I suspected that Cassie had kicked me under the table. I looked at her. She smiled sweetly, and then kicked me again.

“That's probably enough chili,” she said. She was staring at me in a very direct way.

“Yes. That is enough chili,” I agreed. I pushed the bowl away. “Chili. Illi. Chee-lee.”

“I used habanero chilies,” Cassie's father said. “The hottest substance known to man.”

“Not as hot as the temperature created during nuclear fusion,” I pointed out.

“So how is school, Jake?” Cassie's mother asked.

I knew what this activity was. This was called “making conversation.” The rules were that each person would ask the other person a question.

“It is fine. And how is your work caring for animals?”

“Same old, same old,” Cassie's mother said. “Although we are about to have some new camel babies.”

Cassie's mother is a veterinarian at the zoo, a place where nonhuman animals are kept.

“So, Jake, you think the Bulls are going all the way again this year?” Cassie's father asked.

I could tell that Cassie was growing tense. She was afraid that I would not understand the question. But thanks to my reading of the
World Almanac
, I knew the “Bulls” were a sports team.

“Yes,” I answered. “They can go all the way.”

Then, it was my turn to ask a question. That is how “making conversation” works. “So, did you know that the cream separator was invented in 1878?”

Apparently, they did not know. Cassie, her mother, and her father all stared at me in surprise.

After that, we watched television for a while. It was a fictional depiction of a family. I watched it, and watched Cassie and her parents.

A human family was a good thing to learn about. I had seen Prince Jake's family. And now I was seeing Cassie's family. They are different in some ways. For example, Prince Jake's family performs a brief religious ritual before they eat. Cassie's family does not. And in Prince Jake's family, the father falls asleep while watching television. In Cassie's family, it was her mother who began to fall asleep.

“I must go,” I told Cassie. “It has been almost two of your hours.” Cassie's mother revived long enough to say that I was crazy, but I was “still so cute.”

Her father winked his left eye at me and waved as I left. Then he laughed at something from the television.

Outside in the cool evening air, Cassie sighed heavily. “Well, we got through that without it being too much of a disaster. Come on. I'll walk you out a ways, till you can morph back without being seen. By the way, here's a book for you, since you're done with the
World Almanac
. It's a book of quotes. Stuff that famous people said.” She held it out for me to take.

“Thank you,” I said.

I felt strange walking into the dark. Walking away from Cassie's house. Strange. As if it were cold out, although it wasn't.

“So what did you think of my parents?” Cassie asked.

“I liked them,” I said. “But why has your father removed the hair from his head? Hair. Hay-yer. I meant to ask him, but forgot.”

“He's going bald,” Cassie said. “It's probably better not to mention it. It's a normal thing for humans. But some people get sensitive about it.”

“Ah, yes. My father's hooves are getting dull. It's normal as well, but he doesn't like to talk about it.”

“What's your father like? And your mother?”

“They are . . . just normal parents. They are very nice. They are . . .”

“Go on.”

“My throat feels strange,” I said. “Like there is an obstruction. I am having difficulty speaking. Ing. Is this normal?”

Cassie put her arm beneath mine. “You miss them. That's normal.”

“An Andalite warrior may spend many years in space, far from his home and family. That's normal.”

“Ax. You said it yourself. You may be an Andalite warrior, but you're still a kid, too.”

I stopped walking. I was far from the light of the house. I could change back into my own shape without being seen. I realized I was looking up at the stars.

“Where are they?” Cassie asked, following the direction of my gaze. “If you're allowed to tell me that.”

I pointed with my human fingers at the quadrant of space where my home star twinkled. “There.”

I watched that star as I melted out of my human form and returned to my true Andalite body.

“Ax, you know that Jake and Tobias and me, and even Rachel and Marco, we all care about you. You know that, right? You're not just some alien to us.”

I said. Once more an Andalite, I ran for the forest.

I
spent part of the night reading the book of quotes. I should have been resting, but I felt disturbed.

More and more I thought of how easily I could turn the radio telescope at the observatory into a Z-Space transmitter. The idea of contacting my parents filled me with sadness and longing.

They could tell me what to do
, I thought.
They could give me instructions.

And in another part of my mind I thought,
Wouldn't they be proud that I was fighting on against the Yeerks? They would all say, “He's another Elfangor. A hero.”

I'm not proud that I was thinking that. But I have to tell the truth. And the truth was, I wanted everyone back home to think I was being very brave, all alone on Earth.

Already in my mind a plan was taking shape.

I found a quiet place and prepared to sleep. I closed my main eyes, leaving only my stalk eyes open to look for danger. I relaxed my tail until it touched the ground.

Lonely
.

Yes, it was lonely to sleep in a forest on a planet far from home. It was lonely to be the only one of my kind.

It was lonely knowing that Cassie was asleep in her home, and Marco in his, and Rachel and Jake. All had homes.

All but me. And Tobias.

Tobias. He would understand. But would he help me? If I did what I was planning, would he help? And could I trust him?

I raised my tail and opened my main eyes. I knew the place where Tobias slept. I found him easily. He stood with his sharp talons wrapped around a branch.

I called.

He opened his wings and seemed to be stretching.

It surprised me that he would answer so quickly. As if there was never any doubt what the answer would be. I said.

Tobias was silent for a while.

Tobias said.

never
break?>

Tobias said,

I said softly. Even here, among aliens, Elfangor was the hero.

And so, I told Tobias of my plan.